Paperboy64 @paperboy64 - Tumblr Blog

One thing I learned while in DBT groups that I don't think is discussed a lot is that trust comes in many forms.

People act like trust is a monolith. That it is on/off. It's why many feel like they are not trusted when someone with emotional permanence issues asks for reassurance.

"Of course I mean it, don't you trust me?"

There is so much more complexity than a yes/no there.

"I trust you to give me clarification when I ask for it."

"I trust you not to judge me or punish me for asking."

"I trust you but I am good at catastrophizing and reality testing my paranoid thoughts before they grip me would be helpful."

It's easy to fully trust someone and still question them. The ability to question them is part of the trust.

Often when someone says that they trust someone but does not act like they trust them (asking for reassurance and such) the lack of trust is not in the other person but in their own self. "I trust you to tell me the truth, I do not trust my brain not to try and twist facts."

But there are other forms of trust, too.

There is the trust required to let someone see a person at their worst. To know that seeing them upset, angry or unfiltered will not lead to retaliation or betrayal.

There is the trust required to linger in silence or absence and not need confirmations and assurances.

There is the trust that you can push someone's buttons and get an explosive emotional reaction without harming either party or the relationship.

Trust is a nuanced and complicated thing and it often goes so under discussed and misunderstood. Particularly as such things can and will be taken advantage of by people with bad faith or can lead to learned helplessness when someone's trust in their own perceptions is crippled and they rely on someone else to provide context for them.

I just think that "do you trust me?" is a lot more nuanced than most people asking it give credit for.

misscammiedawn

Half the reason I thought about this is, stupidly enough, a discussion on the best final case of a Phoenix Wright game.

I argued that 3-5 is a better climax to a game (and the trilogy, even) but 1-5 and 2-4 both have a tension that cannot be replicated in 3-5 because the enemy prosocutie in both 1 and 2's finales is Miles Edgeworth, Phoenicholas' boyfriend.

The enemy is on the testimony stand but the person the protagonist and thus player is battling with is the franchise's love interest.

Both cases have a circumstance where the trial needs to be prolonged to get to the truth without an innocent person being killed. In 1-5 the chief of police has the power to shut down the trial at any moment and in 2-4 the assassin responsible for the murder has a hostage who will die if he suspects you are not going to uphold your side of the bargain and get your client an Innocent verdict.

So Nick and Miles have to throw their all into attacking one another with everything that they have, trusting that the other party can take it and give back just as much.

The circumstance is as bombastic as only an anime lawyer game could be but the raw intimacy of not being able to directly communicate with the person you love and trying your absolute hardest to defeat them knowing they will match you in every capacity and will not lose?

It's romantic as fuck.

Pushing someone to their absolute limits and knowing they'll meet you and often raise you?

It's kind of addicting.

It's also painful when/if either party falters and all that emotion comes crashing down into painful reality and trust is shattered. But god damn it's fun while it lasts.

It's fun to imagine you can just see into another person's heart and mind and be able to push buttons and get reactions and know when things cool down the dynamic is still strong and powerful. But at the end of the day communication will always win out. Plus, trust and communication itself does not remove or hurt trust.

Unlike with Nick and Edgey no one will die if you lay down your arms and pause the war for a few minutes.

Whether it be calling a yellow in a play scene, asking for a day to just process and come back in an argument so emotions can cool off or even asking for a change in how the communication is given.

It's always appropriate to stop, ask and provide context.

contemptible-scoundrel

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you are split in half."

- Mark "Cleftin" Twain

#lamo

camellia0x0

流れるままに

#getting strong gender from this #I would like to be a body of water #not picky about which one #clouds count as airborne bodies of water for my yearning purposes #this art is really good love the sea foam and how fluid it all feels #very organic

ambermaitrejean

Lesser goldfinch. Jefferson County, Colorado. Photo by Amber Maitrejean

#wingéd ones

slitherpunk

being trans and feeling like my life didn't really start for an additional decade sucked .i wish that vampirism was real so that i don't feel like my life is being wasted as time goes by. and so that i can suck lots of blood . from maidens

uwotc-official

Announcing United Wizards of the Coast - CWA

Hello World, we’d like to introduce ourselves. We the workers of the Magic: The Gathering Arena team have come together to unionize as United Wizards of the Coast - CWA!

unitedwizardsofthecoast.com/news/announcing-united-wizards-coast-cwa

We are game makers, storytellers, artists, and creative technicians, and we are passionate about the work we do.

However, to continue creating games that you, the players, enjoy, the reality is that we must change how we are treated as employees by Hasbro & Wizards of the Coast.

Unionizing, in partnership with Communication Workers of American CWA, is how we ensure better protections, compensation, and a seat at the table for the future of the game we have made successful.

Hit the link for our full statement, other socials, ways to contact UWOTC reps, and more.

Together we will build the games industry we want to see. Support by sharing our posts, celebrating our work, & calling on Hasbro & WOTC to voluntarily recognize our union!

unitedwizardsofthecoast.com/about

#props