[reallyreallyreallytrying]

christmas is when jesus was born, and easter is when he died. in between is when he did various baby crimes bad enough to warrant capital punishment at 3 months old. very bad baby

[coolfrogdude]

you may take it. ONCE.

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

peeling a clementine is so easy. it comes so naturally. its inviting… the clementine WANTS to be peeled. its melancholic, sanguine… but an orange? whats an orange but a nuisance… the orange torments and mocks with its brute strength. it exists only to create chaos. next time you decide to indulge in a citrus delight, heed my word. choose the clementine 

[gordon-freeman-official]

😳😳😳

[megzpurple65]

[mjalti]

Im a real boring bitch! A snoozer! A low key homebody!!! I love loneliness AND privately trying to deal with emotional trauma!!!

[radi0-open-door]

[anthracoceros]

some of y'all didnt grow up as the person nobody has a crush on and it really shows

[daglout]

some of yall never have to deal with the constant doubt in your own ability to be loved to the point where you get second hand embarrassment at the idea of someone being in love with you and finding you attractive because you’ve been diagnosed with ugly and cringy your whole life and it really shows

[heavensickness]

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

i know the photoset is everywhere

but the delivery of ‘why do piranha plant have bone it’ is funnier 

[weenie-kun]

[parkchanwoohoo]

The last panel contains more emotion than anything you could find in a museum

[tchaikovskaya]

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

[tchaikovskaya]

this is legitimately the absolute funniest thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts, thank you for your service

[guardiantempest]

[viktormayrin]

@chroniclearia​

[fwizard]

omfg

[endangered-justice-seeker]

[we-are-rogue]

[bigheadmilf]

am 100% sure he has actually said this

[pumpkinspicedcoochie-deactivate]

it really does only take one basket of laundry you procrastinate putting away before your whole life turns to shit huh

[stimman4000]

happy pride month kings

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

he was fucking just eating cookie dough alone on the dance floor I can’t handle this

[squided]

if I’m alone on the dance floor eating raw cookie dough and a guy notices me and actually finds me attractive?, that’s a keeper

[squided]

Okay apparently it was cocaine but still someone seeing me on the dance floor eating raw cocaine and still thinks I’m attractive? Keeper fucking material

[sadbeautifultragique]

the fact that i’m not on a balcony in italy watching the sun set eating fresh fruit with my lover is offensive