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@paradoxcd
【 ＴＨＥＹ＇ＲＥ ＰＲＥＣＩＯＵＳ ＴＯ ＨＩＭ． 】
"𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢?" "𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖?" "𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚎."
o1. ɪɴᴅ. ꜰɪᴠᴇ ʜᴀʀɢʀᴇᴇᴠᴇꜱ, ʜᴄ-ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇɴ. ᴄᴀɴᴏɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴀɴᴛ o2. ᴏᴄꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴜʙʟᴇꜱ ᴛᴏᴛᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ! o3. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ɴᴏ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟꜱ, ᴏɴʟʏ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ. o4. ꜱᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ. o5. ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴇᴛᴄ. 06. ᴋᴇʟꜱ / ꜱʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ/ʜᴇ / 28
speaking of protective big brother five one thing that will always always take me out is that s2 scene where the bricks are about to fall on luther and five just, pushes him out of the way and gets buried under the rubble. little twig man pushes luther, big superhuman strength luther, out of the way of danger. because he couldn't do that originally. because he wasn't there to save any of them back then. because he found them all under piles of brick and rubble in his apocalypse. the way i would have liked to see more of this kind of little protective actions re: his family within fight scenes.
the only lila five interaction i cared for was at the end when she was like 'i hate you i hate you for this' and he was like 'i know'
"five needed a love story" don't pmo his love story was about his love for his family and that was the only thing we needed
five about umbrella ben probably: if anything happens to ben i'll kill everyone in this room and then mys-
the tua rpc scrambling to fix the timeline and rewrite season 4 better
i don’t know if i’m strong enough to write here yet but here’s a sketch of this little freak,
thought they were going to touch on five's trauma but jokes on me for having expectations once again-
oh girl i watched the finale. some things i liked many many things i didn't overall still feeling a little sad about what looked like rushed writing and cut character development stuff. and unanswered questions i fear. anyway if i do anything here i will be canon divergent bc there's a lot i don't rly agree with in how five was handled this season
just my opinion but the potential for five actually having to confront the fact that post s3 his family didn't ~need him anymore was simply a missed opportunity. there was no Task to complete. there was no impending apocalypse. yeah it made sense that he went to the cia to just Do Tasks but i just think there was space for a little bit of an interesting tailspin. guy who spent countless yrs and did the worst kinds of things trying to save his family, save the world. but he'll never fit right outside of an apocalypse, he'll never be able to operate alongside normal life. and now he doesn't have his powers to rely on, can't control shit. the whole fam struggles this season, but it just was like. five's writing just did not have the same spark it did when his motivations were clear and centered around his family
the girlies getting on dash: AND ANOTHER THING-
me squinting at s4: i'm liking it tua is always gonna be fun to watch but girl we are once again doing Same Narrative Thing to five. i just think we could have mixed up the dynamics more if it was gonna be him doing Further Timeline Gymnastics. i just think i missed five interacting w his family like i get doing things on his own is his whole Thing but it takes away some of the heart of the show fr me personally. a known five enjoyer.
leans into the mic hey guys how come five hasn't killed a room full of people this season yet EITHER!!
@paradoxcd : “ and the saddest part of all? you’ll cling to the good memories, as if there were any. ” sorry that he’s being like this *
a picture , in which they are not older than ten , speaking with hushed tones and racing hearts , until they’re far away from the academy — when laughter booms . its constricting walls and controlling inhabitants can’t do anything to them here , so they laugh ( without children , quiet ! ) when klaus tries to do a cartwheel in the middle of the street and somehow fails , and they yell at each other ( without children , behave ! ) when they can’t agree on where to go , until someone pops out from a window and screams at them too , ‘ shut the fuck up ! ’ and they laugh , again , louder the farther they get . it isn’t perfect — but their family , dismantled and resentful , anything but , is what kept ben tethered , what kept him here : he thinks back on the many years spent as a ghost , clinging to his poor brother’s side , nagging him about drugs or life decisions or ‘ klaus i’m bored ’ when he could’ve simply … left , and wonders if it would’ve changed anything ( it was selfishness , perhaps, a part of it : no one talks about how scary it is to walk into the light , as they say , to leave behind everything you know when what awaits you is unlikely to be any better than what you currently have ) .
he thinks it’s the same for five — it has to be , one cannot spend so many years trying to recover something if there are not some good memories attached to it . maybe it is sad , that the good ones they have are ancient , older than this newlyfound sense of purpose : familiar only in the way that five wears their old uniform , in the way ben can sense them squirm underneath his skin . equal parts depressing and comforting . “ it wasn’t that bad , ” he says , but it sounds insensitive — or worse , untrue . the kind of lie frightened kids tell themselves when they’ve been pushed past their limit . “ we all would’ve gone crazy earlier if there weren’t any . ”
❝ you trailed klaus all those years, ❞ five says, quiet and thoughtful. then brows raise, curious, or impressed; ❝ … anyone ever tell you you have the patience of a saint, ben? ❞ it’s a trace of wit, of warmth in the space between his ribs. it was nice to talk to him again. and it was impossible to voice how much.
just like all his other siblings, ben had grown up. but five could still see them all, shoved into a booth at griddy’s — the orange glow of the diner lights and their unbridled chatter filling the air, talk of everything and nothing — the way only children do. while outside the city crawled quietly in the night. could still recall childish ventures in dragging his reluctant brother along at the wrist, when he wanted to sneak around the closed doors at the academy. no, not all of their childhood was a jagged edge, some fragments glimmered with beams of sunlight in old manor windows, and lamps lighting an empty street, and the deafening but familiar laughter of his brothers and sister.
five’s gaze softens. it wasn’t. he would have taken it a thousand times over what really happened to his life. ( maybe you were only bitter ) — memories were all you had to hold onto for all those years. and they got further and further away. they became old photo albums in attic boxes, shelved and forgotten. and ben — ben was a box of old photos, too — was like an uncovered mirror at the end of the hallway. ( a dark statue catching the rain in the courtyard, a portrait in the living room. — each little more than a cautionary tale to loved ones. ) ❝ is that why you stayed? ❞ it comes away unexpectedly pointed. he turns to ben, expression misty and unreadable. if he had to guess, there was a familiarity in it — a safety, a tether. five didn’t know if there was a ‘better place’ — if there was a bright light to walk into. but uncertainty, desperation — that he understood. he understood sitting among the academy ruins with their bodies. the compulsion to dig through what he could, finding voiceless music boxes, dogeared books, a jacket that had once held the warmth of someone he loved. ( but i never found you. )
( and always, always the question: was it worth it, to go on? was it worth it, even, to remain? )
❝ it feels like a lifetime ago. ❞ and wasn’t it? ❝ … but i guess i missed the worst of it. ❞ he looks over ben’s face — knows by now the grave importance of committing it to his memory. he thinks again, of the lonely statue; ❝ … i’m sorry, ben. i should have been there. ❞
I’m relieved, actually. This time, everything goes. There’s no Commission, no leaping away. No life spent going mad with the desperation to see a familiar face.
wrote sparrow academy five once today and verified that No, He’s Still Insane
@bledlose said: 'brought you coffee.'' marcus is already tucking it into five's hands before the sentence has finished, he stands just inside five's room, still dressed from his morning workout. 'breakfast together in fifteen. you & i are on snack run today, so if you're wanting anything, now's the time to say something.''
he needed a bigger whiteboard — this one was beginning to look closer to a crime scene, or a madman’s scrawlings, with red marker equations from end to end. none of which had been productive in answering his question — about his small, deranged doppelganger that had magically materialized in the academy foyer a day before.
at first, he’s too steeped in his own impatient simmering to look up, to offer more than a muttered, distracted ‘thank you’ — until marcus is physically placing the coffee into his wringing hands. five offers a dry, thin smile; ❝ why don’t you ask fei. she’s the one feeding her birds all the trail mix. ❞ he narrows his eyes over the coffee as he brings it to his lips; ❝ if i come to breakfast, can we talk about what the fuck happened yesterday? ❞
five blinks down from where he’d been perched on his desk, irritability steadily reigned in to just vague displeasure. marcus had that sort of effect, and so did freshly-brewed coffee. ❝ i don’t suppose you’ve given any thought to what we’re going to do about our outstandingly dimwitted knockoffs, have you? ❞ ( give me a fucking break; the umbrella academy? ) well, they were pedestrian copies at best, and spacetime-shattering at worst, so there was that to consider. impatient to move as he was, ultimately, he trusted marcus’ judgement. and unlike their dear ben, he wasn’t so terribly inclined to trip over himself having a pissing contest.
then, it wasn’t exactly their skill that concerned him. five falls into step with his brother, now, gears turning visibly behind his expression. brows furrow down in thought; ❝ … not everything they said was total bullshit, if you were wondering. ❞ he gestures vaguely with his coffee. ❝ — statistically unlikely, and an unprecedented paradoxical anomaly — yes. but not impossible, ❞ he glances up to regard marcus placidly; ❝ and if it’s not impossible, marcus, then we have bigger problems than property damage on our hands. ❞
