Permission Notes

Removing our limitations, finding freedom to thrive.

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO FINISH

An interesting thing has happened. We said everything we have to say. We’ve given all the permission we have to give. We could keep on posting but our notes would change from permission to preaching. That’s the last thing we want to do.

If anyone would like to continue Permission Notes in the sprit in which we started it, we’d like to give it to you. Email us at [email protected] if you’re interested

Other than that, the only thing left to do is thank you for reading and joining in. We hope the notes were helpful.

— Jeff and Jemima·

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO LOVE THE WEATHER

Complaining about the weather is a famous British national pastime. There seems to be more complaining about it than actual disliking it. I wonder if admitting to liking the weather might cheer things up a bit. I wonder if choosing to like or at least appreciate the weather, no matter what it’s like, might cheer things up even more?

Maybe a positive view of weather might help us see more of the beauty and power of the ecosystem in which we live and move and exist. Maybe it’s okay to love the weather.

—Jeff Gill

We’d love to hear how you are taking charge of your thriving. Message us with your permission note.

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO LET GO OF THE OUTCOME

I need more work than I have at the moment. I’ve been pushing on a lot of doors to see what happens. Over the last few weeks I rebuilt my website, created a nifty self-promotion piece have applied for five jobs, been asked to two interviews, went to one (on close inspection, the other was a dud), got none.

Along the way, I had a new business idea that I think has more long-term viability than anything I’ve come up with before. And it ticks nearly every meaningfulness and happiness box on my list. I wasn’t expecting it to show up. If everything in my work life was going smoothly, I would have not have been tumbling the thoughts round my mind that allowed this idea to emerge. If I had had a fixed idea of what work I should be doing, I would have dismissed it as a waste of time. Fortunately, the idea found me open and curious.

It’s far too soon to know if this idea will work. What I know for now is that it’s got more energy with it than anything I’ve felt in a while.

Feel free to let go of the outcome and you might find yourself going somewhere unexpected and wonderful.

—Jeff Gill

We’d love to hear how you are taking charge of your thriving. Message us with your permission note.

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO (POLITELY) COMPLAIN ABOUT BAD SERVICE

I’m learning how to give feedback to a company about bad customer service in a friendly and helpful way. I’m learning how to be friendly while pushing back and asking for a fair deal.

Normally my flight-flight-freeze instinct takes over and I want to either bite their heads off or else quietly wander off and not say anything. I am terrified of the staff glaring at me if they know it was me who complained.

This week a somewhat-friendly Starbucks staff refused to give me a refill on my gold card. Starbucks’ policy is that if I buy any latte, I get a free refill in the same visit. The staff at this store has refused me in the past and they did it again this visit.

So I sent a friendly email to customer service. They promptly – and I mean promptly, like, within an hour – credited my account with $7 and an apology.

—Matthew Staton

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO REST

I took a couple hours to play in the snow with my daughters yesterday. I’ve been off Facebook this week and I’ve been taking more walks. My wife is quitting her Saturday morning volunteering at an animal Sanctuary. We haven’t been to church in weeks.

I just now stopped typing for a couple minutes to watch snowflakes falling through sunlight (and I’m not going to Instagram the moment).

The fact is, my family and I are tired from two decades of stressful modern life. The last seven years have been particularly intense. And right now we’re in the middle of some new unexpected tumult.

In the middle of it all, we’re trying to make sure we rest. That means various things in various moments – getting off social media for a bit, being more intentional with our commitments, unloading unnecessary things. Because we have a lot of life still to live, a lot of ideas to try, a lot of things to do. We’d prefer to do them full of energy and joy.

—Jeff Gill

We’d love to hear how you are taking charge of your thriving. Message us with your permission note.

permissionnote #permission #note #notetoself #postit #rest #selfcare #thrive #recovery #restday #recoveryday #energy

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO JUMP

You know that big change you’ve been thinking about? There are no guarantees. The new business may fail. The relationship may end. The house may fall down. But if you don’t try that thing that’s been burning in your soul, I think you’ll regret it. And the rest of us will be poorer for your inaction.

So, you’ve done the research, talked to the people you trust, made the plans… If what you’re waiting is permission to start, here it is: You have permission to jump.

If you’ve made a jump, we’d love to hear about it. Message us with your jump permission note. Or visit permissionnotes.com/submit

—Jeff Gill

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT (EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW IT WON’T DO ANY GOOD)

Because sometimes, for your own sanity, that’s what you need to do. · —Jeff Gill

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[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO FOLLOW THE MUSE.

Yesterday, I was taking a walk. I intended to think of ideas for this week’s The Misprints comics. Instead I felt a story idea wanting to happen, so I went with it. Sure enough, after a little time tumbling thoughts around my head, a really nice story idea showed up.

When I have a number of projects on the go, I find it works best to go with the one that feels most interesting and promising because there is an idea that wants to happen. If I force myself to think about something else, I become doubly unproductive. I squish the idea that wants to happen and I’m not in the right mindset to receive the idea that I’m trying force into my head.

—Jeff Gill · · Like, share, spread the love! Share your own note by visiting permissionnotes.com/submit or sending us a message.

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO STOP FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS.

Happiness is a lovely feeling. More often than not it shows up as a result of the choices we make to live in a positive way. It’s not something we can directly control.

When it comes to other people, we are doubly out of control. We can’t control other people’s choices or their emotions.

I used to consider myself a failure as a husband when I couldn’t make my wife happy. Then, one miserable night many years ago, I was struck with the thought that it’s not my job to make her happy. It’s my job to be the best friend, lover and partner to her that I can possibly be. Whether or not she’s happy is down to her choices and the vagaries of the emotion fairies.

You’d have to ask my very excellent wife to be sure, but I think this realisation has made me a better husband. It’s certainly made me less stressed and uptight.

If you are feeling responsible for someone else’s happiness, you don’t have to. That’s not your job.

—Jeff Gill

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[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO CHANGE YOUR MIND.

It’s ok to eat food you have previously refused to try or really disliked. That just means you’re open to trying new things.

It’s ok to cancel an engagement or meet up that you had previously committed to. That just means you know yourself and your limitations.

It’s ok to admit to liking a movie you’ve previously criticised or mocked. That just means you’ve learned to be honest with yourself.

It’s ok to want to visit new places. That just means you’re learning to broaden your horizons.

It’s ok to make new friends. That just means you’re doing new things and going to new places.

Changing your mind about people or places or things is an indicator of strength, not weakness. It’s an indication that you’re responding to yourself developing and growing. It shows that you’re honest enough to admit that something has changed and you want to recognise that in your life now.

I hate change.

But change is good.

—Suzanne Buckley

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO NOT BE SPECIAL.

I grew up thinking I was special, that there was something uniquely wonderful about me. I thought I was powerful and immune to the misfortunes that afflict the less wonderful people. So…

When random tragedy struck my life, I was shocked.

When my words didn’t bend the universe to my will, I became angry.

When I eventually realised that, statistically, I’m not special at all, it was tremendously freeing. I didn’t have the pressure to be constantly awesome. I stopped being angry at a universe that didn’t pay attention to my puny voice. I no longer agonised over why bad things happened to me because I realised that bad things happen to everyone sometimes. I stopped taking credit for the wonderful things that happened to me and accepted them as gifts. I understood the profundity of the serenity prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

—Jeff Gill

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[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO LEAVE YOUR TRIBE.

We’re all part of some tribes – family, community, company, religion, nationality, sports team, club, etc. We humans are social creatures, so tribes are essential to our survival. Tribes provide us with safety and identity.

But sometimes tribes begin to feel like prisons. It happens when your world expands and your tribe’s rules no longer fit reality. It happens when your tribe’s rules prohibit you from being who you actually are.

When that happens, it’s probably time to leave the tribe.

Leaving is hard. It’s hard for you. It’s hard for your loved ones in the tribe. Sometimes they won’t understand because the tribe still fits who they are. Sometimes you walk away with fond farewells and extended grace. Sometimes you flee in the dead of night.

When it’s time to go, don’t hang around. You have permission to leave.

@jqgill

PS When you leave, you won’t be nearly alone as you imagine. The world is full of people who left and found new tribes or who found that, after a while, their tribe came with them.

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[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO TELL YOURSELF THE TRUTH.

Twenty-three years ago, I sat in an immigration office in Tuscon, Arizona. I was trying to get information about how to move my soon-to-be wife from the UK to the US. I sat waiting for a very long time. As I waited, I got angry that I had to wait. And then I got angrier. And then I accidentally thought an honest thought to myself. I thought: Why do all these Mexicans get to go before me? I’m an American! I shouldn’t have to wait for these people!

In that moment of honest thinking, I discovered that I was a racist. I was horrified! I was deeply ashamed.

But that realisation was one of the most important of my life. Once my racism emerged into the light of my conscious thought, I was able to start purging it from my life. If I had kept it hidden, it would still be with me today influencing the way I think about people.

I thoroughly recommend being honest with yourself. The pain is worth it.

—Jeff Gill

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[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SAY NO For years I’ve found it hard to say no to people. I’ve done things that don’t feel right for me and my path at times, I’ve learnt a lot in life through just going ahead with certain situations. Now, I’ve learnt to know when something is right for me. It’s important to remember you don’t owe anybody a thing. You’re allowed to simply do the things that are right for you. And if by saying no is right for you, then say it. Don’t be afraid to let people down. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO BE WRONG.

You’re a human, a medium-sized mammal on a tiny planet in an incomprehensibly large universe. You aren’t all-knowing and infallible. You see the world from your own limited viewpoint. It is literally impossible to be right all the time.

So why not embrace being wrong? It’s much easier than carrying the impossible burden of being right all the time. Being comfortable with being wrong opens you up to learning and growing and, counterintuitively, to being right more often.

You can practice now by saying to yourself, ‘I was wrong about [thing you were definitely wrong about].’

If you’re feeling brave, say it out loud to a friend!

With practice, admitting you are wrong might become as natural and normal as actually being wrong. And there’s nothing wrong with that!

—Jeff Gill

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[permissionnotes]

You have permission to: - [x] Be a beginner at any age I think it’s the fact that we’ve been wanting to do something for so long that we hold ourselves back sometimes. Sometimes we put something off because we feel we should already be pro at it. But rather than looking at the big end picture, it could help to look at the little baby steps of how to get their first. Everybody has to start somewhere. And it’s never too late. If you want to start learning how to speak french at the age of 67, riding a bike at the age of 59, playing the piano at 80. Everybody has their own journey, their own pace, if there’s something you want to learn, look inwards to yourself and start. Embrace being a beginner, enjoy the initial steps. Success is progress.

[permissionnotes]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO MISS OUT.

So many influences in our culture tell us that we are missing out. That we need to do this. Or have that. That we really should…

If I believed everything I read, I would think:

We aren’t earning enough

We aren't achieving enough

We aren’t using our time efficiently enough

My kids aren’t in the right school (they aren’t in any school)

I have thrown away my career by stepping out to parent full time.

We ‘need’ a bigger house, a second car, at least one foreign holiday a year.

I am doing what I love. And loving what I do. My family means the world to me and I am proud to sacrifice for them. We dream of having less, of earning what we need to live, of slowing down. Of keeping things simple. Of valuing relationships and experiences over things.

What has gone before has been great. But now we’re making choices to miss out. And it feels good.

— Suzanne Buckley, justafamilystory.co.uk

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