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24 | heinz doofenshmirtz is my biological father // they them

[cal3ris]

is this gonna get me fired you think

[jewelcoatfish]

shane (a little tipsy) being cornered by a few fans at a bar one night and they ask him what’s the best thing about coming out, expecting him to say something motivating like self-expression and liberation and shane just goes

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

and the whole of non bigot hockey twt just fucking crash out and montreal metros and crowell gets burned at the stake

[toapoet]

These tags are my fave

[fixielixie]

ilya saying things that are blatantly untrue just to see shane’s cuteiful reaction where his big brown eyes go all wide and sparkle and he’s like “really? no way!” and then getting horny when his eyes get all betrayed and he furrows his eyebrows and pouts “fuck you ilya.”

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Fandom is so obsessed with contrasts in ships that they force them onto hollanov, a couple who are FAMOUSLY supposed to be similar. There is no slutty one and prudish one. They both love sex. There is no smart one and dumb one. They both excel at the same career where traditional metrics of academic intelligence don't apply. There is no jock and nerd. They are both professional athletes. There is no neatfreak and slob. They both pay other people to clean their houses. Please release yourself from the need to manufacture an opposites attract dynamic in every facet of their relationship, ESPECIALLY when the central conceit of hollanov as a couple is that they're more alike than everyone else seems to think.

[actuallysara]

ilya edging shane until he's crying and when he tells him to "use the magic words" to come, a delirious shane says "I love you" and ilya is the one who comes right away

[shanepervert]

ilya is literally sweetieful. even when he's being mean to shane he's being sweetieful because he's making him feel really good. many fail to recognize this but real ilyaheads know

[willgrahamscock]

any ship can be problematic because I have the heart and soul of a depraved pervert

[rainbow-femme]

Ok but headcanon that Shane is one of those people who will just write “Love, Shane” at the bottom of a card UNTIL he feels comfortable being vulnerable with that person, at which point he writes the most heartbreakingly sweet and earnest notes

And no one is ever ready for the switch, and even after it happens they can never fully prepare themselves for what they’re going to get. Shane has learned that when he’s going to do that he should take them aside to give them the card rather than in front of people

Once Shane feels comfortable with Hayden as a genuinely good friend in his birthday card that year he writes out a whole thing about how he’s always wanted a best friend like other kids had but never had one and had accepted he never would, and then Hayden came into his life and gave him a level of love and friendship he never thought he would get and he loves everything about Hayden and can’t wait to be by his side as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Hayden fully breaks down and loses it, Jackie notices they’ve been gone a while and walks into the kitchen to see Hayden hugging Shane and sobbing into his shoulder. She raises her eyebrows at Shane and Shane just gives her the OK sign and goes back to rubbing Hayden’s back

Ilya learns about the card thing when it’s yunas birthday and he notices her opening Shane’s card like she’s deactivating a bomb. She stares silently as she reads it and Ilya starts freaking out a little when she starts to tear up and then pulls Shane in for a long silent hug. He looks at it later and sees that Shane wrote about how the last year made him realize over again how lucky he is to have someone as strong and supportive as her as a mother and he hopes to one day be half the parent to his own kids as she was to him

When it’s their first time having Ilya’s birthday together he’s legitimately nervous because this is his first Shane Card and he doesn’t know what to expect and part of him is afraid he’s built it up too much in his head and Shane won’t have as nice things to say as he did with other people. And then he opens the envelope and there’s no card but instead multiple pieces of paper because Shane couldn’t fit it all into a limited space. Ilya spends the better part of the next hour walking around the house reading it, taking breaks occasionally to cry or hyperventilate before going back to reading it because holy shit does Shane Hollander love him. Like he knew logically that Shane did but now he’s got pages and pages of Shane walking him through his feelings over the last decade of their life and every moment he remembered and cherished. Shane finally catches up to him and he’s on the floor of the kitchen, face a splotchy red mess, chugging Gatorade because he’s dehydrated from crying

David texts later to ask how his first Shane Card was and he just sends a wall of crying emojis and David is like “LOL yup, the first Father’s Day he did that for me I had to take the week off work or else I would remember it and cry in my office”

[shaneposting]

anyway good morning a crucial tenet of hollanov’s relationship is that they’re equals and they’re the only people in the world who could ever be each other’s equal. they were supposed to stand alone at the top but they’re there together. shane does not view ilya as a lazy useless inconvenience. ilya does not view shane as a nagging killjoy. they are equals and they both think the other is the best thing since sliced bread and they love each other but more importantly they LIKE each other. stop making them not like each other!

[shaneposting]

like ilya spends his entire life being told (by people objectively shittier than he is) that he’s not good enough, he’s lazy, he’s undisciplined, he lets people down. and then he meets the one person who would actually be in a position to assess whether ilya is any of those things, and shane just earnestly looks into his fucking soul and says no, they were wrong. ‘you’re an awesome player to watch’ ‘i don’t know that side of you at all’ ‘this isn’t what this is. me and you’

and it’s such a fucking tragedy that people are trying to push MyIlya back into a setting where he’s constantly being lectured about his inadequacies by the very person that canonically reminds him all the time that those inadequacies were figments of his dad’s imagination

[hateusandseeifwemind]

The internet is a device which can be used to contact lesbians

[1eos]

[genderkoolaid]

in order to not succumb to sex negative conservatism you have to accept that people will get off to things that are upsetting to you. and you cannot assume anything about what they have or have not experienced, what they do or do not believe, and how they act based solely on what gets them off. even if it's extremely confusing and disturbing to you. there are people who have only ever had heterosexual vanilla sex in missionary with the lights off, who actively contribute to more real world harm than your average fetish artist. kink is not a reliable source of information on someone's moral standing. it just feels good to think that way.

[genderkoolaid]

#conflating sexuality with morality is purity culture working on such a small level we don’t even realize it sometimes

[genderkoolaid]

hey friends you know you can just reblog this post without commenting right. like the point of this post is about confronting sex negativity within yourself because it's dangerous to internalize. you don't need to add on your assurances that while you may tolerate sex freaks, you DEFINITELY aren't one!!!!!!!!!!! like it's not actually necessary. maybe be brave and just reblog a post about kink without immediately rushing to distance yourself from kinksters.

you also don't need to add on your passive aggressive comments about x situation in which someone used sex positivity to try and justify being an asshole. that's obviously not what this post is about. i frankly don't know what you want me to say about that.

[bipolar4autistic]

Heated Rivalry | Anna.haifisch | Molabuddy | Hudson Williams & Jacob Tierney

[freakoutgirl]

in many ways i am still my pretentious 14 year old self which is fine

[ahotknife]

I do get the sense that many who insist Ilya is not a dom (bc he can be needy about it? bc at times Shane appears to be steering the dynamic? bc he prioritizes Shane's pleasure?) simply do not have a wide range of experience with D/s dynamics. But this is to be expected from a fandom where an entire genre of fic relies on "subdrop" being virtually indistinguishable from omegaverse rejection sickness

the whole conversation is silly because prioritizing shane's pleasure (and consent) is like one of the biggest parts of ilya's role as his dominant. the fact he prioritizes shane's pleasure and consent does not immediately disqualify him from the role of dominant. it in fact does the opposite and makes him very well suited for it. i am not sure where this got twisted or misinterpreted but like... that's what domming is. and he's absolutely allowed to be needy as a dom. just because you're pleading for it doesn't mean you're submitting. and even if you compare the way they ask for things, there's a significant difference. (get on your stomach. no, hollander, i want to fuck you. you will need to ask nicer than that. let's make a deal. if you win, i will fuck you. fucking make me. i won't touch you, but if you get hard—) like he doesn't ask for things the way shane asks for things. and it's hot that he's needy. as for shane, he's a brat. and i promise his ass is not steering anything. my god. every time ilya comes into the room shane is hoping that he'll start giving him orders. the idea that he could be domming anyone in any of the sex scenes we've seen so far is kinda funny. but he is still able (and encouraged) to assert his desires as the submissive and he always gives ilya what he wants. and ilya always listens to him and always gives him what he needs. because they are sexually compatible. and if you do not understand BDSM we cannot force you to do so. if you do not think BDSM is hot we cannot force you to do so. i do, however, wish people who don't know what they're talking about would stop running their mouths. because why on earth am i seeing people say that kink roles are the new gender binary. dom =/= man. sub =/= woman. nobody ever said that. we're just making shit up now. what happened. where did we lose sight of what's real and true and beautiful. & there IS a fundamental misunderstanding of what the Dom/sub roles mean on this whole entire website, not even exclusive to hockey tv show porn enjoyers. i don't know why everyone seems to think there is A Good Dominant and then The Dominant's Secret Evil Twin. and one of those is right and one of those is wrong. and there's some nebulous gray area in between wherein the act of domming becomes unappealing or incorrect that we're all just supposed to magically understand. everybody watched too much law and order as teenagers and now everyone's cared of the word "sadism" i swear. but like... a dominant should (and does) care about the submissive's pleasure and consent. in return the submissive should care about the dominant's needs and expectations. quite honestly i guess these concepts are a little advanced and i don't mean that egotistically or pretentiously but it actually DOES require some research and some thought. you can't just expect to fully grasp this stuff via osmosis through fanfiction. and at the end of the day you don't have to think this stuff is hot. that's fine. but it's super tacky to, like, attempt to sterilize it out of a space where it exists. shane & ilya practice kink. the actors & creative team on the show have verbally, multiple times, confirmed it is a Dom/sub relationship. what is the disconnect like i really do not understand. once again the turbo virgin website is making their lack of sexual knowledge/experience everyone else's problem... if you don't like whips and chains or power exchange then that's fine but all the bad faith interpretations i've seen of their dynamic and also kink in general lately have affected me in the following ways: 1 - they're annoooooyyyyyyyying. & i've already written the subdrop essay so i have no comment on that i don't care what people are doing in their fic i care that people are trying to push some weird narrative that kink is regressive and/or dangerous. because that's really weird. and not true. anyway. y'all need to stop giving me the floor to rant about this stuff i'm supposed to be playing animal crossing right now

[eleadore]

bro youre not yearning again are you. bro. bro stop

[lilyhollander]

Connor should use Hudson as an ashtray btw. If they’re going to be smokers they should at least be kinky about it