S

I can’t help feeling.

[peoplecallmeselfish]

Haha depression *bites lip while sobbing

[peoplecallmeselfish]

I have lived 23 years like this, I just need to do it for one more month

- My move out mantra

[peoplecallmeselfish]

I could’ve left and never came back. I should’ve gone away sooner. I shouldn’t have paused. I shouldn’t have double guessed myself. Because now I’m stuck again. Now I can’t move again. There’s nowhere to escape to anymore. Again.

[stresssoanddepresso]

My soul is so god damn exhausted.

[peoplecallmeselfish]

I get so nonfunctionally depressed at night...

[peoplecallmeselfish]

I will allow myself to be consumed by this mental escapism until something tangible makes me happy again. I know I’m the only one who can find myself, but when life appears to be just one large roadblock away from happiness, what’s the point of my existence in the real world?

[peoplecallmeselfish]

I can’t wait for the day to come where I can sit in the living room of my own house, listening to piano music while reading a book. That is the life goal, and the aesthetic I strive to encompass.

[thoughtkick]

“A year ago, I would never have pictured the way my life is now.”

— Unknown

[peoplecallmeselfish]

I have 3 days until I start working a real job. One with decent pay, and benefits. One with a set schedule.

If you would’ve told me that this would happen at the start of quarantine, I wouldn’t have believed you.

[4am-reflections]

no one talks about when you have to breakup with someone you still love. is it because it’s uncommon or because it’s something that you’re supposed to conceal? it’s not a normal ending, you sit there breaking someone’s heart while simultaneously breaking your own even though you know it’s for the best. when it’s over where does that love go, because all i feel is it sitting next to the guilt- i can’t believe i hurt them, why didn’t i just give it a little longer, this is my fault. and the regret- what if it was the wrong choice, maybe we could have fixed it, i want them back. but you know things weren’t working, you know love isn’t always enough.

4am

[peoplecallmeselfish]

Yea, I could pull the string once to get the blades to slow down. Of course, I could also speed up their pace with a few extra tugs. But perhaps the easiest option is letting them continue going around as they currently are, as then I won’t even have to stand up. Yet it is awfully hot in this room, and being in such a stagnant place really doesn’t feel good either.

[peoplecallmeselfish]

“Where my feelings didn’t reach you, they’re reaching someone else.”

- Isn’t that amazing?

[nothingwithoutwords]

“you call me fragile like it’s a bad thing. like it doesn’t take any strength to pull my pieces from your hands and mold myself into the person i was before you ever laid a finger on me.”

— shelby leigh

[peoplecallmeselfish]

“I value this relationship way too much to purposely or accidentally hurt you.”

- that is the first time I’ve heard anyone say anything even remotely like that to me and it has struck the biggest nerve.

[soulreserve]

detached.

How do I gather what’s softly unfolded detached from me and left?

you. my heart.

© SoulReserve 2020

[rivkahhannahsf]

[peoplecallmeselfish]

“Then why are you dating me?” She asked. He was taken aback. What kind of question was that? Why was he dating her? Was she implying they should breakup?

“We only see each other at school, and we haven’t been on a date in over two months.” He could hear the end of the accusation lingering: so how are we even dating? The words seemed distorted.

“I’m not mad, I just want to understand.” And she really didn’t sound angry, just distant. But he didn’t know how to respond to it. It’d have been easier if she had been yelling.

“I guess I don’t need a response right now. But it’s really something you should think about.” And as abruptly as this conversation started, she hung up on their three hour long phone call.

[siickangel]