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|| 23 || poetry/art || she/they || W.I.P ||

[penoferos]

But times will come and pass

Despite what it leaves in you

Im terrified yet ready

Will I know what’s it’s like to finally breathe?

[penoferos]

I shut my eyes and let out a shakey breath

I know it’s for the best but my heart won’t stop pounding

Is this what the first step of letting go feels like?

[penoferos]

“Your deity”

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If you’d like to keep up a bit more I’ve now created an instagram with the same name. It’s about the same delays because o honestly lose motivation a lot. But I do post on my story a bit more often.

As always thank you for your support, if you’re reading this I have a heart felt message for you guys coming up..🖤

Sincerely, penoferos 🖋️

[voidic3ntity]

these words I write & these wounds which I heal,

through doors & down alleyways, portals & hallways:

all is soaked, the liquid landscape, behind closed eyelids,

effervescence & elegance, secrets of the forgotten realms,

translucent auric union, such is the companionship of spirit;

& within such vast of silent starlight, twilight communication,

lost in transmutation, within these lucid moments of infinity.

[voidic3ntity]

'VESSEL OF AMNESIA' is available now: soundcloud & youtube.

TRACKLIST:

1. INTRO - WE ARE FUCKING STRANGE ILLUSIONS

2. FORMATION - THE HAZE OF DISTANT FOG SMOKE

3. DARKNESS - & WITH YOUR INITIAL MARKS ETCHED

4. INTERLUDE - SELF-MADE INSTRUMENTAL TRACK

5. RESURRECTION - THE VAST AMBIGUOUS MASS

6. CRYSTALLISATION - ENTHRALLED BY THE FLESH

7. OUTRO - SELF-MADE INSTRUMENTAL TRACK

over the past 10 months I've put everything I've had into making this project, from the writing to the recording to the beats to the production, everything is self-made & everything is self-taught...

I thoroughly believe it is the highest quality piece of audible art I have ever created, it is the first step to making the 'voidic3ntity' brand into the multimedia project I've envisioned since day one.

I want to thank every single person who has ever taken time out of their day to read or to listen to any of the words I have etched, it truly means the world to me that so many people find so much value in my art & I cannot thank you all enough for your support!

[voidic3ntity]

thankyou for all the support since the project released yesterday! I'm so grateful that so many of you find so much value in my art, & that so many of you would take time out of your day to listen!

to those of you who haven't heard 'VESSEL OF AMNESIA' yet, please take some time to listen & let me know what you think!

[voidic3ntity]

valley of death; take me into your hollow & dissolve my wounds.

[weltenwellen]

Natalie Díaz, from "American Arithmetic", Postcolonial Love Poem

[penoferos]

Darkness has surrounded the enfeebled mind that resides in the broken innocence of a young girl

Introduced to a bone chilling atmosphere

She no longer had the simple thoughts of colors and numbers but that of a mature yet tormented adult

How can one live with themselves knowing they destroyed that?

So young yet she knew too much

Maybe , just maybe had that moment of realization ceased to exist would she be the demented being she is now?

Would she still have become the very vile people that ripped that from her?

Would she ?

The questions bounce around, shoving her mind even further into a familiar abyss

One would think it ends

But it doesn’t

Endlessly

Endlessly

Endlessly

Mortals continue to cause her harm

Why?

Was she not meant to reside on dirt and stone made from mankind?

Despite everything she experienced, she has a heart too pure yet broken so often

Retracting her trust, now her brain is scattered.

For all to see

But how many more will betray her ?

Break her ?

When will it end ?

The anxiety of not knowing who will hurt her next leaves her breathless

She panics and begs

“Don’t hurt me don’t hurt me, of everyone why you?”

Her eyes search for an answer, but she only senses selfish deception 

was it all meaningless ?

is she merely an escape for another human being to release their pain?

were all the promises fake ?

they numb her but get upset once she fights back.

they corner her yet get upset when she no longer stays quiet.

She shrieks in agony , unable to withstand anymore 

it grips on her heart, this fear.

The pain stripped her of the ability to feel like them

to feel like a human 

the words repeat in her mind over and over and over again.

Will everyone do the same?

it seems as though her entire existence is only undertaking the betrayal 

caged in by fear, yet who truly cares?

if it doesn't benefit them, do they truly want to be in her life?

“Who’s next?”

[psyche-tips-the-candle]

I think

Sometimes

That the worst kind of falling

Is entirely stationary.

Just me

Weightless

Lost

The room, full.

Myself? Empty

And there is nothing to cling on to

No relief of any painful end

Just the fall

And the dread

And the silence.

I think, perhaps

That I never learnt how to land.

I think I am certain

I will keep falling

Forever.

[penoferos]

Sorry for slacking off

There’s so much going on and I got writers block on top of that

I promise I have poems I do want to share but just have been busy with work and personal life things

I swear as soon as I am back on track I’ll be posting as often

I might even post today

Thank you to those who are still here and supporting me, you guys are the best <3

Hope this week has been good to you

[voidic3ntity]

episodes of chaos, disordered & delirious, the motion ceases, unable to control, absent-minded distractions, highs become lows, these reflections of loss seem to encompass all things: in moments of collapse the pain seems so permanent, & the poignancy of darkness without the recollections of blinding brilliance seems far too sharp; merely the corpse of another lost child, beauty & torment, bound by binds of the broken bonds, visions of violence, etchings of scarification, mere vicarious through empathic elegance, nightmares of sick minded creatures attempting to conquer darker demons.

it's strange how sometimes we see reflections of ourselves in worlds of alienation & in words which intend to sear the flesh from the bone marrow of an adolescent still too naive to recognize the vast wrongdoings of harm which have been inflicted as self-congratulatory harm: an inner sickness which reflects upon every last mark of self aggrandized abuse, violet & vermilion, the colours of stained flesh, tainted by trauma too dark to speak upon, only visible when moonlight seeps through the blinds & the candid hue begins to engulf the room, only then do the vast etchings of self-hatred begin to be seen as victimless witness; too frail to forget, too sharp to recollect, endless agony.