The Life of a Teenager in NYC @patrick44523-blog - Tumblr Blog

Some days my greatest achievement is not hurting myself/killing myself.

#depression #anxiety #self #trying #so hard

Since I'm trying to get back into the shape I was in high school I'm trying to eat healthy. Today I premade these salads for lunch this week.

#salad #eating healthy #healthy #healthy habits #vscocam #vsco #dedicated

I really like to be behind the wheel of the Golf. This is my thinking space.

#golf #tdi #vw #volksworld #dashbored #night #drives #rock #vscocam #vsco #manhattan #green #mk7 #2015

I’m thinking way out of the box for this next step in my life.

Today Lourdes and I made breakfast. She made the pancakes and I made the bacon. Yumm!

#pancakes #bacon #breakfast #lourdes #perfect #yumm #food #delicious

Oh God.

Why God have you brought down this curse on me, making me so sad, and crazy?

Can you rid me of this anxiety?

Can you help me find happiness in sobriety?

Why does death seem like the best answer for me?

I love her and my family, but I don’t want to stay.

At the end of the day, I’m not okay.

I need help.

#please help #i dont know how much more I can take #please make it stop #depression #depressed

I really don't know how much more of this I can take.

Lourdes made me this comic for our 6 Month anniversary and it is literally the best most thoughtful gift that I've ever received. I can't show you guys what's inside but trust me it's awesome. Lourdes is seriously the best. Thank you

#Lourdes #comic #gift #best thing ive ever gotten #thank you

One of the best days I've ever had. All dressed up and fancy with Lourdes about to go out for a nice dinner.

#Lourdes #fancy #couple #dinner #date #night #aldo #steve madden #winston #black #white #dressy #love #girlfriend #hot #dressed up #special

The Life of a Teenager in NYC turned 2 today!

Thanks Tumblr for reminding me! We've turned two guys! Woohoo!

#tumblr birthday #tumblr milestone

I've been taking advantage of my Winter Break and have been visiting museum after museum. I took this at the Metropolitan Museum of Art the other day. A piece of Egypt in New York City.

#MET #Metropolitan Museum of Art #Egypt #museum #exhibit #NYC

I can't help but cry every time I think about my sister. She was going to change the world. I miss her so much.

So this is how my New Year has started out. Yesterday (1/2/15) my dad bought a 2015 Volkswagen Golf! This is how the whole day went yesterday. First we found the one that my dad absolutely wanted. We test drove it. We bargained with the salesman and then bought the car. The dark picture was the first time we brought it home. And the final picture is this afternoons odometer reading, 123 miles haha

#2015 #Volkswagen #Golf #TDI #new #car #White

2014

At the end of 2013 I wrote a reflection of the year and I was very content with the way that year went. This year, 2014, I cannot say the same thing. In the reflection (linked above) I called 2013 "the best year yet for me" and I hoped for the same this year. Unfortunately, 2014 played out much differently.

2014 brought me many hardships and challenges. For those of you that avidly read my blog you know that I lost my little sister this year in a traumatic way. This event was easily the hardest thing I've had to deal with. I've lost people before but not the way that I lost her. Besides that I've faced many other challenges this year with my mental state. Although, I'm getting better, every day is a struggle. Although there were many negative moments this year I do not believe in dwelling on them any further. Even though 2014 seems like a bad year for me there was still some good in it.

In 2014 I have learned a lot not only about myself but about life as a whole. I am not claiming that I know everything at 20 years old. That's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that I gained some valuable life lessons and I know I still have more to learn. Besides the countless lessons I've learned I discovered who my true friends are. They say, real friends are not only there for your rise but also for your struggle. I really learned who I can count on and who was faking. Shout out to those who are really there for me, you guys know who you are. Also this year I started going out with Lourdes.

So that's my year in review. Sort of a mess of a year but I'm a mess and I'm working on it. Happy New Year to all of you! I wish you guys all the best in 2015. Hopefully it'll be a good year for all of us.

#2014 #reflection #Happy New Year #All the best #Hello 2015

I was in the winter wonderland known as Vermont last weekend. The snow was truly beautiful. The roads were both fun and empty.

#Vermont #snow #driving #no texting and driving

The best part is..

that I can just be myself with Lourdes. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. I can just be me and she loves me for me. I don't have to hide anything or fake anything. I can talk about cars, art, or technology and she actually listens to me. I can send her a video of me lip singing and she'll tell me it was the cutest thing. She's one of the only people that make me feel like I matter, that my little quirks and idiosyncrasies are wonderful. I've never felt so loved before. I can't even begin to express how much I love her.

#Lourdes #relationship #love #true #happy #loved

Thanks Tumblr for being awesome.

#tumblr #thank you #depression #depressed #awesome

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