PaperAndPerfect @paperandperfect - Tumblr Blog

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trasemc

Huskies gives me life

darkangel0410

@007waffles007

cowboy

I would let a racoon do surgery on me

cowboy

Have you seen their little hands? Those motherfuckers would give me a great heart transplant for the low low cost of a cold pizza slice

quinintheclouds

you do realize where racoons' little hands have been right

headspace-hotel

is that the...only reason you wouldn’t let a raccoon give you a heart transplant?

ankewehner

Come on! They are so well known for washing their hands that they’s called “washing bears” in German! You don’t have to worry about where their hands have been!

headspace-hotel

Well! you heard it folks, getting a heart transplant from a raccoon is perfectly safe!

day-time-dream

where is the raccoon getting the heart

cowboy

don't worry about it

mincerafter

Mr hozier just posted on Twitter that the song In The Woods Somewhere was inspired by a dream he had where he tried to defend some school children from a horse that was attacking them and I can’t cope

mincerafter

This song??? This song is about a horse????? A horse?????? This song?? A horse???? Mr hozier ??

princessscrambledpancakes

hozier: idk what the fuck is up with horses but i fear them

sponesaf

naprasno

opalcrow

Living their best lives

airandangels

they look like they’re gossiping

lauraannegilman

They’re not gossiping, they’re judging. HARD.

whitepeopletwitter

gallusrostromegalus

I love rhetoric but hate conflict so Pointless Debates ™ are my favorite thing. Some other good Pointless argments, if you need something to debate:

“Does (Food Item X) qualify as a sandwich?” Arguments For and Against. It’s equally fun to argue that an un-sandwich-like food (Ex: Soup) is a Sandwich, and to argue that a Sandwich-like food is Not A Sandwich (Ex: Muffuletta).

Should You Fistfight This Historical Figure?

Arguments for Non-Dog animals to be admitted to the AKC Ex:“An Armadillo is basically a fortified Dachsund”

“If you could write a new book for the Bible, what would it be called?” (I want to write “Errata”)

Bracket Nights, but arguing which of the 16 things is the Worst.

brostateexam

it's been a bad year for essential workers, mental health, small businesses and probably many of the people reading this, but it's been a great year for hot takes

ouranhighschool

Merry Christmas

rhaenyraitargaryen

Jane Eyre (2011) Dir. Cary Joji Fukunaga

↳ Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre

popokko-deactivated20210315

skincare girl bosses please impart your wisdom unto me .... i have an extremely oily nose and upper cheek area but even when i wash my face with a simple cleanser it immediately dries and flakes... and when i try to use a moisturizer it BURNS and turns red... help me ... my empire is crumbling ...

paperandperfect

Not like a girl boss. But i do get similar problems. I like to use a gentle cream cleanser, my fave is one from Ole Henrikson, in the purple tube, and i follow it up with an aha serum about twice a week. Gentle exfoliation helps to renew skin cells so dead skin osnt as much of a problem and using a cream cleanser doesnt disrupt the moisture barrier of my face.

thoodleoo

all these stories about how the modern day dionysian ritual is going out and murdering someone in the woods…the true modern day dionysian ritual is drunkenly going to taco bell at 3 am and i dare anyone to tell me otherwise

thoodleoo

like. ive never seen dionysus in the woods but i’ve DEFINITELY seen him at taco bell

uncahier

professorofeljay

Modern day dionysian ritual is also theater kids/goths at the Denny’s at 3am

catchymemes

This was George. He was a 9 year old Jack Russell who lived in the small town of Manaia, New Zealand. On April 29, 2007 he jumped into a losing fight with two Pit Bulls to protect two young children. According to witnesses he fought as hard as he could, but he never stood a chance and was severely mauled as the children were pulled to safety. George died from his wounds that afternoon at the vet.

moonxtal

The best boy

kaijutegu

So now that my whole family is vaccinated using the Pfizer vaccine, I thought it might be nice to report on our side effects! Can you find the common denominator?

Me, 30

vaccinated 22 Dec

22 Dec- minor flashes of pain at injection site

23 Dec- injection site pain when punched lightly in the arm by Dad who forgot which arm I got the shot in, some joint stiffness that’s proooobably more likely related to falling asleep in a stupid position and honestly it’s so minor that it barely counts

24 Dec- redness at injection site, no swelling, no longer tender to touch- redness possibly from ripping off band-aid.

Lauren, 27

vaccinated 20 Dec

21 Dec- reported swelling and soreness in left arm around injection site

22 Dec- reported headache in the morning and a low-grade fever that broke by 1 PM

24 Dec- reported significant pain at injection site when slapped on the arm by our dad as he was telling a joke and laughing too hard at his own joke

Nick, 24

Vaccinated 23 Dec

24 Dec- reported pain at injection site when gently shaken awake by our dad, who managed to put his hand exactly on the injection site

Sarah, 20

Vaccinated 23 Dec

23 Dec- reported pain and swelling at injection site

24 Dec- reported pain at injection site when picked up by our dad in an attempt to crack her back

Mom, 58

vaccinated 23 Dec

23 Dec- reported severe headaches in evening and redness/swelling around injection site

24 Dec- headache gone, injection site red and a little itchy, pain at injection site when hugged too tightly by my dad

Dad, 57

vaccinated 19 Dec

19 Dec- reported soreness around injection site

24 Dec- reported severe pain in entire body when entire family decided to beat him with pillows to see how he liked it

kaijutegu

my father is an ABSOLUTE TREASURE he’s the kindest, sweetest human man on the planet but he’s like-

you know how sometimes when a big dog is so happy and it wags its tail and it knocks over the furniture and hits you in the knees?

that’s my dad

what-even-is-thiss

Alison was such a popular name in medieval England that authors would name women characters Alison to indicate that she was supposed to be a very normal kind of person

what-even-is-thiss

People in northern England in medieval times used to refer to themselves as I while people from the south referred to themselves as ich so you can tell when a northern character is imitating a southern accent when they start saying “ich will” instead of “I will” or vice versa

what-even-is-thiss

Friars/traveling priests these days are remembered as very holy figures. Not necessarily so in medieval times! They had a reputation for going from town to town and boinking random unmarried women.

what-even-is-thiss

Yes beer was given to children but the beer that was given to children or consumed at most meals was really low in alcohol content. Think modern day kombucha. High alcohol stuff was for adults.

what-even-is-thiss

Medieval peasants grew a lot of stuff in personal gardens like onions, garlic, and rosemary so even though they were limited in what they were allowed to hunt or grow legally they probably had some very tasty meals.

what-even-is-thiss

In the very early middle ages even the nobility were illiterate. Pretty much only monks knew how to read and write. William the conqueror? Was most likely illiterate.

antique-scarecrow

I’m losing my mind, please tell us more

what-even-is-thiss

After the Normans conquered England and nobility started to learn how to read, there’s a period between about 1066 and 1200-ish where all “English” literature in the sense that it was from England, was written in French. When things were written in English again it had already merged with French somewhat so what happened in between Old English and Middle English? idk.

what-even-is-thiss

These days the stereotype is that men are very horny and women are reserved and aren’t as concerned with sex. For most of European history that stereotype was actually reversed! It was still the same amount of sexist though.

dutifullydarkstarlight

what-even-is-thiss

People in the British isles have been continuously making some version of oat cakes since at least the time of the Roman conquest. The definition of an oat cake though, varies from region to region even today. In some regions they are similar to oatmeal cookies while in other regions they are more like pancakes.

what-even-is-thiss

Medieval historians weren’t terribly concerned with accuracy. More likely they were concerned with entertainment. So in order to rid themselves of criticism when they were found out for making stuff up they often cite other people or books that may or may not exist or say that they heard it from this other guy so it’s not them making stuff up oh no it was that other guy. So that’s why we often have to depend on archeology to understand what actually happened and medieval “historical” texts are more often the study of literary experts rather than historians.

pouting-about-poptarts

More facts please

what-even-is-thiss

Bloodletting was so popular as a medical treatment in medieval times that they sometimes treated wounds with bloodletting. Also, bloodletting and most cutting of humans for medical purposes in general including surgery was not performed by doctors. It was performed by barbers.

what-even-is-thiss

Medieval English literature from about Beowulf onward often includes a lot of long passages about putting on armor. This was actually quite fun and entertaining for the intended audience of these stories, who were usually warriors and knights who wanted to know what kind of cool armor their favorite legendary hero was wearing.

nova-nadir

i love these can we have more?

what-even-is-thiss

In medieval literature, a person having a gap in their teeth is shorthand for “this person has a lot of sex”

dxitydoo

I love these lil factoids. Idk how you know this but I feel educated and I’ve lived in the U.K. my entire life. History would’ve been way more interesting if we learnt this.

what-even-is-thiss

I took an English Medieval Literature class to cap off my English degree and the class itself was full of weird facts because literary history is odd but that also sent me down a massive medieval Britain related rabbithole in my freetime because uh it was weird, y'all.