Mythos Cornner

He/Him Bisexual. DemigodΨ part of Σίγμα ♡Eros♡Aphrodite♡Ìpnos♡Apollo♡ My catolouge of Mythos and my thoughts on it.

[past-lives-lost]

♡Hello Lovelies♡

I usually get most if not all my mythos from this historical/religous project.

Welcome to the Theoi Project, a site exploring Greek mythology and the gods in classical literature and art. The aim of the project is to pr

[past-lives-lost]

@demigoddisaster

[past-lives-lost]

Hermes is a sweetheart

Im going to try to finish that reading today

He says he belives in me that he knows im capable enough to get through it.

Thank you dear friend. You've been too good to me.

[past-lives-lost]

This is a vent...it hurts.

Apollo convinced me to read more into Hyacinth after a fight we had again...we always fight all the time it makes me so sick it hurts so much i can feel that strand of Hyacinth trying to get back to him, crying out. I asked Aphrodite if i loved him and she said i did i asked Eros he said i did to an extent

I am so sick i feel so sick so many emotions...too many emotions...i dont get what im supoosed to find here, this is so frustrating

I wish he didnt lie to me i wish Kronos never touched me i wish i knew Apollo from the start i wish i knew about the strand from Hyacinth i wish this didnt happen this way.

I had had it with Apollo following me around all day pleeing with me when i told him i would talk in the bath when i got there and he just kept showing up kept standing there kept grabbing onto me and i felt it i physically felt it he was trying to prove to show he would put so much energy in to see me and i just broke i broke and i was crying and a mess

I hate Kronos i hate him i hate him i hate him he tricked me he made me think i was something special and im not not to Apollo im nothing like that and Eros tried to help me he tried to make me fall out of love,and it worked! I was free! I said maybe after the wave of awkwardness we could be friends, but Apollo practically vanished and i was ok eith that

Because i was so so so tired of three years of fighting and borderlining loosing him and then loosing him and then back togeather then not then yes then i find out HALF OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS JUST A LIE no wonder i acted like that not only was Apollo lying to my face but Kronos was disguised as him for most of it.

I feel like ive completely lost it.

Eros says that some times people inlove are willing and unfortunately some times they arent when i asked him if i even had a choice anymore to be with Apollo or not.

You tell me. This doesn't feel like love.

This feels like im complying with a strand of somebody else so that Apollo can get back the man he actually loves. And that isnt me...and it wont ever be me. And i need to wake up and stop being so stupid.

Thanatos told me not to turn this on myself...

He said i have to look at trauma but not stair

That i have to allow Eros to work with me and release the tension in my solar and sacral energy points.

It feels awful...

This isnt love...it cant be...

I feel so ill so sick so awful...this was supposed to help.

Every time i open my arms to Apollo i get hit,and i told him that i told him thats why im done thats why i wont do this anymore and yet here i am. Even after my hands got burnned from the candle i made to forgive him and it literally blew up and i got berated by the family here

Even after i found out he lied to me for an entire year straight

Even after everything that went wrong every time i tried to fix this and work it out

Here i am again. And again. And again.

Even after Eros tried to make me fall out of love, aparently Hyacinths desire to return to Apollo is too great...Hyacinths not mine.

His.

And itll always be his.

I feel less sick now...or i did...its growing again.

Apollo gave me a pair of eyeglasses to see the truth in all, told me they even worked on him, out of desperation to see me again

I was throwing up a lot lastnight because when i put them on i saw all of those most valued memories with Apollo for what they were, Kronos. Every beutifull moment was a lie every time i felt safe he was grinning down at me waiting for the day to pull the rug out of sick pleasure.

I hate him. I hate him i hate him. He did so much to me he hurt me so much.

I hate him.

It hurts...

I sat with Aphrodite and cried and cried and cried and she told me i did love Apollo, that he did love me as i am not just for what strand i carry. My heart felt like it shattered. After everything id been through how could that be possible.

But just on the chance that it might make this pain stop just for the sake of ending this gods awful horrible cycle of pain and heartbreak and feeling like im being torn in half. I just agreed

"FINE. ill read about Hyacinth but im not saying im going to be with you. This isnt ok again this isnt better"

I broke down with Aphrodite i was weeping my eyes burnned i was so angry and sad and hurt and everything. I admitted it i admitted i didnt want to go back to Apollo because i knew i was too jelous

When i was with aparently Kronos one if the hundreds of lies he told me was that i was "his one and only" that was so hammered in im not even monogamous i just wanted to be somebodys number one somebodys primary you can have a million lovers i just wanted to be important primary, something up there.

Hes a god

Why would i ever be that.

Maybe i wouldve belived him if i didnt hear him talking to my boyfriend saying that "i can actually have a bond with you. I cant with him, not like this..." i saw his eyes widden after that, and he looked directly at me

It hurt

So bad

Not like this?

I loved him...i loved him more than anything, i didnt know where he stood next to my primary boyfriend honestly because i just loved him, but i wouldve never said that. Not like this...

What???

Not like what??

Its because he couldnt touch me anymore. Not like this meant not physical bond. Do you know do you know how bad that hurt??? Do you know how it broke my heart to channle him so often and look at my own fucking hands and know he was so fucking close and id never be able to have what he gave my partner or everyone else he spoke to with MY BODY.

Gods i hate myself so much im so stupid im so stupid i cant even read about Hyacinth it hurts so bad ive used all my reading time to just cry and cry and cry and it hurts somebody help me some god gear my cry i need help so badly im so sthpid.

Foolish heart so foolish to think he actually loved you like that to think he cared to think he hurt too just like you did just like he told you. How many times did he lie how much did i not hear of him talking that way of comparing our live and saying mine was lesser. I hate myself i hate myself i hate myself this horrible pain has been going on for 5 or 6 years now im so fucking tired of feeling so stupid.

And its always my fault its always

"Why dont you talk to him" "did you hear him out" "give him a chance" "its Apollo he probly didnt mean it" WELL I DONT CARE IF HE DID OR IF I MISHEARD OR IF IM THE ONE WHOS FUCKING WRONG BECAUSE IT HURTS IT FUCKING HURT. THATS ALL I WANT IS JUST SOMEBODY AKNOWLADGE HES HURTING ME PLEASE SOMEBODY AKNOWLADGE HES HURT ME

GODS. I cant fight loving him i cant help it andit contorts my body and my chest i can feel Hyacinths crys to him weaping for him its part of me woven into me and it HURTS. I HURT.

Just somebody aknwoladge i hurt i dont care if its all my fault or if i deserved it or if this is a punishment for something i cant even imagen what this hurts so bad.

And after all this id still fight anyone who says Apollos bad or says anything nasty about him.

After all this id still defend him and yell at people like i always do.

It probly is my fault, im just blind, or stupid, or incapable or unable to manage my emotions enough to just read.

It hurts feeling so stupid

It hurts. Make it stop...id do hhh i cant say that

Id do a lot to just make it go away...i wish it didnt hurt i wish i didnt love him i wish i didnt have all this war inside me

I wish it would work

I wish he loved me like he says he does

I wish Kronos never touched me

I wish i was never violated

I wish i was older when it started

I wish Hyacinths strand wouldnt scream so much in agony when theyr seperated

I wish i knew who i was in all this instead of feeling like Apollo just wants me for him.

Aphrodite says he loves me

Eros says some times love is unwilling and you dont have a choice

Thanatos says to not turn on myself

Hermes says hes sorry

Hermes says hes sorry

My mind hurts, not nearly as bad as my heart, its nice to feel Hermes hand on my thigh, its comforting, he looks sad...i think he heard me crying maybe, he says he wishes he could make it go away, and tucks some of my hair behind my ear...hes a good friend, and an incredible teacher.

I needed a friend

Im going to go talk to him now

[past-lives-lost]

So first off i dispise Platos take on Mythology but i do love his Philosphy, i also though hate him as a person. Secondly he wrote Eros' birth like fanfiction....

VII. SON OF PORUS & PENIA

Plato, Symposium 178 (Greek philosopher C4th B.C.)

Its actually quite funny and i read it for a good laugh, especially when you realize that so many mythogrophers and great poets were talking to eachother (except you Hesiod fuck off for the most part) about where Eros came from and they all generally had the same idea that hes Aphrodites son or at least born the same time she was, and potentially from her as she emerged fully formed and pregnant...others say he was born of Chaos and Nyx

My belife is he emerged at the same time as Aphrodite but not directly related, however due to Aphrodite being born first she matured and took Eros as her own. Tbus the maternal bond, they feel like mother and son but theres something deeper, and that something is none of my buisness.

Eros was the mischievous ancient Greek god of love, a minion and constant companion of the goddess Aphrodite. He lit the flame of love in th

Seneca, Phaedra 186 ff (trans. Miller) (Roman tragedy C1st A.D.) :

Im torn on this one, to an extent i belive it, but the full story is that Phsyke is then married off to Eros binding them togeather forever and I'm just not willing to belive that because there are plenty of people who claim to be his lovers, ive asked him with divination, and hes responded that its true.

From my divination with him its more so that he has many lovers and Phsyke is ok with it in part because she knows she is amoungst the primary if not the primary. So more of a poly take it looks like, wich is...most of the Greek Pantheon, just butchered for sake of dramma.

Side tangent

Think about it, what stirrs more dramma than merital love issues, why write them how they are, why write them content with who they love when money could be made by exadurating certain aspects...dp i fully belive this theory? No not really, no divination or any real source to back it, just an emotional opinion thats quite flimsy in reality.

Apollonius Rhodius, Argonautica 3. 28 ff ff (trans. Rieu) (Greek epic C3rd B.C.) :

Now THIS i belive, as Athena is seen multie times as a goddess who does not experience sexual attraction whatsoever, im not sure if im in agreement with it being because she sprang from Zeus' head but i think thats a possibility, just wondering if it was a goft she requested seeing as how shes so rightfully proud about it.

(Also its an epic not a collecrion of folk based mythos wich means in my eyes its less credible. As they are more drammatized versions of events rather than mildly drammatized or exadurated)

Nonnus, Dionysiaca 7. 110 ff (trans. Rouse) (Greek epic C5th A.D.) :

This is another im prone to belive, as it confirms a lot of divine interactions I've had with Hermes telling me that Zeus had a reason deeper than i understood for going to the extent he did with some women, others not so much but he was the king and that was his right, a different time does not excuse actions however it does provide context to what happened. Something that seems to be lacking in most conversations on Zeus.

So i belive Eros is perhaps an agent of Aphrodite or Fate itself, and Fates dictated this would happen, perhaps as a form of punishment? Unlikely...perhaps as just that is the way fate goes...or Aphrodite whispered to Eros something for her own reasons, im not sure, id have to ask but that also isnt exactly my buisness. This is time spent with them, not an investigation of my family.

Nonnus, Dionysiaca 7. 267 ff :

Again to an extent i belive this, part of my doubt comes from Roman interpertation but i find that Dionysuaca tends to be somewhat accurate when put against divination.

[Personal Note]

Its nice to see Eros depicted here as he is often shown as some one incredibly powerfull, born of the sea with Aphrodite always wowing the gods and surprising them with his unrelenting power. Its something i can relate to to an extent, i worry some days im insane i worry im mad. When they tell me theyr impressed, that they should raise their expectations and standards. I fear im pompus or full of myself, but when i begin to wander that path of thought, Apollo tends to step in and command me to be still for a moment and listen. That he is truly impressed that im not lying, that they love me and they wish i would accept their love rather than run.

Aphrodite has been trying to set me up with Eros for months now, and im just uncomfortable around other men...but she had it and she set me up as did Zeus i know he had a hand in it somehow...maybe i was setup so much because Eros is some one i can relate to, some one i can talk to about things no mortal could really understand, not really...and maybe even some things the gods wouldnt quite know, such as Athena who seemed to have been born powerfull and respected, expected to preform as she was so directly born of Zeus, im not sure...

The Anacreontea, Fragment 28 (trans. Campbell, Vol. Greek Lyric II) (C5th B.C.) :

THIS US SUCH A WHOLESOME INTERACTION i adore it and it sounds exactly like them!!! Ahaha this is so validating it's such a lovely interaction between them

Ahh this article goes on and on and on i will have to come back to it and use this post as a digital bookmark...

This has been so fun and so wonderfull i can't wait to read more

♡

Τα λέμε!!