I'm not dead yet, so I guess I'll be alright

Maxx // 18+ // Queer ( they/them, it/its )

[chillyfeetsteak]

you thought tumblr in the 2010s was bad but last year i joined a community garden and a member in his 60s just emailed blasted all of us a ten page pdf call out post about one of the other member's problematic behavior and rules violations

[chillyfeetsteak]

one of his (many) complaints is that she is wiccan and has been actively recruiting female members to her coven during garden meetings (true) and also planting invasive species (rules violation) in the four corners of the garden (rules violation, planting in communal space) and when they dig them up to remove them there are jars filled with talismans and feathers and stuff in the dirt underneath

[chillyfeetsteak]

yes she's white yes she has dreads

[chillyfeetsteak]

she got kicked out lol

[milfyspamton]

anyone remember what these things are called like little cartoony expressive doohickies i think they have a real name but i can’t remember

[milfyspamton]

im not fucking crazy.

[milfyspamton]

if i have one more person say sparkles on this post im gonna blow i swear to god

[evengirlierballs]

They're squeans I'm pretty sure! If they pop like that anyway. But the term for this kind of "symbol to refer to the general vibe of something in art" is called "Emanata" because it emanates from a person or object.

[creepymutelilbugger]

what the fuck. comics are magic

[charlesoberonn]

somebody put a quimpsy spurl on my blorbo

[eirapparent]

she quimps on my jarns til I nittles

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[anglaised]

everytime u go outside ur spending $60 automatically its crazy $60 is the new $20

[zsnes]

[ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2]

Tags via @redtailfins

[taproot-bread]

You know that weird phase where you are not asleep yet but your mind starts doing whatever and you can't really control it? Yeah.

[taproot-bread]

[taproot-bread]

I'M????????????

[cobaltspartan]

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?

[stuckinapril]

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living

[stuckinapril]

So tempting to keep embarking on the same self destructive cycle over & over & over again . But at some point you have to put ur foot down w ur own behaviors & be the thing that truly saves u

[fangs-4-fags]

This world is so beautiful. People are shipping Ryan gosling and markiplier. Because they were both in space movies you see

[fangs-4-fags]

Tumblr users love to do things like this. I DO NOT mean this in a mocking way to be completely clear. I think it's cute. It reminds me of back in the day when people shipped jack frost and elsa cause they both have ice powers.

[fangs-4-fags]

Or like the superwholock thing. Tumblr users like to go "I like this thing AND that thing.. What if my FAVORITE CHARACTERS met each other? Would that be cool or WHAT!" And the thing is it's absolutely adorable

[fangs-4-fags]

You can say it's cringe or bad or missing the point of the movie all you want but I don't care. Yeah man, I bet it would be really cute if there was a happy ending and the blood murder man (in space) got saved by the dorky science teacher (in space) and they had yaoi moments. I'm so glad you're having fun

[scribefindegil]

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

[geese-in-flight]

I was dating someone who wanted to be accommodating and work with me to figure things out but lacked the EQ to do so in any effective way. It was my first relationship and I was still figuring out what being ace meant for me. It’s been eight or nine years, but I still remember very clearly the moment I realized we’d been approaching the entire discussion as if my orientation was the problem to be solved, and that it would be equally as valid to say that hers was.

She was significantly less impressed with this revelation than I was, but I tried to hold on to it ever since (although obviously the real problem wasn’t either one of us, but the mismatch and the lack of tools to deal with it). I think it’s super important to remember that we aren’t the ones in the wrong while our theoretical partners are the ones in the right. I was surprised by how much I’d internalized the assumption and I don’t think I’m the only one.

[ineffectualdemon]

The other frustrating aspect of this is allo relationships will often have periods of time where libido does not match (I'm not derailing and this will swing back to asexual people)

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

And asexual people would stop getting shit for being themselves.

[scribefindegil]

Yeah, exactly! There are many different forms of intimacy, physical and emotional, and we need to stop viewing non-sexual forms of intimacy as inherently lesser.

And also you're right that while this post is specifically about the asexual experience, these problems affect everyone; desire gaps, whether temporary/circumstantial or ongoing, affect many if not most long-term relationships. And the solution needs to reaffirm bodily autonomy and compassion for everyone, not just carve out a specific exception for ace people. Too frequently I see people and institutions that, even when they're attempting to be affirming, essentially say "Well this is what a committed relationship Needs To Look Like . . . unless you already id as ace I guess" instead of allowing their general idea of what relationships can look like to expand and become less prescriptive.

No one should be pressured into sex they don't want. This should be a basic and non-negotiable tenet of feminism. But it goes out the window as soon as it's in the context of a committed relationship that isn't otherwise abusive.

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[elliespectacular]

Happy 24-6-01!

[draconym]

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

[aj-living-life]

Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.

[aj-living-life]

Fun update: event was canceled because literally nobody rsvp'd to the AI flier.

[alphacrone]

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

[valtsv]

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

[valtsv]

if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me

[zoazoaa]

I'm a time traveller from the 20th century. I travelled 26 years into the future to deliver this message. At a speed of 1 year per year