pepperoni combos

some call me tim

[quite-quirksome]

Today is the anniversary of this iconic tweet

[sheabutterbitch]

When something tragic happens, tumblr is the only social platform you can escape to. The whole world could be in shambles and y’all are shitposting and reblogging pictures of tiramisu as usual.

[transhumanesque-deactivated2020]

the fact that jellyfish are dumb as bricks instead of having a subtle intelligence as befits their elegant aesthetics is pretty funny actually

they could be these beautiful beings worthy of a deep respect but they're just fucking bags of slop

[kata4a]

oh like you’re not

[quartercirclejab]

animal crossing is stressful

[socialistexan]

The Onion just nailing it lmao.

[classicsnake]

THE FACT THAT THERE’S PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF SNAKES MAKES ME SO SAD I MEAN

[iguanamouth]

look again

[seventeen-cold-showers]

I looked up mad max: fieri road and I was not disappointed

[unskinny]

I can never just scroll past this ridiculous post without reblogging it. 

[heartsnbruises]

I AM AWAITED IN FLAVORTOWN

[thefloatingstone]

[aw-dag]

You know every show that the premise is like “people find out ghosts/monsters/demons are real and are charged with stopping them” appeal to me way more now as a post-graduate not because I believe in ghosts more or whatever but because can you IMAGINE just being handed a job that you don’t even need to apply for? Like just being told “basically there’s this bad thing and all you do is make sure it doesn’t do what it wants” that’s just customer service baby and I worked that for 6 goddamn years! Just TRY getting past “I have a job to offer you” before I can jump down your throat agreeing.

[aw-dag]

some idiot with a dumb ghost-hunting name who joined the Cause because they love the paranormal: oh fuck oh shit this is really scary guys I’m having second thoughts

me, who knows that if we run away I have to apply to like, a real actual Jobbe again: wakey wakey demons it’s this or retail so guess who’s got nothing to lose

[astrotheyge]

Good Omens + The Good Place | Aziraphale + Michael

[arcnoise]

dad bod spiderman can’t drive

[arcnoise]

well MAYBE he can, but he’s a miserable parallel parker

[fieldbears]

god fucking damn it

[katanma]

this took me far too long to get, but then I cackled.

[thealogie]

Aziraphale/Crowley amnesia fic would be so funny because…of course it involves infinitely tender caretaking and softly angsting over “oh no this version of him that doesn’t remember is hitting on me even though real him doesn’t love me so I must control myself” but also on the other hand it also involves the absolute comedy of whichever one of them doesn’t have amensia having to cover for the other with head office,,,,aziraphale doing crowley voices at the tv screen like “yes, I’ve been a very VERY wily serpent. wiling around. much much sin to be had by all, absolutely corkingly diabolical schemes…such as, uh, causing more poverty” and everyone in hell is really impressed like “oh usually you just make the tube delayed in the morning. really great change of pace!”

[clefairytea]

“You go too fast for me, Crowley” is an absolutely incredible line in that it knocks out every single gay who hears it and renders them incapable of coherent speech for a good half hour but also it’s so incredibly fucking funny. It’s been six thousand years. Six thousand years and ‘you could come to my place maybe idk up to you’ is too fast. There are literally tectonic plates that get on with things a bit swifter.

[killowave]

[lynati]

…oh godDAMMIT.

[victini]

You can control white people by giving them cheese

[0ndo]

cheese is so good tho

[victini]

I got one

[marcitlali]

imagine being the first amish bitch in your village to like get your body done like ass shots titties done and like beat face contoured… and then you walked into like the saloon or whatever amish people have and everyone dropped their irish fiddles and was shookedt? like everyone churning butter was just in shock and you walked across the artisanal wood floors in your wantmylook.com thigh high lace up heeled boots like your life depended on it… yes god

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

my mans jedediah looks away in humility but you KNOW he’s churnin butter that night……milkin a different cow…..

[blkreginageorge-deactivated2017]

Why y'all doing this when you know the Amish are not here to defend themselves.

[thetyrannosaur]

World Heritage Post

[villa-kulla]

Pride & Prejudice / Good Omens - Cinematic Parallels

because I can’t be the only one who was thinking of this scene

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I don’t know anything about good omens but this is killing me bc it looks like they’re all in the same scene together having an argument