www.BeyondTwo.com - Relationships
Read an article today written by someone who works in palliative care about the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed, and while it didn't surprise me what I read, it put things into perspective. In a nutshell it was everything from not working so hard, not maintaining golden friendships to not making the choice in life to be happy. But the number one regret was this:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Many people don't take the leap of faith to be who they want to be or live how they want to live. In some cases this extends to who they want to be WITH. Despite the perceived notion that we live in a time where people can look past differences, society is still by and large very set in its ways to ridicule what's not thought to be mainstream or "normal." Polyamory is perceived as a deviation from the norm because we are taught from a young age to pair bond with one person for the rest of our lives. Divorce rates, the statistics that show 50 percent of children live with one parent and infidelity statistics show how this, while in theory is nice, does not play out that way in practice. What we aren't taught from a young age is that people are fickle. Relationships don't always last, and to expect someone to love us unconditionally for the rest of their life is a tall order and miracle at best.
http://www.karenstan.net/2013/11/11/nurse-reveals-top-5-regrets-people-make-deathbed/
A friend of mine had been married for 15 years to her husband before she was diagnosed with cancer. Before she married her husband she was dating another man and felt that she had to make a choice to choose one continue a normal course onto marriage. During her time in treatment upon her cancer diagnosis her husband cheated on her with her best friend. When she found out what had happened she left for Hawaii and spent the next two weeks with the man she said, in retrospect, she should have married, as he loved her in spite of everything, including who she was with. Not everyone is as lucky to go back and spend time with the person they should have stayed with.
We are indoctrinated with the false pretense that we have to choose one person over another, and sell the latter down the river, basing relationships on exclusivity rather than inclusivity. It is no way to live. Polyamory can be a viable alternative to monogamy. It can also reveal to us before it's too late and separate the people who truly love us from those who give us the false belief that they will be for us no matter what.
For more information and discussion about polyamory and non-monogamy topics, visit the forums on www.BeyondTwo.com