first you ghost then you trick

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@pathos-p
first you ghost then you trick
concurrent events
Decided to corrupt Deltarune Chapter 5 and immediately got the scariest fucking thing ever
I just got a really really good idea for a visual gag that unfortunately only works in an animated artistic medium that uses chowder style static textures for clothes. And now I’m pissed off that I can’t find a series of words to write a description of the gag that would have any chance of working as a joke because it requires too much setup and the punchline wouldn’t be punchy in a text medium. (T ^ T)
[In a Chowder style cartoon world where clothing uses static background textures]
Character A: *Accidentally spills something on her shirt and it leaves a stain*
*Looks around to see if anyone noticed.*
*Takes a few steps to the side, moving along the static background texture causing the stain to ‘slide’ away and not be visible anymore*
[later in the episode, a completely different scene with completely different framing]
Character A: *Walks along with the rest of the cast across the screen into the same spot on the screen where she was when she spilled on her shirt. The stain was on the same spot in the background texture this whole time she just happened to avoid it throughout the episode til now. This causes the stain to ‘slide’ onto her shirt again, but shes further from the ‘camera’ now so the stain covers way more of her shirt.*
Character B: *Points the stain out and laughs at her for managing to get such a huge stain on her clothes*
Character A: *Gets embarrassed and defensive saying it’s the shot composition’s fault*
Character C: *Looks up and scolds the animator for not doing the cast’s laundry between scenes*
Faceless animator from off screen: *Tries to make excuses about not having time and trying to meet the episode deadline*
Character C: *Crosses her arms and turns her head away, says she’s disappointed in them*
Offscreen animator’s giant hand: *Reluctantly grabs the static clothing texture and pulls it away*
Character A: *Her shirt clothing texture is replaced with blank white void. She gets embarrassed and tries to cover herself up as if she was naked*
[Cut to short live action sequence of the disembodied hand of the animator throwing the static texture cloth into the washing machine, adding stain remover and starting the machine.]
[Time passes. Cut to disembodied hand tapping its fingers impatiently right before the washing machine dings complete. The hand throws it in the dryer. Resumes tapping impatiently]
[Time Passes. Cut to disembodied hand seemingly being asleep, then the dryer dings waking them up. Hand takes texture out of the dryer. Starts bringing the texture back to the set.]
Character C, offscreen: *Shouts at the animator demanding they iron it too*
[Cut to disembodied hand frantically ironing the texture.]
[Cut back to animated scene with main cast still at the same scene. Character A is still embarrassed and trying to cover herself up. Character B is asleep and loudly cartoonishly snoring. Character C is looking up at where ‘the animator’ is, impatiently tapping her foot and scowling]
Disembodied Hand: *Frantically tries to put the texture back in place. Accidentally puts it on upside down.*
Character C, scowling: *Raises an eyebrow*
Disembodied hand: *Frantically rearranges the texture and finally gets it in place correctly*
Character C, eyebrow still raised: *Asks if they’re forgetting something*
Disembodied hand, ‘standing’ on the ‘ground’ of the scene with its middle and ring finger posed as legs and its pointer and pinky as arms: *Goes into dogeza pose and desperately apologizes*
Character C: *Accepts apology, but gives a threatening warning not to let it happen again*
Disembodied hand: *’Runs’ offscreen frantically*
[The episode resumes as if nothing happened. This gag is never repeated and is never addressed for the rest of the show’s running]
Tome tome tome tome
^ their favorite character trope is “when someone desperately tries to keep everyone happy in a reality they’ve designed” for an incredibly normal reason
^ their favorite character trope is “when a character tries to take control of a situation in the hopes it’ll make everyone happy but it only ends up with them being universally hated” for an incredibly normal reason
Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.
Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.
The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were
"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right
There are a lot of people in the notes saying, basically, "Yeah, that's polyester for ya!"
but, the thing is
even polyester fabric was higher quality in the past
yes, not all of it, but, still, a noticeable amount of older polyester was...nicer.
yeah, it would still get picks and hold on to every bit of underarm odor, and that's on top of no-one knowing about microplastic shedding
but a 1950s Wash'n'Wear shirt, or 1970s double knit pantsuit, or 1980s neon sweatshirt, or a 1990s slinky knit or crushed velour mock turtleneck...so many of them would have been significantly higher quality than the fast fashion of today.
i work in historical costume. i work in a big-ass warehouse, with hundreds of thousands articles of clothing dating back over 100 years (for original pieces).
the BLINDING difference in clothing quality between even the 1990s and the mid-2000s...not even going in to the decline in quality of clothing made in natural fibers (jeans with elastane, i'm looking at you), I've got faux-leather trousers from 1980s that are in near-mint condition, even after being hired and worn repeatedly for the past 40 years. we get donations of clothing that shows and films have bought online for contemporary shows that are disintegrating after being used on one show, for like....10 days, max.
don't even get me started on the seam allowances we used to get in clothes, because the assumption was you'd alter it at some point...
they hate you. they hate the planet. they have drip fed you worse and worse quality clothing until you don't even realize you're being sold Garbage
i have a suggestion
what a beautiful wedding!
we used to say shrimp heaven now. Do you remember that? and we used to laughhhhh
which could mean nothing.
"Good Morning, Rose"
My short story for the wlw anthology GLIMM*R!
The fake me
almost entirely unprompted, a cis person on reddit accurately explained how most people see trans women as at least slightly subhuman. instances like that always make me feel ten million times better than any kind of deliberate attempt at "validation", like.
fuck man, yeah, thank you for saying that. everyone hates it when I say that, they get mad at me, but you just understand it without me having to say it. and you said it for me, so I don't even have to be the one everyone hates for saying it. I feel so protected.
tumblr staff doesn’t want you to know this, but a great way to treat small amounts of granulation tissue to prevent it from becoming hypergranulation inside the canal of your neovagina is to make a hypersaline solution (more in tense version of regular saline) and soak a tampon in it, and then insert that tampon into your vaginal canal
now I’m sure if you are dealing with granulation tissue during early recovery from bottom surgery you’re probably thinking gosh fuck I’m a trans girl i’ve never had to put a tampon in in my life how do I do this…and I’d love to show you but
ITS THE POST THAT GOT ME BLURRED HIII
love how much tumblr hates women lol
anyways, if you're a trans girl and have never used a tampon before, here's some tips
- you shouldn't be able to really feel it, if you do it isn't tilted correctly or it's not far enough in. in my experience the easiest way to put in a tampon is squatting and tilting slightly forward but experiment and see what feels best for you
- it's completely normal to take a few attempts to get in correctly , that's what the string is for (easy removal)
- if you lose the string you can just Go Up There and pull it out, it's just more messy
- even though you don't bleed, do not leave it in for long. i'm serious. you can still get toxic shock syndrome, it's not pretty and you will need serious medical intervention. change tampons at least every 8 hours
- probably common sense but ill add anyways, tampons expand when absorbing fluid! do not worry if it's a little struggle to get out that's normal (but if you're having a REALLY hard time that is not, probably size down your tampon)
hope any of this helps!
From the replies:
What is granulation tissue?
[Cyprozombiegirl] Granulation tissue is a normal tissue that forms underneath where the skin will form, its bright red and shiny (and painful to the touch). Unfortunately when the injured/cut area is consistently wet often too much of this tissue forms and prevents skin from growing over it. When this happens it’s called hypergranulation and needs to be chemically burned away. If you’ve got some but not a lot though, not enough to technically be hypergranulation but on the way there, you can use hypersaline to treat it.
It can’t stop anything once you’ve fully got hypergranulation, but if it’s only granulation it seems to help a lot. I found out about this from a friend whose special interest is bottom surgery
To Make The HyperSaline Solution
[Cyprozombiegirl] mix 2 teaspoons of table salt with 1 cup of warm water (which you’ve boiled for at least 20min) in a clean container until the salt dissolves. soak tampon in it. Insert tampon (this can be tricky because it will rapidly expand, so I suggest getting one for light flow).
[Dilsdoes] hi! just a note: make sure the salt youre using is non iodized! generally for saline solutions used internally like this you want to avoid iodized salt. it tends to irritate mucous membranes
Further information on Tampons can be searched online or on the Tampon box.
ID: Censored image for "breaking Tumblr guidelines".
A diagram for how to apply a tampon in a (neo)vagina.
1. Tampon inside a tampon applicator, with tampon chord (a string used to pull the tampon out).
2. Hand with the tampon itself pointed towards the palm and body. Index finger over the Tampon applicator plunger.
3. Spreading vaginal opening with the other hand, and placing the tampon with tampon applicator towards the vaginal entrance. Legs spread apart.
4. Push tampon applicator plunger with index finger, with tampon inside, to push it further inside.
5. Take out tampon applicator. The tampon should be secured inside the vaginal canal, with tampon chord hanging outside of the vagina.
End ID.
Ideally you wanne boil the water when the salt is already in, because food grade salt might not be entirely sterile (especially cause it's usually in your not sterile cupboard for quite a while). Also the way it's indicated in the diagram it kinda looks like the tampon is not inserted far enough, it's very uncomfortable if you don't get it in far enough. I don't have experience with applicators, but if you use your index finger (depending on your exact anatomy) you are gonne have to get pretty much your entire finger in there. If you use an applicator, compare to your index finger to get an idea.