Max @penultimax - Tumblr Blog

paradoxial-cunt

bog-goblin

Toucan discovers a traffic cam. video

biggaylion

Today is the day this toucan discovered a traffic cam

you can only reblog it today

aquilacalvitium

Missed this last year by 50 effing minutes.

aquilacalvitium

Hell yeah I’m scheduling this again.

translatingpostsinfrench

pourquoi du pain est masculin mais la baguette est féminine....... la baguette est transgenre ?

je vais laisser la communauté parler:

la baguette, icône trans?

oui

non

Voting ended onOct 12, 2025

translatingpostsinfrench

eh bah

translatingpostsinfrench

10k notes pour un post francophone sur tumblr macron où est mon poste de ministre de la culture

thriftstoregoofs

retail customers never cease to amaze me with their audacity. still fuming over this customer last night that didn't get to the register until it was time to shut them down even after being told multiple times "hey please take your stuff to the register so we can check you out and be able to close on time :)" and then as she's being checked out by my coworker she stops me in the middle of my shutting down all the other cash drawers to be like "you have beautiful eyes 🥺" like ????? bitch i know this! and flattery won't change the fact that you ignored my cues for you to LEAVE when i gave the store a 5 minute warning, a 3 minute warning, AND my DIRECT saying to your goddamn face "we're closing, please go to the register so we can check you out :)" yeah ive got beautiful eyes and they're STABBING you!! with KNIVES!!! GET OUT!!!!!!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!! RAAAAAAAA I AM GOING TO EAT YOU. retail workers should be allowed to hunt customers for sport if they're still in the store at closing time

penultimax

why is this endless ikea but specifically the version from SCP archives podcast

#scp archives #scp

dementedgnomicwizard

today at work this kid (ill call him Kid 1) was having snack w his friend (Kid 2) and kid2 had a kitkat bar. kid1 asked if he could have half and kid2 said no to which kid1 responded verbatim “Kid1 Has Banned Kid2 From Entering Heaven” and it startled me so badly i nearly started crying laughing

dementedgnomicwizard

kids are the funniest people in the world when i worked at an elementary school during lunch one day the class unprompted started talking abt what they wanted to be when they grew up and this kid beckoned me over and was like

kid: when i grow up i want to be a cristopoper

me: a what?

kid: a cristopoper

me: i don’t think i know what that is!

kid: it’s a person who comes up with the names for different careers

me: oh, that—

kid: yeah, i just started my career. just now

me: oh my god

like he fucking got me. thats genius. thats a well constructed bit. he was 8