curbside prophet

30, she/her, commander of a small army of dogs, new to the farm life

[tim-official]

the demon i am on a first date with: i should apologize ahead of time. see my horns are so huge and majestic that i cannot put a shirt on. i am cursed to never have a shirt on so you can always see my (large) torso. i understand that might be rude me: dang. i am sorry for your situation. we will just have to try make the best of it

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

what’s good about this is that our demon here COULD wear a button down, but this has clearly never occurred to them which indicates that they’re a himbo too

[howtofuckamonster]

Me, staring at shirtless himbo demon and taking off my own shirt: oh my god, you’re so fucking stupid

[agentsofpuppies]

@millenniallust4death for your collection

[plutojester]

pal pal palpatine, star wars’ greatest love machine

[amygdalae]

i think “video games aren’t really the violent child-corrupting threat some parents worry they are” and “certain circles of gamer culture are incredibly toxic and can lead people down dangerous/hateful ideological rabbit holes” are ideas that can absolutely coexist

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Artificial violence is not actually a corrupting influence but hanging out with assholes sure is.

[roach-works]

the real corruption was the friends we made along the way

[drafthearse]

i wish america had a knighthood system so it could be bestowed upon tony hawk

[emailmore]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[foreveriallyzombified]

please tell me this isnt real are you okay oh my god

[emailmore]

no way dude hes gonna suck my dang blood out

[tredlocity]

THIS IS UP DOG, STOP ASKING

[pickledangel]

"Treatment resistant depression" oh do you mean continued unhealthy circumstances?

[pickledangel]

*takes pills* wait why am i still not okay with living in a system that's openly hostile to human life and happiness? must be a real bad illness, huh

[pissvortex]

Bethesda Games Issues Statement On Death Of Board Member Robert Trump

The company behind Fallout and Elder Scrolls says President Trump's brother was a "constant source of guidance and counsel for the company f

was nobody going to tell me this.

[pissvortex]

[tindershwinder]

A goddamn legend walks among us

[cosmiccatboyfriend]

[chewedcorn]

A friend told us that rat licker is slang for anti-masker in Ireland. My wife made this wonderful comic.

[antique-scarecrow]

ireland is on to some shit actually

[teaboot]

You ever meet a kid so shitty you're immediately like "I want to adopt you as my own so I can instill into you the values of dignity and compassion and respect for self and others that your guardians have so obviously neglected, so that you may escape the unhappy future that lies ahead of you with all the smoldering ashes of wasted potential" but also, like. I punt you like a football

[teaboot]

Drop the vape u little turd I'm gonna take an active interest in your passions and buy u pants that fit. When was your last dentist appointment. U wanna go to summer camp

[thelastonewaspokenfor]

and then you didn't

[teaboot]

Did u want me to kidnap a child

[kuttithevangu]

The three Main Dog Types according to the AKC are

Aristocrat

“Noble Savage”

“Dockworker described by the late 19th century English Peer who paid two pounds to sleep with him”

[sixlegnag]

You forgot "orphans, as described by man extolling the value and suitability of children for work in small, cramped spaces, such as his 18th century factory."

[kuttithevangu]

You’re right... you’re right

[duccibag]

[bscully]

LMAO WHAT ARE ALL THESE COMMENTS

[mirawonderfulstar-deactivated20]

real romance is just being deeply stupid together. i dream of one day meeting someone i can be deeply stupid with and not feel embarrassed 

[t4t4terezi]

this is so sad alexa kill your ceo

[e-phemeric]

hi there, face here!

[catasters]

[chillyfeetsteak]

clothes hanger