Not today Justin
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Love Begins
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todays bird
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Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
Peter Solarz

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@peaceinpoverty
Fundraising Essay from Facebook
We risk losing everything. If the school, Arakan Human Rights and Environmental Movement (AHREM), does not raise another $300, the students will be kicked out of their school/home will be forced to go back to Burma. The journey back does not permit them to carry their books and computers with them, so everything, along with their opportunities to an education, will seemingly disappear. The Thai landlord fears that the military will come and check the houses for illegal migrants. She gave the students a nine day deadline to get ID cards, which cost $120 each. Five students need to get cards, so we have to raise at least $600 (not including bribes). We've managed to find $300, but I'm reaching out to all of my friends for some extra help. We have 6 days left. If you can send a dollar, just one dollar, that would help immensely. Think of the dollar(s) you saved in that awesome sale. Put it to good use and pay it forward. Maybe donate three dollars, or the cost of your morning coffee. Maybe you found some extra money in your couch and want to do something good. The status update linked below has the link to a paypal account. If you end up donating, you can send me a message with the amount and I will keep track of it all and write you a thank you message. If you donate $15 or more, I will buy you a tiny jade elephant (1cm long). If you donate $50, I will buy you a bigger jade elephant (3-5cm). I will give these to you when I see you in real life. All donations over $10 will get a personalized thank you card if you message me your address. Thank you all so very much for taking the time to read this and for thinking about helping us, in any way you can, even by spreading the word.
Today.
Travelling around Tak Province.
I went to a tiny waterfall and it was gorgeous.
Go Teach English in a Foreign Country
Do it because you’re selfish. No one argues that altruism is the driving force behind all human emotions. When you help others, you will feel good. In Southeast Asia, particularly Thailand, being a teacher is an incredibly respected position, raising you above the level of a farang tourist. Plus, you get to travel to someplace new.
Do it because you care. The world is a strange place with some having infinitely more economic opportunities than others. With all there is to learn on the mostly English Internet, teaching students a new skill like the greatest Lingua Franca around will most likely increase their chances of future employment. Being a teacher is a difficult job, but you get the satisfaction of making an impact on someone’s life.
Do it because you secretly love the English language. You wouldn’t mind if everyone spoke English and listened to American music. (I might mind that, though). Instead, share the language which you can communicate with and spread information. Teaching English will raise your own awareness of the words you use and will actually make you a better writer.
Do it because you can. You are young, bold, and don’t have a clue what to do with your life. Okay, maybe you have a plan but you want to try something new, something different. Immerse yourself in a land of great unknowns and do it. Teach English. It’s a wonderful experience.
The big family celebrating the birthday of the little boy in the middle. Photo credit to T. Lemmons
Everything in Thailand may be trying to kill me
- remnants of chili on my finger burn my eyes as I take out my contacts - wet roads and potholes corrupt my pleasant scooter ride - baby rats squeal in the wooden wall next to my bed - the screaming two foot long lizard, oh there it goes again…. - the cat is occasionally feral and bites - broken mirrors, flat tires, re: scooter - “jungle juice” insect repellent melted my watch - mosquitoes, mosquitoes, mosquitoes x1000 - the tuk tuk drivers race around Bangkok taking me from MBK mall to Khao San Road without a care to my safety (mental and physical) - the humidity makes the school’s computer screen double as a taser if you touch it - the gas stove leaks a bit too much gas - all the water isn’t clean but I still need to use it - my stomach flu has come back after a hiatus - mud, dirt, more rain water collecting in ponds - tiny fish bones, aka the reason I don’t eat fish anymore - meat is left out in open air market as flies gather and celebrate - there is MSG in probably everything - hey there monsoon season - no one seems to care about the legal direction of roads or signs - soi dogs on the street… driving impediments or ferocious beasts? - the cat has fleas which may or may not be in and around my bed - showering here is harder than doing it at a music festival, if you don’t slip on the detergent remnants in the bathroom - scorpions, poisonous centipedes, fruits with massive spikes (durian, jackfruit, pineapple) - is that a flying pebble or moth in my face? Re: re: scooter. - I didn’t realize being this close to the equator would give me second degree sunburns. - the three rounds of antibiotics I have taken may be killing everything in my body, the bad and the good.
[Thailand, one of the richer countries of Southeast Asia, is not an enviable paradise. Life, for most people here, is wildly dangerous, difficult and a bit dirty. I’ve brushed my hair twice in one month but that may be simply a personal issue.
I know these sound like spoiled complaints on my part, but when people ask how I am, this is the dark side of it all. I’ll give you the brighter side when the sun shines tomorrow.]
Noises
There is a gecko who caws loudly, generally in the middle of the night. The sound is incomparable with anything I've ever heard. Apparently, the amphibian, measuring about 1.5 ft in length with its tail, is used for medicine - its heart in particular. I wouldn't mind killing it and selling it, as it is a valuable good, but that would break my general attitude of nonviolence towards living beings. I used to have trouble killing mosquitoes because of this, and I would try to blow them away. Now, I still cringe at their dead bodies, but don't hesitate from smacking myself when I feel one nearby. Along with the gecko, a mouse has decided to join the reign of terror and squeaks around the wooden walls. At 3:36am last night, the rat began its digging process, loudly shaking the walls of the house. Here, sound travels as well as it would in a steel cave. The rain adds a pleasant mix to the general cacophony. Rhythmic drips fall on a metal pan, patter on the tip roof, and splatter down to the dirt. Tiny rivers flow but dry by the morning, only to repeat the cleansing cycle again. I sometimes think about leaving, not only for tonight, but I will leave soon, in three weeks. I have been here just as much enduring the harsh realities of the poverty I strive to fight. I have been eating minimally, besides my splurges on coca cola and ice cream, and dreaming easily. I dream of warm showers, parties, and mosquito-free sunny Southern California. Those are the most selfish of my desires. I dream of these Burmese refugees learning English and making their own websites. Their success is the reason I am here, and they must thrive when I am gone. I dream of changing the world, but my idea of what the world should be has not become any clearer. Bill Gates recently sponsored a competition to write an essay supporting an innovative use of funding or aid. Of course, access to education tops the list of what to do with aid money, but so does access to health. And what about access to shelter or food or water? I may have worked with students who lacked parental guidance or even some without college aspirations, but they had their basic necessities fulfilled. People in the world are actually struggling and we forget this constantly. It's not only easy, but convenient for us to watch something less guilt-inducing than to know that we (the West/developed countries) are probably contributing to the dramatic wealth inequality in the world. We each have our own problems, get caught up in our own worlds, and the norm for us becomes all we know and care about. I just took a break from writing to scratch a mosquito bite. This occurred naturally with no forethought. It is a part of my daily life now. When they disappear, I will not miss them, nor will I realize I will then be better off than I am now. I believe I will be inspired by the diligence that people in less developed countries have that motivates them to work hard with the dream of increasing their opportunities. But, it is not only up to them to work for themselves. It is up to all of us to try and make the world a better place.
Sleeping/Sickness
Is it better to use a blanket you can’t stand the smell of or one that probably has fleas? This is my dilemma.
I had the option of a nicer guesthouse, but I wanted something closer to where I work. And, frankly, I felt guilty. I could be paying more than many Mae Sot workers earn for a bed centered in a white room. The perk would be a nice warm shower along with a raised mattress.
I still have that option, though, but another part of me (besides the guilty part) likes the authenticity of living in a wooden house, with big wooden windows and frequent gecko sightings. The light that peeks through the cracks wakes me up if the flies and other critters let me sleep.
My mattress is slightly raised from the ground, but this experience teaches me to need less. In the temple, my bed was merely a mat. This is quite the upgrade. I sometimes nap in a hammock I bought, too.
As for the sickness, I had been taking antibiotics for more days than I haven’t in Mae Sot. I came down with a stomach flu, throat infection, and now I have a cough as a remnant of my experience. I still managed to teach since there were enough hours a day for rest and work.
Apparently, the rainy season causes many foreign people to get sick while the Thai people are used to the germs that rise and spread during monsoon season. I tried to explain germs and bacteria, but that is a tricky topic indeed. I will stick to verb tenses for now, but we’ll see how much science I can share.
Pineapples are simply not meant to be eaten. The look of shock on my face expresses this, as my mouth ended up bleeding from the fruit’s acidity. Most fruits were made and covered in a protective layer in order to spread their seeds. Humans eating them and taming the process through agriculture has led us to the world we have today.
Pineapples are covered in rough, prickly outer layer with spikes that go deep into its fruity skin. The ones we eat in America are much easier to cut than the ones in Thailand as they lack the brown spikes you can see in the photo. The ones here are very natural, as is most of what the country produces.
I went with one of the students to the market today to buy some vegetables. The selection is much different than anything you would expect. I get them to try new foods with the things I buy and they introduce me to different recipes. What they cook is relatively simple. Today, we bought about 30 white radishes for less than $2. They cooked five of them chopped with green chillies and some green herb for dinner.
Amazed at the low price of avocados, I bought 2 kilograms, or 7 big avocados for $2, or 60 baht. That cost is relatively high for Thailand, where people can make as little as $3 for a day’s work in a factory. I made guacamole, my speciality, which they were not fond of here. I think they preferred their Burmese meals while I still tried to treat them with new things that I enjoy. Apparently, bananas and yogurt are one of their favorites while ice cream and donuts are not. I had also made some stir fry inspired by CMC's World Wok and some Thai Pumpkin (nam fuek tong) influenced by my time at the Thai temple.
On our way to the market, I gave the student a quick English lesson differentiating between “much” and “many.” There is much water, but there were many goats along the way. There is much traffic, but there are many pick-up trucks. I realize “a lot” could be a valid replacement, but “much” seems to be a favorite term of the students.
There were many stray dogs, as well. I biked through water, as a car drove past me and splashed me with the same road rainwater a Burmese woman was using to wash her skirt. I had taught the students earlier to define “inequality” and asked them to think about why there is global inequality. That was a tough question, but it was a place to start. We’re learning some economics as one of the students dreams of being a businessman.
My answer to that question would echo Jared Diamond’s thesis from Guns, Germs and Steel. It all started with agriculture, inventions, colonialism and ended with development. The richest economies are not producers of elementary goods. The richest ones consume, they are capital-based economies. Yet, capital based economies cannot survive without someone producing agricultural goods. It seems there must be an inequality.
The pineapples taste better here. One cost 25 baht, which would be 80 cents. I can afford it, but not everyone can. Maybe the students don’t like my fruits and other goodies because they never felt the need to have it.
What I Learned About International Relations from Watching Kids Play
I didn’t realize my week’s lesson would teach me more than it would teach my students. In hopes of teaching them how to share and cooperate, I bought the 28 young Burmese orphans only one box of toys. There were 64 pieces, each intended to make a cube, resulting in ten cubes with four pieces left over. The first day, I distributed the pieces according to color so they could grasp the English equivalent of each color. I demonstrated how to put the pieces together, starting with two sides for a corner until to six pieces for a completed cube.
As they were initially fascinated with the pieces, each child needed only a few to satisfy them until they could understand more complex structures and would want more pieces. I wanted them to form groups and build a cube together, learning to share and take pride in their teamwork. Instead, the students who were older, smarter or stronger simply took more pieces from their peers to build whatever they wanted while the weaker or slower ones would be left to watch in dismay.
One the second day, the allure of the toys didn’t fade. Once I opened the box, students rushed to me with their hands waving in the air. I handed out four pieces to each empty palm as fewer students came to me initially, thinking only they would care to play. They all wanted a piece. Some who had already gotten pieces hid them behind their backs as they held a hand up pleading for more. Others who came later could only get one or two or no pieces at all. The inequality persisted.
They began to fight over the valuable items. Acquisition became the goal. They wanted to build bigger and better things than the rest. Competition ensued. The weaker children, those several years younger than the rest, were the first to lose their pieces. Some of the older kids preyed on these toddlers and collaborated with them in order to share the pieces. Or, under the guise of showing them how to build a cube, they would take these pieces. One party would squeal, the other would remain cold, emotionless but victorious. They fought, and cried. I would try and restore order, telling them “No! Say you’re sorry,” but they didn’t feel the shame or guilt that would curb this sort of selfish behavior. I had failed in teaching them to share.
To distract them, I tried to teach colors again. The insisted on showing me their cool creations, sometimes listening, reminding me that some had figured the exercise better than others. There were a few kids who gave up on the cubes, finding other toys, or sitting quietly staring into space. I needed more pieces, not to control and distribute the existing ones. There were simply not enough.
The following day, I added two more boxes to my supply, so everyone lined up and received six different colored pieces with which to build a cube. The valuable goods were no longer scarce. Everyone started with enough. Each person not only knew how to construct a cube, but had all the necessary materials to do so. It started out great. Soon, it became evident that not everyone actually had the skills to build a cube, so they lost their pieces again to their more willful competitors. I fiercely strove to maintain equality, repeating “Only six pieces for every person.” At one point, I lost my drive and four boys had amassed two to three cubes. Another two girls had also built bigger cubes.
The order was lost, but at least they weren’t fighting. And then it started. Those who had been gathering more cubes wanted more cubes. When one person wasn’t looking, they would snatch their loose pieces as kids would take apart and reconstruct their cubes over and over.
I tried to shift the focus from amassing as many pieces to building the best cube. Each child had to trade a piece of their cube with another child in order to build a one color cube. The valuable commodity now differed according to person. It didn’t matter how many cubes they had as long as they had a singular colored cube.
While some abided by this rule change, not all played the same game. When initiating a trade, a kid would take the piece and not give back. Many wanted to help me build a single color cube, but didn’t try to help themselves. I ruled. I regulated. I controlled the market. I was the cube god, simultaneously needing nothing but owning everything.
Using my power, I enforced my equality rule yet again. They did not like losing their pieces. Many perpetually asked for more. I would point to another kid and say, “Look how few she has. You have too many! We all have six pieces each.” My communist tendencies would not maintain itself. Greed, corruption, corroboration, and everything childish within all of us ruined my plans.
Competition makes the hunt for limited resources a game that relies on the envy of your peers. When no one cares how many pieces you have or if you have more than the others, what do you really have at all? Is value given by the market or by yourself?
In one last try, I asked them to give me their cubes so we could build a tower. Some would give it up more easily than others. They watched it grow, hopefully feeling part of a bigger movement. Then, they saw it collapse, and they could each gather their own cube or more from among the wreckage.
Finally, when lunch approached, they threw their cubes into my lap with nonchalance. There were more valuable things at stake.
But, I still couldn't forget what they kept telling me while I tried to distribute the toys evenly. "May ya deh boo." That means something between "it's not okay" and "it's never fair" in Burmese according to my other Burmese students. They knew there were problems all along, but they took what they could and dealt with it.
Learning to Teach
Last time I taught, I was in Guatemala at an elementary school, working with third graders who didn't speak a lick of English. I made use of my five years of Spanish and translated words to make them understood. A few songs that were popular were "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" as well as "Hi, my name is Bob and I work in a button factory. One day, my boss said to me, 'Push the button with your right hand.'" This past week, I taught to three different age and proficiency levels. Heavenly Home, the organization I dedicated my mornings to, consisted of 27 young (3-5years old) children of Burmese origins who responded well to my songs, dances and drawings. We practiced the alphabet song, "head, shoulders, knees and toes" as well as "The wheels on the bus go round and round." We drew fish, specific colors, and flowers. I plan on working on fruits next week. Oddly enough, the fruits in Thailand differ from the ones I am used to, so I will need to find some with common English equivalents. In all of our lessons, I stress pronunciation by talking very very slowly. We sustain noises in order to get it right. I find this practice of breaking down sounds to be influenced by my learning of mindfulness. Heavenly Home cooperated with another group of Burmese refugees. In my afternoons, I rode my scooter to a wooden house where 39 students ranging from 18 years to 54 years awaited my English instructions. We learned through acting and drawing. Body parts and weather were some of the best taught lessons. The verbs "to be" and "to go" were a bit trickier to transmit without a translator. Review and repetition were two themes I gained from my time at the temple, so I would continuously incorporate different vocabulary we learned. I'm sure I made a few mistakes along the way, but I see myself improving. Finally, after that, I scooted to the south end of Mae Sot and taught a smaller group of Burmese refugees, 6 boys who come from the Arakan state in Myanmar. They understood my relatively well, but I had to write down my sentences to make sure they understood me properly. I try to emphasize observations when I teach my lesson and incorporate aspects of their daily lives into the examples I provide. Recently, we have been learning guitar chords together outside of class time, and I try to emphasize that each string has to sound good for the chord to sound right as well. I think the class can improve on their concentration using the same pronunciation games I use with the children from Heavenly Home.
undeserving
It is a matter of pure chance that I had the opportunity to grow up in the US. Many people were born there, but my parents were granted a greencard to come. Either way, I was part of the Western world.
Buddhism upholds reincarnation, such that your current life situation comes as a result of your past lives. Apparently, it takes many lives to become a human. How is it determined who becomes a wealthy person and who becomes a poor person? The doctrine would also suggest that the bas things that happen to us may be as a result of karmic consequences in our past lives. These are what people at the temple told me, so the Dhamma may speak a different truth.
As with most religions, an origin story is of importance. Where do the deeds start? But, the only answer I could ascertain was the same one given by many religions. While it is named "karma" in Buddhism (and Hinduism, which Buddhism stems from in a similar way Christianity rose from Judaism), the consequences of one's actions exist in a tangible way in our current lives. There are still those matters outside of our control.
My guesthouse borders traditional homes in Mae Sot, build of wood and on stilts, with large windows. Most beds are not mattresses, but mats. A child from one of these houses ventured in the to artificially green, fancy guesthouse and looked up to the second story at three white, blond children playing with their family. They pay as much to stay in the guesthouse for a week that their rent is for one month.
The child below looks at those above, neither deserving to be where they were according to atheism. It was all a matter of chance. I still can't tell you why, though I would really like to know.
It's all Thai to me...
Necessity is the mother of learning Thai. In two weeks, I learned how to say around 60 words and phrases thanks to everyday use. Unfortunately, thai grammar has still evaded my understanding as I seldom ventured into that territory. It also differs substantially from English in the sense that everything tends to be in the present form.
Due to the language barrier between me and 99% of the people I encountered at the temple, all Thai people who were very curious to see a farang amidst them, I needed to find a way to communicate besides sign language. Regardless, I couldn't do it alone. Because of the generosity and patience of a handful of people, I managed to learn how to say cute (naa rok), sweet (nam waan), honey (nam pueng) and my favorite, pumpkin (nam fuek ton). I learned a few more crucial phrases as well, like delicious (aroy), full (eem), difficult (yaak), sleep (non), sleepy (nuang), and hot (lonn). Unfortunately, as Thai contains about 32 vowels, I might not have mastered all the phonemes (sounds).
Chan pood Thai nit noi! (I can speak Thai a little bit)
I also know how to count, which comes in handy when shopping.
At the temple, we had morning chanting at 4:00am, followed by a sitting meditation. The chanting started with paying respect to the Buddha, the Dhamma (teachings of Buddha) and the Sangtha (the monks). Then, we thank our teacher and our parents.
The chanting ended with a request that our meditation practice improves. Then, the lights go out and we sit, cross-legged, for 50 minutes.
Afterwards, we have some free time, in which I usually sweep or sleep. I took a picture on one of those days. These were our outfits - all white.
I slept on a bit floating house with large open windows. The pond contained giant fish which would move the house. I wonder if the sway of my sleeping place allowed me to sleep so well, even if we were only allowed to sleep on a thin mat on the floor. The bathroom doubled as a shower, like all of the ones in Thailand. Yet, I wasn't used to the idea of using a bowl to flush and to shower.
Meditation
Buddha spoke Pali, which is the language of the Dhamma, his writings. The monk who instructed me referred to the Dhamma as a book about Nature, or the way things are. In the practice of Buddhism, which is patibat in Thai, meditation is seem as a form of prayer. If Buddha, who has many flattering names, such as The Perfectly Enlightened One and The Blessed One, practiced this to achieve enlightenment, his followers should, too. The style of mediation encouraged at Wat Sanghathan is Vipassana Kammathana "based on the Four Foundations of Mindfulness: awareness of body, feelings, mental formations (thoughts), and phenomena." Vipassana means "clear knowing" and Kammathana is "the foundation of action." Thus, together, the meditation practice allows for the understanding of what happens at each moment. The rhythm of the breath became the main guiding force for my meditation, as I carefully monitored each in-breath and out-breath. How could something be so easy yet so hard at the same time? It was difficult to not lose track of my breaths as my mind kept wandering down other roads. (To be continued, got to go volunteer at Heavenly Home.)