concept: crowley with a roomba
i can’t decide if he’d bully it like his plants if it wasn’t vacuuming quickly enough, or alternatively, he’d TRY to bully it but then it beeps at him and he can’t bring himself to and it just becomes his Pet Roomba That He Loves But Won’t Admit That He Loves Because He Is A Demon And It Is A Robot
#the roomba bullies him (via ratkingbrady)
yes. he tries to get rid of it but he can’t bring himself to so now the roomba is just terrorizing him in his own home. but at least his floors are clean
he can’t walk around without the roomba sniping his ankles
the roomba likes aziraphale, it just purrs when he’s around. crowley only gets sniped when noone else is around to witness it.
Aziraphale LOVES the roomba. He thinks it’s cute, he wants to get one for the shop, but he’s worrried it would knock piles of books over or something. He ‘feeds’ it crumbs and tells it it’s a “good roomba”.
Crowley just glares at it through all of this, knowing he won’t be believed if he complains about how much its victimising him and watches it acting all innocent.
Aziraphale leaves, Crowley gets up and feels a pain in his ankle. “You are not a good roomba.” he growls.
I’m pretty sure there’s something in the book about machinery they use working according to their belief (like how Crowley’s sound system doesn’t have any speakers but works anyway because he doesn’t know you need speakers)
So really there’s two possibilities here:
(Humorous) Crowley believes the roomba is out to get him (possibly because it unknowingly bumps into his feet a few times the first night), and so, therefore, it is. Aziraphale believes the roomba is very cute and reminiscent of a small, loving pet, and so, around him, it is.
(Angst) It’s Crowley’s roomba, which makes it attuned to his thoughts and perceptions of the world, and so it treats people differently according to how much Crowley likes them.
@pavlovs-peeing-goats
