Oh, boy. This is gonna be good, I can tell.

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@parkersherman
Oh, boy. This is gonna be good, I can tell.
TEXT 🤬 PARKSSIE
Cassie: They do but I also don't want to be THAT person that goes up to people and tells them they're killing the planet so I don't know what to do aside from complain to someone via text lol.
Cassie: Oh, that's so cute! I wish there was a rainbow BIRD one, I'd buy that in a heartbeat. And yes that's true! I never use the stir straws anyway.
Fuck, marry, kiss, kill: Serena, Selina, Samina, Seraphina.
You forgot the hottest girl with an S name in the whole damn school, fools!
Sherman, comma Parker, right?
Hey, if we’re going last names, I’m pissed I’m not on the list too! We can have our own list, Parks, you, me, Summer, I guess my cousin if she wants in, the Slades, Presley… am I forgetting anyone?
text 🐶 parlos
Carlos: I guess when you put it that way it's true too. Maybe they did that for programs like yours though? Think about how much harder it would be to do your coursework if the beach was really far away. Wow, that's actually a really dumb reason to not try and preserve the natural wildlife! So what if there's a few signs on a stretch of beach, better than messing with the entire ecosystem!
TEXT 🥊 PARKEY
Turkey: No, that requires too much work lol even via text. I mean, I guess I could use all caps and emojis but that is EFFORT 😠 and doesn't feel "me" at all, wow.
Turkey: Dude, no. My hair is my last saving grace lol. If we're gonna shave someone's head, it's going to be someone else's.
TEXT 🌙 LARKER
Laguna: MY BRAIN GOES TO THE MOST DRAMATIC OPTION, I WON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THAT. Emotional Support Mom isn't *that* bad but needing your mom there for a proposal would definitely be gross. It wouldn't be the first time a dude asked me to marry him on a casual date though so mother-son threeway might be worse.
TEXT 🤔 DARKER
Dijon: Oh damn. Well, that sounds more like the fault of equipment being unaccessible than of being left-handed to me but alright. That's an awkward place for a champagne cork death, at a wedding, but I always knew those corks were accidents waiting to happen. I even created a safe uncorker for Dad when I was younger because I got tired of just apple cider for New Years but even so, that's what we get lol.
Dijon: Little ones can't crush you though, that's just like a foot accident waiting to happen and nothing more.
text 🍻 parkson
Jackson: Please, like I've never watched an episode of Ru Paul's Drag Race? And yeah, half of them do come across as showy and not really you know. Actually look like ladies.
Jackson: Aw, but those always look like so much fun in those tutorials. And by fun I just mean challenging because nobody can seem to get them on right the first time and it's kind of amazing.
I heard your dad is pressuring you to study dentistry in case marine biology doesn't work out.
Don’t give him ideas! He’s surprisingly never brought up the idea of keeping the dentistry in the family.
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Rumor has it your dad has forbidden you from falling in love.
No, I actually think dad worries about me being alone, if anything.
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Somebody told me you still stuff your bra?
Still? I never did in the first place; I was always out on the beach, it’s kind of hard to hide something like that when you’re all wet.
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rumor has it you're scared to open your heart because you don't want to get hurt
That’s a basic summary, yeah.
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Rumor has it you've helped homewreck before.
Not that I’m aware of, but it’s not my job to know whether or not someone’s single. It’s their job not to be hitting on someone else when they’re in a relationship already!
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Rumor has it you've always wanted to fuck in an aquarium.
What makes you so sure I haven’t done that already?
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Rumor has it you wish that you had a different best friend because your current one smells kinda funny.
Does she? I must have spent so much time around @sailormoonhawkins that I’m used to it by now.
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Rumor has it you watch romcoms alone in your room sometimes.
No, usually @sailormoonhawkins or @melodytritonx is there, too.
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Rumor has it Darla has killed more than just fish.
I’ve definitely seen her kill a crab or two, too.
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