After the storm – Chapter 2
Javier Peña x f!reader / 5,5k words
Summary: Javi doesn’t even remember his resolution now. All he needs is to protect you and possess you, if you’ll let him. Part of the New year, same Peña challenge by @beefrobeefcal
Warnings: so much longing, dual POV, no use of Y/N, no description of reader apart from having hair of any length and backstory, smoking, drinking, PTSD, mentions of death, mentions of abuse, instalove kinda, p in v, safe sex. 18+ MDNI.
Author’s notes: Maybe you guys will feel that this Javi is out of character but in an interview Pedro said that Javier was a softie towards women and had a deep instinct to care for them so I leaned heavily into that. Javi calls reader sirena/sirenita which means mermaid. I appreciate any feedback you guys send my way <3. English it’s not my first language so please point out any grammar errors and I’ll have them corrected.
No beta, we die like my last brain cell after watching the video of Pedro dancing to Father Figure 978 times a day.
Chapt. 1 / Chapt. 3
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Javier could see the signs. The next day after you arrived, you were helping with breakfast when Chucho unconsciously closed a cabinet door too loudly. you dropped the spoon and grabbed the counter until your knuckles turned white.
“Are you ok, niña?” Mr Peña reached to stroke your arm but you flinched.
“I’m sorry… yes… yeah I’m ok”
“Are you sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Pops, don’t say that…” He looked pointedly to his father and could see his regret after a minute.
“Sorry niña, I didn’t think…”
“It’s ok, Mr Peña. I’m ok.” you collected the spoon and went to the sink to wash it, but you were visibly trembling.
“Oh none of that. It’s Chucho for you.”
“Alright” you said in a whisper and it was clear to everyone how shaken you still were.
Later Javier was going to town planning on buying you some clothes when you called to him as he was closing the door.
“Are you going out? I had some money in my pocket, it’s still kind of wet but maybe you could buy me some things and… whiskey?”
Javier looked at you quizzically.
“I’d go but I’m afraid one of them could be around the city and recognize me.”
“Of course you shouldn’t go. You are never to leave this ranch, understand me? Actually, avoid leaving the house altogether, I don’t want the ranch hands to see you. The less people you are in contact with the better, I can bring whatever you want and be discreet about it. But are you sure about the whiskey? We have beer in the house.”
“I need something stronger to help me sleep so I won’t wake you up again.”
“Sirenita, I don’t mind.”
“No Javier, please. I’m already too much of a hassle.”
He thought about how smoking and drinking were the only things that held him together most of the time.
“Okay.”
Later that night he joined you on the porch. You had a lost look in your eyes while nursing a glass of whiskey. He lit a cigarette and sat on a chair beside you.
“I called my friend in Mexico. The name you gave is on his list so they are definitely interested in whatever details you can give them.”
“I am so grateful, truly. You’re putting your life and that of your father on the line for me.”
“Enough with that. I have been in much worse situations and if I have the means to help you then that’s what I’ll do.” And there it was, that tender look in your eyes. Javier immediately knew he could get lost in them. He caught himself wishing that look meant much more than gratefulness.
You stood up and still spent another minute looking at him with your soulful eyes.
“Good night Javier.”
“All my friends call me Javi” you gave him a small smile.
“Goodnight Javi.” He continued to sit there, smoking a cigarette and enjoying the warmth spreading through his body on how his name sounded coming from your lips.
He woke up suddenly and glanced at the clock. 2:15am, it came earlier that night. Javier opened your door softly and saw you thrashing and turning on the bed, wimping and murmuring incoherently. He stroked your arms, your hair and could feel you slowly calming down. He laid on the bed and held you gently. “Diego… don’t die… stay with me”. He pulled you towards him a bit tightly thinking that that was the first time he felt jealous of a dead man.
A few hours later, he felt himself instinctively nuzzling your hair and rubbing his hardon on your before he remembered who he was in bed with. He disentangled himself, doing everything not to wake you. Any minute of rest was much needed and he couldn’t let you know what a sordid man he was, lusting after a woman in this situation. It had been a long time since he woke up beside a woman, that’s all that was.
He got into the shower and tried to calm his racing thoughts. He shampooed his hair but couldn’t forget your warm smell. He could still hear your soft snores and remember how you felt, legs entangled with his. Everytime he had to touch his skin he couldn’t stop thinking about how good your hands would feel instead.
He gave up with a groan and held his hard cock like he thought you would do: softly at first, with slow, deliberate pulls, rubbing your thumb in the head and spreading his precum. He started to pick up the pace while picturing what he wanted to do to you in that bed. While rubbing himself against your ass he’d massage your bare tigh and reach around to pull your panties aside, finding you already wet for him. So wet in fact that he’d be able to push two fingers inside easily while making slow circles around your clit with his thumb. You’d make the most delightful noises and reach behind to grab his hair trying to ground yourself. Your wetness would soak his entire hand while he kissed your neck and licked your earlobes. You would plead for his cock and he would oblige, folding one of your legs and rubbing the head against your clit before finally burying himself on your pussy.
He wouldn’t hurry himself, fucking you with deep thrusts while grabbing into your tight for dear life. He knew that would leave a mark and that’s exactly what he wanted. You’d ask him to go harder, deeper and would whimper when he’d slip out while changing positions. He’d grab both of your legs and fold them to fuck you at the exact angle that you needed, you'd be chanting his name over and over. He’d say how perfect you were for him, how good you were taking him and you’d sob incoherently, getting louder and louder as he increased the tempo, finally coming apart and squeezing his cock in the most exquisite way.
That made him buckle in his own first and two seconds later he came with a grunt. “Take me my sirenita, take all of me.”
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You startled awake, drenched in sweat and immediately noticed a warm body with its arms wrapped around you. You’ve had nightmares every day since arriving at the ranch and even though they were getting less disturbing, they still came. But every time you woke up in the comforting embrace of Javier's arms. At first he arrived only at the worst points but as the days went by he started coming to the guest room earlier and earlier and there came a point where you no longer needed to cry yourself to sleep, laying your head in his chest and focusing on his steady heartbeat instead. His presence alone was reassuring and despite your situation you felt safe in his arms, a warmth spreading through your body like you’ve never felt before. Sometimes you woke up before him in the morning and could sense his hard cock behind you, feeling tempted to fall back on your habit to use sex as a means to forget all the shit in your life, but couldn’t bring yourself to take advantage of him like that.
You made yourself useful around the ranch, cleaning the house, making meals and feeding the animals. You came to know both Peñas better, seeing that despite his hard exterior Javier was a big softie like his father. But it was clear that those broad shoulders that constantly pushed at the seams of his button ups carried a lot of weight too. You’ve seen him get lost in thought after his now constant calls with his colleagues from the DEA. And whenever Chucho mentioned his wife Javier would tense up and excuse himself from the room as quickly as possible. They never mentioned the circumstances of her passing and you were quite certain that whatever it was made their pain even worse.
Sundays were the best days because you could roam around the ranch without worrying about anyone’s presence. You were at the barn listening to Javier explain each horse’s personalities when he playfully slapped one of them after brushing its coat. You were immediately transported to the days your stepfather would hit your mother, the day he slapped you for the first time after your mother died. You started hyperventilating and leaned into one of the stalls.
“Sirenita, what’s wrong?”Javier approached you carefully.
Your stepfather had hit you so hard one time that you fell to the floor and saw black for a couple of minutes. That night, when he passed out drunk, you grabbed whatever you could and left for Diego's house. He had known about the abuse against your mother, and had been asking you to live with him for years but you couldn’t leave your mother through your cancer battle, especially when she was married to that awful man.
Diego also had been the one who scolded you for drinking too much and using sex to deal with it all. The one that held you while you cried when everything became too much, the reason why you knew that love was only reserved for friends and not any other men.
“Darling, breathe with me.” Javier was stroking your arms softly. You tried to focus on the warmth of his skin, his earthy scent and how his hands were a bit rough from working at the ranch. You put your arms around his waist and listened to his heartbeat. He stroked your hair and you started to calm down.
“It’s okay, you’re okay.” You looked at his soft dark eyes and felt a pull in your heart. This was dangerous. You shouldn’t be seeking comfort from a man you barely knew. A man you clearly felt attracted to. You took a step back, needing to put some space between you both.
“Sorry, I just have these moments sometimes. Don’t worry, I’ll try to contain myself.”
“No need to apologize to me, Sirenita. I know that sometimes it’s hard to talk about things, but if you ever want to I’m here to listen.” He said, and gave your hand a squeeze with so much understandment in his eyes.
“There's nothing to talk about really, I just… I don’t know.. lose control sometimes.”
He looked at you with sadness in his eyes but it was mixed with another feeling you couldn't quite pinpoint. Compassion? Recognition maybe?
That night you couldn’t bear to eat, excusing yourself to the guest bedroom and drinking a few glasses of whiskey instead. When Javier knocked at the door and opened it, you said “I don’t think we should do this anymore, Javi.”
He sat beside you on the bed. “Why are you saying that?”
“Don’t you think it’s weird sleeping together every day?”
“I can’t watch you agonizing night after night and do nothing.” He reached for your hand and you closed your eyes, feeling the warmth of his touch.
You laced your fingers with his and nodded towards your intertwined hands. “This is why. I have no business wanting your hands in mine, all over me actually.” He took a sharp breath.
“Sirenita…”
You interrupted him “Do you know how many times I wanted to wake you up with a kiss? How I wanted to rub myself on your hard…” He swallowed your words with a passionate kiss and both of you moaned while your mouths met with one another. His lips were so plump and soft, that you couldn’t stop yourself from pulling the lower one softly with your teeth. You held his strong jaw and he groaned, flexing the hand that was on your hair, pulling you in to deepen the kiss. You sat on his lap and ground against his hard cock, the friction of his jeans against your thin pajama pants making you wet already. He put his hand on your back helping you get into a rhythm, then lowered it to grab your ass and you moaned. His mustache felt so good against your lips, his smell enveloping you. You started to move your hand towards his buckle but he stopped you.
“We can’t.” He pushed his hands through his hair like he could barely contain himself. “We can’t. You’re too drunk.”
“I’m not that drunk.” The way you slurred your words did not help your point.
“Still. I don’t want you regretting it in the morning.”
“I want you Javi, please.” You kissed his neck and felt him sighing deeply, not knowing if it was from desire or resignation.
“Fuck.” He exhaled and in a heartbeat he got up from the bed, pulling the door with much more strength than necessary.
“Sleep well, darling.”
You sat there feeling as if cold water were running through your veins. You shouldn't have let things get that far, knew better than putting yourself in this position. You once vowed never to be emotionally dependent on a man, and there you were… it was bad enough that you needed to rely on Javier for food and housing, you wouldn’t allow yourself to garner feelings for the man.
That was the first night you locked the door.
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Javier didn’t want to see you. After spending the night thinking about how he wanted things to have gone, masturbating to thoughts of you twice and going about his whole day trying to get you out of his head he’d had enough. He'd had a long day of work after a rough night with almost no sleep. His frustration and anger made the muscle pain of ranch work so much worse, but he did everything he could to avoid coming to the house. The prospect of finding you cooking for him, sitting on his couch, making small conversation with his father looking like you belonged there… it's all too much, too domestic, too good. Something he shouldn't have.
It was getting dark and he was running out of chores, planning to spend as much time as possible smoking in the barn when he saw you speaking with Jensen in the garden. While going in your direction in quick strides Javier saw you crouching down to harvest some paisley and Jansen looking at your ass while saying “I could saddle Pretty for you tomorrow and give you a tour. She is a gentle one, easy to ride even if you’re not accustomed to it.”
“I really shouldn't.” but you gave him a small smile and Javier’s blood boiled inside his veins.
“Jensen” He said loudlier than he should have and you startled. “It's past your time, I thought you'd have gone home by now.”
“Camon Javi, our guest here never leaves the house, she must be tired of it. I had the luck to see her coming to the garden otherwise I wouldn't even have the chance to say hello.”
“You stalked her, you mean.” Javier said tensely and Jensen had the presence of mind to look embarrassed. “My guest has seen the ranch plenty.”
He raised his arms in a gesture of surrender. “I was just offering to saddle her a horse, nothing more.”
“She's allergic to horses. I'll see you tomorrow Jensen.”
Javier knew he shouldn't put his hand on your lower back while leading you back to the house, as if he had any ownership over you. Knew he shouldn’t be this affected or people would think he was jealous. To revert himself to this type of caveman-like possessive behaviour? It was just to make Jansen back off, he told himself while quickly removing his hand.
“Javier, I know I wasn’t supposed to talk to anybody but he was just there and...”
“What have you told him?” Javier cut your words. He was losing the grip on his emotions too quickly.
You turned and gave him an apprehensive look. “Nothing, I didn’t even say my name. I went on and on about the garden and cooking and thankfully you arrived.”
Javier ran a hand through his hair and held onto the railing to ground himself. “You shouldn't have said a word.”
“I couldn’t just run into the house, it would make him suspicious. And what have you told them? They know that there has been a woman in the house. I was more afraid of contradicting whatever story you’ve made than anything else.”
“I haven’t told them shit because they are not paid to chit chat.”
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” You eyed him defiantly. “You must know that being too secretive about it does not help the situation, otherwise you wouldn’t have even gotten past the FBI training.” you said the wrong department wrong to angry him further. He had to remember you knew angry men, wanted to equate him to the rest. But he refused to be that for you.
“DEA.” He said, trying to steady himself. And what was the big deal really? The guys that worked at the ranch were loyal to his family. He could just tell them she was a relative visiting and that would be it. Or his girlfriend, to make it clear to them that there was a line that should not be crossed, that no one were to stare at her ass or any other part of her for that matter. He sighed. He had grown too soft since coming back, too unacostumed with the need to school his acts, thoughts and especially his feelings. And now his mind was too entangled with the need for you. He should get his act together.
You were looking at him, still waiting for a response. He turned around, lit a cigarette and took a long drag, occupying his mouth to prevent it from saying what he shouldn’t. After a second he heard the door closing.
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Two nightmares in one night, this was more than you were used to. Nothing had helped you, neither two glasses of whiskey you had downed after waking from the first nightmare nor the seashell, which only made you think about Javier more. You missed the assurance of his arms, his smell and the warmth of his body. Things you shouldn’t miss because they weren’t yours.
You needed to get out of here.
The bedside clock said it was past five, so an acceptable hour to get out of bed. The house was still calm so you decided to make breakfast. You were now familiar with the Peñas kitchen and found out that one of their favorite recipes of yours were breakfast burritos.
After some 20 minutes Chucho came into the kitchen.
“Ay niña, it smells so nice! But you didn’t have to, it’s too early for you to be up.”
“Look who's talking.” Javier emerged from the corridor. He looked specially disheveled this morning, with deeper bags under his eyes.
“Good morning mijo. Here, help me set the table.”
“Can’t, I’m heading out.” Javier said while pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“This early?” You hoped he would look at you but his eyes remained firmly at his beverage.
“Lots of things to do. Pops, I’m going to that faraway field, heard from the guys that the cattle there need treatment.”
“Javier” your voice came out as merely a whisper, but it made him stop. “I think it’s better for me to wait to be contacted by your friend somewhere else.”
He turned to you with a hard look, a deep wrinkle forming in his forehead. “You will do no such thing.”
“Too many people know I’m here already. I’m a liability.”
“Don’t you understand that this is the only place where I can keep you safe? Are you saying this because of Jensen? I’ll make sure he won’t say a damn thing to anyone. Besides, honey," He scoffed. "You don’t have any documents, you wouldn’t even be able to get very far.” It was the truth and you belittled, trapped. You left your city so wouldn’t put yourself into situations like this again and here you were.
“Javier I’m very grateful for what you and Chucho have done but you don’t have the right to speak to me this way.” He just glared at you.
“Javier you shouldn’t be this condescending, your mamá and I raised you better than that.” Chucho intervened. “She is right, it’s been too long a wait. Call your guy today and say he has until the end of the week to have everything sorted.”
Javier pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fuck me!” he said then sighed in frustration “Pops… it's not how this works.”
“No buts. She is in limbo and that’s no way to live. Call him and give her an answer today.”
He went out, slamming the door on his way out and did not come home until late at night. You heard the shower running, the bathroom and bedroom doors closing and then… opening? You decided to investigate and found him leaning on the porch railing and smoking his usual cigarette, a song playing softly on the radio.
“Hey.”
He just nodded his head. You were exhausted by his attitude.
“If you are so uncomfortable around me then why won't you let me leave? I don't know what kind of hero complex you have, but I'm not a china doll for you to keep on your shelf.”
He whipped his head in your direction and for the first time his brown eyes hardened.
“Don't say things like that.”
You were inclined to apologize but before you could say anything he continued, looking at the ground.
“There was this girl in Colombia. She had information about a party where members of the cartel would be. In exchange for the information I was going to get her out of the country but I still let her go to the damn party and they…” He swallowed visibly and you noticed that his hands were shaking slightly. “Unspeakable things happened to her. Things I could've prevented. And she wasn't the only one I couldn't save. So yeah, maybe I have a fucking hero complex, but can it be named that when I am the farthest thing from a hero? I'm just trying to make one thing right.”
You closed the distance between the both of you and touched his arm. He raised his eyes and they were full of regret, so open and vulnerable. You brushed his face with a soft touch and looked deeply into his eyes. “I'm pretty sure you helped plenty other people, just as you are helping me. Don't let what could have been harden you. If you keep beating yourself up for the few times it didn't work you'll be left with less mental capacity to keep making the difference you can right now and in the future. You need to allow yourself to live, Javi”
He looked stunned, like your words hit him like a ton of bricks.
A new song came on the radio and you decided to lighten the mood. “Do you know the name of this song?”
He cleared his throat and said “Corazón Espinado.”
You began swaying your hips to the music and listened to the verse, doing a quick translation in your head: ‘tell me my love, How much love and pain remains for us?’
You reached for his hand. “Let’s dance.”
He kept looking at you, a fire in his eyes. You tried to pull his body close.
“Camon Javi, I won’t bite.”
He put both arms around your waist, pulling you in between his legs while still half sitting in the railing. “That’s exactly what I want to do to you, cariño.” you felt your skin flush, head spinning with how the term of endearment made you feel.
He brushed his nose in an upward path from your neck to your ear and said “I want you. I can’t stop thinking of you. Tell me you want me too.”
“Oh God, yes” you gasped, your blood pressure spiking. You couldn't believe he was saying everything you've wanted to hear since the first time he came into your bed. “You’re all that I want, Javi.”
“My name sounds so good in your pretty lips, cariño.” He says against the skin of your neck.
“Calm me that again” you whispered. He growled and kissed you deeply, his tongue ravaging your mouth, hands in your hair and even though it all felt possessive and overwhelming, you welcomed it.
“I have missed you so much these past nights, can't stop thinking about how much I want your body in my arms cariño.” he said between kisses, whispering the last word seductively while trailing his hands all over your body. A loud moan escaped you.
“Shh, Pops may be up. Come on.” He led you across the yard with a hand around your waist, stopping several times to give you heated kisses.
When you finally passed through the wooden doors of the barn he waited no time in pushing you against them, kissing you even more desperately while hitching one of your legs around his hips. You ruted against his erection, hand pulling at his hair. Both of you found an intense rhythm, grinding shamelessly against one another, breathing hard, consumed by passion. This time when you reached for his buckle he helped you open it and you had his cock in your hands in little time, spreading the precum already there all over the head before stroking it firmly. He was panting and you loved how you could make him feel this way.
He put both of your legs around his waist taking you to a more secluded corner without ever stopping the kiss. As soon as your feet touched the ground he started to pull your sweats off before sitting you on a table. His hand gripped your waist while you spread your legs for him.
“Tan linda, so gorgeous…” he stared deep into you while circling your clit expertly and it felt so good you had to close your eyes and reach for his mouth again. Your lips fit together so perfectly, each movement feeding into the pleasure inside you that just kept building and building.
“Open your eyes and look at me, pretty girl. I want to see it when you come for me. Are you going to come for me?”
The pleasure made it hard to breathe and think but you somehow managed to respond. “Yes, make me come!”
He bit his lower lip while eyeing you and you could see the intensity of his emotions. That pushed you over the edge. The force of your orgarsm almost made you throw your head back but Javier gripped your chin forcing you to keep eye contact. You chanted "Fuck, Javi! Oh Javi, Javi, Javi..." He touched his forehead against yours and when you came down he was finishing putting a condom on.
“I need you to fuck me so hard” you said, still breathing shallowly and his movements faultered for a second.
“Be careful what you wish for, cariño” He said and started to brush the head of his cock all over your pussy. “Look how much you are dripping. I don't think I'll need to prepare you more at all. Gonna make you take all of me in a single stroke, will you be able to handle it?”
The anticipation was such that you could just stare at his movements and nod. Agreeing? Disagreeing? Who knows. He lodged just the head of his cock right at your entrance but stopped, teasing you both. “I think you'll love the stretch. How it will be almost too much…” he was trying to sound cocky but his elaborate breaths betrayed him.
“Javi…” you sobbed. “Please”
He groaned and entered you, the burn feeling so exquisite. You looked between you and he was just halfway inside.
“Oh fuck its even better than I couldve imagined.” his fingers twitched around your legs and you felt how he was holding himself back from slamming into you. Instead he gave you shallow thrusts until all of him could fit, filling you to the brim.
He waited a couple of seconds and you started to move your hip fucking into him by yourself and in a heartbeat he started fucking you with an unforgiving pace, taking your breath away each time his cock kissed at your cervix.
"So good" you kept saying against his shoulder and he was also whispering dirty things, half in English, half in Spanish but your brain simply did not have the power to process them. And then he changed his angle hitting something inside so right and you bit his shoulder to ground yourself to the earth.
“Oh fuck cariño, did you like that?” He kept hitting the same spot and it became too much too quickly.
“Javi… I don't know… I don't think… Oh God” you tried to say anything between your moans but didn't even know what you wanted to say.
“Is it too much?” he lowered his head to look at your eyes directly. “Really? Don't say it unless you want me to stop.”
“D-Don't. Don't stop.”
“So you do like the idea of me being more than you can take? How I'm stretching you just past your limits… Tell me carino, have you ever been fucked this good?”
Your pussy pulses and the pleasure is so mind-boggling that you almost scream. “No, just you Javi, oh God, only you.”
He shudders and grabs your hips so tightly you're pretty sure it will bruise. Oh, you want to feel it, feel him not just inside, but all over, for days. His tempo falters and you realize he must be just as affected.
“Fuck, fuck fuck… I need you to come cariño.” he says circling your clit gently despite the frantic coming of your bodies. “Dámelo hermosa, give it to me.”
He finds a particular spot and by the way your breath hitches he knows that's what he should keep doing. It takes less than a minute for you to crash again, fluttering all over him and you can feel every pulse of his cock when he starts to come.
Your heart feels like it will burst out of your chest, even after the excitement passes. You cannot categorize that powerful feeling as just orgarm endorphins and that scares you.
Javier moves a little to look at you with those eyes sweet as chocolate and the difference between this moment and your intensity just minutes ago set up an alarm inside you. Danger! Danger! Your brain seems to put a sign with bright red light. There's feelings in there, but you they won't last. Men are fickle and unreliable at best, brutal and destructive at worse. You cannot allow yourself to be fooled by it.
You step away from him clumsily.
“That was… a great way to blow up some steam.” you say and he frowns. “Who would have thought, huh?” you try to smile but you don't have complete control over the expression that takes over your face.
You move towards your clothes but Javier grabs your arms. “Don't do that.”
You carefully remove his hands, gaining some semblance of composure. “Do what? Acknowledge it was good?” You make quick work of getting dressed and he remains unmoving, with his parents around his knees, wide stance, cock visible in all it's glory.
“I'm the king of unnatachment, sweetheart, but even I can recognize this was something else. If you want to act like it didn't mean anything go ahead, but know you're not fooling me.”
You tried to be as nonchalant as possible. “You're giving far too much credit to your abilities to fuck. It doesn't need to be anything more than that. We can still sleep together, even. I love fucking first thing in the morning.” you said while going towards the dors.
Outside you took a deep, steadying breath. It was fine, it was going to be fine. You'll be gone in a few days anyway, just need to keep it together until then.
