crush me with the sunshine of your heart

sushiboxers > passengerpuppy

[passengerpuppy]

🦴sushiboxers > passengerpuppy🦴

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Profile Info

Avatar: From Breaking Bad Header: Also Breaking Bad lol, GIF created by @thepinkpestilence Title: quote from novel American Psycho, originally from Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit <3

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About Me

You can call me Puppy. Early 20s. He/Him

No DNI but I block semi-liberally, don't be offended (if, let's be honest, you even notice). Minors will be blocked without exceptions.

PNI (please now interact): 00s aesthetic/tech enthusiasts, polyamorous folk/relationship anarchists/other non-monogamists, people who love science and arts equally (or just feel deeply connected to both), non-practicing human beings, people whose favorite color is orange, people who love star wars (esp. obi-wan kenobi), people who do not feel normal about ewan mcgregor and his filmography.💖

My Posting Ethos #myethos: I try to keep things light, inspiring, aesthetically pleasing, and/or enlightening. Topics may include nature, technology, politics, and of course a healthy dose of random bullshit. Some posts may be NSFW. That being said, I also am prone to occasional but pretty severe vent-posting; I prefer not to tag it, since this is my space to express myself freely, so if you don't want to see that you should not follow me. <3

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Links

Personal Website | Letterboxd | StoryGraph

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Tagging System:

#sushibarks - my original posts!

#posts about life - some are "good", some are "bad". all posts about human life on planet earth.

#tech tips - these are... not usually tips at all, it started as tips (e.g. how to install ad blockers or switch to Firefox), but now i use that tag to post about this bitch of an internet we cohabitate.

Sitewide tags I sometimes use include #running, #zombies run, and #star wars :]

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[sobcat]

[passengerpuppy]

just a rant about relationship anarchy and me being anti-romance lmfao. if that makes you want to argue pls just scroll away

I've been having some complicated hard-to-articulate thoughts about romance lately since doing a bit more research into relationship anarchy, like wow, first of all it feels so good to have my intuitive thoughts about romance as a social construct validated... I thought it was just like, my autism making that concept a black box for me, and figured it'd be best to assume I just Don't Get It rather than double down based purely on my intuition that it's worthless at best and harmful at worst, but to find a real intelligent viewpoint that says, "Nope! That shit is not only made up but exists purely to support the patriarchy and capitalism! Just like everything else!" is nice, albeit bittersweet. Still sucks to be stuck in a society that is so entrenched in upholding this fantastical lie that even very progressive people are hell bent on upholding this system but I also get that there are a lot of easier to digest and arguably more pressing issues to fight for and it's just like, me and (some) other aromantics that are affected negatively enough, as we're (somewhat) on the outside looking in at the people who still believe they have a chance to achieve the great fantasy that romance promises, to feel strongly about this but. Oh well I guess. At least I've found a concept to, again, explain my own intuitive feelings and create a personal framework through which to structure my own relationships. The societal part can wait. I guess.

I feel like relationship anarchy is what I've been looking for rather than (or maybe in addition to?) aromanticism. It's not just a personal choice for me to reject romance; it's that the concept as a whole is just fucking garbage. Sorry! The fantasy it promises can be so fun, and I do find beauty in it sometimes (god knows I am prone to blorbo-posting and yearning on main), but damn that shit ultimately just exists to sell you shit and WORSE to keep people from like. Coming together as a community by isolating ourselves in nuclear families n shit you know? I feel like that Spongebob meme that's like, "Wait you guys [believe romance inherently exists]? I thought [we were just playing pretend]." Like fuck!!!

Also, the way I've genuinely been made to feel like I'm crazy for vaguely insinuating that i think it's fucked up for people to dictate who their partners can sleep with, kiss, be emotionally intimate with, etc... and that includes polyamory too by the way! There's a difference between like, a community having an intervention for your friend about her fuckass toxic loser boyfriend because you care about her wellbeing, and people in a Couple being like "You can't have sex with other people because it makes me uncomfortable and I'm not going to question that belief because society tells me it's normal, so surely it's not just moral emotivism and a cope for my unchecked jealousy issues! This is a completely healthy and functional system btw!" and to be clear-- a fear of losing someone close to you, or even just that they'll like someone else more than they like you, is obviously SUPER normal. (especially when society tells you/makes it so that this person is your primary/only support for all of your financial, emotional, sexual, etc. needs =D) HOWEVER, the way we've agreed as a society that the fix for that is having authority over your partner's autonomy??? Like hello can anyone fucking hear me why have I been gaslighting myself rather than just admitting that this is fucking absurd and I am not the one who's not making any sense.

[passengerpuppy]

Oh my god I just want to go to bed but I have more thoughts and I can't stop now. Like I said, I totally see the fun and beauty in the ideas of romance. I get the draw, I really do. I feel like there is some room for the fantasy to live on, though I don't know practically what that would look like, but I'm not trying to be a killjoy and I really do see some of the value in it which is why I haven't come to this conclusion sooner.

That being said, I really really really really really think we need to fucking think critically about what the hell we're talking about because when you peel back the pretty pink fluffy layers it really does boil down to splitting off into family units (whether a Couple or the supposedly more progressive Throuple etc), and ultimately dividing communities so that they're easier to control. To be distracted by chasing the illusion of Finding The Right Person and then acting like you've found The Right Person who's made you totally whole and happy! No revolution needed! Gay marriage does not fix this. Polyamory does not fix this. Being DINK(WAD) does not fix this.

We are literally leaving comrades behinddd by pairing off and disappearing behind white picket fences ugh and yes I'm bitter because I am one of the people getting left behind! And my solution was just to try and get behind one of those damn picket fences myself but that is just not the answer. I really hate this shit so much. Finding The One is a sham and meanwhile the rest of your community needs you.

[possessable]

it's fine i don't even need to be part of social groups or friend groups anyway (giant hole appears in my chest spontaneously) ? what's that

[passengerpuppy]

just a rant about relationship anarchy and me being anti-romance lmfao. if that makes you want to argue pls just scroll away

I've been having some complicated hard-to-articulate thoughts about romance lately since doing a bit more research into relationship anarchy, like wow, first of all it feels so good to have my intuitive thoughts about romance as a social construct validated... I thought it was just like, my autism making that concept a black box for me, and figured it'd be best to assume I just Don't Get It rather than double down based purely on my intuition that it's worthless at best and harmful at worst, but to find a real intelligent viewpoint that says, "Nope! That shit is not only made up but exists purely to support the patriarchy and capitalism! Just like everything else!" is nice, albeit bittersweet. Still sucks to be stuck in a society that is so entrenched in upholding this fantastical lie that even very progressive people are hell bent on upholding this system but I also get that there are a lot of easier to digest and arguably more pressing issues to fight for and it's just like, me and (some) other aromantics that are affected negatively enough, as we're (somewhat) on the outside looking in at the people who still believe they have a chance to achieve the great fantasy that romance promises, to feel strongly about this but. Oh well I guess. At least I've found a concept to, again, explain my own intuitive feelings and create a personal framework through which to structure my own relationships. The societal part can wait. I guess.

I feel like relationship anarchy is what I've been looking for rather than (or maybe in addition to?) aromanticism. It's not just a personal choice for me to reject romance; it's that the concept as a whole is just fucking garbage. Sorry! The fantasy it promises can be so fun, and I do find beauty in it sometimes (god knows I am prone to blorbo-posting and yearning on main), but damn that shit ultimately just exists to sell you shit and WORSE to keep people from like. Coming together as a community by isolating ourselves in nuclear families n shit you know? I feel like that Spongebob meme that's like, "Wait you guys [believe romance inherently exists]? I thought [we were just playing pretend]." Like fuck!!!

Also, the way I've genuinely been made to feel like I'm crazy for vaguely insinuating that i think it's fucked up for people to dictate who their partners can sleep with, kiss, be emotionally intimate with, etc... and that includes polyamory too by the way! There's a difference between like, a community having an intervention for your friend about her fuckass toxic loser boyfriend because you care about her wellbeing, and people in a Couple being like "You can't have sex with other people because it makes me uncomfortable and I'm not going to question that belief because society tells me it's normal, so surely it's not just moral emotivism and a cope for my unchecked jealousy issues! This is a completely healthy and functional system btw!" and to be clear-- a fear of losing someone close to you, or even just that they'll like someone else more than they like you, is obviously SUPER normal. (especially when society tells you/makes it so that this person is your primary/only support for all of your financial, emotional, sexual, etc. needs =D) HOWEVER, the way we've agreed as a society that the fix for that is having authority over your partner's autonomy??? Like hello can anyone fucking hear me why have I been gaslighting myself rather than just admitting that this is fucking absurd and I am not the one who's not making any sense.

[future-crab]

The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.

[crumbwinner]

this clip makes me so emotional. i feel like this sometimes, at night especially. That the whole wide world may swallow me whole. That i’m wide-eyed in the face of god. that I’m not a victim of smallness but rather its loving disciple.

[photos-of-space]

A 50-mile crater packed with ancient ice on mars, shot by ESA's Mars Express.

[spookyboywhump]

I do really love it when women write graphic and fucked up things. I feel like so often people react to fucked up fiction with “of course a disgusting man would write this 🙄” and it often carries an unspoken (honestly sometimes spoken) message of “a woman’s PURE and DELICATE and FEMININE mind could NEVER think of something this VILE”. Thank you women in fucked up fiction 🫡

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Fucked up fiction by women you should 100% read:

[ofgeography]

okay this is a list of exclusively bangers, not even counting the fact that WE HEXED THE MOON is on here which obviously makes me feel joyous. but kushiel's dart fuckin RULES as did on sundays she picked flowers and patricia wants to cuddle. 10/10 no notes

[i-am-a-fish]

new game called hi

it's really easy to play

I'll go first!

hi :)

[abandonedcloudyy]

Floccinaucinihinipilification

[abandonedcloudyy]

Sorry I panicked

[i-am-a-fish]

it's ok!!! theres no right or wrong way to play hi, and I'm having fun playing hi with you!!

[abandonedcloudyy]

Awww 🥹 thank you, I have taken the time to not panic now

Hi

[i-am-a-fish]

OH YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS

[snoopylovessoup]

[passengerpuppy]

my friend is coming over to watch a movie tn, thus rescuing me somewhat from my depression funk, and he's handling picking up the pizza and getting drinks, and my job is A) hosting but also B) ordering said pizza and C) sending literally the most comical grainy flash-banged pictures of the drinks i want because i googled pictures of them and took pictures of my computer screen with my little shitty flip phone camera and texted those to him. also i'm in charge of pirating the movie #yay

[passengerpuppy]

actual pics i sent him with no explanation as to the quality

[passengerpuppy]

favorite parts of this evening include watching I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and during a scene early on with fireworks he goes "yo, fireworks-- 4th of july reference!" and after the movie, while i'm infodumping about star wars and breaking bad (lol. just so y'all know i'm Like This in real life too) he hits me with the genius concept of jesse and walt being anakin and obi-wan....... and that would make jane padme???? like ohhhhhhhhhhh my god i need to be hit by a car

edit: or would andrea be padme????? and would that make brock luke?! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

AND this doesn't fit with the aforementioned timeline kind of that i was building here but mike would totally be yoda like LOL. or would he be more mace windu.... i feel like the vision is really coming together now

[throathole]

Manipulating my friend into talking to me by saying hello to them 😈😈😈😈😈

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

when a mutual suddenly shows up in your notes as "Following"

[uncertainlys]

i hope everything works out in the end because i am so so scared

[passengerpuppy]

my friend is coming over to watch a movie tn, thus rescuing me somewhat from my depression funk, and he's handling picking up the pizza and getting drinks, and my job is A) hosting but also B) ordering said pizza and C) sending literally the most comical grainy flash-banged pictures of the drinks i want because i googled pictures of them and took pictures of my computer screen with my little shitty flip phone camera and texted those to him. also i'm in charge of pirating the movie #yay

[passengerpuppy]

actual pics i sent him with no explanation as to the quality

[moldavite]

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice