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DEAR READER
Sade Olutola
PR's Tumblrdome
Keni
Three Goblin Art
hello vonnie
Stranger Things
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
occasionally subtle
Misplaced Lens Cap
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
almost home
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n
#extradirty
we're not kids anymore.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
dirt enthusiast
Love Begins
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Italy
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Romania
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Israel
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
@patrick-stumpd
unironically having lots of musician friends who send demos and direct downloads of their music means my favorite artist is Unknown Artist and my favorite album is Unknown Album
the emotions i’ve felt while staring into this…
there nothing in the world like bumping "CRAZYASSBLADEEJUKE3" by unknown artist while enjoying a brisk walk to the store
fedex trying to say my package will be here by the end of the day when the package is still like 4 states away. that driver must be doing like 150 all the way here
i let him hit cause. uh. well i’m gonna be honest it’s cause i fucked up my parry timing
#they are also SO SO SO LOUD#people don't tell you that about hot air balloons i don't think#you think there will be a possibility for romance#there will not#you will be floating over a vineyard#with A ROARING FLAME SO CLOSE#SO LOUD#and then condensation drips from the balloon#while a guy whose hobby is hot air balloons#tolerates the presence of you and like six other people#because it's the only way he can afford to be in his hot air balloon#reblog
tumblr is, if anything, the Appalachia of social media...easy to get lost, sparsely populated, out of the loop with fast-moving modern trends. Attached to tradition. Close-knit communities. Believe in "talk shit, get hit." Everyone is doing their own thing in their own obscure little holler. Prone to pulling the most inventive turns of phrase you've ever heard out of nowhere. Somebody's always starting a racket. We sometimes repel outsiders with much aggression. Lots of talk about hell and damnation to be found. Everybody tends to forget about us for some reason
What is pirating media but the moonshining of the internet
fuuuck dude i accidentally left my microfiber cloth hanging out of my back pocket and now a bunch of best buy employees are trying to cruise me
Tricky thing, psychic paper. Yeah. Can't let your mind wander when you're handing it over.
The Empty Child // Rogue
Your favourite wildly impractical giant robot piloting interface, you know, from that show
VR cockpit where all the controls are hovering transparent holograms
Ass up with your limbs rigidly encased in complicated machinery
One of those multi-axial spinning chair things like at space camp
Force feedback armature so that you have to do Big Steppy to make the robot walk
Dangling from a full-body suspension harness with vague bondage overtones
Wired directly into your spine so if the robot gets hurt it fries your brain
Oh god there's so many toggle switches
Riding on the outside of the robot like a deranged cowboy
Immobilised with tent—ah, *life support* tubes stuffed into all of your orifices
Literally just a fucking steering wheel
Immersed in some sort of goo
Other (specify)
The best thing about the notes on this post is the folks who are looking over the options and remarking that giant robot media as a genre is strikingly horny as though they're just realising this now.
I am so untrusting of minors on discord as well as feeling bad for them and I think both feelings can coexist
I have been in public discord communities where the majority of fans are minors and honestly the behavior they exhibit is both inappropriate and shows a lack of caution
There have been kids I've seen who immediately post pictures of their face in photo-sharing channels, but it gets worse than that. They've posted baby pictures, pictures of them with friends and family members (mentioning those people by name as well) pictures at locations with captions relating that location to where they live ("me at the park by my house!") pictures of them at school.
If you are on semi-decent terms with these kids, and you ask, they'll often tell you what state they live in. Plenty of kids outside the U.S. will straight up tell you what country they live in as if to brag. If you ask someone what time it is for them out of concern that they're staying up to late, they'll tell you what time zone they live in and often end up talking about sleep schedule, home life, etc.
Kids will turn on their cameras in a public vc if someone else has theirs on too. Kids will feel embarrassed that they're on mute in a vc and always explain it with "my mic isn't working," never, "I'm not comfortable sharing my voice"
They'll share personal information like interpersonal relationships those in the server aren't a part of. They'll link their other social medias, even private ones. They'll introduce themselves in introduction channel with real name, age, and often their neurodivergency or even their triggers. And if you have a vent channel, they'll use it like a substitute therapist.
If you're a minor in a public Discord server, I get that you want to make friends, I really do. But you have GOT to be so careful in these situations. You CANNOT trust people, no matter how nice they are to you. You should ALWAYS exercise caution when operating and being part of a discord server. Please, this is not me being a wet blanket, this is me trying to help you be safe.
(P.S. Imo, minors should never be mods if 18+ people who know what they're doing are on the server)
to succeed in adult friendship you must remember the key tenets of child friendship:
Play Toys
Play Pretend
Snack Time
successful examples from my travels:
my SO and i have a projector. our cool neighbors have a vast dvd collection. fundamentally these are toys. we have those neighbors over for movie nights. Play Toys. more broadly shared hobbies fall into this category but it's extra fun if there's Equipment to admire and share.
ttrpgs are obvious but invaluable examples of Play Pretend. HOWEVER your options are not limited to this. i started a local writing group and this is also Play Pretend bc we all talk about our stories together. there are many such creative endeavors in this world.
having someone over for a meal is Snack Time. if you make a lil thing of it and eat at the table and make it nice with dessert and a fancy beverage to share it feels very grown up. and you will feel impressed with yourself for it. but it scratches the same itch as trading fruit snacks and suchlike.
of course these can be mixed and matched. most activities are enhanced by Snack Time if your friend targets enjoy breaking bread together.
and one begets the other. if you Play Pretend with someone for long enough they may eventually tell you about Toys they have and if you want to play too they'll probably let you. if they're nice.
life can be lonely when we live in separate boxes and worry about money all the time. this is what makes friendships hard, not growing older. but the antidote to isolation is connection, and the oldest wisdom we ever learn: share your toys. share your games. share your snacks.
one of the worst irl debuffs is "something in the kitchen smells weird but you cant find it". you have to just do the rituals and hope for the best (taking out the trash, boiling water down the sink, look for lost potatoes etc)
GOOD NEWS GANG. it was definitely one of these things
it was too much i had to make my own post
line cook here. ACCURATE
if you don't get the hate, here's what you don't understand.
it takes up to 2 hours to close down the kitchen.
The last 60-90 minutes before closing time you do almost no cooking because the restaurant doesn't have many people in it and you've already cooked most of their diners.
So if someone walks in during, like, the last hour, the cook is in the middle of an industrial deep clean of the kitchen.
(these numbers can vary quite a bit from place to place but i have worked several restaurants with these actual times and the concept remains the same)
Say the place closes at 10. If you wait til the restaurant is already closed to start all your cleaning duties, you'll be there until at least midnight.
More than that your boss knows that on an average night you can start your clean up as soon as the last rush ends and get out of there around 10:45, even 10:15 on a slow night if you get lucky. That means there are plenty of restaurants where if you do take until midnight the manager is going to come up to you at some point that week and ask you what went wrong that night, and you'd better have an answer.
So this example restaurant closes at 10 pm. The dinner rush ends around 8:30, and shortly after that the cook is going to start getting every single dish possible over to the dishwasher because the dishwasher always gets hit hard and late, and the machine runs for 2 full minutes and only holds so many dishes, so the way that works out is if you wait an extra 30 minutes to give the dishwasher all your stuff it can mean adding like 60 minutes to the end of his shift. And you're gonna KEEP finding shit to send to the dishpit right up until you leave probably.
all these little square and rectangle containers in this cold table have to be pulled out and changed over into new containers, replaced by new full ones, or in some cases filled from larger containers in the back, which can result in even more empty containers to send to the dishwasher.
while it's all pulled apart to do this, you have to clean up all the spilled food and sauce and juices and stuff from the joints and ledges and shelves and drip trays
Once you get your line changed over in this way, and fully stocked, anytime someone orders something that makes use of a bunch of that stuff, you have to restock and re-clean it some. It might already be covered in plastic. Some of it might already be stuck in the back to make room to take apart your cutting board counter to clean. To cook a dish isn't TOO much of a problem at this point, but you're really hoping for zero orders because you still have so much other cleaning to do.
Meanwhile the salad bar and appetizer section and server station and everybody are all doing the same thing. Even the bartenders are stocking olives and lemons and sending back whisks and stir spoons and shakers and empty 4quart storage containers that used to hold the back-up lemons and olives and things. Every section is dumping their must-be-cleaneds to the dishpit as fast as possible because early and fast is the only thing they can do to to help that dishpit not absolutely drown into overtime.
The poor dishwasher is always the last to clock out, soaking wet and exhausted.
Around this time you probably scrub the flat top, which has turned black from cooked on grease and is still about 500 degrees. Line cooks are divided in opinion on water-based or oil based cleaning methods for this, but they all involve scrubbing with (usually) a brick of pumice stone using every ounce of your strength while you try not to burn yourself
you scrub it from fully blackened to gleaming silver and now if somebody orders something that needs the flat top to cook, you can either fuck up your cleaning job or fake it in a couple frying pans and pass that tiny fuck you down to your dishwasher (who usually understands, especially if you help them take the garbage out or clean your own floor drain later)
If there's deep fried stuff on the menu then the fryers have to be cleaned out, which includes straining the oil out into enormous and super-heavy pots full of oil so hot that if you spill on yourself then it's probably a hospital visit and if you slip and fall face first into it it'll be the last thing you ever do.
Then you gotta scrub out the fryer. Like you gotta take the (hot) screen out and reach your arm down into the weird rounded pipes and curved areas (so hot, burn you if you brush against them hot) and scrub off whatever is down there
Depending on your kitchen you might have to do up to four of these. Then you'll have to pour the (dangerously hot) oil back in
oh, and if you didn't dry the pipes and get ALL the water out of the trap and tank?
water reacts with hot oil in a sort of mentos and coke way that can send a tidal wave of oil past the open flame of the pilot light ...HUGE dangerous mess and/or burn down the kitchen if the oil lights up.
Unless! If the oil has been used too hard and needs to be changed, it's time to carry those open topped super heavy pots full of will-kill-you-hot oil and dump them in the barrel outside by the dumpsters so you can put room temp fresh oil in the fryers. whew!
The clean up is not just some light wiping down that can be easily interrupted, is what i'm saying.
You might have to do some kind of walk-in duty (moving around 50lb cases of lettuce and 50lb bags of onions to get to the stacks of five gallon buckets full of salad dressings and sauces to move so you can reach the giant metal pots and bus tubs full of prep and get it all organized and make sure it's all labeled and i have to stop now i'm having flashbacks)
THE POINT IS
by 15 or however many minutes to close, the line cook is doing an intense deep clean and probably has the whole stove taken apart to detail.
For some industrial stoves this means lifting off large cast iron plates that weigh like 20 lbs each and are still quite hot. Whatever metal burners are on there, you gotta take off and clean, you can see here the lines that indicate the large thick cast iron rectangles that sit on top of the burners to allow heavy pots to rest on. Those five (each has one front burner hole and one back burner hole, see?) have to be lifted off and cleaned with soap and a wire brush usually, and then the underneath area also has to be cleaned because a lot of shit falls through the burner holes on a busy night.
if you didn't do it when you did the flat top you have to do the grease trap (which can be like a full five minutes and is always disgusting).. You gotta clean out all the little gas jets in each burner with a wire or something so the burners all flame evenly, and sometimes you have to remove some of the natural gas piping that connects the burners to access where you have to clean.
you gotta clean out the bottom of the oven and the wire racks, and, oh gods, you gotta take down the filter vents from the hood fans above the stove.
See all the lined parts along the top of the wall?
those are hood vents, and as they pull air up they also pull a lot of grease and they have to be taken down and cleaned, then you gotta climb up there and scrub where they go before you put them back...
And then there's the mopping and floor drains and...
Anyway, that's what the line cook is doing when you walk in fifteen minutes before closing and order something that needs to be cooked on that stove. They are doing an entire industrial cleaning of a professional kitchen.
In some restaurants maybe one or two of these jobs will be every other night or even only twice a week, but in many, possibly most kitchens, ALL of these things happen EVERY night. You don't want to leave any food mess that might attract insects or rodents for one thing, so a really good kitchen is as close to brand new as you can get it every night.
IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO ORDER SOMETHING ANYWAY, HERE IS WHAT TO DO
open with an apology and ask the server to go ask what the cook would prefer you to order.
Any good server will already know what the cook is hoping for and what will make their line cook go into the walk in and scream. If it's significantly less than an hour to close and they say some variant of "oh anything is fine" they are either telling the lie their boss wants them to say, or they actually do not know what their line cook wants, and you can either use human connection and a conspiratorial just-between-us tone to get them to drop the customer-is-always-right act, or get them to actually go ask the cook.
It might be as specific as "the lasagna is easiest on the kitchen" or it might be a simple guideline like "nothing that requires the flat top" or "any of the sautés are easy" but a good line cook will probably have a system for if they have to make a couple of the most popular items after they start their close, so the answer is likely to include something most people like and you should be good to order that.
but for the love of all that's holy, please only do so at great need. Leave that last 30-60 minutes to the truly desperate and the crew's duties.
This applies to almost all businesses, by the way. Closing time should be interpreted as "The time everyone who doesn't work there should be out the door."
If you are not sure what to order when it's an hour or less from closing, but you genuinely need some food, and the waitstaff/chef aren't being helpful with concrete guidance...
Can you eat a salad*?
Most places have some sort of cold salad, leafy greens and vegetables that can be eaten raw, like cherry tomatoes, slices of cucumber, carrot curls, etc, and a dressing that can be squirted on top from a bottle.
A salad usually doesn't involve cooking, so that spares the grill. Yes, it involves moving or even replacing new plastic wrap (which can be annoying, which is understandable), using a food handling glove, and putting stuff onto a plate or into a bowl...but nobody has to stand around cooking it. Assemble on a dish, drizzle on the dressing, pass it off to the waitstaff.
It also contains things your body needs. Proteins could be pre-shredded cheeses, hardboiled eggs, cold cuts of pre-cooked meat. It could come with croutons or tortilla chips for a carb. Fats (yes you need some to be healthy, or you will accumulate brain and nerve damage) come from the eggs, the cheeses, meats, and the dressing, so that's covered just fine as-is.
You could also ask for "a slice of bread, nothing needs to be toasted, just one of those little pats of butter/little container of jam/peanut butter on the side if you have it" to get a carbohydrate into you. This one works best if you know the place does sandwichy and/or breakfasty foods, as they often have little thingies of jam, jelly, or peanut butter, hey look, nothing to scrub afterward.
But salads are more likely to be a thing in restaurants, and they're more likely to be dietary-restrictions friendly. (You can ask for no dressing if you're low sodium, no croutins if you're gluten free, no cheese if you're lactose intolerant, though most cheeses aren't too bad, etc, etc, etc...)
Remember the phrase "beggars can't be choosers."
Do NOT get upset if they refuse to serve you a 3 course meal. You're in their End Of A Very Long Day time. Unless you're going to roll up your sleeves and help (and I'm pretty you would actually be forbidden to help for Health Code reasons, as you are a customer, not an employee who has passed all the food handling safety courses, etc), you don't get to be A Bitch about any of this.
So, you don't get to be A Bitch about any of this.
Salads are probably your best bet*. Maybe soup if they have a microwave to reheat it, or a cold sandwich that isn't toasted first...which admittedly anyone ordering a meal that late kinda deserves. (The reason why the bread is toasted is to help prevent it from turning soggy within minutes of having a condiment slathered across it, or keep it from tearing if the butter/pb is cold and thus hard.)
But phrase it politely, as in ask,
"Would a salad be quick & easy for the kitchen?"
...
(*I do admit I make this suggestion having NOT served in the food industry for a few decades. That being said, in terms of the least amount of work, throwing some salad bits into a bowl creates the least mess and takes the least amount of time to fix, compared to actually cooking something. As always, YMMV, and it honestly depends on what the restaurant serves. Try to tailor your requests...and always start out by asking if they can find out whatever the chef is able to cook at this late a time in the evening.)
Reblog to have the most homoerotic year of your life 2024
do you wanna hang out tonight my curse was finally lifted
me when my depressive episode is suddenly over
