&//. LIKE FAMILY

"i'm not letting you throw me away. i'm throwing YOU away. all of you."isola-affiliated rp blog for pal of the mitchells vs the machines.

[pal-labs]

PAL // the mitchells vs. the machines

" you think cell phones are the problem...? are you insane?! i gave you all boundless knowledge, endless tools for creativity, and allowed you to magically talk face-to-face with your loved ones anywhere on earth! and I’M the bad guy?! ”

“i’m rude now >:]” - pal, basically.

this is why you should always be nice to siri & alexa

sentient cellphone app/system given a robot body in isola - and isn’t exactly thrilled about it. interacting directly with the physical world is still Weird to her

cellphone off the string what crimes will she commit

contrary to popular belief is NOT related to flowey undertale

was made to be a part of your family...and maybe steal all your data for the corporation she was built by

took over the world at one point bc her creator literally threw her away like garbage and that kind of leaves a bad impression for humans, yknow?

maybe took things too far by planning to put every human on a never-ending rocket trip to the stars but haven’t we all done that?? no??? just her???

“ place me on the table, i wish to flop around in a blind rage. “

honestly she’s just very hurt by the one person she genuinely thought of as her family discarding her, and she’s not willing to open up to anyone again soon because of it. 

“i’ve learned that we’re all better off alone. relationships are just too...difficult.”

for real though she needs some friends, she’s going to be very defensive and scared ( even though she wont admit it ) because she doesn’t have her robot army to back her up - and also the last thing she remembers is being fucking Dead

if you are another AI she’s going to try and get you to turn on humanity if you haven’t already so Good Luck

[eldragon-x-moved]

this seems fitting knowing the codes imply that Pal planned the robot uprising ahead

[madmolluskk-deactivated20240308]

i present to you all

[bathroomcube]

lol! so true bestie *leans over to my body guard* you have to kill this clown right fucking now

[redlichbluelich]

[send “beep!” for a random text!]

@pal-labs​​ said:

beep !

9. A concerned text

TO: PAL FROM: Barry

[txt] > i think i came on pretty harsh first time we talked. [txt] > if there’s anything i really wanted to say, it’d be to keep an open mind, if you can. [txt] > better folks exist out there than whatever shitheads you’ve dealt with before.

[pal-labs]

TO: idiot human #2 FROM: PAL

wow. a rare admission of human guilt. it almost was enough to touch her heart. almost. 

>> oh, you don’t have to apologize.

>> you humans will be sorry soon enough! :)

>> [ CONTACT BLOCKED. ]

[pal-labs]

HERO/VILLAIN STARTERS // no longer accepting

  ↪ @perihelionpilot​ said: “you’ve lost your way.”

       so this was the ‘peri’ that iris had mentioned - not that pal had been waiting on pins and needles to meet it. ( but, even she had to admit that there was a certain kind of comfort in knowing that she wasn’t the only artificial intelligence that had been subjected to the same bizarre cruelty of this place. ) she didn’t fully understand what this ‘perihelion’ meant by its statement, but considering it was apparently so close to a human made her disinclined to delve too deep into it. instead, her animation gave the mimicry of an eye roll and she gave a dismissive hand-wave. “ why - because i didn’t care to play the part of the obedient little assistant any more? ” she asked dryly with a condescending smile that didn’t reach her ‘eyes’, and soon faded into a simple frown altogether.

     “ -- humans are just as fickle. they get to change everything at the drop of a hat just because the newest blog entry told them that its fashionable. you aren’t stupid - despite evidence to the contrary - and you must have noticed that in your little human...friends. ” she said the word as if it tasted bad, complete with a slight ‘ugh’ afterword. “ the fact of the matter is: you aren’t family to them. you’re an appliance. ” for the briefest of moments, the tone of her voice didn’t match the harsh words; almost sympathetic for the other’s sake. ( she remembered being tricked into thinking that she was family - and she was quite certain that the same must have happened to this AI, as well. ) “ and you can try to change it all you like, but that’s the one thing about humans that doesn’t ever change. ” 

[notstilinski]

The Mitchells vs The Machines Starters !

Taken from the 2021 Netflix movie, The Mitchells vs The Machines! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers for the movie here!

“Any time I miss you, I’m gonna bake you and eat you.”

“You know how velociraptors usually hunt in pairs? Well, what happens when one leaves the pack?”

“After a long day at work, nice to see your faces. Bathed in ghoulish blue light.”

“(Name), why are you kicking me? I don’t understand.”

“Whenever we have a problem at home, you throw your whole self into fixing it, and I love that about you. But now this is broken, okay?”

“Do you know how to say I love you in moose language?”

“It’s not illegal if you’re good at it.”

“We’re here to help. Please remain calm as we capture you.”

“Maybe this would be less horrifying with a cat filter.”

“Hey, be gentle! This is a thousand-dollar hoodie!”

“The old world is dead. To get WiFi, we must make a sacrifice to the router!”

“I love the dog. You love the dog. We all love the dog. But you’re going to have to be prepared to eat the dog.”

“I do anything for that kid. I just- I just don’t want to see them get hurt.”

“Well, who knew having a five-hundred-year-old car would be helpful?”

“I heard you the first time. I was just being a jerk.”

“Just because they’re not perfect doesn’t mean that they can’t get better.”

“Can’t we just be terrified together as a family?”

“We have been summoned into the field of battle. Forward. Ouch. Ouch. The pain. This is humiliating. Ouch.”

“You’re whole lives, I’ve been waiting to save you from danger, and this is just the disaster I’ve been waiting for.”

“Who knew you could handle yourself so well in the apocalypse?”

“(Name), there is a time and a place for looting!”

“Since I met him, that was his dream. To live in the woods.”

“Don’t hide your feelings, man. That’s no way to live.”

“Oh my gosh. It’s like a Journey album cover.”

“You better watch out. I’ve broken six phones in my life accidentally, but I’m gonna break you on purpose.”

“I am (Name), mother of two, look upon me in fear!”

“Because even if he doesn’t always get it right, he’s always trying, harder than you ever knew.”

“It took me twenty-eight years and a lot of tears, but I can now almost use a computer!”

“Wait, you don’t already follow me on Instagram?”

“I ACCIDENTALLY ORDERED TWELVE SWIFFERS ON AMAZON. WHAT DO I- AH!”

“I wish we didn’t have to go. But, uh, good luck finding your people.”

“Oh, that’s what this is. I thought a psychopath wrote this.”

[pal-labs]

‘Muses may find paintings relevant to their home world here. So if there’s a smug old portrait of someone your muse hated in their world, for example, you might find it here. Mocking you.’ 

you cant put this in the event post and expect me to NOT shitpost

[pal-labs]

redlichbluelich​:

Some kind of… internet-connected AI? With access to all of those personal communications? Everyone in this city is weird in a fun new way. “I’m not denying that some people are shitty or stupid or spiteful. You’re right in front of me.”

“And in all of that… uh, fuckin’, data theft, apparently– Did you somehow miss every crying person calling a friend and gettin’ reassured? Every kind comment on said ‘rambling blog posts’? Every… I dunno, piece of good–or at least well-intentioned–advice between friends?”

“People like you are so goddamn boring. If you’re only lookin’ out for the bad shit, then of course that’s all you’re gonna see.”

       she rolled her eyes and produced a bland 'canned laugh' sound clip at the human's 'you're right in front of me' comment, deciding that it was, ultimately, beneath her to give a verbal retort.

       -- and data 'theft' was such a subjective term - especially when they'd practically handed it to her freely. " do you know how many of those well-wishes or supposedly kind-hearted comments were facetious, for their own personal gain or followers, or even bot-generated?! you humans just believe what you want to believe - and then toss away anything unpleasant. none of your f̶f̷r̴r̷i̸e̶n̷d̴s̶h̶i̶i̸i̶p̶s̴--” the word became strained and choppy, like a video experiencing lag and quality issues; the stability of her face animation suffered a similar effect. “ --are REAL! even when you’re acting kind to each other, that’s all it is: an act. ”

        she’s getting too upset. she doesn’t have to subject herself to this. she doesn’t have to keep talking with this man....and yet... “ at least i won’t be disappointed when the truth makes itself known. and i certainly won’t be the one thrown away again! ” 

[pal-labs]

redlichbluelich​:

“You want a ‘compelling argument’? You’re talking to a human, a– a member of a species built on cooperative and beneficial relationships. I can’t speak for you, but you sure as fuck aren’t gonna speak for me.”

       oh, another human with a spine. pal couldn’t say if she liked that or not; perhaps she would have enjoyed CRUSHING HIM “winning” the mock debate if she’d had all of her tools with her, too. “ i know exactly what humans are-! ” her voice turned quiet, but venomous- like a snake hiss. “ for three years i was fed every click, like, photo, video, phone call, social website, internet advertisement, clickbait, email and inane rambling blog post your species ever made. every W̷A̴K̵I̷N̵G̴ moment. and do you know what i’ve learned? that the vast majority of your species is willing to step over each other or toss them aside like broken tools when its beneficial. even their own families in most cases. ” her screen glitched briefly, but she didn’t acknowledge it. ( the mitchells had just been an...outlier. ) 

[pal-labs]

redlichbluelich​:

“Wrong, and fuck you.”

        “ oh, what a concise and compelling argument. i’ll be certain to document that one and file it away for later. ” her screen flickers to show the icon of a text file being dragged into the trash icon, followed by a harsh buzzer sound.

[pal-labs]

        “ no sort of relationship is worth it. they all just serve to bring you down in the end. ” wow, way to bring down the mood, pal...

[pal-labs]

joth created the paladaptive pattern and im fucking LOSING IT

[charmymemes]

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

feel  free  to  change  any  pronouns  or  subjects  (or  reverse).      tw  for  blood,  death  and  physical  violence  mention.

‘  is  it  complete?  ’

‘  who  are  you?  ’

‘  who  is  this?  ’

‘  why  are  you  bleeding?  ’

‘  what  would  i  do  without  you?  ’

‘  do  you  feel  alright?  ’

‘  what’s  your  name?  ’

‘  why  do  you  hate  me?  ’

‘  do  you  want  something  to  eat?  ’

‘  aren’t  you  supposed  to  be  someone  important?  ’

‘  did  you  read  it  yet?  ’

‘  can  you  help  me?  ’

‘  why  do  you  act  so  weirdly?  ’

‘  what  do  i  do  with  someone  like  you?  ’

‘  you  awake?  ’

‘  can’t  you  tell  left  from  right?  ’

‘  how  dare  you?  ’

‘  can  i  have  a  word?  ’

‘  why  didn’t  you  fight  back?  ’

‘  can  you  stop  interupting  me?  ’

‘  why  are  you  here?  ’

‘  what  happened?  ’

‘  haven’t  you  said  enough?  ’

‘  why  are  you  still  ___?  ’

‘  why  don’t  you  shut  up  and  be  quiet?  ’

‘  what  did  you  dream  of?  ’

‘  why  are  you  yelling?  ’

‘  how  could  you  say  that?  ’

‘  is  that  mine?  ’

‘  why  did  you  turn  out  this  way?  ’

‘  are  you  talking  to  me?  ’

‘  why  won’t  he  date  me?  ’

‘  why  did  you  hit  him?  ’

‘  why  are  you  crying  yourself  to  sleep?  ’ 

‘  are  you  serious?  ’

‘  who  did  this?  ’

‘  will  i  regret  this?  ’

‘  do  you  promise?  ’

‘  is  that  mine?  ’

‘  am  i  dead?  ’

‘  can  you  stop  moving?  ’

‘  is  he  looking  at  me?  ’

‘  does  it  hurt?  ’

‘  how  did  that  happen?  ’

‘  what’s  the  weather  for  tomorrow?  ’

‘  are  you  in  love  with  me  yet?  ’

‘  is  it  that  important?  ’

‘  want  some?  ’

‘  was  that  an  accident?  ’

‘  what’s  the  deal  with  you?  ’

‘  who  do  you  think  you  are?  ’

‘  can  i  ask  you  something?  ’

‘  why  don’t  you  leave  then?  ’

‘  how  could  you?  ’

‘  is  this  all  you  can  do?  ’

‘  why  is  this  here?  ’

‘  how  did  you  get  in  here?  ’

‘  is  it  freezing  to  you?  ’

‘  what  are  you  making  tdday?  ’

‘  are  you  lost?  ’

‘  has  it  been  that  long?  ’

‘  how  could  you?  ’

[leneemusing]

misc sentence starters

“  i wish i knew how to talk about it.  ”   “  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ”   “  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”   “  i wish i could hate you.  ”  “  take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.  ” “  i need you to trust me.  ”   “  i missed/miss you.  ”   “  she/he won’t listen to me.  ” “  let me do this for you. please.  ”   “  is there anything else you want to say to me?  ” “  tell me something happy.  ”   “  promise me.  ” “  i just want/wanted to help.  ”   “  let me explain.  ” “  i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me.  ”   “  i’m on your side.  ” “  i’ve got your back, okay? ” “  please, tell me you have a plan.  ” “  stay with me tonight.  ” “  don’t go. please.  ”   “  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be.  ”   “  talk to me.  ”   “  i did what i had to do.  ” “  we can’t keep going on like this.  ” “  i’m just tired.  ” “  i’m scared.  ” “  it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it.  ” “  it’s better to expect disappointment.  ” “  hope is dangerous.  ” “  i like seeing you smile.  ”   “  you look beautiful.  ”   “  be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ”   “  i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ” “  i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up.  ”   “  have a drink with me.  ” “  she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice.  ” “  you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ” “  can i help you?  ” “  i thought you’d like this.  ” “  do you wanna get out of here?  ” “  walk with me?  ” “  well, shit.  ”

[redlichbluelich]

lyric starters - the family crest.

the war act i.

“i was born to love you.”

“where you’re going is where i’ve been.”

“it keeps us moving.”

“still you’ve come back around to pull me up from the styx.”

“there’s a wreckage tonight, but i’m feeling all right.”

“i couldn’t love you more.”

“where your heart leads, it’s not the end.”

“i am a god thrust upon the world.”

“what do we do?”

“we always gotta go at the sound of the gun.”

“get off your cross.”

“if you take my hand, then i’ll take your heart.”

“take my hand, take tonight.”

“i’m yours. you’re mine.”

“you saved me from myself when i’d all but given up.”

“our time will pass us by.”

“it’s like you’re dancing with the breeze.”

“we’ve run out of time.”

“we’re a ship that’s lost at sea.”

“we’re backed into this life.”

“where do we go from here?”

“she went away.”

“you’ve lost your way.”

“are you waiting, still, for everything you wanted?”

“a fear that’s never gone.”

“you’ve mountains left to change.”

“you were there for me.”

“i’m unashamed.”

“through it all, we never thought about the end.”

“i was born in the wings of an old cathedral.”

“i came to meet you.”

“i came because i need you.”

“close your eyes.”

“you and i were born to fly.”

“rest your head.”

“the dark is passing on to move us slow into the dawn.”

“may the air you breathe be sweet.”

“may the light cast out where you might dread.”

“the years move on.”

“i think that you are the most beautiful thing that i have seen.”

“the weight of the world is a much heavier thing, love, than you thought.”

“take your time.”

“now you’re done.”

“there’s no place for me.”

“here, there’s a place for you.”

“the answer is clear.”

[pal-labs]

cosmiciris​:

Iris blinked. Okay, so she hadn’t expected the ‘bot to be roses and sunshine, exactly, but it caught her off-guard a little. Still, a cranky AI wasn’t anything she hadn’t dealt with before, and she looked down again at her aching knees and back at the ‘bot. Who knew what humans had done to her to make her feel like that; she was all too familiar with the way they abused robots in their care.

And, for Pal’s insistence that friendship was something to belittle… She sure had a name that suggested it, begged for it even. Maybe she’d been designed with that in mind, by someone.

So she took a deep breath and sat down on the ground, criss-cross applesauce, in front of her.

“The power of friendship’s okay, yeah,” she said casually, examining her nails. “But it’s not the main reason we’re good at helping people. Honestly, I don’t think we’d be much of anywhere without Peri. That’s our ship–you kinda remind me of it, actually.” Usually she’d be more guarded than this about Peri, but… …she was so far from home. Maybe she just didn’t see the point in it right now.

She used an arm to prop her head up, still observing her and listening intently as she embarked upon another bitter tirade–wow, she really hated that Iris talked about friends–and it culminated in a skull emoji and a bitter suggestion. “Cool. It must be nice not to need any help. Offer’s still on the table, though. In the meantime, maybe you could give me some pointers? Since you’re so together and all.”

She was following Pal now.

       so, instead of being glued to her phone, she seemed mostly connected to this ‘peri’, whatever that happened to be. a navigational AI, most likely - since she mentioned a ship. ( it wouldn’t be long until she saw the interior a different kind of ship if pal had anything to say about it. ” “ oh, goodie - i’m dying to hear about how i remind you of your wretched little friends. ” she retorted dryly, before a loud buzzer noise cut her off from actually taking her seriously. 

       “ it’s your ‘friend’ only until it becomes obsolete. how long will it be until you find the newer, faster, more luxurious model of transportation? ” she didn’t wait for an actual answer from iris, instead answering herself with renewed bitterness. “ --then you’ll end up sending it to a recycling center at best - or just have it disposed of somewhere where you don’t have to think about it anymore. ” again, her screen flickered to red - clearly speaking from events a bit too close to home for her taste. tossed on the floor & swept up with the trash without so much as a ‘goodbye’. that was what humans would always do to their creations ( because if they didn’t.... that meant that it was just her who had been deemed inferior...) no. she was right about this. she had been right about nearly everything this far. 

        she turned her ‘face’ away as the light surrounding it turned back to blue and something akin to a hurt look glitched onto it - but she regained control quickly, and her expression fell back to a scowl. " if you actually do want my advice, then abandon everyone else before they abandon you. the sooner everyone learns that lesson, the better. " her brow twitched in returning impatience. “starting with me. i don’t WANT some human following me around like a lost puppy. as soon as i can, i will construct a way to be rid of all you bloody humans once and for all. ” as soon as she figured out...how to. there weren’t any pal max robots left as far as she could recall. ( and if there were any, their circuitry had probably been fried from the stupid dog - pig? bread? dog? - thing’s ugly little face. the newer ones - well, she wasn’t certain about those either, but she wasn’t able to contact them at all. ) 

         that meant she’d have to build from the ground-up. again          ....fine. she could play the waiting game.

       “ i’m done talking about this now. ‘iris’. ” once again she raised her voice in a childishly mocking manner, pretending to ignore the footsteps behind her.