Express Lane to Hell

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[crazybarks42]

Random NPC who will stop existing after I’ve finished their quest and I probably will never see again: Here, your payment. It’s not much, but it’s all we have.

Me:

Me: But you need that for your family

[legalizevore]

my dad guillermo laying it out

[terror-billie]

His table is piled high with food he will never touch but he will kill you for taking the smallest morsel, even if you are starving

shit how did I completely miss the point of this part

[martunamajor]

Also, his eyes aren’t in his head. They’re in his hands. He only sees what he reaches for, what he desires, what he wants.

[shorts-muchacho-papi]

[the-real-ted-cruz]

what level of woke

[priestessamy]

Guillermo del Toro is a fucking artist and he knows what he’s doing. I love that man

[edgykoalagod]

When a cat head become too big for your hands reblog if you agree

[princesstigerbelle]

what about cats getting way too big to be held

[thembo-cyanide]

[artoffreddieniem-blog]

【男神九勇士】「第一代原版组图：各有二幅全身照的」 今年泰国最大同志泼水节派对「SongKran泼水节派对」官方宣传海报：@SongKran泼水节派对 ； 男模·GOGO-Boy 花名册 ins 依次： runssm、samuruma、 yoshihiroyr、naottica、  go_kenta、 kenshirotricomi、marujin25、yutobrave、alex_v90  。 摄影师 Uto Zawao  IG： richman625 | Costume by GX3 Underwear

我在微博：@森林画册  

[bikiniarmorbattledamage]

Look, I think its safe to say we are all tired of the same old fantasy hero designs: hidden away in layers of protective steel, scruffy and unkept looking in leather or just walking around with a tattered rag.

What the genre needs is more men like this: immaculately groomed in stylish, empowering outfits that let you know they’re both physically powerful, but also emotionally powerful due to their strong connection with their sexuality.

The kinds of men that men really want to be (even if they don’t admit to it).

- wincenworks

(h/t @bagarete)

[jumpingjacktrash]

i was just thinking as i scrolled through the photoset: this is the male equivalent of those oddly sexified yet gorgeous outfits female characters in rpg’s always have, and i am 900% on board with it.

[cassandrasdreamworld]

@raendown @purple-possibilities @kunoichi-ume

[raendown]

I have a mighty need for some redraws and y’all know exactly why

[duskanaragemother]

give female dwarves bears you coward

[duskanaragemother]

i meant beards but honestly i stand by this

[saintcranky]

[helaas--pindakaas]

please... if you’re going to attempt to speak in “old” english

THOU is the subject (Thou art…) THEE is the object (I look at thee) THY is for words beginning in a consonant (Thy dog) THINE is for words beginning in a vowel (Thine eyes)

this has been a psa

[gehayi]

Also, because H was sometimes treated as a vowel when the grammar rules for thou/thee/thy/thine were formed,THINE can also be used for words beginning with H. For example, both “thy heart” and “thine heart” appear in Elizabethan poetry.

[veryrarelystable-deactivated201]

For consistency, however, if you’re saying “thine eyes”, make sure you also say “mine eyes” instead of “my eyes”.

Further to the PSA:

Thou/thee/thine is SINGULAR ONLY.

Verbs with “thou” end in -st or -est: thou canst, thou hast, thou dost, thou goest.  Exception: the verbs will, shall, are, and were, which add only -t: thou wilt, thou shalt, thou art, thou wert.

Only in the indicative, though – when saying how things are (“Thou hast a big nose”).  Not in the subjunctive, saying how things might be (“If thou go there…”) nor in the imperative, making instructions or requests (“Go thou there”).

The -eth or -th ending on verbs is EXACTLY EQUIVALENT TO THE -(e)s ENDING IN MODERN ENGLISH.

I go, thou goest, she goeth, we go, ye go, they go.

If you wouldn’t say “goes” in modern English, don’t say “goeth” in Shakespearean English.

“Goeth and getteth me a coffee” NO.  KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Usually with an imperative you put the pronoun immediately after the verb, at least once in the sentence (“Go thou” / “Go ye”).

YE is the subject (Ye are…).  YOU is the object.

Ye/you/your is both for PLURALS and for DEFERENCE, as vous in French.

There’s more, but that’ll do for now.

[theliteraryarchitect]

Oh wow. Reblogging for reference.

[coffeetwosugars]

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

[actualtrashbag-deactivated20170]

holy f uck jane

[coffeetwosugars]

its a serious question

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

[coffeetwosugars]

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

[coffeetwosugars]

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

[generallyhuxurious]

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

[coffeetwosugars]

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

[the-negotiator]

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

[coffeetwosugars]

now that u said it im really surprised as well

[rainnecassidy]

what the fuck did i just read

[manynamedshe]

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

[thewinterotter]

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

[audsbot]

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”

“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”

“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

[constant-instigator]

Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“you what now”

[wearewakanda]

Why museum professionals need to talk about Black Panther

[Spoilers] The seminal film Black Panther has become an international sensation in the week following its release. Notable for its impeccable dialogue, witty banter, and nearly all POC cast, Black Panther provides a platform to discuss a multitude of topics on a national scale.....

[nativenews]

Museum Guide: These items are not for sale.

Killmonger: How do you think your ancestors got these? You think they paid a full price for it? Or did they take them like they took everything else?

[kaijutegu]

I work in a museum- an old one- and during this scene I was nudging my brother the whole time. I clapped a little at that line. Museums need to rethink the way we curate things. If we aren’t elevating the heritage of those objects’ creators, if we aren’t telling their story, if we aren’t making those narratives accessible to the descendants and letting them lead, then what is even the point? Decolonize collections. Practice co-curation. Hire scholars of color, and make the collections accessible to visiting scholars. Involve the descendant community and elevate their voices, not the white colonial narrative.

And for goodness’ sakes, don’t run your museum like a jewellery shop. Have context. Honor the objects for their beauty, but remember that no object is as important as the people who created it.

[heres-lou]

Ummmm,, and like straight up, give things back? Indigenous communities in North America have campaigned for decades to have body parts, ceremonial items and sacred parts of our history returned to their communities.

Ofcourse, Hurd scholars of colour and think critically about your role. But like sometimes, you just have to give things back.

[kaijutegu]

That’s repatriation (what I meant by “decolonize collections”) and it’s actually been federal law in America for almost thirty years. It’s been happening and will continue to happen, but it’s a LOT more complicated than just “give the stuff back.” Obviously you’re totally right- giving the stuff back is absolutely necessary. 

But at the same time, giving ALL the old stuff back to Native groups doesn’t really work, either- for us OR for them. What happens to the stuff when it goes back? Do the modern Alaskan Athabascans really want the 1000+ baskets the museum I work at holds? (No, they don’t. We asked them. They definitely do not want those baskets back.) What about Native groups who don’t want remains back- the Navajo, for instance, believe that the remains of the dead are taboo objects, unclean and best left buried. And there are some Native groups who actually WANT their objects in museums. Not every object has a ritual context- sometimes a pot is just a pot. Even some ritual objects aren’t as spiritually important, and we’ve actually had people from different tribes come in and help rewrite language surrounding an object, or give instructions as to how it should be stored. Some groups really want us to display their cultural artifacts, because it reminds people that Native American cultures are alive and real. 

One thing that works really well in a lot of cases is co-curation, which is when we commission and work with Native artists, leaders, and scholars to reframe the way we display objects. Like, recently, we asked Chris Pappan, who’s a Kanza artist, to come in and draw on the displays from the ‘30s. The juxtaposition of his art with the colonialist view of Native Americans has had a huge impact in visitor impressions- people go to that gallery now to learn and see what’s ACTUALLY happening today with Native Americans. This I think is how these institutions can use their power for good- elevating creator voices and letting them present their own past and own history. The Field does that a lot- we’ve had exhibitions from Rhonda Holy Bear, Bunky Echo-Hawk, and are continuing to work with Native Americans from many tribes to redesign and reframe the objects on display. We’re not doing this for social justice points- we’re doing this because the Field Museum gets something like 1.5+million visitors a year, and we owe it to the Native tribes we stole from to a.) tell their story b.) how they want it. 

If you take all evidence of Native Americans out of the big natural history museums, you’re taking away representation- and education- and a lot of tribes actually don’t want that. What many groups want is the old colonial narratives to go away and be replaced with their own messaging and history. Native Americans are mythologized and what we did to them is sanitized in the US education system. I know that the person who responded is in Canada- and from what I hear, they’re even worse about destroying Native history and sanitizing what the colonists did (and continue to do) to them and their cultures. And this is where I think museums can actually HELP. People only care about things they’re familiar with. If the only image you have of a Native American is a racist football mascot, you’re not going to care about them as a culture- you’re not even going to see them as people. There’s a lot of white people who don’t believe in Native Americans. Like, they legit don’t think that there’s ANY Native groups left, and I know this because I’ve talked to these people at work. It’s baffling, how little Americans know about their own country’s behavior. And it’s totally a global problem- I could go on for days about what the British Museum Needs To Do With Those Fucking Marbles, Give Them Back You Cowards, You Have Enough Money To Ensure Their Care In Greece You’re Just Being Assholes- but I wanted to respond with a Native American context because of the person I’m replying to AND because… well, most Americans don’t know this, and they need to, because knowing about repatriation and why we do it is important. 

Repatriation is so very vital, but it’s even more vital to listen to the Native American groups and ask them what they want to happen- as well as treat each tribe individually. We don’t hold onto Tlingit remains because the Navajo don’t want their remains back. Treating all tribes as identical is wrong- not as wrong as withholding their precious cultural traditions, relics, and remains- but if we’re even going to (as a museum industry) attempt to apologize for the atrocities we’ve sanctioned, the first thing we gotta do is ask people what they want. 

And the next thing we gotta do is listen.

[thotbonnetpepper]

[theclassiestheaux]

I think I’ve watched this like 100 times today and I’m still crying

[icecewbs]

This kid is so fucking funny im losing my mind

[atinybeanchild]

best comedy of the year 10/10

[un-rare-deactivated20151106]

let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them

[huntinthedwellin98]

everyone knows that the real way to show someone you love them is to find them a really cool rock. not a diamond. just a neat rock that you think they will enjoy

[anonymoussong]

[elvenkingtranduil-deactivated20]

Not a rock THE  ARKENSTONE 

[glorfy-the-bright-haired-ellon]

Why just one rock Why not three Why not the silmarils

[mondknight]

#i’m pretty sure there’s an entire book on the topic ‘why not silmarils’  (x)

[desidesidesi]

And one on why not the arkenstone

[cakeisnotpie]

You’re right. Just get them a ring.

[bcfurs]

[totally-not-nyarlathotep]

do not get them a ring

[penelopevalentine]

Can’t not reblog this again

[grifalinas]

Tolkien’s legendarium can be summarized as “put that (shiny) thing back where you got it or so help me”

[frosted-cinnagrifs]

@friendly-neighborhood-trash-king

[dateamonster]

original theory: succubi are always women, incubi are always men 

facts: in fact succubus comes from the latin word “succubare” which means “to lie under” and incubus comes from the latin word “incubare” which means “to lie on”

new improved theory: incubi are always tops and succubi are always bottoms. gender doesn’t matter at all.

[cookinguptales]

Actually, this is pretty much true as far as medieval demonology goes. There are texts that actually specifically deal with this subject. Those texts were written to explain how demons procreate, because the idea was that they can’t do it on their own. Incubi and succubi were the same creature. Succubi were basically sperm receptacles; they seduced folks with dicks and “stole” their semen. Then they shape-shifted to incubi and popped that semen in a vagina. Boom. Creepy demonic babies. Rinse and repeat.

Like, obviously these ideas had a lot of use to explain uncomfortable phenomena in the mundane world, from sleep paralysis to extramarital pregnancy, but they also served a theological goal, which was explaining how a demon would get working semen in the first place when they shouldn’t be capable of making life. (Life was seen as a sacred gift from God, basically, so demons were obviously exempt.) It’s one of the many examples of Shit Getting Weird in old manuscripts when people tied themselves in knots to reconcile popular folklore with Christian teachings.

[tofixtheshadows]

It’s come to my attention that I have not yet made a post about Farmer’s Market Hot™.  

Farmer’s Market Hot is a specific kind of aesthetic that is the result of me watching Orphan’s Black and trying to describe the hotness of Cal to others.

See my point?

Farmer’s Market Hot is a wholesome kind of hot. Rugged but approachable. It’s not the kind of hot where you immediately go, “Oh my god they’re so perfect, I want to take them home and photograph them/tear their clothes off.” That’s for later.

This is the kind of hot for people who would visit the farmer’s market to buy some organic cheeses on their way to pick up their kids from their Creativity Through Music class. It’s the look that says “I’m here to support our local beekeepers.” You see them and it makes you want to settle down. You want to do your taxes with them, raise dogs together.

It’s borderline hipster without the elitism and irony, borderline country without the sound of Tim McGraw. If they’re white, racist shit like dreads automatically disqualifies them.

Guys will most likely be stubbly, or bearded, but not to the point of lumberjack. Think Chris Evans in between Marvel movies.

Pictured: a man who wants to buy artisan bread from a stall and be polite to the merchants.

Imagine a woman with a sunflower tattoo, wearing a high-low dress and clunky dependable boots, holding a dog’s leash while she waits at the knife sharpening booth. Imagine a man wearing flannel and holding a baby while talking about ethical alternatives to quinoa.

Farmer’s Market Hot™.

Add this to your vocabulary.

[nourgelitnius]

It’s that time of the year again, so I felt the need to bring this back.

[blackhorseandthecherrytree]

farmer’s market hot

[feralkwe-deactivated20210912]

the quality content i am here for

[vampiresandbunnies-deactivated2]

I can’t not post this gif now

[penguinschasingbutterflies]

Quick, someone who’s never seen He-man (1983) caption this photo.

[penguinschasingbutterflies]

@brennacedria replied to your photo “Yesssss! Finally got around to dying my hair, and I LOVE it! Thank...”

Nice �� what base color was your hair under it? I can't do straight blues, cause I can't bleach 1st & blue over brown has always given me not-good greens. So, I do a mix of after midnight and purple haze. It's more purple than blue, instead of toning out the yellow, but I still love it. (Also I've needed to do mine for a month now, it's COMPLETELY gone, but can't get around to it.)

I had my hair dyed pastel blue, purple, peach and rosette a couple months ago.

It washed out (even following pretty much all the advice of the hair dresser) in 2 weeks. Leaving it that really pale peachy yellow you might be able to see. That’s the color I dyed over.

I really don’t wanna have to bleach mine again (realy dark brunettes apparently have to bleach twice to get it light enough uuuugh), so I hope it’ll look okay on my hair even on the dark. I don’t mind if it turns green, as long as it’s an okay looking green.

But yeah, coloring hair takes so much energy.

[sailor-moon-rei]

by  ふしぎのミナス

[penguinschasingbutterflies]

Yesssss! Finally got around to dying my hair, and I LOVE it!

Thank you, Manic Panic Voodoo Blue. (Even if you do look more green shaded in this picture. Lol)

[penguinschasingbutterflies]

JUST SAW WONDER WOMAN AND OMG IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

I just want all the DC movies to be about her in the future pls? Well, maybe her and Grant Gustin’s Barry Allen/Flash... But yeah, more movies with her pls.