Do you believe in destiny?

liam | enby | 24

[pandasonice]

dude i can scream into the void here and nobody will question me

[mrbulian]

[trans-mouse]

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Literally, I’ve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life

[topherchris]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[and-so-on]

????

[willowmancer]

To anyone who is confused:

Hope this clears things up.

[lordascapelion]

[valtsv]

perhaps you're right about a flaming sword being a useless and extremely hazardous weapon to wield but the fact remains that i am looking sexy wielding this kickass flaming sword and you are not

[toastbutteregg]

[noroithecurse2005-deactivated20]

there’s a huge cut in my mouth but i’m eating salt and vinegar chips anyway. why, you ask? well, i’m twisted. i’m insane. a fucking cycle path. i’m da fucken jocker baby

[albertserra]

Ok this is kinda funny but imagine being surrounded by people who sound like this. The French language was a mistake in the first place but combining it with English.... abomination

[macadamianutmilk]

@033h we've been saying

[tchaikovskaya]

"toc toc toc toc you are now a porcupicicle"

[sandersstudies]

“directement above your appartement”

[glitchlight]

male wifes unite! you don’t need the girl bosses, the girl bosses need you! labor is entitled to all it creates!

[7wise]

[tiktokstowatch]

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

I'm just amazed that they managed to find someone who knew none of this

[catsbeaversandducks]

[notobadthings]

I knew what would happen and yet

[disgustinganimals]

What *can’t* we learn from looking to the wisdom of nature?

Here’s one

[astalkingirin]

The best part is that the cat’s first box was already too small. “I learned nothing and never will.”

[vickytokio]

This cat is looking and thinking “okay, but what if I fit”

[erlkoenige]

i don’t think we can gaslight gatekeep girlboss our way out of this one boys

[batte-in-hatte]

[mint-corset]

[bastardcircus]

Ok, God, I am fucking wheezing, I got trained to work with mice today since I’ll need them for some experiments and the guy who trained me was like, “Yeah ok so if there’s a day where you just absolutely cannot get your mice to cooperate you can always do this” and picks up this cone-shaped bag and just put the mouse face-first into it and shows it to me and I lose my shit because deadass it was a piping-bag of mouse. Like, the whole mouse was pressed into this cone, fur and ears and feet all pressed up against the plastic, tail sticking up absurdly out of the top of the thing. It was so unimaginably fucking funny but like the mouse was perfectly ok with it, there’s a hole for air at the bottom so she could breathe and all but it was genuinely the most absurd thing I have witnessed in months

[bastardcircus]

THIS IS FUCKING IT, IT’S SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS!!!!!

[unclefather]

you will be turned to icing if you don’t start acting correctally.

[kaijuno]

Cone of shame

[darth--nickels]

the difference between tumblr and twitter is that pretty much everyone on tumblr needs some kind of compassionate intervention in their lives, but at a low background level. Twitter has 99% normies succumbing to internet brainrot and 1% just the most outlandish personalities you’ve ever seen. 

[darth--nickels]

your average tumblr personality is a shaking dog in a Sarah McLachlan appeal, with enough time and care they can be rehabilitated and placed in a loving home. your average big-time twitter account should be sent to a prison colony on the moon

[calamari-chaos]

how quickly we forget our past on this site…

[darth--nickels]

Friend I was here for the bone stealing witch. Even as the sun and moon hid their eyes and averted their gaze I saw the witch walk without fear of the laws of God nor man and steal those bones and sell them on etsy. The amputated toe. The breast milk jewelry. A man who against any law of heaven desires to own another human as a pet reblogged my star wars discourse posts. You want to talk about racefaking cannibal mermaids?? Bah! How many kickstarter scams for cartoons that sounded unbearably twee have come and gone? How many stars risen and fallen? I remember when this site had a sizable userbase of meth enthusiast who just posted aesthic shots of their stash and rigs. Where are those crank aficionados now? Gone like so many others. And yet I remain! 

And when I tell you that twitter is worse than any of that you should heed my words!! 

[anonymouscomrade]

#DO NOT CITE THE DEEP MAGIC TO ME WITCH#I WAS THERE WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN