I'm F*ckin Awesome

No, seriously. My mom told me

[perksgal28]

Upcoming TV shows of the 2017-2018 season!

When Dictator Trump is elected, we will have so many great tv shows to look forward to (based solely on actual shows that have either aired or were in theatres)! Feel free to add your own. The Purge - the yearly weeding out of lower income families and POC's all in the name of stress relief! Hosted by Chris Christie. The Hunger Games - also held annually to weed out disenfranchised youths all in the name of power! Hosted by Rudy Giuliani. The Apprentice; Dictatorship - a show solely focused on eliminating any and all opposition in what remains of the government by forcing congressional members to maim and maul fellow members in a 'Saw' like setting before Dictator Trump yells 'You're Fired' and boots them over the wall. Hosted by The Dictator Himself along with members of the ruling family. 'Don and Vlad' - the warmhearted show showcasing the friendship between two best buddies through a series of slapstick situations engineered by Kellyanne Conway. Project Runway - a terrifying and fast- paced glimpse into Milania and Ivanka Trump's ever changing fashion sense where the clothes are made only for them by former top designers who publicly voted for the Nasty Woman while chained in the basement of The Whiter House. Hosted by Milania Trump and Ivanka Trump. #TheFutureIsNow #IVolunteerAsTribute

[yourbaristaprobablyhatesyou]

This has to do with coffee.  I promise.  Just bear with me.  *deep breath* I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT WE ARE HAVING TO HAVE THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION THAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING! Stop. Full. fucking. STOP! entertaining the notion that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are equally noxious candidates.  I fucking get it. Clinton doesn’t mark every box on your absurd checklist of ideological purity. She thinks every world problem has an american solution. She’s got money and she’s got friends with money. She’s an unapologetic capitalist. She’s a master at making political sausage and all the ugliness that tends to go with it.  So fucking what?  DONALD GODDAMNED TRUMP, Fuckface von Clownstick himself, is her opponent. This dude carries endorsements from actual nazis and the muthafuckin KKK. He’s got goddamned animatronic fuckwaffles at his rallies assaulting black people and threatening the media.  This bloviating turd storm is threatening to jail his political rival and use the power of the government to litigate against his detractors. If he loses? The election was rigged by his crooked opponent and well, theres some second amendment solutions to that.  This is an authoritarian wet dream.

But hey man, Clintons just as bad because she deleted emails? Fuck you. I aint even tryin to be polite about this anymore. If your heads were any farther up your asses, we’d need to replace your abs with a window so you could see where you were going.  Clinton is a talented, capable, intelligent and experienced politician. She’s thoughtful and patient. And if nothing else, her emails (if you actually read them) point to a woman who genuinely cares about doing whats right for this country and its citizens. Does her vision of whats right differ from yours? Sure. But she’s provided ample evidence that she’ll listen to, consider and consult with experts when your vision and her vision come to odds.  Trump? That tumescent, bilious vomit sack (and the people he would empower and validate should he win) poses a real and present danger to everyone in this country who isnt a white christian male. And he doesn’t fucking care.  So spare us the goddamned pity party and/or the smug appeal to political reductionism.  “but you said this was about coffee!” I lied. But hey, global warming is going to destroy the coffee supply and Trump still thinks its a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese to ruin our economy. So there’s that.  So get off your ass and vote Clinton.  Because if you dont, when Trump has folks goose stepping on the whitehouse lawn, you dont get to a part of my super cool underground resistance movement.  We’ll have sweet leather jackets.  And coffee. 

[perksgal28]

I feel all of this on a deep personal level.

Took the words out of my damn mouth. Trump is a twatwaffle.

[joshpeck]

this is so funny & pure

[psyducked]

I’m such a happy Chewbacca!!

[officialjiggly]

my mom

[lampsarepeopletoo]

This is the best

[perksgal28]

I love this so SO much. #HappyChewbacca

[thegenialginger]

[hannahdoes-stuff]

PSA the ppl who do these vids are from Minnesota

[moandkatelive]

This is too ridiculous not to reblog.

1) the music 2) how does the person in there even see? 3) also skating over its own tail 4) how is NO ONE on the ice fazed by this at all? 5) skating over its own tail 6) also is it hot in there? 7) there is a freaking T-Rex on the ice- how is no one staring?

[characterlimit]

8) going so fast the head tips right back so it looks like it’s permanently screaming

[perksgal28]

I would TOTALLY watch the Olympic ice skating if everyone wore one of these.

[perksgal28]

This happened. A full on waterfall. It got worse. So much worse.

[perksgal28]

Someone decided that our windows were the PERFECT canvas for... whatever that is. It took me 20 minutes of hard scrubbing and bleach to get it off. It was super fun.

[perksgal28]

Monster blueberries.

[afrodesiacworldwide]

[chi-dan]

BRUH KEVIN HART NEEDS TO BACK THIS UP

[f0llar]

Lmfaoooo!!!!!!!!!

[mariposa-nena-deactivated201911]

LMAOOOOOOOO YEOOOOOOOO

[democraticsenator]

I AM FUCKING D E C E A S E D I NEED TO BE RESURRECTED AFTER SEEING THIS FUCKING VIDEO PLEASEEEEEEE

[bang]

AAAAAAAAAAAA

[perksgal28]

#Dead

[perksgal28]

When the SM texts to ask if you can be at the store to open it by 11....

[humansofnewyork]

“It’s our first date. We met on Fire Island. I wasn’t even planning on going out that night. I’d already drank half a bottle of Johnny Black so I was just going to stay in and read my Chelsea Handler book, but my friends promised to bake me cookies if I went to the club with them. So I went to buy three bags of cookie dough, and when I finally got to the club all my friends were making out with somebody, so I was like ‘this sucks,’ and I just started dancing by myself and eating the cookie dough. Then I saw him by the DJ booth and we made eye contact so I went over and started sharing my cookie dough. We never actually spoke. Then a few months later I ran into him on the subway.”

[perksgal28]

That is one hell of a 'how we met' story. :-/

[disneyladiesfromlastnight]

[perksgal28]

Every single Tuesday.

[perksgal28]

Store 729 lumberjacking it up!

[perksgal28]

Lookit that drain. LOOKIT! It's gorgeous.

[sizvideos]

[perksgal28]

Dawwwwwwwwww

[weloveshortvideos]

[gh0stvirgo]

NO THIS IS SOME QUALITY CONTENT

[perksgal28]

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINED A GIRAFFE SINGING THIS. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

[sbucksbarista]

Reblog with your first three digits of partner numbers in the tags. I wanna see how long ya’ll have been with the company.

[perksgal28]

#187

[towlersnow-deactivated20210528]

[perksgal28]

Lolololol