[mysharona1987]

[emilysblunt]

Bonus: 

[betterbemeta]

You have a thing at 2:00 PM so you set a reminder for 1:00 PM because you don’t want to be late, but you should eat by 12:00 PM. That means you should start preparing food by 11:30 AM, but you want to double check or confirm the appointment before 11:00 AM before everyone goes to lunch. So if you want to finish your other tasks by 10:00 AM, you ought to start at 8:00 AM, which means you’ve got to wake up at 7:30 AM and you may as well get ready to go out then ahead of time, and that’s how something that starts at 2:00 PM effectively starts at 7:30 AM and lasts the entire day.

[myworldinboxes]

ME. ME. ME.

[faribabyyy]

Literally how I plan my day when I have a thing

[sad-jew-with-cake-deactivated20]

my sister-in-law, who has no kids and does not spend time around children ever, decided she wanted to take my kids on an “outing” yesterday. (she sees them like 4 times a year usually). she took them to some weird historical u.s. military fort museum thing, it’s like a big compound with like 15 buildings enclosed by a fence. anyway my 5-yr-old saw one of those red metal fire alarm boxes on the wall and asked his aunt “what does that say?”

now the correct answer to this question, in my opinion, would be “that is a fire alarm. we only touch fire alarms if there is a fire. if there is a fire, you would pull the handle and it would make a very loud noise so that other people know to get out of the building.”

according to several reliable sources, my sister-in-law’s answer to the question was, “it says ‘pull.’”

so anyway that’s how they managed to evacuate all 15 buildings at the museum and why this is probably their last “outing” for a while.

[pleasestopandrew]

[l00katu-deactivated20181015]

The only real question

[toastbutteregg]

this is my life in summary

[tackminyard]

harry can’t duel

harry can’t duel

harry cannot duel

he only uses expelliarmus and he cannot duel

even if he’s dueling the FUCKING DARK LORD

[quillsand]

Imagine the conversation ministry officials must be having when they see his auror application:

“He’s Harry Potter!”

“I know but that doesn’t change the fact-”

“Harry! Freaking! Potter!”

“We still need him to attend extra duelling lessons-”

“We can’t put Harry Potter in extra duelling lessons!”

“He only ever uses one spell-”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at it.”

[coloneltomarry-deactivated20180]

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times. - Bruce Lee

[rainymeadows]

destroy the idea that bunk beds are just for kids

especially the sort where the lower bunk is actually a desk or a couch

i mean

come on

tell me you don’t want one of these

i need it

[mogifire]

I have always thought about this

[blackbellybella]

When I get my studio apartment I’ll have one for sure

[followthebluebell]

human brain: beds go on the floor

monkey brain: SAFER UP TREE

[glumshoe]

I hate when bird parents get mad at me for rescuing their children.

Don’t want me touching your kid? Fine, YOU crawl down there and use YOUR super-dexterous hands with opposable thumbs to gently lift your son out of this window-well. Oh, you can’t do that? Then shut up and stop swooping me, you ungrateful leftover dinosaurs.

[geekdawson]

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

[glowpatrol]

last time i had sleep paralysis that kid Wen from lemonade mouth stood at the end of my bed and did the rap to Determinate for like 3 hours straight and i haven’t slept peacefully since

[glowpatrol]

I tried to warn y’all

[amthsts-remade-deactivated20191]

It wasn’t sleep paralysis he was actually there he actually broke into your house and intended to rob you but you woke up and he had to improvise

[adobsonartworks]

The most patriotic thing an American can do is question/challenge authority and rules.

[weavemama]

They can flip off this country all they want considering the fact it was theirs first.

[journalistpeterparker-deactivat]

Isn’t Mt. Rushmore sacred to native peoples? Kinda fucked up we put their killers faces on it

[weavemama]

Yes. Before the sculptures were built, the land was sacredly owned by indigenous tribes. In 1980, the land was illegally taken away from them by the supreme court. Not to mention, one of the main people who manufactured the sculptures was literally apart of the KKK… So yeah.. they are more than welcome to flip off these so called “masterpieces” 

[snowie-skyes]

Anyone know if this is true of false?

[weavemama]

I literally…….provided sources…………..

[ninenine-brooklyn]

[roxilalonde-deactivated20251105]

showing up late to a meeting with an iced drink is a power move. like with hot drinks the cup is opaque and people cant tell the temperature so they dont know how long ago you got it. maybe its hours old. maybe you just got caught in traffic. who can say. but iced drinks. its clear. they can see the ice. they can see if its still frozen. they look you in the eye and they know you were standing in line fifteen minutes ago and made the conscious, deliberate decision to get a mocha frap instead of being on time. and then you made ANOTHER conscious, deliberate decision to bring it into the meeting with you, informing everyone in attendance that on your list of priorities, each and every one of them ranks firmly below one (1) mocha frappuchino.

[glumshoe]

When I was in Morocco, none of my twenty-something male roommates knew how to crack an egg. One day, I tried to teach them how to make breakfast, instructing them to tap the shell of the egg carefully but briskly to crack it.

The next moment played before me as if in slow motion as my tallest roommate immediately slammed the fresh egg I’d given him into the stovetop with all his might, sending an explosion of raw egg all over the kitchen.

[shavingryansprivates-deactivate]

[dopenmind]

Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.

[idiotlibra]

this is my favorite video on the internet

[hashtagloveloses]

mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet