#parenting styles

[nemfrog]

Don't dope your baby. Household discoveries. 1913.

Internet Archive (book uploaded there by Melissa D.)

[tuna-jsgross]

Harvey revealing his secrets (positive parenting lmao)

[fightingmongoose]

Sincaraz Approaches to Child Discipline

Carlos: If you stay in time out corner the whole time - you get TWO cookies after. Sì?

Jannik: Because you don’t behave - Sparkles run away to the top of mountain *proceeds to put unicorn plushie on highest shelf of closet* Maybe if you act right, Sparkles will come back. But he is too sad now :(

[saiyanmazen]

Parenting styles in Dragon Ball Z (and Super)

You know, to me, the interesting thing about this scene (and the one where they could to the aforementioned park) isn't the fact that Vegeta keeps his promise.

It's the fact that he uses positive reinforcement to motivate Trunks.

Do you think Vegeta was ever rewarded for landing a good hit? Definitely not. It was expected of him.

As an expert in children's development, I find it fascinating to look at this example of Vegeta parenting Trunks and what it says about his parenting style. I've seen headcanons that go from calling 'Dadgeta' authoritarian to neglectful, but I disagree.

In the following, I will briefly describe the four styles of parenting with focus on the authoritarian and the authoritative styles. I'll also compare them to how DBZ parents appear to raise their children, but mainly focus on Vegeta.

Authoritarian:

This is the old school parenting method where restrictions and punishments go hand in hand. The parents expect the children to obey rules without a clear explanation as to why and corporal punishment is used when the children overstep.

Unsurprisingly, it seems like a lot of people believe this is how Vegeta raises his children (If he is even involved; I'll address this later on.) It was likely how he was raised.

However, the only parent we actually see using this style is Chichi. She's not entirely unreasonable, but we do see her expect things from Gohan without explanations and she has a lot of restrictions set up. This might have something to do with Goku's parenting style, but more on that later.

Piccolo also uses authoritarianism with Gohan, but he isn't trying to parent him, just train him.

What's really interesting is that children raised in a household practicing authoritarianism tend to hold a lot of anger inside. They also have low self-efficacy and high self blame. Remind you of someone?

Indulgent

Here we see nurturing, accepting parents who don't have behavioral expectations of their children. They are responsive to the children's needs and wishes, but do not expect them to be the same toward other people. The parents want to be the child's friend rather than a demanding parent.

Children of indulgent parents tend to grow up without a sense of others' boundaries and generally have less discipline than their peers. They lack impulse control and are often irresponsible.

In DBZ we do see signs of this parenting style, but only limited. It's not commonly used in Asia and therefore, Toriyama didn't add it. In GT it's obvious that both Trunks and Bulla seem have been parenting this way by Bulma. It's also why many doubt that Vegeta has been much involved.

It's also easy to argue that Goku parents this way, although it's up for discussion.

Neglectful

Although many think that the indulgent parenting style have created a generation of undisciplined young people, the neglectful parenting style has actually had a greater effect.

The parents are either more interested in themselves and their own goals than their children's. (Although sometimes it's because the parents struggle with stress or depression) Children of these parents are usually lonely and melancholic, often have very low self esteem and are needy after affection and approval. This leads them to be easily manipulated and they are at a higher risk to end up in abusive relationships.

I think many of the Vegeta antis and those claiming Goku is a bad parent would place the two Saiyans here.

However, Goku is clearly involved in Gohan's upbringing, albeit choosing a more casual approach than Chichi, and returns after being dead for seven years, ready to be involved with Goten (and Gohan if he wants it). The reason that Goku mainly focuses on training isn't just because it's his own interest. It's what he knows for sure how to do.

Most importantly: it was how Goku was raised himself. First by Grandpa Gohan and later from his other father figure, Master Roshi. It isn't just in his blood; it's in his upbringing.

And then there's Vegeta’s parenting style which was my main focus for this post. It got a little out of control, but we have finally arrived at the last parenting style:

Authoritative

This is the most modern parenting style, even though it isn't really new. It's been used for years in well functioning familes. This type of parent is both demanding and nurturing, being present and engaged in their children's lives. They explain things to their children, teach them how to regulate their feelings and therefore expect a mature behavior from them.

Children of authoritative parents tend to be more successful in their adult lives, capable of discipline and well-liked. Because they aren't constantly being restricted, they naturally develope autonomy within set boundaries and learn to respect others, regardless of authority.

So, what does this have to do with Vegeta and Trunks?

As I mentioned in the beginning, in the scene in the Gravity Chamber, Vegeta uses positive reinforcement to motive Trunks. Positive reinforcement has proven to be a healthy way to motivate children (and animals) and is a part of the authoritative style. By using it, Vegeta provides Trunks with rules that foster motivation and discipline in the child. The fact that Vegeta knows about the amusement and can use it as an incentive also shows that he is involved enough to know what may get Trunks to do his best.

But the most important thing we see is that Vegeta upholds his promise, despite hating every second of it. It shows that he respects Trunks' efforts and achievement. By honoring his word, he also teaches Trunks to do the same.

Of course, this is a small scene and we don't know how Vegeta behaves otherwise in regards to Trunks. But it's safe to say that Vegeta does take his son's wishes into account and uses it to encourage him to move beyond his limits.

I admit that I'm not a fan of GT and don't consider it canon, especially because of Toriyama's lack of involvement. So, while I dislike many aspects of DBS, I do think it's the best representation of the characters.

In Super, both Goten and Trunks are well adjusted boys who both have discipline and test the boundaries of their autonomy. They act like boys their age, albeit with incredibly strength, and it goes to show that their parents have raised them well.

Of course, it's also important to remember that both DBZ and DBS (and even GT) are a product of their time and the parenting styles reflect that. DBZ is from the 80's where the authoritarian (Chichi) and indulgent (Goku) styles were the most common. GT is from the 90's where the media started to focus on indulgent and neglectful parents - even though it wasn't a new thing - and it's shown that Trunks, Bulla and Goten have grown up as spoiled and undisciplined. DBS shows that the parents in the show have become authoritative and their children's behavior reflects that.

It's clear that the parents are doing their best and that the fathers have become more involved nowadays than before. This is the case in modern parenting as well.

Anyway, this is the end of my long rant. I think, as both an expert in children's development and as a parent myself, it's interesting to look into the relationships between the characters, especially the father-son interactions which are explored the most. There's no doubt that Toriyama knew the importance of being a father and wanted to portray it, mainly in Goku and Gohan's relationship.

I don't think Toriyama saw Goku nor Vegeta as bad fathers, but he knew that everyone has different strengths, even in parenthood.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Parenting Styles

What can parents do to nurture a healthy self-concept?

Diana Baumrind (1971, 1991) thinks parenting style may be a factor.

The way we parent is an important factor in a child’s socioemotional growth.

Baumrind developed and refined a theory describing parenting styles based on 2 aspects of parenting that are found to be extremely important:

Parental responsiveness, which refers to the degree the parent responds to the child’s needs.

Parental demandingness, is the extent to which the parent expects more mature and responsible behavior from a child.

Using these two dimensions, she recognized 3 different parenting styles:

Authoritarian (Too Hard)

The authoritarian parenting style is characterized by high demandingness with low responsiveness.

The authoritarian parent is rigid, harsh, and demanding.

Abusive parents usually fall in this category (although Baumrind is careful to emphasize that not all authoritarian parents are abusive).

Permissive (Too Soft)

This parenting style is characterized by low demandingness with high responsiveness.

The permissive parent is overly responsive to the child’s demands, seldom enforcing consistent rules.

The “spoiled” child often has permissive parents.

Authoritative (Just Right)

This parenting style is characterized by high demandingness with huge responsiveness.

The authoritative parent is firm but not rigid, willing to make an exception when the situation warrants.

The authoritative parent is responsive to the child’s needs but not indulgent.

Baumrind makes it clear that she favors the authoritative style.

Comparison of 4 parenting styles

PARENTING STYLES & CULTURE

Authoritative Style

Of the 4 parenting styles, the authoritative style is the one that is most encouraged in modern American society.

American children raised by authoritative parents tend to have high self-esteem and social skills; however, effective parenting styles vary as a function of culture and, as Small (1999) points out, the authoritative style is NOT necessarily preferred or appropriate in all cultures.

Authoritarian Style

In contrast to the authoritative style, authoritarian parents probably would not relax bedtime rules during a vacation because they consider the rules to be set, and they expect obedience:

This style can create anxious, withdrawn, and unhappy kids.

It is important to point out that authoritarian parenting is as beneficial as the authoritative style in some ethnic groups (Russell, Crockett, & Chao, 2010).

Example: First-generation Chinese American children raised by authoritarian parents did just as well in school as their peers who were raised by authoritative parents (Russell et al., 2010).

Permissive Style

Not surprisingly, children raised by permissive parents tend to lack self-discipline, and the permissive parenting style is negatively associated with grades (Dornbusch, Ritter, Leiderman, Roberts, & Fraleigh, 1987).

The permissive style may also contribute to other risky behaviors such as alcohol abuse (Bahr & Hoffman, 2010), risky sexual behavior especially among female children (Donenberg, Wilson, Emerson, & Bryant, 2002), and increased display of disruptive behaviors by male children (Parent et al., 2011).

There are some positive outcomes associated with children raised by permissive parents. They tend to have higher self- esteem, better social skills, and report lower levels of depression (Darling, 1999).

Source ⚜ Writing Notes & References

[the-wanderer]

[tookishcombeferre]

Royal Magic: Emotional Regulation and Gentle Parenting Or Possible Future Episode Theories??

So, I’m not sure how many folks have seen split episode shows - which is the format Royal Magic is going to use - where each “episode” is ~ 11 minutes long but they join two of them together in an ~25 a minute block.

However, I have seen *many* shows in this format.

And, they're actually really interesting.

I know some folks are concerned that they promote shorter attention spans in kids or that they might not carry the same emotional weight as a 25 minute long episode. But ... meh ... I don't know if that's true?

For people concerned about emotional weight, I'd encourage you to watch Bluey. Those episodes are only 8 minutes, and they are (almost) all of them emotional sucker punches.

Also, I am so guilty as charged of using episodes of shows to help us transition from activity to activity.

"You get to watch 1 Sofia before we leave for 'x'"

"We can watch 1 Doc McStuffins before 'y.'"

"We're watching this specific 1/2 episode of Fancy Nancy before 'z.'"

The nice thing about the 11 minute long split episodes, from a parenting perspective, is that I can split the episode in 1/2 and not leave Squish with an unfinished plot. So, it makes for a smoother transition.

I have the benefit of older shows with longer plots as well as I having newer shows with shorter ones. I take full advantage of that for days when I need it: sick days, longer transitions, painting music, background noise, etc.

However, the actual plot structure and HOW those shorter episodes work from a writing perspective is also really interesting.

The two episodes often have a unifying theme of sorts.

This could be, but is not limited to: a unifying concept being explored from two different plot angles involving two different characters, a single side character experiencing major growth through two different major events, or a main character learning some kind of unifying lesson through two different events.

(I see this a lot in Wonderland Bakery, Fancy Nancy, as well as the later seasons of Doc McStuffins - this is mostly because things in Doc McStuffins become more plot focused in the later seasons so it has more opportunity to explore unifying themes across the 2, 11 minute episodes. I love all of these shows by the way!)

However, as I was mulling some things over, and remembering this is the format Royal Magic would use, I began to think about a particular single 11 minute episode of “Fancy Nancy” that my spouse and I just adored.

I thought it could work really well as the foundation for the theme of 2 of the 11 minute episodes in that 25 minute block.

Fancy Nancy: Episode Summary

First, I’ll give you a quick summary of the episode in question from “Fancy Nancy.”

(Which, I’m not going to lie, has some of the most wholesome adult characters in it of all time. This 1/2 episode, 1/2 episodes being what we call the "11 minute episodes" to Squish, involves one of my favorite recurring adult characters Mrs. Divine.

Lord, I love that woman. I swear she has to be bi. She for sure had a fling with one of the other models in her industry at one point in the 70s. [My spouse just said: she's pan but doesn't know what that word means.] She’s an icon, and I love her. Protect her at all costs. No idea which of the delightful old people in her life I ship her with most, but there are two. Well, two I’m consistent with at least.

Gus the Mailman - her current ballroom dance partner, whose baritone she loves for caroling. AKA - they’re besties.

OR

Nancy’s Grandpa - her former ballroom dance rival turned friend through their mutual love for Nancy as well as discovering they have shared hobbies.

It all depends on how much you like the enemies to friends to lovers trope.

But, I digress.

And, before you pass judgement, I don’t have time or money for cable!!!! So, I make my own MIND cable using the old people! It's no different than a soap opera.)

However, the reason I mention all that is because Mrs. Divine is a widow.

And, in one of the episodes, the kids all want to involve her in a project of some kind, and Mrs. Divine is normally their like go-to adult for crazy projects. She’s super organized. She’s always down to make stuff. She’s kinda sorta like the Baileywick of their neighborhood - the somewhat questionably queer-coded, organizationally driven, and "fancy" bordering on stuffy (but in a nice way) adult.

Well, when they go to see Mrs. Divine, she’s not really “in the mood” to work with them or do the crazy fancy projects she usually would.

In fact, she seems kind of sad.

Well, the kids decide they can’t have that. So, they spend the day trying to “fix” her sadness.

It turns out that the day they wanted to “fix her sadness” was the day of her late husband’s birthday.

At the end of the episode, she explains that, while she appreciates the gestures of trying to cheer her up, she just wants to “do all the fun things they [she and the husband that passed] used to do together” and make space for her feelings - alone. She doesn’t want or need her feelings “solved.”

It’s an incredibly powerful episode that tackles grief really well because it shows the lasting impact of loss.

It doesn’t matter how long ago the loss happened - it can still be fresh, and it can still be hard.

100/10 recommend, even if you just watch that 11 minute episode.

A Two Episode Thematic Block About “Solving Emotions," Misunderstandings, and Gentle Parenting ... The Real Thing Not Whatever TikTok Tries to Sell You

In my observation, and I might take flack for this, if Sofia has a Hamartia (tragic flaw), it's her inability to be helped and to stop helping others.

Don’t get me wrong! Her desire to help other people is a powerful tool, and she’s a great character because of her desire to help other people.

However, I was watching the "Camp Wilderwood" episode, and I noticed Amber points out that Sofia "spends so much time making sure she and James have a good time that Sofia forgot to make sure she was having fun."

And, I think Amber makes a fantastic point! (Again, why Amber will always be one of my favorite characters.)

Thus, while I don't think there needs to be any like major address of burnout or anything like that, I do think it could be interesting to really tuck deeper into what Amber was getting at in this moment in "Camp Wilderwood."

What I Love About The OG Series:

In the Original Series, it's pretty clear that Sofia' desire to shoulder responsibility comes from within her. Her need to solve things on her own, to try to communicate problems through back door solutions instead of through direct communication, and/ or to “fix the unfixable” both drives the plot and gets her into trouble.

How much better could people have prepared if they knew about Prisma to begin with?

How much better could they have been prepared for a cosmic level threat if they knew Sofia had been in contact with the Mystic Isles and the Protectors?

In the end, her friends, mentors, and family rally around her as we, the audience, always knew they would. But, Sofia's need to protect them came from inside her. (And, I suppose to a greater or lesser extent from the duties of her job as Protector ... but again ... why, if not a part from her own internal sense of duty, did she even take that job?? But, I digress.)

However, what I like most about Sofia’s story is that her people - the people in her innermost circle - don’t hold that expectation for her. It’s often calmly communicated to her that she’s not expected to take on more than she can handle. Her choices should be her own. However, her support people are there for her no matter what choices she chooses to make.

They're not going to stop her from doing what she feels is right but, if she needs them, they'll be there to give her a hand up.

Behind the four walls in which she lives, there is a symbiotic exchange of protection, wisdom, knowledge, and whimsy.

The pressures to perform, if there are any, are internal from Sofia herself and/or from sources outside the folks she lives with directly.

And, without being overbearing or overprotective, it is communicated with love from her siblings, parents, staff, and guardians that she has a place to lean if she needs it, that they desire her safety above anything, and that they want her decisions to be informed and, thus, her own.

Yet, due to Sofia's personality, in many ways, I could see her making similar “mistakes” to Nancy in the episode with Mrs. Divine- though through quieter means because Sofia is a quieter character.

I do think there’s space to write an 11 minute episode with a similar plot to the one about Mrs. Divine - except to bring things closer to home and write about Roland.

11 Minute Episode 1: Let's Talk About Parenting and Having BIG FEELINGS, 'Cause It Happens

Canon establishes that both Sofia’s parents have experienced loss. So, truly, this episode could center either of her parents, but I think it would be more interesting to explore loss & grief from the perspective of the masculine parent.

(Besides, she has also been living with him for far less time than she has Miranda. Additionally, the time Sofia has been there she has been running several quests of her own. So, it would be interesting to see something more domestic involving those characters now that she knows what she does from her tasks as StoryKeeper/ Protector? Additionally, this would be a way to reintroduce the lore that was established in the original series to the new audience without needing to use those old arcs.)

I’m not sure exactly how you’d set the episode up.

However, I do think you could run with a similar premise as what is set in the episode of Fancy Nancy without it feeling as though you were rehashing the same exact plot.

The reason?

Mrs. Divine is not Nancy's parent.

By making Roland the focus of the episode, and Sofia's "fixing" centering on him, you're focusing a few important things:

1. Parents have feelings, but their kids do not bear the responsibility to fix those feelings.

I have a disability and a mental illness. My kid has seen me at my best and my worst.

That's just life.

However, things work when we lean in as a unit on one another.

It doesn't *fix* the disability - it's still disabling. No amount of love is going to make the pain of loud noises go away. No number of hugs is going to help me remember when dirty laundry is in the washer. No number of cuddles is going to stop me from getting triggered into a manic episode when it happens.

That's life.

But, it's how you choose to explain life and tackle it that makes the difference.

If you hide your feelings? If you pretend you don't have any?

Your kids learn to hide them from you and everyone else.

However, if you explain your feelings, if you explain, to the best of your ability what's going on?

That's when they learn emotional regulation and emotional honesty with people around them. Obviously, you put in language they can understand and you're not graphic about it. But, hiding it teaches them suppression, honesty teaches them *how* to be honest.

(When the mental illness hits, Spouse Unit and I call it the "brain monster" and explain that I just "need space to fight it." - That's what works for us.)

I'm clear with Squish, even though they may not understand this part yet, that these are my battles. I don't expect them to fight them for me. And just them being a part of my life is enough to help make me stronger.

I'm setting that foundation for them.

However, I think that foundation of "you being a part of my life is enough" so "you don't have to fight my battles for me" could work really well as the punchline of this 11 minute segment.

2. Parents are not just "parents." We're people.

Lord. The number of people IRL who have looked at me and decided I suddenly became a fountain of all knowing wisdom because I had a child?

So many.

Like, everything became about how cute my kid was, how amazing my kid was, and how my kid was my entire personality - and my kid is great, don't get me wrong.

But, like, I had/ still try to have a whole life outside of my kid.

Still, I fondly look back on the dude who used to be a scholar.

Like, a real scholar, who spent ages in the library just pouring over books, learning everything there was to know about niche bits of literature, psychology, sociology, and history. I miss writing papers about it. I miss staying up late into the night trying to decide where to put pieces of punctuation, or which sentence sounded best in which part of the paragraph to best make my argument. - Mostly, I miss the person who had space and time to think that way.

I miss having the time to study.

I miss having time to ponder the universe, and star gaze, and do all sorts of things.

But, at the same time, I wouldn't trade what I have now for any amount of that?

And, that's the weirdest dichotomy to sit in.

You see that in both Roland and Miranda: The feeling of "I was a person who had a trade/ interests/ studied things at depth once please let me talk about it!" in their bids for connection with their children.

I think an episode like this opens the opportunity to highlight an additional side of a parent's humanity.

Because, we also grieve.

3. Letting kids into the emotional space is not bad parenting.

I think the lie that TikTok sells about "Gentle Parenting" is that it's about being perfectly serene as your kid beats you over the head with a toy and being like "Please, child. Do not beat me with that toy. I love you so much. You're perfect."

It's absolutely not that.

Gentle parenting sounds like this:

Me: "Hey! Calista ..."

Squish: *giggling* "I Calista!!! I take THIS!"

Me: "Yeah. Mmmm ... You know exactly what you did then. Get back over here with 'x object that has been pilfered from my closet.'"

Squish: "But, I don't want to!"

Me: "If I have to come get it, you will lose/ have to do 'age appropriate logical consequence for action.'"

Squish: *thinking noises* "But, I CALISTA!"

Me: "Yeah! And, you know exactly how that one ends. Now, get over here."

Squish: *more thinking noises* "Okay ... here go."

Me: "Thank you. Better choice."

Part of what makes "Gentle Parenting" work is building rapport and connection with your kid.

When my kid takes crap, which does happen a lot right now, I help them draw the connection between consequences by using something they both like and understand.

The same thing comes with letting kids into emotional spaces in an age appropriate way.

Case. Point.

Squish and I tried to paint pumpkins together the other day.

I've been painting for ... gosh ... I don't even know how long. It's not something I do very seriously, but it's been my hobby for ages. Maybe since I was my kids' age? So, like as a toddler?

Anyway, Squish was in rare form. Not listening. Just wild.

And, at one point, we had to go inside and wash something because acrylics stain like mad.

So, I'm soaking clothes in the sink. I'm sopping wet. And, I'm trying to explain that if this continues logic dictates that we're done and not painting anymore.

Welp. I must have come off a little more biting than I intended because Squish looks up at me and asks: "What's wrong? Why you mad?"

And, I run my hands through my hair, and I explain: "I'm not mad. Sorry if I sounded loud or snappy though, my bad. However, I am flustered. The paint you're flinging stains. So, now I'm soaked because I had to try to wash the stains out of my pants. Thankfully my sweatshirt I could take off. I just need you to stop throwing paint, or we're coming inside. You got one last chance. Got it? Got it?"

Rest of the afternoon was perfect.

Never underestimate the power of a good reset.

What parents are so often told is that there is no room for us to have emotions (especially those like anger or sadness) around or near our children.

No. Delete that and let it die.

It's about what you do with those feelings that make the difference.

Sometimes even reactive emotions to behavior, such as when kids try to lift heavy objects they shouldn't or things of that nature, can actually be necessary for safety.

However, most of the time, all feelings can be used as teachable moments. The struggles we have can be used to let our kids into learning how to manage their feelings.

Yet, if we don't name frustrations, anger, sadness, grief, and such feelings as feelings we have, as parents, kids don't learn how to manage them.

A lot of Gentle Parenting shows parents who explain things almost robotically.

Which, leads to an even bigger part of Gentle Parenting: apologizing in a way your child can understand when you do lose it.

(Because, y'all you will lose it. You're human. Expecting yourself to stop being human? Not happening.)

So, there are lots of interesting places - given this premise and this bullet - I could see this episode going.

Do we see Sofia learning what is really helpful from another adult in her life?

Do we get Roland explaining what he feels to her in an age appropriate way so that she can share in that place, but also begin to understand that she doesn't have to fix his life?

Do we get a misunderstanding between them due to Sofia overstepping a boundary? (Because, newsflash, even parents have and are allowed to have them.)

I don't know, but I'd be interested in whatever plotline the creators would be willing to explore within this territory.

11 Minute Episode 2: Anxiety and Letting Go - I Can Feel Sad/ Anxious About Something & Let You Do It Anyway

One of the arcs I would be interested in seeing either in tandem with Roland's, because it's thematically similar, or in general, is exploring something else parent's go through:

The struggle between knowing it's time to let your kid move into the next milestone because they are ready & also wanting to hang onto your kid.

In a parent's mind, I know because I've done this, the parent has already made the choice to do the letting go.

"Doesn't matter if it's a few hours of preschool or sending your kid to college, it's still hard. Even if you know it's the right choice."

That's what my mom once told me when I left for college and again recently.

I don't want to lose Miranda to the overbearing Mom trope. However, I do think there would be something beautiful about seeing her sit with the feelings she has about the choice she has already made in her heart - to let go.

Because, if I've said it once I'll say it a million times, feelings and logic do not always get along.

You can know, logically, that something is the correct choice or thing to do, but the actual execution of it can feel difficult.

There have been similar songs/ moments like this in media before.

The song "The Prayer" was featured in the movie Quest For Camelot in which a mother sends her young daughter off from their homestead into an enchanted/ haunted woods to warn Merlin and King Arthur of an impending invasion.

Her daughter, previously, was hoping for adventure, and her mother didn't want to give it to her. Yet, in the moment in which it matters most, and in which there is arguably the most real danger, the girl's mother concedes and sends her daughter on an adventure to save them.

What I'd love even more, for Miranda, is if something could be written about a choice that has been made for a long time.

Miranda was never going to say no to Sofia's desire for adventure, for magic, or for anything.

She just wants to keep being a part of it. She just wants to know and understand. And, I think, at Miranda's core, her hope is just that Sofia understands what she's getting into so she can make a fully informed choice.

I think this is the difference between a parent that is overbearing vs. a parent that is involved/protective vs. a parent that could border on negligent.

Overbearing parents are sort of those "classic" Disney parents - Triton, the Sultan, etc.

Miranda, to me, shares a lot in common with Maurice from Beauty and the Beast.

She and Sofia are partners in craft, like Belle and Maurice are shown to be.

They're single parents in a small village to bright, kind, caring, compassionate, and adventurous daughters.

Miranda is logical and wise, though a bit quirky.

Both children are deeply devoted to them.

(Secretly, I think this why she gets on so well with the staff. I also like to think Miranda makes Mme Colette chuckle because of this.)

When arguing for Belle not staying in Beast's castle on his behalf, Maurice provides Belle a logical counter argument.

Still, Maurice allows her to stay. He doesn't force her to go home.

However, when Maurice decides to go back for Belle, he does so ONLY because he knows it's literally not safe.

Therefore, in the end, when Belle can prove that the Beast is safe, Maurice once more allows Belle full and complete autonomy (and even goes with to help her out.)

This is in stark contrast to a character like Triton who destroys Ariel's collection of human gadgets and forces her to remain with him under the sea. He does this without realizing that this paves the way for her rebellion later.

Thus, what I think could be interesting, is to see this struggle between that pre-made decision to be "the guide on the side" and what that actually entails.

Yet, these are the things we do as parents AFTER THE CHILD LEAVES.

But, I think there's a beauty in allowing a moment in Sofia the First, by giving Miranda a solo, in an aside, that's for the parents. (As sometimes happens with episodes of Bluey.)

I'd love to see Miranda get a song, after Sofia has left the room, about the feeling of "letting go." She now has to sit with a huge palace that feels empty. She's used to smaller spaces, and as her kids grow, things are more and more quiet. And, she's not used to that quiet.

Still, Miranda knows exactly what she is going to do, she knows what she has to do, but does it have to come now?

The first time I dropped Squish off at preschool I made plans to meet my cousin and my "niece" at our favorite little cafe.

I walked in the cafe where we had met up so many times before and just lost it.

I knew exactly what Squish needed to flourish as a human. I wasn't going to take them out of school. I wasn't going to ask them to stop being happy.

I wasn't going to take away the magic.

But, it didn't mean I didn't still feel the anxiety, the loss, and the realization that they were growing up and older.

I think that's something Royal Magic could acknowledge - especially with Sofia being twelve and going off to a new school/ the twins going off and into new stages of their lives with new and different responsibilities.

Because, there is such a difference between saying "no" and being overprotective, and being allowed to feel the reality of your kids growing up.

And, I think, the way this plays out could be a few different ways:

Scenario 1: Either Sofia, already feeling insecure about something else, misinterprets Miranda's little "probing" thing that she often does to help Sofia make choices/ better understand her circumstances as Miranda trying to be overbearing and they have a misunderstanding. Not because of something Miranda has done, but because of something Sofia herself has misunderstood.

[We could bring Belle back here - fun princess moment to help with an "emotional" emergency?]

Scenario 2: Miranda tries to distance herself from Sofia in an effort to give her space to make choices, and Sofia, noticing a distinct lack of Miranda just kind of around, shows her she's still needed by inviting Miranda into her world.

(Bonus points if Baileywick, or some other staff member, helps with things in either scenario. OOO ... could we get a Mme Colette or Gwen subplot?? I love them!)

3. Give Miranda a "mom friend" or "friends." Let Lucinda's mom, Marla, Helen (Ruby's Mom), and maybe some new mom's get together to share feelings?

[Doubt this will happen because it's FAR too parent focused, but it'd be cool to see nonetheless.]

[THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN: We've established that Helen has Mystic Meadows connections, let my girl Winifred lead the mom support group and give ancient motherly wisdom? I've said many times, Winifred reminds me of my own mother. I'd love to see that chaos gremlin of a mother interact with, and potentially give advice to Miranda and the other moms. That would be so sweet ... in a really chaotic and funny sort of way. LOL.]

Personally, I like the first scenario, especially if you're going to block it thematically with Roland's episode, because it shows that Sofia is capable of not reading people's intentions and emotions perfectly.

Like, Sofia's fallible.

And, I think we're going to need episodes where Sofia is causing problems instead of fixing them?

I also like this because it shows how easy it is for young folks to misinterpret things & how easy it is for people to be misinterpreted when no one is really doing anything actively "wrong." Per se.

In the case of trying to assist Roland, Sofia is truly coming from a place of trying to BE helpful. She's not being helpful. But, she doesn't know that.

In the case of misunderstanding Miranda's desire to simply assist Sofia in making choices/ wanting to be included in her life, especially with the assistance of the possible solo as dramatic irony, such that the viewers understand her perspective/ that she's not coming in as controlling, we see a really natural and REAL miscommunication that happens a lot in the lives of kids and parents.

Then, both episodes are united by the common theme of Sofia misinterpreting emotions.

I don't think it's necessarily completely out of character for Sofia to misread a situation in the ways listed above either?

We've seen her misread situations before such as how her friends from the village will react to her switching to the Royal team in "A Tale of Two Teams," how people will react to the trolls' music in "Let the Good Times Troll," and even her interaction with Prince Hugo in "Lord of the Rink" shows that she's just not really getting **exactly why** he's concerned/ the depth of his concern about his father's approval. [Probably because it's not something she's experienced, but I digress.]

There are also probably other examples too, but those were the first three I thought of.

So, in a certain way, I think this would add some depth to Sofia's character while also allowing Roland and Miranda to go beyond being just sources of protection/ fountains of endless knowledge.

Personally, I think it would allow all three of those characters additional depth if episodes like this were to be created because it allows Sofia to struggle a little interpersonally in a more obvious way than we may have seen in the past as well as to see Roland and Miranda as having that more full human depth through their parental roles.

But, I feel like it's interesting to think of parents as part of the target demographic of the show, because in a certain way we are?

(Bluey was a really interesting phenomena to show how shows marketed towards both kids and their parents together do really well?)

However, I doubt that Sofia: Royal Magic will do that with every episode - because the first show didn't and they seem to want to keep the tones pretty similar.

That said, there are a handful of episodes across the seasons that DO hit in that place where both the kid audience and adult audience are meant to learn something together. Thus, an episode/ set of episodes like these wouldn't be impossible to conceive of.

Yet, I'm willing to admit that I don't know if any of this will/ could ever happen, at least not in S1, but I think it could be a really unique thing for the writers to explore at some point.

I'd be curious to hear what other people think of this?

Like it? Hate it?

Think I'm nuts?

I'm down to discuss.