Just A Person Doing Inner Work

Welcome to my blog. I am on an inner work journey, trying to heal myself and to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be. While I do post more positive things for those who might need to hear it, I also try to post things in hopes to keep people thinking. If you have questions, wanna get my opinion on something, or share your own positive thoughts and affirmations, my ask and submissions are open

[owhereartthoudanny]

I just want to state that all posts on my tumblr are mostly opinions, but I do try to use as many facts as I can. I don’t like being ignorant, and I don’t think it will get me far in life without having some informed opinion about situations or about the things I talk about.

Now you might ask me “well how do you know for sure that it’s really factual and not just an opinion?” Isn’t that how most things are though? How do you know the sky is truly blue or the grass is really green? There isn’t really a solid factual basis for this. The reason why I say that is because there are people who are colour blind who might see green as red or blue or some other colour. So to them the grass isn’t green and the sky isn’t blue.

So while a lot of what I say is mostly opinion I do try to use what information I am able to collect from the internet and from books and use those to make my posts.

I dont make posts to get followers I just make them for myself. So I can express myself without fear of someone out there seeing my face and saying “well because you look this way your opinion is wrong.” But am I wrong? For all anyone knows I could be a person of colour or white I could be a female or male. While yes “Danny” is traditionally male, for all anyone knows, it could be used for a girl if she wanted to.

Basically I’m just a person with ideas and thoughts that sharing on tumblr doesn’t make any huge difference in society because I feel like im really just preaching to a choir given the majority of users on tumblr

[owhereartthoudanny]

Remember it doesn’t matter your gender, sexuality, race, you should love your fellow human. And it’s okay to disagree with somethings. But what’s important is that you respect others. At the end of the day we are all in the same position and we all should do our best to leave things better than how we found them.

[owhereartthoudanny]

Love and love languages.

Everyone has different ways of expressing their feelings and expressing love for people. There isn’t a wrong way of doing it. Some show theirs through word, through actions, or whatever else there might be.

I have known my partner for ten years. While we didn’t start dating until recent I have always felt I understood what their love language is. I’ve also respected them for being who they are and I love everything about them. They are a baddie. Literally.

They asked me if I felt they gave enough compliments to me. While I don’t think they have said anything about my appearance off the top of my head or given compliments, I don’t feel it’s negatively affecting me or my feelings for them. I know that they love me and do find me attractive, or they wouldn’t be with me right? That’s kind of how it works, you need to find some physical attraction to someone else before considering a relationship.

But it threw me off being asked if I felt they compliment me enough. So I told them my opinion. I told them I don’t know if they do or not and to me them complimenting me isn’t what matters. To me what matters isn’t the compliments, or telling me that they love me all the time. I know they love me because they tell me about their problems, they trust me to tell me how they feel and they are willing to open up about the things that bother them.

That to me speaks louder than telling me I’m attractive or hot or anything else. To me it’s about the trust. It’s about making sure that they are safe and happy.

What truly upsets me isn’t the fact that they asked this it’s the reason why they did. I’m not going to go into full details because that’s not my story to give. But ultimately they’re poly. They had two other partners as well as me. When they broke up with them the now ex partners had made a comment about how she doesn’t give compliments and it was dwelling on them.

The conversation between us ended with “I know my worth and I know your love language. I’m not worried about you complimenting me because I know you love me. That’s all I need.”

My partner replied with basically “well the warranty has expired so you can’t trade me in anyways.”

Like I would trade this bad bitch in for something else. If Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange wouldn’t trade in a baddie like Clea why would I trade in a baddie like my partner?

[owhereartthoudanny]

Im queer both with gender and sexuality. I use they/he/it pronouns.

There are many things in the lgbt community that I love but also there are some things I hate too.

One of my biggest issues with the community is the hate towards bisexual people and polyamory relationships. I preach love and acceptance, and so does the LGBT community. But one thing that they do so frequently is hate on bisexuality and how many people see the bisexuals as just that they are confused.

I’ve talked about my partner a couple of times. My partner is also queer in more ways than one. Its gender is “whatever is most convenient for the bit” and I love that mindset that they have.

But because I’m more masculine presenting and my partner is more feminine I fear that we can easily be mistaken for a straight couple. Not because being straight is bad, because it’s not, it’s more because the same mindset of “you’re betraying your own community” can be applied to us.

That “you’re betraying the lesbians/gay/ect” is such a weird mindset to have too. Like sexuality, it’s not always a black and white thing. And for some it is! Thats okay.

I think that this is a long winded way of just saying be kinder towards each other. Sow what you preach because so many people say that they are accepting but also treat people so horribly.

You should love yourself and fellow humans. No matter their gender, race, religion, or sexuality. We are all living the same human experience. We are all just overly intelligent apes that just got too smart for their own good.

[owhereartthoudanny]

If you feel like your value is less than what you truly are worth, take a moment to stop and think. You are worth more than you think. You are more than what someone has told you that you are. Do not allow someone else to tell you that your value is less than what your value is really.

[remanence-of-love]

[owhereartthoudanny]

I’m not a parent but like I’ve been a child, I know the effects that my parents have had on me in my life. I have young siblings who I’ve helped take care of since they were born so while I don’t have kids I do have some idea of how to parent a child. I think what people coin as gentle parenting is important but people assume that it’s one thing when really it’s another. So id like to break down the forms of parenting.

There are four types of parenting styles

1. Authoritarian: uses the mindset of “because I said so” (parent driven)

2. Authoritative: uses the mindset of “let’s discuss this”

3. Uninvolved: uses the mindset of “I really dont care”

4. Permissive: uses the mindset of “whatever you want” (child driven)

Most people would assume the permissive approach is what gentle parenting is. They assume this because as a permissive child you’d show signs of indulging, leniency, few rules, and avoiding conflict.

Gentle parenting would really fall under the Authoritative category because it uses the mindset of: assertive but flexible. (There are other things as well but I feel those are two key elements)

The biggest thing with authoritative is that it has high expectations but clear standards. This is also important to note. Where are all other styles rules with high or no expectations.

“But Danny, what do you mean there are no rules with authoritative partnering?”

Well, there are rules but it falls more under the expectations and standards. I say this because with this parenting style you aren’t treating the child like they are nothing but rather you’re treating them like a little human being because that’s what they are.

I personally hate the mindset of “kids now a days wouldn’t survive when I was growing up, they’re too soft”

Are they though? I think really that’s the problem here. Because people are trying to show more compassion compared to what they grew up with they don’t want to trauma a small person. I think showing more compassion to a child can help them greatly and maybe society too.

I also see nothing wrong with showing love and respect for a child especially if more people do it. Maybe if we stopped hitting kids, yes spanking is hitting, they could turn out to be great people.

I mean really think about it. Spanking is kind of cruel and a form of abuse. They are new to life, they don’t know why they are getting spanked or what they did wrong. Would you go up to a random stranger and spank them? No because that would be assault. So why is it any different when you spank a child?

Stop being authoritarian towards your children and treating them like they aren’t just small humans because they are.

[owhereartthoudanny]

Masking: a form of suppressing your truest emotions, personality, neurodivergent traits in order to fix in and avoid judgement and meet social expectations. This can be a trauma response as well from being told you are too much to handle.

Why is masking bad? It can lead to burnout and mental health problems worsening. Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected as well, and not be able to get the best of support. You can also not be able to know who you are deep down.

Masking is an easy thing to learn but unmasking is a hard process. It’s not linear and it takes time. Your process of unmasking will look different compared to mine.

When learning how to unmask for me I have taken time to learn that people aren’t going to like me and come to accept that this is my life. People aren’t going to always like who I am, and they might find me to be too much to deal with. I have learned that it’s okay if they don’t and I’m not trying to please others.

Learning that you aren’t here on this earth to please others is the greatest stepping stone or at least it has been for me. I have told myself many times “just because one person doesn’t like you doesn’t mean everyone doesn’t like you.” Even when you think you nailed it, I promise you there are times I’ve still had to remind myself that I’m not here to make others happy and I have to make myself happy.

If you have questions about unmasking I’ll be happy to answer what I have been doing to learn unmasking. But this is a long post already so I don’t want to overwhelm people. But key thing: learn how to accept yourself first.

[owhereartthoudanny]

Just because something might be damaged or broken doesn’t mean it’s automatically unsalvageable. It just means it needs time and patience to repair and fix it.

It might not be the same as it once was, it might have cracks and noticeable patches. But just because it does, doesn’t mean it’s not of worth and value.

So, do not allow yourself to think you are ever damaged beyond repair or you’re not worth the time and effort to fix. You will still show your patchwork and you will not be the same person you once were. But that is okay, because you are of value and worth more than you can imagine. You just need to see that for yourself.

[owhereartthoudanny]

It’s not impossible to love yourself, it is a hard task and thing to do but it is possible it just takes time and patience to change your mindset. And even then, even when you’re able to love yourself you do have days that feel difficult to accomplish even a little bit of self love. Just remember that it is a gift and it is possible to accomplish.

And if you struggle to love yourself, just know that I’ll love you until you are able to love yourself.

[owhereartthoudanny]

So I am autistic. One thing I’m learning to do is unmask, will be making a post about unmasking. It’s helped a lot with some of my mental health, and a big part of my healing journey. Has it cured my depression? No. But it has helped me to be able to express myself in my truest of ways.

I say this because sometimes I like to message my partner the most ridiculous things I can think of. Just purely for goofs and gaffs. I also like to see their reactions about the things that I say, all in good fun and never malicious.

I sent them “I like your face. It’s a good face. Got good face holes” I then followed it up with “it’s a cute face. Imma keep it thanks. <3”

Well this morning they sent me a message saying “you sound like the face stealing guy from atla”

😂 I guess my new task is to be Koh the Face Stealer?

[remanence-of-love]

[owhereartthoudanny]

It’s important to allow a river to flow. It allows biodiversity and allows things to grow, it also helps prevent risk of floods. Much like a river it too is important to let your emotions flow.

If you dam up your emotions there is no way things can grow and change. But if you allow yourself to feel your emotions and feel your feelings, you can get to a better place in life.

It’s okay to be angry or sad or happy but don’t allow yourself to be consumed by them and force yourself to be only happy. Breathe in and hold on for as long as you need, just remember to breathe out again and let everything wash over you once more.

[remanence-of-love]

[sunsetandfun]

This.....

[dinosaurwithablog]

Always... 🫂🫂❤️❤️💯💥✨️💫🕊🐦‍🔥

[owhereartthoudanny]

The one thing I really strive for in life is to be much like uncle Iroh. He shows that compassion and love does great things. He also teaches us that there’s more to life than what meets the eye.

[owhereartthoudanny]

Oof—yikes— uhhh hmmm if you support ai art then this page is not for you… I think— I think you missed the point of my post pal. While I stand by what I said this is more of a pendulum swinging the other way kind of thing?

If you post ai art just know it is stealing art from other artists who have taken years of practicing to create something. They use images to create it. I will forever support artists who actually created their own artwork over someone who shoved a prompt into an artificial intelligence machine to create something.

I like computers but something created by hand has more value than something created by machine… yikes—

[owhereartthoudanny]

It’s okay to have your own opinions, it’s okay to not agree with someone or even something. What’s not okay is using your opinions and beliefs to negatively impact others.