[tchaikovskaya]

russian bitches invented “a hoe never gets cold fuck a hypothermia” energy

[tchaikovskaya]

5 inch heels in the snow !!!! are your ankles gonna snap if you step on a patch of ice? DA! is it worth the risk for Fashion? DA!

[dingdongyouarewrong]

remember the wayside school books those were fucked up

[dingdongyouarewrong]

remember that one chapter where a new student came to the class and was wearing like 10 different raincoats and the teacher kept making him take off the raincoats one by one until they got down to the final layer and it was just a dead rat

[shiftingpath]

some other truly exceptional Wayside moments:

-Paul keeps pulling Leslie’s pigtails so he gets sent to the counsellor’s office. The counsellor is a hypnotist named Doctor Pickell, and he hypnotizes Paul into thinking Leslie’s pigtails are snakes. Because he’s a troll, he also hypnotizes Paul into believing Leslie’s ears are delicious candy whenever Leslie says the word “pencil”.

-The class is taken over by the son of hated ex-teacher Mrs. Gorf. Because they killed his mom he uses his superpower of stealing people’s voices to steal their voices and call their parents to say how much each individual student hates their family. The students are forced to listen in silence, crying. (They are saved by the cafeteria lady.)

-Benjamin is too nervous and awkward to correct Mrs Jewls when she gets his name wrong, so he goes by “Mark Miller” for months. He finally says his real name to a substitute teacher. Everyone thinks it’s a great prank and also go by Benjamin for the whole day, including the teacher.

-Louis the yard teacher falls in love with substitute teacher Miss Nogard. She has a third ear on top of her head that allows her to listen to people’s thoughts.

-Joe is the only student to order the potato salad one day. The face he draws in it looks like Mrs. Gorf and she nearly turns Joe into an apple.

-Because Wayside School is 30 stories high, they installed elevators. One only went up and the other only went down, so they got used once and never again.

-Allison gets stuck on the 19th story, which doesn’t exist. Nobody else can see, hear, or remember her. The 19th chapter is three chapters long.

[morbidmanatee]

My favorite genre of children’s story is “This would be horror if the characters were adults”

[thechaoticgalaxy]

I now want to buy this book and read it stoned out of my mind

[ruinedchildhood]

[lesbianshepard]

i love when professors try to use modern slang to relate to students. my professor referred to the theater of pompey as “the place where caesar got vibe checked by a bunch of senators” and i lost it. 

[lesbianshepard]

Vibe Check (1806) by Vincenzo Camuccini

[sunfortune]

on a lighter note, the most Unrealistic part of harry potter is how people were still saying “he who must not be named” and “you know who” TEN years after voldemort lost power? like PLEASE. if i found out some fool who talked that much shit and hurt that much people with his little fascist club Got his shit Rocked by a BABY im clowning him the fucking MINUTE i find out. and i dont care what happens to me for it

[sunfortune]

not to mention his name was TOM. like jk rowling really used to act like saying voldemort instead of “you know know” was an act of resistance like ma’am HOW when thats the name he WANTS to be called?? make harry call him lil tommy to his face if you really wanted to make a statement 

[caroldanversenthusiast]

Reese Witherspoon learning how to TikTok is the cutest thing ever PLEASE I LOVE HER.

[funkyness]

god i can't get over how attractive george of the jungle was. like, he didn't HAVE to be that fucking hot but disney said "no. he has to be the biggest himbo in tv history"

hello????

[niggazinmoscow]

Or how about healthcare…

[flotsamandptsd-blog]

so anyway, eat the rich

[sighinastorm]

There’s a tornado warning out (two, technically), so of course I went for a walk outside to see if I could spot it.  Never have I seen so many of my neighbors at one time, when there wasn’t a firework show or a picnic.

[sighinastorm]

[the-dwarven-viking]

There was a tornado warning and a bunch of people gathered outside to set off fireworks. I wish I was kidding.

[sighinastorm]

How cool would it be to shoot fireworks into a tornado?

[sighinastorm]

[theoverlordmisha]

[ghostclvb]

y’all please look @ these gen z kids living in 3019

[ufocafe]

so i asked a friend what was up and she replied with this and i feel like i’m in an episode of the twilight zone

[biglawbear]

Here's the thing about shows like South Park and Family Guy that make their money off of being edgy and offensive. They fundamentally reduce their viewers' capacity for empathy. If I found a joke funny, and you found it offensive, you're just too sensitive. This is directly related to the ride of the alt right and the election of trump. In this essay I will

[oceanfoxo]

OP WHERE'S THE FUCKING ESSAY

[biglawbear]

So instead of writing the essay this is exactly what I'm talking about. This shit reduces your capacity for empathy. If you can't understand why people are hurt by a simple joke, nay, think that's the whole point... How the hell are you supposed to feel for someone when they come to you complaining of ACTUAL oppression? It's the foot in the door phenomenon. A little oppression isn't too bad, cuz it's funny, right? It hardens your heart against others

Somebody actually wrote this essay already. It's a Twitter thread about how the alt right recruits teenage boys by getting them to post slightly offensive memes... And then when they get called out and don't understand why the alt right channels their anger at feminists and women and people of color and liberals. According to this thread, boys are being "set up"

Read the whole thread at the link above this is just a snip

"offensive" shows like Family Guy are a precursor to the alt right and you can't change my mind

[oceanfoxo]

op this is a fantastic semi-essay

[heavy-duty-box-of-trouble]

Villager: pray, why dost thou run with no pursuers?

Agnes Nutter, knowing she’ll have to put a total of 80 pounds of explosives in her petticoats and still walk normally on the day she dies: thou mustn’t be truant from leg day

[babyanimalgifs]

[higherstatesof]

Are you kidding me this is the best video I’ve ever seen

[smoothcollegedudemsu]

I’m not crying you’re crying

[marchpain-deactivated20191129]

[smokingkitten]

sometimes i forget this comic exists and then i find it again and want to happy-cry

[findanegg-deactivated20190930]

wtf i’m a postmodernist now

[thefatfuck-irl]

[sirartwork]

reblog for noises

[ayellowbirds]

siamangs are so freaking weird. Somehow evolution produced a frog-ape.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Me, before I played the video: Okay they can’t be THAT weird can they?

Me, watching the video: what the fUCK

[gdayhowareya-deactivated2020011]

full fruit trees in random yards that I pass while driving are more tempting to me than any man ever will be

[uglythug5000bce-deactivated2021]

this is what got us kicked out of eden, cuz u hoes can’t follow rules