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Sade Olutola
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cherry valley forever
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Today's Document
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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One Nice Bug Per Day
DEAR READER
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@paxphantomi
it is so wild to me how "intelligence" as a concept legitimately does not exist like is not a real thing that can be measured and yet so many people i know who are otherwise willing to accept generally agreed upon elements of this world as being false and idealistic constructions cling to the categorizations of "smart" and "not smart" like their life depends on it
welcome to tumblr! the Queerest Place On The Internet!
you'll never be bo- oh. you're one of them. don't worry transwoman, we still love you here!! just follow these simple rules and you'll be never bored again!!
never ever be mad about anything. even if its not specific to being transfem. even if its the people trying to stalk you and make you kill yourself
dont post selfies. u probably shouldnt do that anyway..dont you know basic internet safety??
have you tried being transmasc? or just nonbinary? or maybe a gnc man? there's tons of Communities here if you are
sorry!! something went wrong on our end this should have been rule number one!! be white no matter what
i think that this has become one of the larger transfem blogs on this website in the past week or so. my messages tab is filled with rotting corpses and my following tab is steadily deteriorating. but yeah nothing is wrong because ftmblr is still running and #trans has a pretty little gradient
hey go to the communities tab alright? find communities for trans women there. all graveyards filled with the occasional porn bot or small transfem blog. compare their entire combined member count to ftmblr or the Whole Queer Community one or whatever the fuck. this place is a cesspit and the only way ive made it manageable is with a blocklist nine miles long AND never being honest or posting any pictures at all ever
what do u think will happen to this post
,
marked as mature
gets u banned
does anyone else have to cry once a week when they think about missing out on their girlhood and like…. how incredibly unfair it is that i- i mean they never got to be a little girl… how you didn’t get to have the experience of realizing you were a lesbian… you didn’t get to be the weird girl who played 3ds at her own table with the other nerds… you didn’t get to have greasy hair and chipped nails and go shopping for your prom dress with your mom… shit woulda sucked but it should have been mine… my sucky girlhood
i’m doing a lot better today after having a major breakdown about this. i couldn’t have gotten through it without the support of my loved ones though.
to the girls who read this and left comments or tags and feel this tightly in your chest, i’m sorry, we should have had better and we should have had the childhoods we deserved. i’m definitely paraphrasing but my sister said that there’s just a little girl inside me, she’s sad and she’s throwing a tantrum and there’s nothing you can do but tell her “yeah this sucks” and listen. they said to me that she’d be proud to see where i am now, and i carry her with me to show her how good life is and how we’re a girl now and we have people that love us and see us as a girl. little june can’t have her girlhood but she gets to be little june in my head now… and we made it together.
to the partners, friends, lovers, family of trans girls like me… be gentle be kind… give her the space to complain and yell and scream and have this tantrum. be that safe space for her and show her love. i know i couldn’t keep doing this without the people i have supporting me wholeheartedly and the trans girls in your life need you too. let us be mad about our lost childhoods and help us experience them now. paint her nails, do her makeup, watch barbie movies and give her a tiara… but most of all listen to her and love her please… because it’s likely that no one’s ever done that for us.
ppl are rlly trying to defend being on your phone during a movie in the theater what is going on
using your phone in a movie theater is a symptom of long covid
the defense of being on your phone in a movie theater is who cares? by your own admission, you should be paying attention to the movie. so why do you care what other people are doing? you’re meant to be paying attention to the movie.
This does not even begin to cover the weirdness of cathode ray televisions.
They are literally particle accelerators that you point at your face.
And for eighty years, Americans' favorite thing to do was turn them on and stare at them for hours.
If you overcharge them, they emit gamma radiation.
Servicing them is like disarming a bomb -- their capacitors are enormous and are usually charged to hundreds or thousands of volts, and most of them have no bleed system that drains that charge, meaning that they can still be dangerous months or years after the last time they were powered up. A discharge can not only electrocute you, it can cause tools to melt or explode.
A black-and-white cathode ray TV driven by an unmodulated analog signal is theoretically capable of resolution that would require a microscope to perceive.
Old school CRT monitors had the same issues.
Back when, I worked at a small whitebox pc manufacturer. One day, a service tech brought back an older, gigantic (30 inch or so) AutoCAD monitor from a service call. The customer said "Made me feel nauseous"
So, we put it on the bench and fired it up. You immediately felt the hair on your body stand up, and my co worker put his hand up close to turn the power off, and his hand and forearm started spasming - I yanked the power cord from the wall as the tingle I was feeling began to feel hot.
No idea what was wrong with the thing, but it was kicking out some serious electro magnetic radiation.
Remembering the almost imperceptible high pitched buzzing that let you know the tv was still on even when nothing was on the screen. Also putting your forearm near the screen and watching the hairs stand up
The little crackle if you touched the screen to wipe it...
Omg no one's even talking about the smell of the screen
This is both horrifying to read and nostalgic
I liked to turn the back of my hand to the screen, right after it was turned off, and pet the static with the little hairs on the backs of my fingers. It felt soft and fluffy.
one of the reasons CRTs are such a hotbed of glitch videography is that unlike modern monitors that block irregular signals, CRTs don't have an opinion about the signal you feed into them. they will display anything. and if you've ever done glitch work with a video modulator or such, you know what it's like negotiating with a living beast. the images you can get are often unpredictable and impossible to reproduce even with the same settings on your hardware, because it's just electricity. there is something magical and strange about the cathode ray tube and when you play with them enough you really remember why The Ring fucked people up so bad. samara climbing out of an HD flat screen is a laughable image; but her climbing out of an old school boob tube? yeah man, i believe it. there's fucking demons in that thing
You don’t say.
For the record, she actually abandoned the movement BEFORE they all got whooping cough, but abandoned it too late. There’d been a breakout of measles in her area that caused her to reassess, and she and her doctor had already drafted and started a catch-up vaccination schedule, but her kids caught whooping cough just before it could be started. Then she wrote a blog post for The Scientific Parent explaining how she and her husband had come to wrong decisions in the first place, how they changed their mind, the consequences they suffered as a result, and asking other parents to please vaccinate their kids. And now she’s an activist for destroying the misinformation of anti-vaxxers, and reaching out to anti-vaxxers because she’s understands their fears but knows their kids deserve better.
She was trying to the best for her kids and just didn’t know how to interpret the validity of information or its sources, an actual skill that can be actually difficult and that is under-taught and a necessary first step to being able to trust vaccination research, so chose no action over taking an action she wasn’t sure of. She kept looking into it with family and friends and even eventually came to the right conclusion before her kids became sick, but it was still too late.
Honestly it was pretty brave of her to publicly admit she was wrong. She could have just quietly vaccinated her kids and not become a national news story, but instead she spoke out, even saying “I’m writing this from quarantine, the irony of which isn’t lost on me.” and also “I am not looking forward to any gloating or shame as this ‘defection’ from the antivaxx camp goes public, but, this isn’t a popularity contest. Right now my family is living the consequences of misinformation and fear. I understand that families in our community may be mad at us for putting their kids at risk.”
She understood the consequences and still put herself and her story out there.
You know what, it does take a big person to admit they were wrong so publicly and work to undo the harm. I believe I made fun of her in the past, but timemachineyeah changed my mind.
“I never thought leopards would eat MY face, until I realized they totally would, and they will eat your face, too!” warns defector from the leopards-eating-faces party
don’t hide this in the tags….
#really important actually#like. it’s so important that we allow people to STOP voting for leopards eating faces#because if you attack anyone leaving the leopards eating faces party when they realize it’s bad#the only support system they’ll have is the people who want them to come back to it#you have to make it possible for people escape instead of considering them forever tainted and impure and inherently evil
The #1 trait of anti-vaxxers is not “they’re stupid” or “they fell for propaganda” but “they don’t know who’s safe to trust.”
The movement is pushed by women, especially suburban moms, because they know damn well you cannot trust doctors. You cannot trust the medical industry, the billion-dollar corporate zone of “you should lose some weight and maybe the pain will stop.” Cannot trust the ones who keep changing diet advice - is it no sugar? No carbs? No fats? Is it dangerous to let kids eat things in wild colors? Food pyramid: good or bad? They cannot trust the BMI chart that says they should lose 75 lbs to be “healthy.” (Whether or not they “should” lose 75 lbs, they know damn well that “healthy” does not describe any part of the journey to getting there.) Cannot trust the ones who keep giving them incomplete and sometimes incorrect information about contraception. The ones who said “that’s false labor; you have two weeks more” 12 hours before they gave birth. And so on.
So they have their kids, and they want so much for their kids to be safe, and the doctors and nurses say: Get them vaccinated.
So they ask: What about if there’s complications? An allergic reaction? Side effects?
And the doctors and nurses say: Get them vaccinated.
This is… not reassuring.
And they ask, My sister-in-law’s cousin had a really bad reaction to the MMR shot and I want to know how I can tell it’s safe for my kids.
And the doctors and nurses say: Get them vaccinated.
Throw in the right-wing/libertarian faction yelling YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO and the insurance companies saying “hey um you need a specific type of coverage for that; we probably cover those vaccinations but you’ll need this special paperwork to be sure” - and then you have the actual anti-vax propagandists yelling some combination of cherry-picked statistics and outright lies, and you get a whole lot of moms willing to say BUGGRE ALL THIS FOR A LARKE.
There is no amount of facts that can fix this. They’re swamped with facts from 300 directions. What they need to fix this is empathy and the kind of connections that lead to trust.
They need to trust that, even as the medical industry dismisses a whole lot of womens’ concerns, in this particular area, they’re right.
Add in the consequences of having a significant portion of your social support network tied up in a particular worldview, leaving it, much less openly condemning it, is really hard and means losing your community support. In a world where the system can’t be trusted to pick up that slack, Moms can’t afford to risk the change - until the cost of staying clearly outweighs the coat of pushing back, not just in general, but for their kids.
Kindness doesn’t just matter because it’s more ethical - it'salso a more effective strategy.
Don’t normally do this but
Kindness doesn’t just matter because it’s more ethical - it'salso a more effective strategy.
Get this into your fucking heads. Kindness and compassion and one might even say “love,” are strategies, not just vague fluffy inoffensive emotions. Cruelty will never save us.
Remember cruelty will not save us the next 1,141 days
If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.
Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.
If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.
Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.
i mean, 2025 is just two days away, so why not
good things will happen 🧿
things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿
THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.
this for real fucking works
Apparently this one fuckin works, and who am I to argue with the collective agreement of tumblr. Will report back if good things happen.
I am not taking a risk
Not risking it pals
U know what I want potato of luck
Damn right I’m reblogging. See previous post re wrath of whatever from high atop the thing.
potato I will never ask you for anything else in my lifetime please potato for fuck's sake
I want to feminize a pre-HRT transfem so badly... I want to take a cute, silly little thing and give her all the hormones she could need. I want to buy cute clothes for her, and teach her everything I know about girling. I want to see her change firsthand, bit by bit, as she becomes more confident and more comfortable with her body. I want to watch her body grow, to feel her breasts, her thighs, hips grow, and her skin soften over the months. I want to make sure she feels loved and respected at every step of the way, to reward her every milestone and her every victory. I want to change her life for the better...
were you perpetually and exclusively praised for what you could one day become, instead of what you were, leading you to a lifetime of feeling like you were not only never good enough, but that the best thing about you was a future that would never come, that constantly felt like it was slipping away? Did you become so afraid of closing doors, of losing that one good thing, that potential, that you stagnated at the crossroads until your life began to rot around you and the asphalt ground to gravel and the roads grew ever rougher, the doors closing one by one even as you tried in vain to keep them open, instead of choosing a path and committing to a direction for your own progress? Did you watch the best thing about you, the one thing you were praised for, slowly collapse in your arms as you tried desperately and hopelessly to save it, finding yourself kneeling in the ruins of your unexplored promise, looking for a way out, and wondering if there was no where else to go? no way forward? When someone tells you they're proud of you, that they love you for who you are, that what you are is good enough, do you cry? do you struggle to believe them? do you have to try your damnedest just to make yourself hear the words? Do you wonder if, one day, you'll learn to be happy with who you are?
A lot of people are in the notes here commiserating about this experience, and that's all well and good, but I wanna be really clear: I posted this out of hope. I've spent a very long time trying to understand the issues I face within myself, because understanding them helps me to begin working on them. I posted this because it was a rather stark revelation I had the other day, and it made me realize something I've been scared of this whole time, but could never fully understand or put words to. And now that I know what I'm scared of, it may be easier to conquer that fear. It has been with everything else I've worked on.
Unraveling deeply held trauma is an unending task. When you don't have a starting point to work from, some foundation of understanding to build on, then it's all the more difficult. So, if you found this post came for your very soul or whatever, and you're not sure where to start, start here. Understand why you're stuck at the crossroads, and then learn how to leave it. how to choose a path. Not just within yourself either, look around. Ask people for help. Learn strategies and mechanisms that are healthy and progressive. Talk to others who've been through this and gotten better at it. It might take a while, and it might be hard, but it's better then standing still. When you're ready, if it's right for you, you can leave the crossroads.
Since the original has been circulating again today i thought it was worth remembering this addition.
god i need to wholesomely pin down an insecure trans girl and compliment her as she struggles and blushes and tries to cover her face until she realizes that she’s cute and people like her
clumsy shy transfems I love you
transfems who are dysphoric about their face hair I love you
transfems who don't know how to shave their legs properly I love you
transfems who have never done makeup I love you
transfems who are scared of being raised too manly to be fem I love you
transfems who are afraid they'll never be who they truly want to be I love you
I love you
Hey transfems who refuse to go to sleep because the evening has been the only time you have every had to yourself throughout your entire life and now you don’t want to go to sleep at decent times…
hai :3 im one of you hehe,,, also very bored so dms are open if ya wanna chat :3
Am I even a real Tumblr trans girl? I mean I haven't gotten a single anon hate ask telling me to kill myself over one of my fucked up weird kinks
petplay? oh you mean that kink for burnt-out neurodivergent people with abandonment issues who need simple easy directions and assurance that the person giving them will still be there at the end of the night. yeah i got you i know what you're talking about
