When someone passes away, they are sent to their happiest moment in life. The people who were with them there are also sent to spend their last moments with loved ones. You weren’t expecting yours to be with you boyfriend, Heeseung, more specifically in your old apartment.
genre~
ANGST man heavy angst, slight fluff but not really
warnings~
mentions of car accidents, main character death
unedited as usual
You were going to die.
Your fingers grazed the silk bedsheets, your delicate hands familiar to the touch. Your thumb wrapped around the extra fabric giving it a light tug. The muted blue sheets raise slightly, and the smell of fabric softener filled your senses as you closed your eyes.
You were going to die.
You could hear the rain tapping on the window near the bed and the sounds of bird chirping at the sight of worms. Cars were blazing through the main street and an occasional honk sounded. At the fourth honk you opened your eyes.
You were going to die.
Your eyes stayed on the ceiling, the white paint slowly chipping in the corner. You stayed like that for another moment before sitting up. You let out a bated breath confirming where you were.
You were going to die.
First thing you see when you sat up was a polariod. The photo was placed on the neat, organized white desk with a stack of papers in the middle. The photo was in a beautiful golden frame with accented details engraved in the metal. It was a photo of you and your boyfriend, Heeseung.
Today was the last day you would be seeing Heeseung because you were going to die.
You have lived this day before; waking up on the silk sheets, hearing the rain tap on the window, sitting up to look at the picture frame. You have lived this day before and that only means one thing. You were going to die.
You began to cry. Violent sobs fell from your mouth as you brought your knees up to your chest. Pained screams sounded from your mouth as you frantically sputtered out phrases such as "no" or "this can't be happening" because it just could not be happening.
You were healthy with no signs of fatal death or chronic illness. Last thing you remember was driving in a car with- oh no. A car crash, it had to have been a car crash. Last thing you remember was someone hitting the passenger side of Heeseung's car sending his into a spiral down the surrounding cliff.
Your ringtone disrupted your thoughts and you wiped away your tears with one hand while the other reached for the phone. "Hey."
It wasn't his usual chirp voice that always made you wake up a little more in the morning. His voice was calm, but you could tell there was fear hidden behind it.
"I-" You paused bringing your lip into your mouth as the tears began to form again. "I don't want to go."
Heeseung froze on the other end, halting himself from entering his car, the very car that was wrecked in the future. He rested his free hand against the top of it and then let his head drop to his forearm. He closed his eyes tightly not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to say. What do you say when the person you love is about to die, no is already dead, and there is no way to stop it? What do you say when you are about to lose the person you love?
"Y/N." His voice cracked as he tried to find the strength to speak. "It might not have been you. I'm coming over, like I did that day, or this day? I'm- I'm coming over."
"It was me. We go hit on the passenger side there's no way it wasn't me."
"Just- I'm coming."
He hung up, not the best thing to do, but what else should he have done? He couldn't sit there and dwell on what is to come, he can only ensure that this day goes according to plan.
Sitting in the driver seat he started his car giving it a hard punch on the dashboard, "That's for ruining my fucking life."
It took him 10 minutes to arrive at your apartment, and in those 10 minutes you have not been able to move from your spot on the bed. You just looked at the photo of you and Heeseung on your desk.
Today was the day he called you early in the morning to sing you a song. He claimed to have stayed up all night just to write the chorus and he was eager, a bit too eager to show it to you. This was an incredibly happy moment in your life, but was it your happiest? You were sure the happiest would be the day you two got an apartment together, or maybe when you two went to visit his family that one Christmas. But it turns out it was this day.
A few knocks on your door signaled that he was here. He had his own key to the place and allowed himself entry. His guitar was slug around his body as he stopped in front of your room. While everything was familiar to him, it was also foreign. This was your old apartment when you two first started dating. He remembers it like the back of his hand, but it had been so long since he's seen it.
"Y/N," He pushed the door open to reveal your crouched body, eyes not moving from the picture with tears tracing your face, "I have something to show you.
"He wanted to breakdown at the sight of you. This would be the last time he saw you; this would be the last time he would be with you.
"The living room." You croaked out. "We need to go to the living room. It happened on my sofa."
"Oh right." Heeseung must have forgot. His mind was clustered with other thoughts.
The two of you slowly shuffled to the living room and it seems like it's been so long since the two of you were here. It didn't take long to get to the worn-down leather sofa in the middle of the room. It was as comfortable as you remembered it and the feeling of it was too nostalgic now
"So," Heeseung took a deep breath and gave a shy smile, "I wrote you a song."
You remember the song vividly, how could you not? How could you not when it was a song professing his undying love for you? That must be why this was your last moment, you felt so much love after he sang it, and you must have wanted to hear it again like it was the first time.
"Did you now?" You let out a struggled chuckle that quickly turned into a quiet weep. You were trying to stay strong for him, but it was all too hard. It was too hard to be here and never want to leave.
"Yes. I stayed up all night perfecting it. Can you tell by my bags?" He too began tearing up, the crack in his voice exposed that. He wasn't even sure if he'd be able to sing.
"Well, I can't wait to-" your voice got caught in your throat and you couldn't continue the act. You couldn't continue to act like nothing was happening because something fucking was.
You were going to die.
"Hee," You continued to cry, "I can't. I can't do this."
Heeseung ditched his guitar and took you in his arms. He held you as the two of you sobbed to each other. "Shhh.”
He rubbed your head resting his chin on top of it after as he looked around the apartment. He was a bit shocked to see this was your last memory, but as he is back here it began to make sense. You loved this song when he first sang it and you forced him to sing it for you all the time. You were infatuated with it. "I don't know how long we have here, but I would like to sing." Heeseung spoke once the two of you calmed down a bit. He wanted to sing for you. His voice was always soothing to you.
"Yes." You sat up and rubbed your eyes. "Please sing."
He picked up his guitar from the side of the sofa and rested it on his lap. His hands rested on the strings but didn't play for a moment. The realization finally hit him.
"Heeseung?" You waited and he looked up to you. You tilted your head, and he licked his dry lips.
His shaky fingers grazed the strings and it let out a soft bellow. He then began to strum on the guitar. At first you thought that you forgot what his song Polaroid Love sounded like. Whatever he was playing was not what you remember hearing, but as he continued you realized it most definitely was not the first song you hear. This one was different, but his voice was still the same.
"The time we couldn't meet left me feeling uneasy
But I felt warmth in my heart
You're out of reach, not in front of me
But this feeling is like you're right by my side
Touching you."
Heeseung began to sing, his voice raw from just crying, and he grimaced at the rasp.
"No matter how far apart we are
This voice will never falter
Overflowing emotions
They won't stop."
His voice was better now, less raspy, but you could still tell he cried before this. Your mind was reeling with what was being sung. You didn't know how to react.
"This emotion can't be expressed in words
It's screaming in a raw voice
I'm falling, falling for you."
He teared up again.
"This is for you."
You sat for a moment just looking at him. He finished singing and he couldn't bring himself to look up at you just yet. You took a deep breath and then scooted over to him on the sofa. Your hand reached for his.
"Hee." There was a crack in your voice as you rubbed your thumb on his palm. "You wrote that for me?"
"Sure did." He chuckled. You said the same sentence exactly 5 years ago. "Was it good?"
"Just as good as the last one." You cupped his cheek bringing his gaze to meet yours. "Thank you Heeseung."
He stared into your eyes, the two of you basking in this moment. "Thank you for the song. Thank you for the song before. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for giving my life meaning. And most importantly, thank you for loving me. You were the best thing to happen to me. I know that we will find each other again someway, somehow. You are my forever, Heeseung."
"Y/N," He free hand raised to grab your hand that was on his face. He rubbed it never wanting your touch to go away. "I love you. I will always love you. You made my life so, so much better. I will always be with you, okay?"
"There's a note. If you go in the closest in the purple box, there's a letter. I kept it there just in case if something were to happen and I couldn't talk to my friends or family. I didn't think it would happen this soon." Heeseung pursed his lips, and you tilted your head.
"What are you talking about?" Your eyes squinted slightly as you dropped your hand from his face.
"The notes have names on them. Can you give it to them?" He smiled at you, the smile that you fell in love with.
"Heeseung, stop. What are you talking about?" You sat up from your slouched position. You reached for his hand once more and held it tight. "What are you saying?"
"When I wrote you that song, I was so excited to show it to you that I rushed over right when I finished it."
"Yes. I know you called to make sure I was awake." You were trying to follow along, but it was becoming too confusing for you.
"When I sang it to you, your face when hearing it was nothing like ever before. You looked at me with such love, you looked at me as if you loved me. You looked at me with love." He squeezed your hand.
"This night we went to a party. You got so, so shit faced. You don't remember and I never pried or told you, but you told me you loved me." He looked away letting out a reminiscing laugh.
"I told you I love you?" You remembered the party, or at least the moments before. You blacked out before getting home and Heeseung brought you to your apartment and stayed the night. The morning after you officially said you loved him when you heard the song, but it seems like your drunk self was one step ahead.
"Yeah. You said after hearing my song you realized you were in love with me. You told me the song made you realize you loved me." Heeseung spoke and it all started to click.
"No. Hee, no." More tears came that you didn't know you had, and your hands gripped his tighter. "No, Heeseung stop."
"Y/N-"
"No! You didn't die I did. I died because my door was hit. I died." You couldn't believe. He couldn't be dying. This wasn't real.
"When the car tipped my side fell and then it rolled over and was upright." He was trying to calm you down and brought his hand to rub your arm.
"No, I was hit. I'm the one who died stop." Just when you were starting to accept your death you come to learn it is not you who died, it was your love who did.
"Listen to me, hey listen to me," He gripped your arms to have you look at him, "I love you. I have loved you and I will never stop loving you. Please don't dwell on my death for too long. Grieve but don't have it control your life."
His hand then traveled to your face, fingers brushing over your skin to wipe the tears.
"Heeseung," You whimpered with blurry eyes. The sensation of his hand was no longer on you, and you looked down to see what was going on. His arm was gone, and he was slowly fading.
"We don't have much time." He looked down at his invisible arm. "Come here.”
You closed your eyes and took three breaths and then let him hold you in his embrace. You rubbed your head against his chest trying to calm him down for his last moments. You wouldn't be so selfish as to ruin it.
He began humming into your ear, it was the song he sang this day five years ago, it was the song when you realized you loved him. You tried to hold back your tears, but small droplets were falling. Heeseung now sang and held you closer. You wrapped your arms around his one arm that rested on your waist. Your back was to him, and your head was in the crook of his neck.
You looked up to see his face one last time. His eyes were closed but the wet tears were present on his face. You looked at his lips. You looked at his perfect nose. You looked at him in all his beauty for the last time because he was going to die."
"Heeseung." He continued singing. "Can I see your eyes.”
He opened them, there was a slight redness and puffiness.
"I've always loved your eyes."
"By now his whole lower body had disappeared and half his upper body was going too. Heeseung kept his eyes open, but you closed yours to nestle in his neck again. You thought about how good it felt to be in his arms in that moment and how incredibly lucky you are to have this.
Sitting like that for a few more seconds and you felt your head loose it's support. You held it up though and your arms stayed in place.
You could still hear his voice and his final words," I love you."
"I love you." You whispered back, still holding yourself in place.
Your calloused hands stayed wrapped around your dainty figure. you sobbed into your arms letting out heavy breaths. "I love you" you held your body tighter.
The touch of your fingertips rubbed your barren shoulders sending waves of warmth to your skin. The touch bringing the comfort you so needed.
"Don't cry now." you whispered again. "Don't cry."
The tears kept falling as your knees were brought closer to your body. you pictured Heeseung was still hugging you, that he was still with you.
In your mind that's all you could see, but to anyone else all they saw was a broken girl trying so desperately to make herself feel better. All they saw was a girl struggling to stay with him.
With your eyes closed you didn't notice the room around you disappearing. Your old apartment becoming nothing but a memory once more. Still crying, you curled into a ball on the hospital bed, legs raising up to be held in your arms. People began to rush into the room you were in and ask questions, but it was all a blur.
You pictured you were still in your apartment, still with him.
Oh wow! I sent in my earlier ask before realizing there was another chapter out!
Makes sense now that it was his brother, since they are similar ages. Now I am scared it’ll be hard for him to get over the fact that she killed his family. I hope his little brother is okay!!
Maybe this will be like the Winter Soldier and people need to remember she was drugged and mind controlled.
I am super sad about Hobi thought. It was heartbreaking to read how both Hobi and JK were trying to fight her but not injure her. Sucks that she was not her true self to understand what was happening 😭
i posted after your ask was sent!
but i do have many ties to marvel universe so we will see 👀👀
and yes they didn’t want to hurt oc since they knew it wasn’t her truly, jk especially due to knowing more about her past
thank you for reading and let me know if you want to see anything/ have any critiques! :))
Just came across Almost Yours and I am HOOKED!! That last chapter, OMG.
I really hope oc’s memory comes back (unless she is faking it to get back with the Lim’s and act like she is on their side). If her memory is truly gone, I hope she will gain it back and realize what happened!
I really like her and JK together. I’m also curious if it was she who was supposed to kill him since she said it took having to kill a little boy before she got out of the mind control. I know RM saved him, but I wonder if he saved him after he wasn’t killed.
Can’t wait to see what happens next!
Hello!
First, thank you for reading! I am glad you enjoy it so far :)
The recent chapter clears up who she was meant to kill (her and JK being close in age he wasn't the little boy but lowkey I was trying to have it be him, but the age just didn't work)
This recent chapter was more of a filler for plot, but the next chapter will dive more into the past, character feelings, and tie things together!
warnings: mind control, murder, character death, anxiety, battles/ mafia fights, usual mafia things, mentions of wounds in detail
A/N: unedited, as usual lol. this chapter is a bit of an experimetnal one, possibly will take down and change??? but please enjoy it nonetheless!
SCIAMACHY: a battle against imaginary enemies; fighting your shadow
After dinner at the Lim's, you were left with an empty feeling. They explained the situation- the kidnapping, the party, the explosion, the rescue, everything. And your brain could not comprehend the events that unfolded.
It was strange to have amnesia, again, a solid chunk of time taken from your memory, and you had no way to access it.
You were weary to trust the Lim's. Yes, they have been hospitable and ensured you were treated well in their care, but it was almost too well for someone you just met. But you decided to go along and follow their requests, but you still kept an eye out for anything weird along the way.
Soobin explained his role in Bangtan, he was a spy that was there to collect intel on their moves. He explained the horrid things they did, how they killed relentlessly and with no mercy.
He gave you a rundown on the main seven, and when being shown the photos, you can't help but feel a sense of familiarity to their faces, but maybe it was due to the kidnapping. But what would Bangtan want from you? Perhaps it was your skills. Or something else.
"Y/N?" A knock sounded on your door as you tightened your ponytail. "Are you ready for the debriefing?"
"Yeah!" You called out to Soobin. "Just finishing getting ready. I'll be out in five.”
You straightened your jacket and looked at yourself in the mirror one last time. Opening the door, Soobin stood with a grin. He led the way to the briefing room, and you followed behind.
You didn't want to be doing this, you never wanted to be in the mafia world again, but Bangtan brought you back. Though you don't remember, you heard from the Lim's that they were wanting to hurt you, and you could feel a sense of vengeance brewing. You were back in this world because of them, and they were going to pay for it.
"Welcome everyone! Thank you all for joining. A new member is here today, please welcome Y/N!" People around welcomed you. Your hand raised slightly in response. "Now let's go over our logistics."
You zoned out at this part, none of it concerned you and the lack of sleep was starting to hit.
"Y/N." your name was called which caused you to look up. "You will be training to go against Bangtan and take them out for good."
Take them out for good. They wanted you to kill again.
"I'm not so sure..."
"We will train and see. It is your choice in the end." A lie.
"Now everyone please go to your delegated area. Y/N, you will be coming with me." The room slowly became empty, you stayed in your seat waiting for it to clear out.
"Follow me, I have someone for you to meet." He had his usual grin, but this one was a bit more ominous than the other ones. Despite your hesitation, you followed unknowingly to what would be your demise. The halls were dim, and the walk was short. He knocked on a door and then entered. Stepping in there was a man sitting on chair, his back to you and a cane in hand.
"Sir." Soobin bowed despite his figure being turned around. "She is here."
"Lovely. Thank you, dear Soobin." The man stood up; he adjusted his hat. The cane moved and he followed. Stepping forward he lifted his head and immediately you sucked in a breath of air. Frozen. That's what you were, frozen. Body stuck and mind blank.
"Why do you look so scared seeing your dear uncle?" Leeho looked just like he did all those years ago, but you could see the age settling in.
"What? What is going on?"
"Dear, you didn't think we actually saved you, did you? Still young and naive I see." He began his advance forward and instinctively you took a step back but halted. You can't show him fear. "We got you back because we need you. Moreso, we need the old you."
"No." You shook your head. "No!"
Soobin was quick to grab your arms and another man in the room grabbed you too.
"My sweet killer." Leeho lifted his hand to brush against your cheek. In any other situation this would seem so loving, an uncle and his niece reuniting after many years apart, after thinking each other were dead. But no. This was sinister. This was cruel. This was worse than anything before. "Welcome back."
A syringe entered your neck, and the fluids were being pushed in. Your body started to go numb and then limp within seconds. Soobin and the other man dragged you to the chair, chains and handcuffs being placed on your arms and legs. Oh god it was happening again.
"We have improved our syringes and formula. You are about to become our best secret weapon." Leeho had another syringe and placed it in your arm. This fluid hurts going through your body. You screamed as it made its way through your bloodstream.
The pain, the memories, and the absolute desire to not be alive helped.
It had been a solemn day at the Bangtan manor. Men were still cleaning the explosion and repairing the area that was affected. The smaller organizations were ordered to prepare for anything that may happen.
The main seven resided at their nearby safe house. Everyone there walked on eggshells around Jungkook who spent most of his time training. He would go for hours on end until his knuckles were bleeding and body running on low energy.
He couldn't believe you were gone. He felt so stupid to move away from you, to leave you. He blamed himself that you were gone and that he didn't keep a closer eye on Soobin.
He just couldn't imagine what they were doing to you. He heard of the stories firsthand, and it was gnawing at his soul just thinking about it.
"It's been hours, Jungkook." Namjoon stood against the door frame, hands in his pockets. “You need rest.”
“No, I need to get her back.” Jungkook thew more punches as the bag letting out grunts.
“And you will if you rest. How will you save her if you’re passed out from exhaustion.”
“Do you have any more leads, information, or just anything?” Jungkook ignored him and continued punching.
“We have intel she is in their main facility. No word on what they are planning to do.” Namjoon stepped forward to Jungkook. “But we do have a spy that is trying to get more information. We are preparing for an ambush.”
“When.”
“When we get more information. Still training and looking for more spies in the child organization. If we proceed with this ambush, it would be a select few individuals. I’m going to have a briefing in five. Finish and get there.” Namjoon patted his back.
“I’ll just go now.” He had one last punch and then took the towel from the ground to wipe his face.
“Okay. The boys are already there.” Namjoon took the lead, and they walked in silence to the room.
Stepping in, the atmosphere was rather dark. Everyone there looked distraught and had dark circles under their eyes.
“Welcome everyone. You are all here and probably know why.” Namjoon pulled up a map on the screen. “You are my select individuals to help ambush the Lim’s. Look around and familiarize yourself with the people here.”
Jungkook looked around and saw the main seven, a few of the higher organization leaders, and a few others. Jungkook spotted Mark in the corner of the room- the man whom you spoke to when they captured him.
“What is he doing here?” Jungkook knew you didn’t want him here, he listened to your conversation from that day. “She doesn’t want you here.”
“Doesn’t matter what she wants right now.” Mark was short and didn’t want to fight.
In all honesty, Mark was way in over his head going back to the Lim’s. He, like you, were used for experiments and tested on like their own guinea pig. Though they did not make him do the things you did, the tests didn’t stick in him, and they ended up having him just be like a sidekick for you. Once you escaped, you made a plan for him to leave too, and he did. And he owes you his life for this, it’s the least he could do.
“Right now, we have our own spy in the Lim’s. They are sending information as we speak on the facility in order to make sure this goes smoothly. For now, let’s go over the plan.”
He pointed his lazar at the screen. “The main entrance is where Yeonjun, our spy, will be located. He will hack the system to let the gates open. Cars 1 and 2 will come in from this side. We will let you know which car you are to be in. The right side is where Jungkook, Mark, and Jimin will enter. The left is for Taehyung, Yoongi, and Jin.”
Everyone nodded and Namjoon continued to explain the plan, though Jungkook was barely listening. He was more focused on his own plan; doing anything to save you.
Today was the day, and the Bangtan mansion was in a frensy prepping for the events that are to unfold. Men were running around to fill up the vans and making sure they have everything they need.
"All units leaving in two. Be in your van." Namjoon said over the radio that it transmits to everyone's earpieces. Jungkook was already in the van, he had been prepared since early and even wanted to leave before everyone else but knew he couldn't. Everything had to go as planned today, and one wrong move could be detrimental.
"Units are ready to go." Namjoon spoke again and that is when Jungkook lifted his head. In his van sat him, Hoseok, Jimin, and Mark who drove the van.
"Let's go get her." Mark started the vehicle and Jungkook sat back, fingers dancing along the side of the door.
Jungkook would say he spaced out the whole drive there. He looked outside the window but did not take in any of the scenery along the way. Before he knew it the car halted. It was go time, they just needed the cue from Namjoon.
“We’ll get her, okay?” Hoseok patted Jungkook’s back trying to ease his nerves. Though Jungkook thought he would be holding it in well, the anxiety and pure unease flowed off him.
"Van two and three go." Namjoon gave them their cue and in seconds everyone exited the van filing out. Guns in hand they broke down the side door, eyes focused on any moving target they saw. Jimin led the team, his gun up shooting anyone that stepped in the way. Behind him was Jungkook who both shot and physically fought anyone who got close enough to feel his punch.
"Team spread out and cover each room! She is in one of these units here. Try to not draw too much attention as the main entrance is the diversion for this." Jimin ordered and each man took off accordingly.
Everyone splited up, going into separate rooms. Jungkook scaled the closer ones, Jimin went left, and Mark when right. Hoseok when down to the end of the line and entered each room in haste. Gunshots were flying and men falling each second.
Hoseok rounded the corner and noticed a room with a keypad lock. This had to the be room. Grabbing the man on the ground, he lifted his hand to unlock the keypad.
You were on the other side; the commotion had woken you from your induced state. An IV was entered into your body and you ripped the line from your arm. Your body was wobbly when standing but your mind knew you had to act.
Hanging to the left was a full suit, you were quick to change and noted of all the armor in the hidden pockets. Knives were located around and you held one in your hand. The right door opened and one of the Lim’s men entered with a gun up.
“Give that to me.” He seemed like a younger recruit, and he acted without thinking. He threw the gun at you and both of you entered the spare room, but Hoseok had already managed to open the door. He shot the younger recruit, and you went behind the door cocking your gun.
“Y/N?” The man spoke and you took this as your time to shoot. He was quick to dodge and tackled you to the ground, effortlessly kicking the gun out of your hand. God, you needed to get it together.
Now that you were in close contact with him, you saw him as a member of Bangtan. Bangtan. The name bitter to your tongue and it caused an adverse reaction in your psyche.
“You.” It was pure disgust in your voice. The venom dripped in your statement and caused you to forget the pain, forget the drowsiness, and forget everything you ever knew.
Your mind was in a state of control, and the only thing you could think about was killing this man. It was animalistic the look on your face when you escaped his grasp, reaching for the knife attached to your left thigh. He was quick to dodge your slices, but you managed to knick him a few times.
“What are you doing?!” He did his best to not hurt you in your fight. Gun used as a blunt force device rather than to kill.
You were trained to do this, muscles moving with their own sense of mind.
Hoseok didn’t know how much more he could handle; you were getting pretty good hits on him, and his body was fighting for release.
You were still full of energy and noted his decreased fighting capabilities and decided it was time for the final strike. Your left hand was going for a punch, your right hand drove the knife to enter his middle abdomen. He sucked in a breath of pain, eyes widening and body going still. Your hand twisted and he reached forward to grab your shoulder, fingers digging in begging for release.
You looked into his eyes, the dark orbs in a frenzy staring right back at you. Pain.
Tears wilted up in your eyes as you held the dripping knife in his chest. Your body shook slightly, and lips quivered. Your fingers twitched as you watched his eyes widen even more. A pang of worry washes over your figure as he slips down, body sinking to the ground. His legs spread out and hand reaches to cover yours in his laying position. Your body moves with his never leaving the knife as tears drip to the floor. Droplets mix with blood as you see the man mouth something to you.
"It's ok."
You stayed frozen and all the noise around you became distant. His eyes shut and his hand drops from yours into the pile of blood. Pain.
You were fighting a war within yourself.
"Why does it hurt?" You whispered to yourself as more tears gush out and you're left sobbing like a child. "It hurts so much."
The pain you felt was like never before. Your heart ached and seized. You felt like you were the one stabbed with the knife, and it was entering your body repeatedly. What was even worse was you didn't know why. You didn't know why you hurt so much or why this death caused so much pain. You have killed before, countless times, and never felt this kind of remorse. What was so special about this one? Why was your body reacting in such a way?
"My heart." You cried out while letting go of the knife. You shuffled back away from the now dead body cradling yourself once you were far enough away. Your eyelids fluttered rapidly and panic set in.
"Hoseok-" A different man ran in and paused at the sight of you and the body. Blood. You. Hoseok.
"Y/N?"
His body froze when he saw your back, he knew it was you. His body also froze at the sight of blood.
In a split second you went into action mode. Reaching for another knife in your pocket you lifted it up and then lifted your other arm in a fight stance.
"What? What happened?" He was in shock. By the looks of it, you were the one who killed Hoseok. You were the only one in the room and now you stood ready to fight, but he could tell you didn’t want to. The tears on your face glistened in the lighting. "What are you doing?"
In his state of confusion, you raced forward letting out a battle cry while swinging with all you might. Jungkook's reflexes acted, and he dodged your attack, throwing a punch at your abdomen. The force threw you back and you grunted at the acute trauma. Sucking it up you went at it again, knife swinging and managing to get his arm.
"Snap out of it!" Jungkook knew this wasn't you, it couldn't be you. This was not the Y/N he knew. "C'mon I know you're in there!"
He did his best to act in defense and not hurt you any further. It was hard though, you were fighting with all you might, anger and the emotions were getting to you.
Jungkook didn't know how much longer he could go on, both because he didn't want to lay a finger on you, and he knew he couldn't beat your skills.
You finally managed to get his leg, he cried out at the stab wound and his knee hit the ground. You took this as your chance to kick his chest, the force throwing him down. You were quick to hold the blade over his neck, the sharpest point digging in.
Staring down at him, you paused. Though your hesitation, the pressure of the blade did not falter.
Your features softened and eyebrows furrowed. No matter how hard you tried to drive the blade in, you couldn't do it. Heaving a sigh, the emotions from before began to come back. Why wasn't he fighting anymore like the other guy?
Jungkook realized his fate and decided to take it as it came. He laid limp, body became one with the floor eyes trained on you. To die by your hands was a heavenly way to die in his eyes.
He knew this wasn't you, your hesitation and confusion were proof. He wasn't mad at you. He couldn't be. His eyes ran over your features, his last memory before his last breath and God, he felt like he saw an angle before him. You have always been beautiful to him. From the day you met to now.
"You're beautiful."
Those words had your grip loosen. The knife was no longer piercing, but evidence was there with the small line of blood running down his neck.
Lifting the knife, you stumbled back.
"Jungkook?" You slowly were coming back to yourself. More memories of you and him flooded your mind. "Oh god Jungkook, what did I do?"
You raced forward, ripping off your shirt and then ripping a piece off to tie around his thigh. He grunted at the pressure. "No, no, no. Jungkook I-I'm so sorry." You cried out.
"It's okay." He whispered.
"No, it's not!" You screamed at him. You were in a frenzy trying to put pressure on his wound. "I almost killed you! I- I was used again! I could have killed you and I killed-"
Hoseok. You lifted your hands from his thigh scooting back. You were disgusted with yourself. Utterly disgusted. You sobbed into your hands rubbing your face and then hitting your forehead.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Was all you repeated with bated breaths.
Jungkook wished he could do more, seeing you like this was worse than any stab could be. He was losing blood fast and he could feel his consciousness wavering.
"Y-Y/N." He got out and you now pulled your attention to Jungkook.
"Let me find the others. Do you know where they are?!"
"Take this." You raced forward to retrieve the earpiece from his hands. You pressed it against your ear connecting with whoever was on the other end.
"Jungkook-"
"Namjoon! We need help. Please, please come please." Each man overheard your voice over the line, a sense of hope washing over their figures.
“Y/N? Are you okay? What’s going on?”
“Please, please come to the right sector, room closest to the middle. We need help!” You pressed your free hand against Jungkook’s wound.
“Jungkook, Jungkook- He is, he is bleeding. And Hoseok- “you looked over and shivers went down your spine. “Just get here!”
You kept the earpiece in and continued to aid Jungkook who kept closing his eyes.
“Don’t you care close your eyes right now. Look at me, hey! Look at me!” You snapped to get his attention and his eyes fluttered at you. “Good!”
He kept his eyes open and began to hum to a melody. It was the only way right now that he could stay awake. He’s done it before, and it keeps him focused on the objective: not dying.
Your eyes watered again, and you nodded your head with a sad smile on your face. Bubble Gum by Clairo, you were familiar with the tune, Jungkook would play it all the time at the office at night.
You hummed with him letting the tears fall onto his shirt. Your head lifted up as you sucked air in. Jungkook’s hand lifted slowly, to reach your hand. The humming continued as shots were still being fired outside the room. You leaned over now, sobbing uncontrollably onto his stomach. His hand moved to your hair as he stroked the ends of your hair, hand barely moving up due to his incapacitated state.
“It’s sad because it just hurts.” You mumbled, like stated in the song because it just hurts. Everything in your body hurts, your mind hurts. You hurt.
Footsteps echoed in the other room, and you shot up with your gun ready. Jimin poked his head through first, gun up as well, but lowered seeing you. You smiled seeing a familiar face, but it soon fell.
A bullet pierced his shoulder, and he flew back lifting his gun to shoot, but not quick enough.
Your body jolted back, vision going blurry but focusing once more when you look down. Blood mixed with Jungkook’s and you felt queasy.
“Y/N!” Jungkook whispered hastily.
In any other situation, being shot in the back would have been worrisome. You would be fighting to keep the blood in, to put pressure. You reached beside Jungkook and lifted the gun.
"I just don't get why Bangtan is trying so hard to save you? Especially Jungkook, to think you were the one who brutally murdered his family." Soobin let out a sinister laugh. "His little brother. Do you remember his screams? That boy pleaded for his life, and you managed to not kill him. Not finish the job. You could never finish the job."
"Shut the fuck up." You shot the gun. Soobin fell to the floor, his head being hit and having an instant death.
The adrenaline was pumping through you, so you barely felt any pain from your open wound, and even then, you were focused on Jungkook.
"What-What did he say?" Jungkook's hearing was not the best at the moment. His senses were fading, and he could only make out a few words.
You on the other hand heard it all, and you forced yourself to forget what was heard in order to stay focused.
"Let's go to the van," Jimin came to lift Jungkook up, but handed you his jacket before leaving. The two of you supported his weight as you navigated out of the building. He notified Namjoon that they got you and are retreating. Guns in hands, you made sure the coast was clear before leaving. Being vigilant, you constantly scanned the area for any threats while Jimin led the way.
"Your shoulder." Jungkook almost whimpered out, his hand snaking around trying to put pressure on it while you walk.
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Let's get you back."
"No, you're blee- bleeding."
"I have many times before. I'm okay. Save your energy please." You reassured him once more. The sky was dark, night had fallen but the lights from the mansion kept the pathway clear. The car was not far, and it was easy to transfer Jungkook into the back seat.
Finally being able to sit, your body was reacting to the gunshot wound. Your body was still trying to heal from whatever the fuck they injected in you, and you could feel yourself going into overdrive to keep yourself upright.
"Wait! Hoseok. We need to get Hoseok!" You realized.
"Namjoon is getting him." Jimin put the car into drive and sped down the long pathway.
You were gone, you were gone once more. You were free, but you knew this wasn't the end. You had to do one final thing before leaving this world, you had to kill your uncle and finish what Bangtan had started: Ending the Lims.
SYNOPSIS: As a struggling college student that is top of the class and a shoe in for future jobs, helping a gang member on a trip home was not what you expected to be doing. But after helping said gang member, you are pulled into their world after finding out you work with Jungkook, youngest in the gang and possibly the most dangerous. But is this your first time in the mafia world? Is Jungkook the only one with secrets?
WARNINGS: violence, amnesia, usual mafia things. descriptions of fights
WC:3.2k
A/N: hello! Long awaited update! sorry this is not that good and i have not edited so don’t mind errors. :)
OBLIVION: THE STATE OF BEING UNAWARE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU
It wasn't like you expected it to happen. Like most things you aren't sure of its outcome. What would life be if you were to know every ending to every beginning, if you were to be able to predict the future and act accordingly?
Of course, we all wish for this ability but that unfortunately just isn't the case, but perhaps if you had been able to you would have seen yourself standing in the large workout room.
Loose sweatpants hung on your waist and a large t-shirt sat on your shoulders. Your hair was up in a ponytail with baby hairs poking through.
"Are you ready to start?" Jungkook stood in front of you, hands on his waist and hair down in front of his eyes.
"No." You deadpanned, fingers curling over the end of your shirt.
"I expected so." He sighed. "But we have to do this you know?"
And yes, you did have to. You must because you weren't able to see the future that would come from helping a stranger on the street and befriending your co-worker.
"First let's just do some stretches, get loose." Jungkook started to do some stretching and you stood for a moment before realizing that you should follow.
You bent to touch your toes and after brought your hands up to stretch your back. You bent down again and continued to get loose.
"You're quite flexible." Jungkook commented when you went down to go into the splits.
"We had to be." You whisper leaning further into your split. Jungkook looks away from you, hands fidgeting trying to think of what else to say.
"Ok I think stretches are all good. What do you want to start with? Some light boxing? Maybe some sparring?"
"Let's keep it light, I haven't done a lot of stuff in a while."
"Ok, cool. Let's just do some simple technique punches." Jungkook held his hands out and you followed.
"Are we going to keep dancing or are you going to hit me?" Jungkook poked the tongue against his cheek at your words and he lunged forward. You dodged it easily and threw a punch which he also managed to dodge. You spun around and sent an elbow to his back then you turn back around kicking his gut. He grabbed your leg trying to make you fall, he hit your leg and you let out a grunt of pain.
"Sorry!" In his moment of weakness, you were able to pull yourself closer to him and spiral around him, his grip on your left leg loosening so you were able to swing around and throw him down.
"I'm sorry!" You rushed over to him.
Once you reached him, he tugged you down and held you in a straddle, arms pinning yours down.
"You asshole!" You thrashed around trying to get loose, but he gripped tigher giving a slight smirk.
Looking down he loosened his grip but kept his eyes on you, his demeanor softening, "You look really pretty right now."
You froze staring into his eyes and then peeking down at his lips. He did the same, but you quickly pushed him off letting out light coughs.
"I have to use the bathroom."
"Can you do that move?" Hoseok pointed at the screen, eyes shifting from you to the movie waiting for a response.
"Yeah, I think so." You threw a piece of popcorn into your mouth watching Black Widow on the TV screen in the common room.
"What about that one? Ouch- the one where she swings her body around and- get him, get him! Oh, that one's cool. Can you teach me that?" Hoseok kept making comments about the movie that caused you and Jungkook to chuckle.
Hoseok was sitting on the floor with Yoongi next to him and you were on the sofa leaning against Jungkook.
It was movie night and Black Widow seemed to be the consensus for everyone. You were slightly apprehensive about watching it, you knew the basis of it and it felt too close to home. Jungkook made sure to confirm it was ok with you before, to be exact he asked around 14 times before the movie actually started.
"You doing okay?” His eyes fluttered down to your lax figure.
"Yeah." You ran your hand over him for a second. "I'm good."
His eyes turned to crescents, and he was about to say something else when the door busted open. Taehyung staggered in, hand wrapped around his arm and blood smearing down his face.
"What the fuck-"Jungkook and Hoseok were quick to get up racing over to Taehyung who held the door for the next person.
In walked Yoongi holding a man with his left arm. He too had blood that ran down his face.
The man in his hold wiggled around, kicked, fought, screamed. He was struggling to get out of the cuffs and kept asking for the bag to be taken off his head.
"Who is that?" You asked absentmindedly and received no response.
"Who the fuck is this?" Jungkook asked.
"This punk is a part of the Lims. Tried to kill us, sick bastard." Yoongi threw him towards the wall in an attempt to calm him down.
"Someone from the Lims was ballsey enough to just try and kill you out of nowhere?" You followed them watching how the person moved. It wasn't like how someone from the Lims would move. It was sloppy.
"I mean we haven't checked his tattoo-"
You stepped forward ripping the cloth material from the male's head. He shook his hair around and paused when he saw you.
"Y/N."
"You know this kid?" Yoongi held his grip.
"Mark? What are you doing here?"
"I came to get you. I thought that they kidnapped you."
"Why would you come get me?"
"Because the Lims are after you again." He looked down mentioning the Lims.
"Can you guys untie him? I want to speak with him for a moment." You tugged your sleeves down tugging your bottom lip into your mouth.
"Yeah, yeah." Taehyung reached for his switchblade and sliced the zip ties and many ropes letting Mark's hands come free.
You tilted your head to the garden exit and began walking. Mark followed behind and the others watched closely.
"How have you been?" He rubbed his wrists trying to stifle a grimace at his open cuts.
"You didn't come here to ask me I've been. Why the fuck are you here?"
"I told you; I came because Bangtan-"
"Mark.” You paused shoving your hair behind your ear. “Why are you back in the mafia world? You got out. Stay out."
"I can't just let the Lims get you." He held sincerity in his eyes as they glanced at the moon.
"You didn't feel that was the first time they got me." You whispered. "Just go."
You turned away and walked inside not saying a word to any of the men that stood around in fear of what you would do when angry.
Leaving the manor was a lot harder than you expected. With all the cameras, alarms, and surveillance you were almost positive that you would not make it out, but here you are.
You just wanted to go on a walk, you wanted to get out of the house for just a moment to be alone. But anytime you try to leave the house you almost set of fifty alarms.
It took hacking into the system (sorry Yoongi) to disarm the exit to where the manor exited to a small body of water. Around it was shrubs and small wildlife that scurried around.
You sat on a rock throwing stones in the pond waiting for one to skid.
"You know we get alerts when the system gets disarmed right?"
"Yeah, but I turned those off too." You knew it was Jungkook, he approached slowly with muddy boots and a blanket in hand.
"I know." He chuckled nearing the rock plopping himself down.
"Then how did you know I was gone?" You faced him with a few rocks in hand.
"I had a feeling you would try something. Call it intuition." He spun the blanket around your body wrapping it around your shoulders. "You know it's cold out, right?"
"I know." You hummed. "Why are you in the mafia?"
Jungkook was a bit taken aback by your question. It was a strange one and one that he was not expecting to have to answer.
"What?"
"Why the mafia? You don't seem to be forced to be here, you aren't ruthless, so why the mafia?"
"Well. Namjoon saved me, like actually saved me." He sighed, recounting his past was something he didn't do often.
A therapist would tell you to do shadow work, speak to your younger self and relive the moments that hurt you the most. Jungkook did none of that. Similar to you, he erased his past before he met Namjoon.
"My parents were killed by the Lims."
"How old were you?"
"I was eleven." He huffed. "I was supposed to die too, but Namjoon saved me. He raised me. And now I'm here."
"By vengeance or appreciation?"
"Both. Vengeance for my family to kill the sick fuck that killed them. Appreciation for Namjoon saving me."
"Hmm." You hummed tugging your lip into your mouth.
"How fucked the world is huh?"
"Yep." His foot tapped against the ground, he hoped it would show anxiety or restlessness, but you caught on to the fact that it was because he was freezing.
"C'mere." You held your arms open wide signaling for a hug. He cocked an eyebrow at you but slowly moved closer to your warm body. "This blanket is so soft.
"Mhm." He nuzzled his head into your shoulder breathing in.
"You were so strong, Jungkook. I hope you know that. Your parents know that."
He only nuzzled his head further trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out. He hasn't been held like this, listened to like this, since he last saw his mother.
"You are too." He lifted his head up to look you in the eyes. "My god you are one of the strongest people I know. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this... this shit."
"Shh." Tears poured down his face, you don't even think he noticed the hot stream spilling out.
"I won't let them get you. Not again."
You woke up the next morning with a slight cough and a cold feeling still in your body. Last night you had sat with Jungkook in silence for God knows how long.
"What's this?" When you left your room to get a nice warm cup of tea you saw various men walking around with tinsel, lights, and boxes of hot chocolate.
"Jungkook didn't tell you?" Hoseok lowered the greenery so you can see the top of his head. "Our annual Christmas party is coming up!"
"You guys throw a Christmas party?" You cross your arms in fascination seeing this mafia man hold Christmas decoration.
"Yep. Our leaders of the Child gang come for this more personal one and then we hold one for all the child organizations and our main organizations."
"Sounds fun." You reach out to grab one of the vines. "How can I assist in decorating?"
"Want to help me hang this above the door?"
"Of course!"
Feeling the tinsel was a foreign thing, putting it up was another unfamiliar thing. It had been years since you decorated, let alone celebrated for Christmas. When you went with your uncle there were no celebrations, at least none they would let you go to.
After that Christmas became sort of bitter for you, the decorations and 'Happy Holiday's' bitter in your mouth. It burnt your tongue wishing people a Merry Christmas like the hot chocolate families drank around the fire. Christmas was a holiday you forgot but wished you didn't.
"I haven't decorated for Christmas in so long. Forgot how good it felt to do this." You mentioned as you finished hanging up the last of the lights around the room.
"It's great isn't it!" Hoseok had glitter all over him and you couldn't help but laugh at the shiny specks all over his all-black outfit.
"When is the party?"
"Tonight." Jungkook had entered the room with a bunch of presents in his hand. "I got you a dress to wear, it's on your bed."
"If it is anything like that other dress, I will kill you."
"Trust me, it's better." He smirked and you ran to your room.
And Jungkook wasn't wrong when he said this dress was better. It did cover your ass and was not too low cut, however, the problem was with how it looked.
It was Mrs. Claus outfit, a red dress with a white rim and black buttons.
"You can't just get a normal dress for me?"
"Nope." Jungkook held a smug look on his face while brushing down his coat. He wore a black jacket with an undershirt that was red like the color of your dress.
"Classy." You shoved him while the two of you entered the main room where the other boys were in the circle talking.
Namjoon had called for an emergency meeting to discuss the upcoming party.
"Thank you all for coming. I was not going to do this tonight but with it just being the executives of each gang I thought it would be good to discuss now. There seems to be a spy in one of our child organizations. They are wanting to start a coup."
"Do you have any ideas who is the spy or who is leading this?" A classic rebellion always has a soundproof leader. Often hard to find and someone that would never be expected.
"Soobin or Hueining Kai, the oldest or youngest in the top 5." Jimin answered while turning the steering wheel. "And of course, some of the lower recruits."
"Yes, we suspect one of those two. Please just keep a close eye on any of the younger leaders at this time. Try to find anything suspicious. Taehyung will be leading the investigation tonight so if you see anything strange let him know."
Hearing the noise outside Namjoon clapped once, "Looks like they arrived early so let's get this party started!"
You all filed out of the room, and you strayed behind thinking about the situation he just described.
"You coming?" Jungkook stood by the door as it shut.
"I should talk to each of them. I'm new, maybe I can spot who is acting weird. I'm also trained in reading people too." You stood up brushing down your dress. "Additionally, pretty girls make any man fold."
"Very true but you don't need to get involved. Taehyung's got this." He pushed the door open holding it for you as you ducked below his arm.
"It's ok-"
"Nice to see you, Namjoon." A boy with fluffy brown hair held his hand out and four other men, though you would barely consider them men seeing how young they were, populated behind him. "Welcome back."
"You too, Soobin." Namjoon shook his hand and then greeted the others. They all made it down the line until the boy from earlier named Soobin reached you.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Soobin." Soobin, the boy who Namjoon said to be weary of.
"I'm Y/N." You shook his hand trying to read him in any way possible, He was nice, his aura was naturally charismatic and soft in nature. He seemed like a genuine person that was not meant for this type of life, but those people tend to be the most dangerous. HIs grip on your hand was not too powerful, at least not at first. It was gentle how he caressed your hand, eyes peering into yours intensely. A smile grew on his face and when you tried to pull away, he only held on tighter, making his grip stronger.
"You can let go now." Your eye squinted a little when his smile dropped. He waited a second before lowering his grip.
"Right. My apologies." He bowed and then stepped away.
"I don't like him." You whispered to Jungkook as the two of you reached the table to sit down.
"You and me both." He chuckled pulling out your chair. "Just be civil tonight, ok? I'll be back."
He stepped away leaving you alone at the table swirling your cup of champagne. There was a decent number of people there, none that you wanted to talk to at that moment. So, you sat alone waiting for Jungkook, or any of the Bangtan boys, to make an appearance.
Though the wait was short lived when a loud explosion came from the corner.
Your ears rang as you looked around in the haze of smoke reaching for something, anything in your vicinity but there was nothing but rubble.
"Jungkook!" You screamed out, hand grabbing for the gun in your waistband raising it up. The smoke was starting to clear, and you could see the people on the ground having a full-on blood bath. Men and boys shot, slashed, punched, kicked, fought each other mercilessly.
You kept searching for any of the Bangtan boys, but they must have been mixed in the large crowd.
"This is all your fault you know." A voice appeared beside you, and you jumped back with your gun up.
"What are you talking about?" You looked deep into Soobin's dark eyes.
"They are all going to die because you," He stepped closer and you retreated back almost tripping over a body, "couldn't fucking face your past. You couldn't come back and fight the Lims. And now everyone you know, and love will die."
"No." You shook your head. "No. Shut the fuck up."
"Sweet dreams little swan." A blunt hit to your head and you were out like a light.
"I think she's waking up." Your eyes fluttered lightly trying to adjust to bright lights around you.
"Y/N? Are you awake?" You see a blurred figure leaning over you snapping his fingers. Once your eyesight has focused you were quick to jump up and throw the man to the ground. In the process you found his gun lifting it up to face him and the other three people in the room.
"Who the fuck are you?"
"The ones who saved you." The man below you held his hands up, eyes never leaving the gun.
"From what?"
"Bangtan. They tried to kill you."
"Bangtan?" The name sounded familiar off your tongue. Your head started to have intense pain; you squinted your eyes trying to subside the pain.
"You hit your head pretty badly in the explosion. We are here to help you. You are one of us after all."
"One of what?" You looked around at the four men looking down at you.
"Apart of the Lims. I'm Soobin. It seems you lost your memory." He lifted his hand to reach yours that held the gun. Soobin... that did sound familiar.
"What?"
"I know it's a lot of information but please rest." He took the gun from your hands and brought you to stand. "We can discuss everything over dinner."
Soobin turned away with a grin on his face. Time for phase one to commence.
this is a little notice to those who are reading and enjoying ALMOST YOURS. Sadly I have decided to put it on hold and possibly discontinue it for now. I am not happy with how it is and probably rewrite it.
Almost yours is wonderful, Can’t wait to see how it goes 💞
thank you so much for reading and enjoying it! i'm working on another chapter so hopefully i get more out soon! finals week is kicking my ass so we will see <3
i know i mentioned earlier i would post an update for ALMOST YOURS and obviously that didn't happen...
i have part of it written but i am planning to write more but would you rather have the roughly 2k word version that i wrote now to wait for me to the write 4-5k word version?
warnings: fight scenes, slight suicidal ideations (of would rather die than go through something), blood, choking (not the sexy kind), mentions of child exploitation such as forced killing and brainwashing, mafia stuff
A/N: unedited as always and loosely inspired by Black Widow since I just saw it and loved it, enjoy!
LITOST: A STATE OF AGONY AND TORMENT CAUSED BY SUDDEN SIGHT OF ONE’S OWN MISERY
Do you exist because other people see you, other people know of your presence, or is simply your own acknowledgement of yourself enough to prove you're alive? Is living in the comfort of only yourself enough to provide proof that you are you in this world? Most would say yes, being in your own company is enough, but like Schrödinger's cat, who is to say if you are living or dead if not seen? Of course, you'll know you're alive in that box, and that is enough. But in essence you don't exist, but you do.
You yourself have battled with the idea of this for years. You weren't a nomad living up in the mountains with no contact to humans. You were in the real world by real people, but you also weren't per say living. More so just existing. People know of your existence because they see you, but that is all. If you disappeared one day, they wouldn't bat an eye at your absence, so did you ever exist in their world at all? The thought was depressing but that's what you were going for, being ghost. You didn't want to be known. And that's why you had no friends.
You went to work, came home, ate, slept, and repeated. You didn't go out of your way to meet people, you didn't do anything that would cast attention to yourself. You were a cat in a box leaving people to their own interpretations of you, this is until Jungkook came into your life.
You wanted nothing to do with him at first. He was trouble, but he constantly found his way into your life. At work, walking home, at the store, you name it, and he was there. In the beginning you were annoyed. You ignored him passing in the streets, didn't answer your door, and made sure to always have headphones on you. But as time went on you let him in more and more each day.
He would help you with groceries and would chat with you on your walk home after work. He was a nice guy, surprisingly to you all Bangtan were when you met them. They didn't come off as complete cold-blooded murderers that were ruthless beyond belief. But you also knew what the news said about them. And despite this war inside your mind and the teeter totter of whether Bangtan are humans, you still let Jungkook into your life.
The more you were together, the more you showed him medical practices. At first you just wanted to teach him things and get on with it, have him learn so he would stop coming to you. With time teaching him did work, the calls to save someone's life were less frequent, but today you managed to find yourself at the Bangtan mansion once more.
"So that's it?" Jungkook held the test dummy surveying what he just did.
"Yep. Not the best explanation and certain not the most correct one, but it will work." You had just finished refreshing him on how to stitch up a bullet wound. "Do you have any other questions?"
"Nope." He began to clean up the room and rid of any spare packages. "You know we are having a little party tonight, just Bangtan and our two child organizations. You should come."
"Come to a party? I'll pass." You picked up the last package throwing it in the trash.
"C'mon! It'll be fun! Not that many people will be there, and you can spend your whole night with me." He wiggled his eyebrows at you, and you turned away trying to hide your smile.
"I guess I can come for a little." You raised your finger towards him. "Only a little. After that you drive me home when I say to."
"All right." He agreed. "But tonight's event is formal. I think we should go shopping."
---
Letting Jungkook pick out a dress for you was probably the worst decision you have made in a while. The lack of sleep was getting to you, and when he asked what you wanted on the phone you told him get whatever he wants. When you said that you expected him to bring a cute little black dress that wasn't too high but also didn't sit at your ankles. Just a basic black dress. But no, Jungkook had to bring a dress that was a bit short for your liking and something you would never pick.
"Jungkook I am going to kill you." Your phone was on speaker as you pressed the straightener against your hair.
"Because I found the dress before you? You can take credit if you-"
"No, it's because this dress is like a second skin. Where the fuck did you find something like this?"
"Saw it the other day and thought it would look absolutely dashing on you." You could hear the smirk through the phone, and you wanted to do nothing else but slap it off his face.
"Are you almost here? And if you brought that godforsaken bike of yours, I will actually kill you."
"Don't talk bad about Shelia! And no, I brought the rover. I'll be there in five. Just come out when you're ready." He hung up after that and you let out a sigh of relief. Being on the back of a bike in a skintight dress was not something on tonight's planner for you.
Looking at yourself one last time in the mirror, you took a deep breath and decided to put your hair down last minute. Having it up wasn't something you liked to do, so you quickly pulled the tie out to be more comfortable. At least your long hair could try to cover your breasts that peeked out.
When you peeked out the window you saw a black car in the front of your apartment building on the wet concrete. The rain thankfully stopped from earlier, but the wetness and humidity were proof of its appearance.
You placed your heels on an took a deep breath. You were actually going to a mafia party. You were going to a nice gathering, and you were going to be in the mafia life.
It was scary enough itself being in that house during the day but seeing it at night made you want to vomit, but the knowledge that Jungkook would be there is what made you step out your door and to the car.
"Wow you look-"
"I will kill you." You stepped into the vehicle and made sure to shimmy the dress down so your bare ass wasn't just sitting on the seat.
"Lovely as ever." He chuckled and started to drive.
The ride didn't take long, surprisingly the Bangtan manor wasn't far from your house (you weren't sure at first how far it was due to Jungkook driving like a maniac the other times you've been).
"Ok party's in there." Jungkook was on the other end of your door with is arm out for you to grab. Carefully you grabbed it and your heel clicked on the concrete. "Let's go."
Stepping in was the hardest part. Seeing the mass number of cars outside and people slowly entering was anxiety inducing. You tried to conceal it, but Jungkook couldn't help giving you a few wary glances.
"You'll be by me the whole night. don't worry. Only those who we are close with are coming." He reassured you and squeezed your arm slightly. You gave a tight-lipped smile thankful for his acts. It did calm you down slightly knowing that he would be with you the whole time and you wouldn't be alone.
"Let's party."
---
The night started off fine. You clung to Jungkook's arm like a koala and did not let him leave once. You were glued to him and those at the party noticed the new arm candy that couldn't let go.
"He won't disappear Y/N." Taehyung joked once, and you sent him a glare in response.
The two of you mostly stayed seated. He didn't usually talk to others at these events, and you definitely would not be going around chatting. You both were enjoying the time with each other, and the alcohol had let you let loose. Not only that but it made you realize how hot Jungkook was.
In his black suit he sure did look fucking hot. The material clung to his arms and the toned muscle pulled at the threads. The top button on his shirt was undone slightly exposing his tone chest. His hair was swooped back and held with gel showing off his glorious forehead. You couldn't help but feel hot beside him and squirm a bit when he looked you in the eyes.
"See?" Jungkook had his arm around your chair and his other hand on his glass. "This isn't so bad."
"I guess. This alcohol is great too." You took another sip of your champagne looking around the room. There were people scattered about having their own discussions. Bangtan were scattered around the room and were seen conversing with various others throughout the night.
"I'm gonna use the bathroom." You decide it was time to take a slight break from the gathering and relieve yourself.
"Ok. I'll be here." He gave you silly smile which made your heart do a little dance.
Honestly tonight was weird. You dreaded it for days when he told you about it, but actually being here with him it wasn't awful. Yes, you were on the edge of an anxiety attack every now and then, but when you heard his voice, it snapped you out of it.
The bathroom wasn't too far from where you sat with Jungkook, but it did take a minute to find it. He told you how to get there when he left, but this house is too big that you had to think extra hard on where to go.
Knocking on the door you found that no one was in there and you entered. Looking at yourself in the mirror you can see you face slightly flushed from the alcohol you had earlier, but that happens when even the smallest bit enters your system.
You went to go wash your hands but then the lights went out.
When the lights when out you knew something was wrong. The room was dimmed from the candle in the corner, but it did not light it enough that you could walk clearly. Thankfully, you brought your phone and raised the flashlight.
You could hear boots hitting the hardwood floor outside and you were quick to turn off your light. You did your best to near the door and when you got there you were able to peep through the small window. You were right, people in black outfits stormed in with flashlights that looked to be going towards the main hall.
It was an attack, there was no other explanation for what was going on. You were quick to think and jump into action. There were two people outside that just walked by, with the right timing and precise planning you could take them down. Question was how did you plan to do that in the dark?
And then the lights went on as if God heard your thoughts.
You opened the door and stood behind the two people.
In one swift movement you were able to hit one of the people in the back of the head sending them down. The other one turned towards you, but your leg wrapped around their body, and you flung them on top of the other person. While doing so you grabbed their gun and shot them in the leg. Then you shot the other one in the arm. Finally, you sent a jab to their head with the butt end of the gun.
You were surprised at how easy it was, but you could tell in their movements that they weren't terribly trained. They were sloppy and weren't ready for an attack.
You took the gun in hand and held it up ready to attack anyone who came at you. There was commotion in the main room, but it quieted down soon after. And that's when you heard it, the voice.
The voice that sent shivers down your spine and made needles prick at your skin. You were going to vomit, the taste of bile rising and nausea overcoming you. You dropped the gun out of surprise, and it clacked around on the ground. You were almost about to cry but the shock of it all stopped you from doing so.
In one second, you were sent to the floor knocking out cold, you weren't sure if it was from your utter shock or if someone had landed a hit on you. Either way you didn't care, you just wanted to get out of there and this was the way you went.
---
Your head rested against something soft as your groggy eyes tried to pry themselves open.
"You're awake?" Jungkook was quick to rush to your side as you pushed yourself up to a seated position. You closed one eye as a sharp pain surfaced at your temple. "Thank God."
His strong arms pulled you into a tight embrace, the hug easing the pain.
"What happened?"
"There was an attack. You were knocked out cold on the ground and we found you after we had them flee. Are you okay? There were others around you that were dead." Jungkook looked over your body (despite doing it almost ten times after they first found you, and another 5 once you were in the main room) and you placed your hand on his face.
"I'm ok. I think someone knocked me out. My head is hurting."
"I don't see any acute trauma to your head, but it is possible." Jungkook frowned. "We are almost done here; we are just rounding up men. I don't want to leave you, but I don't want to keep you here. How about I sent you to the infirmary with Sunghoon?"
He whistled and called out for Sunghoon. A young boy who couldn't be older than 18 rushed over ready to assist. "Can you take Y/N to the infirmary? Give her Advil in the second self to the right."
The boy nodded and then bowed before placing his arm out. You hesitantly grabbed onto it but knew that you just wanted to get out of this room.
The walk was quick, and you let the boy go as soon as you got there. You were a nurse in training, you could handle yourself. He had more important matters to go to anyways, and you couldn't stand seeing such a young kid in a place like this.
You took a few Advil hoping it would kick in fast. You also dug around for some anti-anxiety meds. There had to be some here, right? They were a fucking mafia they had to have drugs like that, but you failed to find any. No Xanax, no lorazepam, no other benzenoids in that dainty room.
The panic of earlier and not finding anything was kicking in. You could feel your body going into a state of great panic, your hands were shaky, and your vision blurred slightly.
You killed. well almost. You killed not one person in years but almost had to kill two people tonight. You haven't killed in years. Oh god you almost took another life.
"What have I done." You slowly feel to the ground, hands tugging at your hair with your knees in your chest.
It was around this time when Jungkook came in. He saw your panicked state on the floor and was quick to jump into action. He came to your side and began to whisper softly into your ear trying to calm you down. He didn't touch you until you lunged yourself at him, arms wrapping tightly around his body while tears filled his shirt. He placed soft kisses on your head and just held you.
---
Ever since the party you have been having the same nightmare. It was a replay of the events from that night but the people who attacked had caught you and you had kill more people. It was putting a strain on your mental and physical health.
Last night were one of the worst ones yet and the lack of sleep had caused you to call off work. In doing so, you missed your shift where you knew Jungkook would be wondering where you were.
Jungkook: Hey, you ok?
Jungkook: you're not at work
Jungkook: they said you called off sick, I'll be over soon
He only sent three messages at 10 am when you had finally fallen back asleep. You only saw them when you woke up at 2 pm, just an hour before his shift ends.
You: it's ok. I just didn't sleep well. you don't have to come.
You sent the message slamming your phone against the bed letting out a sigh. Today you wanted to just relax, let your anxiety settle before going on with life again.
You were tossing and turning for the hour before his shift ended and even then, you still struggled with. And then there was the knock on your door. Groggily you trudged to the front door, hands trying to wipe the tired from your eyes.
"Jungkook I told you it-" You faltered in your step slowly stumbling back while holding the door. In front of you was not Jungkook but two men with dark clothes and masks on. "I think you have the wrong house."
You attempted to slam your door shut but a shoe jumped out before you do so. The force of the two men sent the door flying open, the push causing you to fly back and do a back roll on the ground to steady yourself. One knee was place on the ground as your head whipped up to assess the situation. On the right one man stood in a fighting stance while the other was to the left cracking his knuckles.
"I thought I said wrong house." You said again, this time with clear anger laced in your words. One of the men let out a laugh and then found his way to you. He leaned forward extending his arm out to where you jumped back reaching for the lamp beside you. You pulled it from the plug and with all your force you smashed it against his neck. The other man had now leaped for you, and you ducked throwing a blow to his abdomen. Next you sent your leg up which collided with his forearm and then you brought the other one to lace around his neck throwing him down against your glass coffee table. He let out a grunt, head tilting back in pain and shock from the fall.
The other man with blond hair had now pulled out a pocketknife.
"Oh great." You mumbled looking around for an item to grab yourself. With the little time you had as he lunged at you, you managed to grab your spare letter opener that was on the side table.
The blond man slashed his knife at you as you were forced to back up into the kitchen. In a split second he was able to nick your arm and blood began to run down it. Through his mask you could tell he was smiling.
"Ouch." You wiped the spare blood away steadying yourself in a fighting position once more. He dove at you, and you dodged it spinning to be on the other side of his back. You hit him on the neck with your elbow and then sent him to the cabinets with a powerful kick.
"You bitch." He groaned recovering quickly from that hit, spitting blood out in the process.
As you mounted for another attack, you didn't account for the other man to come behind you and hold you down. Your arms were locked together as he pressed you into the countertop to limit your moving space. With the letter opener in hand, you tried your best to swing it around in hopes of hitting him but no avail. He kicked it out of your hand and slammed your head against the table.
"It's nice to see that you can still fight." He chuckled throwing your head down once more. You winced at the blunt force while blood started to run down your forehead. "Such a shame that you'll probably be dead within the next day."
And this was it. You were going to be captured by these men who had some issue with you, who obviously wanted to kidnap you. This would be your life and the only person who would know that you were dead would be Jungkook since you had let him into your tiny box. To the world you would be nothing once more.
"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Jungkook stood in the open doorway with takeout in his hand and a cup of coffee in the other. He had changed out of his scrubs and was seen in similar attire to the men in your house. His hair was disheveled, probably from riding his bike here, and eyes dark.
With their distraction you took this as your moment to get them off you. In a swift movement you smashed the head of the guy holding you down on the table into the marble. The blond man was caught off guard by your leg coming to into contact with his chest throwing him into the refrigerator. At this point the other man had now stood and was about to reach for your hair but Jungkook was quick to stop him and send a forceful punch to his nose. While Jungkook fought that man you continued to fight with the blond man.
"So, we were right." He smirked, bloody teeth on display with extra blood dripping down the side of his face. "You are conspiring with Bangtan. Interesting."
"What?" Jungkook questioned from the other side of the room where he had his forearm up to block a punch. He had been fighting with this man and was watching you from the corner of his eye.
"Don't act stupid we have been watching you." You took this moment to leap forward ready to attack him. He slid to the right avoiding your punch which was received by the refrigerator door. You moaned in pain but were quick to get back into action.
With the commotion going on you were surprised that your neighbors weren't calling the cops or coming to see what was going on. Whenever you played music too loud, they made sure to come and yell at you, but somehow drew the line at 2 men attacking you in your own living room.
You were doing quite well holding him off, that is until he grabbed your kitchen knife and stabbed you in the abdomen. It was hard to go on fighting, but you did your best, but in the end, he managed to get his forearm around your throat. He pulled at your head trying to cut off your air as you thrashed around underneath him to let go. His strength was too much but you tried anyways.
"Y/N!" Jungkook was just about finished with the man on the other side of the room, he held him in a similar position to you. In seconds, the man fell unconscious at Jungkook's feet, and he jumped over the countertop tackling the man to the ground. You were released but the lack of air and stab wound started to make you queasy. You did your best to stay conscious, but the lack of blood was starting to worsen.
"Y/N stay with me, ok?" Jungkook loomed over you, hands pressing into your wound to lessen the blood flow. Your head weakly nodded but right after that you dozed off.
---
The first thing you felt was pain. There was a stabbing pain in the left side of your stomach and throb in your head. Your arm was slightly numb too and your whole body ached.
The next thing you felt was panic. When your eyes opened, you noticed that you were not familiar with this place. You were in a random bed with random walls and random dressers. The room was clean, almost too clean from the looks of it. Everything was polished and a minimalistic white. Looking down though all you saw was red. The sheets you were on were stained red. The bandage around your side was red. It was all red. And that sent you into a second wave of panic. The third wave of panic was when you tried to move your hands.
When you tried to sit up, there was a tug at your wrists sending you to fly back down against the sunken pillows. The blood was still fresh and the feeling of it against your skin made you grimace. Looking down you notice there were handcuffs that restricted you to the bed. They were too tight around your wrist, and you could feel pain from when you tugged at it before.
"You're awake." A cold voice echoed from the open door to the left. Your head turned to be faced with Jungkook who had his hands placed in his pockets and a sulked face. He looked beyond tired; you could tell even in the dim lighting. He must have patched you up after the attack.
You only nodded unsure of what to take from this situation. Did they find you out?
"I'll go get the others." Was all he said before he left leaving you alone in the sad room.
The dynamics between you two felt like it had shifted. You wanted to excuse it for him being tired, but your gut was telling you otherwise. It was strange and the while the previous anxiety had faded, a new one arose.
It took a few minutes for seven men to file in the room one by one. Their eyes were heavy and had a similar distaste as Jungkook's from earlier. The silence was deafening, and the tension grew by the second.
"You are probably confused right now," Namjoon finally spoke as he rested against the chair placed in the middle, "You were attacked at home, as you probably know. Jungkook took out the men, well man, but Jungkook brought up and interesting fact after he stitched you up. You were one the other one who took out one of the men."
You froze at his words. During the attack you didn't account for the fact that after there would be a possibility of being questioned about your ability to fight, more specifically your ability to fight trained fighter in the mafia.
"Yeah," You began trying to think of what to say, "I took self-defense classes two years ago."
"Self-defense doesn't teach enough to dismantle mafia members, specifically trained force members." Jimin, who had recovered smoothy, spoke up, "They were basically the best of the best in the Kang mafia. A normal person like you wouldn't be able to take them down.
"Which leads us to this question: who are you?" You gulped at Namjoon's words despite your efforts to hide the surprise and unease at his question.
"What do you mean? I'm Y/N Kim. I'm a uni student that works at the hos-"
"No, we mean who you really are." Jungkook, who was sulking in the corning this whole time with his arms crossed, came forward into the light. "Who are you miss Y/N. What have you been hiding from us?"
"You asking this could mean you already know or you're going to torture it out of me even if I seem convincing." You knew the mafia tactics. They would start by asking a question, they may know it and if they do, they are testing if you'll lie, or they are asking and then will force the truth out of you.
"You can fight and are smart." Namjoon continued. "Your records from age eighteen and younger are erased, you came out of nowhere, the Kangs think you are associated with us, the list goes on and on. So, it's your choice, tell us who you are, or we will get it out of you."
"I don't know what you are talking about." You continue to lie, you couldn't expose yourself, you didn't want to take that chance. "I told you who I am why won't you-"
"Stop lying." Jungkook spoke, his voice harsh.
"I-I," You didn't know what to say or what to do.
"Hello Ms. L/N." Namjoon stood from his chair shoving it to the side with a bit of annoyance. "Welcome to the Bangtan manor. I hope it is as good as the last one you stayed at, the Lim's."
Silence. You did nothing at first when Namjoon spoke of your last name. You haven't heard it in years and almost forgot what it sounded like.
L/N.
It made your skin crawl at the mention of it, when it fell from the tip of his tongue your body shuttered with unknown fear. The fear rose in the back of your throat, a gag noise coming out, as the seven men stood around you. Vomit. You threw up all over yourself, nasty vomit fell from your leg to the side of the bed falling to the floor. You didn't know it, but you were crying. Fat tears spilled from your swollen eyes and snot gathered at your chin. You were a crying mess. The memories were coming back.
"This wasn't supposed to happen! I was never supposed to be back in this life!" You cried out. "Please don't make me relive this nightmare again."
With pleading, blurry eyes you looked at the seven men in the room hoping for one last act of kindness. They were confused to say the least.
Their first reaction to hearing of your real past was that you were a spy. You somehow infiltrated their sector and were there to keep tabs, and even helped assist with the recent attack. Though it was plausible, the entirety of it was flawed. First, you were dead. At least records show that you should be dead. Died in a horrible car crash that ended up in a lake. You were never searched for as enforcement was never contacted. Second, the Kangs were looking for you. They must have found out you never truly died and wanted to find you somehow. Third, it just didn't seem right. You were not the type of person they were, you couldn't be, but somehow you were.
"We don't plan to kill you." That comment should have relieved you. You aren't going to die! How lucky you are to be spared. Of course, you weren't being spared. Probably just sent back to the Lim's or stuck with Bangtan to go through the same trauma.
"Kill me." You deadpanned, tears stopping for a moment as the horror set it. "Kill me right now. Right fucking now! Kill me!"
"Y/N, what?" Jungkook was hurt finding out about you, but seeing you here now he hurt in a different way.
"Don't send me back. Kill me. You can't send me back."
"My uncle, Leeho was in the mafia, part of the Lim's. My father never knew Leeho was in it, Leeho was good with secrets. I always knew something was off though. Horror shows excited him and not in the horror fanatic type way. In a really fucked up type way. I was never close to him due to that." You paused preparing yourself for the next statement.
"When I was five my family was brutally murdered. I was out at a friend's when it happened. My uncle was the first to take me in and disappeared with me. He brought me into the mafia world. Thought that I could be the one to seek revenge on my family. I was trained in combat and weapons. By the age of twelve I was a master killer that could take down men twice my size. I had aim that would be Olympics worthy and were like those of CIA agents. To get there I was tortured, abused, manipulated, forced to endure endless pain daily."
The room was silent, and you were surprised at how calm you were telling this to them.
"When I turned thirteen, I was completely manipulated and under a mind control. I did what I was told with no questions. I was psychologically fucked. When I turned eighteen, I had a mission with my uncle and when I almost had to kill a little boy, I realized how fucking awful what I was doing was. I thought it was normal, or I toned out my distaste for it. Either way for a solid part of my life, I killed with little remorse. That day, I gained it back and decided to do something. After we left, I had the plan to drive us off the cliff. My uncle passed but the bastard had it coming. I made it out and ran away. I found my way here thinking I would never see anyone from the mafia world again but then I found Taehyung..."
Now tears slightly brimmed from your eyes.
"Please don't send me there. Kill me. They will torture me endlessly."
Jungkook was silent and felt like throwing up. You didn't go into detail of what happened, but he can only imagine what they have done to you. They were ruthless, bloodthirsty, and absolute psychopaths.
"We won't" He spoke up, hand reaching for yours. "I won't let you go back."
SYNOPSIS: After forming a bond with an unidentified stranger at your family’s ball, your parents send you off to marry Min Yoongi in attempt to mend their relationship with the Min family. Having to forget about the stranger and accept your new life, you end up being closer than you think with the mysterious man that you couldn’t seem to shake off without even knowing it was him.
GENRE: princess/ prince au, forced marriage au, forbidden love au, angst, fluff
WORD COUNT: 8.5k (she's big)
WARNINGS: swearing, not much in this one
A/N: hello! This is my second work that I am publishing so I hope you all enjoy. I like this one a lot. Again, this is unedited because I hate editing so don’t mind errors.
FALLING FOR YOU- THE 1975
“ ON THIS NIGHT AND IN THIS LIGHT,
I THINK I’M FALLING FOR YOU “
Your eyes shifted back and forth from the swirling balls of light above back to the flickering candles across the brick path. The delicate rose bush obstructed your vision slightly from where you were laying on the floor, but you could still see the wavering light dance in the cracks of the flowers.
A heavy sigh escaped your lips as your gaze traveled back up to the stars, you watched them twinkle with all their beauty. You've always loved the stars, the moon, and the sky. It was one of the few things in life that was constant, that must have been why you liked it so much. The stars brought you comfort, and recently you've been escaping social gatherings to look up at the sky any chance you'd get.
"My lady," you recognized the voice, and you knew the person who owned it had been sent out to find you, they always were sent out to find you, "what are you doing out here instead of enjoying the celebration?"
"My dear Jasper," you gently brought yourself to a seated position as your hands dug into the soft grass under you, "don't act coy, you know exactly why I am out here instead of in there. Mother must have sent you."
As mother has always sent poor Jasper to come and find you when you decided to, in her words, "go rouge" and leave the celebrations they throw. It was a common occurrence that your family holds a celebration inviting everyone in the land to come and party in your castles dining hall. Common people from all around would dress in their best attire in order to get a chance at royal life for a night. Royalty from other parts of the continent would travel far distances to experience a stupendous and rather famous party in the Kingdom of Candor.
"Yes, your mother has sent me. She would like you to come back to the castle immediately, she is to announce the upcoming event in place and would like you there as it regards you." Jasper's eyes sadden as he mentioned the last part, but he quickly composed himself. He knew of your displeasure with the royal ball to be held this Sunday, just two days away. He knew of most things about you. Jasper, being your royal servant, has spent majority (if not all his time) at the castle with you. You have seen Jasper more times that you've seen your father in the past year, and dare you say Jasper has been kinder to you than your father ever would be.
"Of course she would. Let me walk around the garden one last time then I will make my way back." You pushed yourself to a standing position, hands scrapping against the black material of your fitted dress brushing all the grass piece off.
You began your walk down the stoned pathway, arms encircled around your body as a breeze passed by pushing your hair back. The flowers rustled in the wind and the sight of it made a slight smile appear on your lips. Like your love for the stars, you also shared a love for flowers. But your love for the latter of the two differed. You loved the stars because they were constant, you loved flowers because they provided a sense of renewal, a hope that you too could bloom in the coming spring. The delicate petals fascinated you since you were a child and your love for it grew as your garden did. It was in no way complete, but it was filled with all kinds of flowers in each corner. Your mother disapproved of the 'messy' look to it and demanded you just plant roses there, but like always, you never listened.
You stopped in front of the anemone bush fingers wrapping around a single bud ripping it from its roots. You then placed the flowers in your hair that was held up by a pin in back. You grabbed another one placing it next to the other flower as you pull your mask down before turn to Jasper who stood waiting for you, "Shall we go?"
"Yes, my lady," Jasper held his arm out for you to grab onto as you walk on the pathway back up to the dining hall where people danced and chatter could be heard from where you two stood, "Why did you pull those flowers out and place them in your hair Princess Y/N?"
"Do you know what flower this is, Jasper?" He shook his head.
"My these flowers that I picked are anemone. They have many different meanings. One is protection against evil and ill wishes, another is the arrival of the first spring winds. They mean protection and rebirth. Lovely, isn't it?"
"Yes, they sound beautiful," The two of you were standing beside the door and Jasper reached forward gripping the metal handle.
"But they have another meaning too you know," Your arm laced around his once more once you were inside and the loud chatter made your voice barely audible for the older male, "they also mean forgotten love and affection."
He barely heard the last part, something you hoped he would have possibly caught onto, but it seems the noise was too loud, "That's nice my lady."
"Yes," You bitterly smiled as the two of you arrived where your mother and father stood composed, but you knew they were fighting back hostile words to throw your way, "it's very nice."
Jasper bowed to the King and Queen then retreated to his post standing tall near the other guards and servants around.
"Nice of you to finally join us," You father's voice was stern and his facial features static upon seeing you. "Now we can make the announcement."
Guards gathered around you as they lifted their horns causing the chaos in the room around to settle down. Eyes gathered to see the royal family stand above. Your family carefully tore off the masks that had been concealing your faces.
"Ladies and gentlemen, first of all I would like to thank each and every one of you coming to the kingdom tonight from lands far away to celebrate our dear daughter today." Your father placed a hand on your shoulder as those below clapped letting out cheers left and right. "With her reaching the dashing age of twenty-one we have decided to search for her beloved partner in life. This Sunday will be another ball hosted here to find the lover for my daughter. By her request it will be a masquerade ball like tonight, so please wear your best mask. We wish to see you all here again. Now let's wish a big happy birthday to my daughter, Y/N, princess of Candor!"
He raised his glass above the hall and those below did too letting out a perfectly coordinated happy birthday. You forcefully smile lifting your own glass up then bowing down to the crowd below. Upon doing so the flowers in your hair became noticeable to your mother who has stood with a sour look on her face ever since you entered the castle smelling like the outdoors, "Why would you place such ugly things in your hair?! Pulled from the root itself not even washed in water before?"
"Mother do you know what the meaning of the anemone flower is?" You took a sip from the champaign in your hard before turning to face her.
"Who cares for the meaning? They're ugly and ruin your hair. Take them out immediately."
"You just proved their meaning." A distain look formed on your fragile face. You bit your inner lip placing your glass on the tray that a waiter had held beside your family and your legs brought you to the stairs.
"Where are you going young lady?" Your father grumbled rushing to reach your side gripping your arm.
"To speak with our guests. You know the people who are here for me without me even wanting them to be here."
You finished your descent down the spiral stairs now entering the ballroom area where tables were scattered around, and people were dancing to the live music. Guests hurried to greet you as you walk by wishing you happy birthday mentioning that they traveled from far to greet you here. Mostly commoners ran up to get a glimpse at the beautiful princess, and young children ran to see the person they look up to. You greeted the children with pure bliss, the smile on your face reached your eyes anytime you bent down to hug a child that would give you a handmade bracelet as a present.
"I love it," You would say adding it to the collect of arm decor smiling at how adorable their creations were.
Now you sat by the bar area unhappily stirring the drink you had in hand while the bartender for the night tried to tell you horrible jokes to cheer you up.
"Can I tell you a joke about pizza?" Seokjin leaned over the counter eyes waiting for your response. He always did this, tried to make you happy when you felt all the opposite of it. Seokjin perhaps was your only friend in this castle, everyone else being too old for you to speak too or being too harsh on your behavior.
"Sure," You lazily replied while watching your soda swirl around in your cup, the bubbles popping at the top.
"Ah never mind it was too cheesy," He laughed, his laugh being a very distinct laugh that lulled you to join in.
"Just to let you know," You continued laughing as he did, you brought your hand up to cover your mouth as you did so, "I'm laughing at your laugh, not the joke. The joke was as bad as the last."
"But you laughed which means my work here," He flipped the glass in hand, "is done." He then walked away attending to other needs of the people who started to form a line demanding drinks left and right.
You pitied the workers here; they were often thrown around by the noble men and women who visited and believed that anyone who wasn't a part of the elite simply weren't worth the extra effort of being kind. You didn't believe in such a system and were open to speak with anybody, and that is why out of all your family you are the only one downstairs greeting people as they do you, while they sit upstairs only speaking with other royal families that venture up.
You quickly snickered at the pretentiousness of it all and downed the glass before you whipping your lips ridding the excess liquid from them.
"Excuse me, your highness," a voice behind you caught your attention and you shift your chair around catching the dark eyes of a male, "I believe this is yours."
In his hands he held the delicate anemone flower pushing it up to reach your line of vision. You look down at the purple flower then back up to the gentleman who had offered you the item that had fallen from your hair. His eyes were deep, you felt as though you were looking into a swirling stone of blackness. The rest of his features were covered by a mask, a beautiful white mask with the detailing of lines etched onto the surface of making a beautiful pattern.
"It is," you extend your hand forward, fingers brushing with his as you grab the delicate flower, "thank you."
"Anemone is an interesting choice of flower, don't you think?" The individual lingered around watching as you placed the flower back into your hair tucking it in securely. "Most royalty stick with the basic rose or tulip, and much less would they place it in their hair."
"Well, sir," You stood up from your chair brushing your dress down and retrieving your mask from the counter, "next time I'll make sure to be clad in roses and tulips with no other flower to be seen."
"Hey, hey," he held his hands up in response to your now defensive tone, "I mean no harm in pointing that out. I love anemone flowers. And it fits the theme for tonight, you know your birthday and now you're going to find you lover in just a few days."
"Don't remind me," You bitterly let out as your eyes drift around the room seeing those around now begin a dance floor in the center where tables were not placed. They moved around smiling with those around them, the mask covering their face not hiding the fact that they were doing so, much different from the crown behind yours.
"Not excited?" The man leaned against the counter letting his other arm rest on his hip. The suit he wore was obviously slight too small for him as the material hugged his defined arm showing off the muscle that hid underneath his jacket.
"My parents say it's a ball for me to find my beloved, thought of course they will have the final say, as they always do." You scoffed realizing this man's voice is not familiar to you at all. His looks, from what you could tell, are too not familiar and your furrow your eyebrows together under the mask letting out a soft tsk. "Have we met before?"
"Not to my knowledge." He clicked his tongue. "We don't really fit on the same social spectrum, your highness."
"Please stop with the formality. I hate when people always address me as 'your highness' it sounds so condescending." You scrunched your nose at the nickname.
"Well, what would you like me to call you, princess?" He was playing with you; you could tell by tone in his voice. He said princess in a way to make it stand out against the other words, he wanted to get a reaction out of you.
"My name would be just fine." You ignored his earlier comment. "And what should I call you?"
"I like the mystery so perhaps I won't tell you." You could tell he held a smug look on his face just by the way the words left his lips. He seemed like a hot shot, perhaps a prince that was too cocky, but he did mention that you weren't of the same class.
"Well mystery boy, when will I get the privilege to call you by your real name?" You began to bite the inners off your lips as you take in his appearance once more. By the looks of it he could be a prince if he were born into the right family. He was gorgeous no doubt, and his charm was impeccable.
"When you earned it." He flashed another smug smile which brought butterflies to your stomach. His gaze dances around your face trying to gather any intel on what you were feeling in that exact moment.
"Ah and what must I do to earn it?" You leaned forward as he licked his lips letting his tongue press against the inside of his cheek.
"For starters-" Before he could continue, he was cut off by Jasper stepping to your side giving a light tap on the shoulder.
"The King and Queen would like you to meet some people upstairs. Please follow me my lady." He held his arm out for you to grab as you rolled your eyes for possibly the twentieth time that night."
"Leave it to my parents to ruin yet another good thing during this night." You sighed letting your arm rope around Jasper's. Turning he began leading you towards the steps but before you could get father you stopped to look at the fine gentleman at the bar.
"May we meet again. I would really love to know what you were going to say." you then began your ascent up the stair grabbing the loose fabric of your dress, holding it tightly to ensure you don't trip and fall on the long attire.
The male, who still leaned against the counter, let out a curious chuckle tilting his head down letting his eyes close for a small moment before letting them reach back up to where you stood.
He was interested in you no doubt, but he shouldn't be.
He can't.
"Have you gotten the mask I have asked for?" You kept your cloak up shielding your face from others in the workman's shop making sure you keep your identity hidden.
"Yes, just how you like it, Violet." Yeonjun, the works man held out the wrapped material for you to grab. "I made sure to put the flower etched on it with precise execution. It was kind of difficult with the one flower you gave me to reference, but I tried my best."
"I'm sure you did wonderful, you always do." You placed the mask into the satchel that hung from your body. "Thank you for doing this. I will commission some money to you at the ball this Sunday. Meet me in the normal spot." Your voice lowered making sure it wasn't audible for the others around.
"Sounds good, Violet. I will see you there," He winked before attending other customers in the shop.
Yeonjun was someone that you met when you were just a young girl, and he was a young boy. His father was chosen to make masks for your family's royal gathering, and he came along with his father to see how business was done in the castle. You and Yoongi because close friends after that day and as you grew older you often would escape the castle grounds covering yourself with a cloak to blend in with the common people. He calls you Violet outside castle grounds to not draw attention.
Walking along the dirty road your feet scuffed against the ground and your cloak drags behind you collecting dust. The weather was beautiful out, a wonderful spring day where the birds were chirping, and the sun was shining.
The flowers were in full bloom at the castle, colors collided with each other, and open buds welcomed the spring weather will glee, yet here in the village there were little flowers to be found. The ones that were there were near death clinging onto their last breath of air before the last dead petal fell off from dehydration.
"You poor things," you frowned as your fingers brush against a rose bud, the slight touch causing the flower to fall from the stem to the cracked sidewalk.
"Sad isn't it?" You turned your focus from the empty stem to the gentleman that is now beside you, Park Jimin.
"Hello Jimin," You gritted your teeth slightly, "fancy seeing you here."
"I can say the same thing to you, princess," The last words he too said through gritted teeth offering a fake smile, "Aeris is waiting by the front gates."
"Why is it that you're always first to find out of my departure?" You huffed crossing your arms over my chest. "It's as though you are waiting for me to leave."
"If your father finds out you left with our best horse again he will not be pleased with me." Jimin stood impatiently. "You know what happened last time, he yelled at me."
"And I yelled at him. I defend you."
"Yes, but I still got in trouble for your actions. Think for once." His pointer finger extended pushing against your arm. "Your highness."
"You use proper names when speaking to me but somehow your actions don't follow in suite with that." You tilted your head to the side. "Let's walk around a bit then I will follow you home. If father wonders why we were out informed him that we went to the creek we used to go to ask child."
"Your father doesn't like me, remember? I'm just a stable boy and you're the pretty princess." He now began advancing towards the gated entrance.
"I don't understand why you're still offended by him telling you that I am not for you. You're gay first of all, second of all we were just friends." You rushed towards him in defense of yourself. "And I have done nothing but treat you like a normal person, not someone below me, you know this Jimin."
"Yes, but it still hurts when your father always deems me as below." His voice became softer as you reached the horses who were kept in check by a guard, the one guard who wouldn't be too harsh on your for leaving a castle.
"I am not my father." You replied just above a whisper. "I will never be my father."
Today was the day, the day you dreaded so. The infamous ball has finally arrive and the castle was frantic prepping everything. The dining hall was busy preparing meals, they have been working since early morning, and have no taken a break since. The maids were making sure the rooms were in prestige order, not even a speck of dust left on a window sill or painting. The guards were keeping check of the area making sure no funny business was happening in and around the castle grounds.
And you, you sat in your pretty dress while people made your makeup look all pretty and put your hair in pretty clips and told you of how pretty you look, but you felt like anything but.
You felt sick, your stomach churned and with the tightness of the dress you were almost sure you were going to vomit but the time the night was over. Your head hurt due to the lack of sleep the night before, you had been up overthinking, overthinking about how you'd rather be anywhere else.
"My lady," Your personal stylist/ nanny looked down at your standing figure that looked in the mirror, "You look beautiful."
"If only I felt beautiful."
"Hush," She placed a delicate hand on your shoulder turning you to look at her, "I know you are not the craziest about tonight, but at least try to have fun. Keep a positive mindset."
"Mae, I've been trying and it's so difficult. I want to live my life the way I want to."
"I'm afraid the life you were brought into doesn't allow for a princess to live how they want." Mae's voice hollowed out as she said this phrase and her head glanced down at her fingers as she picked the skin.
"But it doesn't have to be that way." You muttered sitting down on the windowsill watching the crowds gather around the yard. People stumbled in with masks covering their face, mostly royal families that your family was close with have arrived early, at request of your father. He always liked to see old friends without, as he says, "the commoners getting in the way", something that you always scoff to when being said.
"Your father would like you down in twenty minutes tops. Any later and he will be angry." And with this she left you.
"Me being late will be the least of his worries." You mumbled as you watched the door shut behind her. You quickly then shot up going to you closet to pull out the mask you have picked up in the village the day before. You carefully placed it onto your vanity eyes twinkling with wonder at the beautiful etching, you will have to pay Yeonjun more for his excellent work. It was exactly like the flower you had shown him, a smeraldo flower. Blackness surrounded the blue petals that connected to another flower making a chain that spiraled around the mask.
"If my parents find out they will be sure to have me executed," you thought to yourself as you looked at the dress hanging in the closet. It was black, elegant but not too royal with the style of it. You had planned to change into this after the first signs of your parents getting drunk of their asses to the point that they wouldn't try to worry about where you were, they always did this for extreme events.
You wanted to not stick out like a sore thumb, you didn't want all these people greeting you during the night each trying to prove themselves worthy, each trying to win your hand in marriage. You wanted to enjoy your night and not be a princess for one. You wanted to be normal, and the only way to do that was to dress normal, act normal, and disguise yourself. You requested the masquerade for this exact reason.
Within the twenty minutes of waiting, you have complied a list of things you would like to do while under your disguise, first you'd speak to the princes, you wanted to see how they'd react to a common girl hitting on them and eliminate the ones who are the rudest because inevitable they all will be rude. This was due to the fact of you knowing your parents will force you to marry one of the princes tonight, so at least you could have some say in it.
Second, you would see where the night takes you. Allow yourself to speak to everyone without this looming figure of being princess on you. Tonight, you would be you and only you.
Being the type of person you are, you waited the full twenty minutes before heading to the ball room where everyone was gathered. Your father impatiently looked around and spoke to Jasper who you assumed he was summoning him to find you. His eyes looked up to meet yours and he clapped in response, "My lovely daughter has arrived! Everyone welcome Princess Y/N!"
A round of applause erupted as you stepped down. Their masks were on the table, at this open even there were to be no masks per your father's request. You waved as you approached tables chatting with the families around. Most of the princes asked you mundane questions that weren't relevant to anything and only diverted the attention back to themselves in some way, how typical.
A few princes were sweet, your childhood friend Taehyung was there. He was prince of your sister province, Gandor, and was a lot kinder than the other men there. You would marry him if it weren't for the fact that you didn't like him that way. He was your best friend, if not a brother.
"The guest of honor tonight!" Taehyung rose to his feet engulfing you into a tight hug. "How's the royal lady feeling?"
"Like I need to get drunk in order to get through tonight," You pouted.
He chuckled at your response and put his arms on your shoulder. "If you're not feeling it lets sneak out later like we always do. We'll go hide in your garden."
"Actually, I have a different way of hiding tonight," You pulled his figure down as you leaned into his ear, "I'm changing later."
"Me too. I can't sleep in my tux."
"I am going to be a commoner tonight." You clarified and his backed away with wide eyes.
"That's bold, even for you. But I hope it works out."
"It will. Why do you think I requested a masquerade?" You smirked pointing to the mask that laid on the table.
"I always knew you were smart. Best of luck tonight," He then bowed before you and you did the same turning to greet the other tables.
The princes were boring and had personality traits that centered around their manly features. It was exhausting hearing men speak about themselves only with no account to what you have to say.
They boasted about the kingdom and how great it was, more so how great they have made it. They described the vast land they had, and the many brides lined up for then to court (which was supposed to make you jealous, but it only made your eye twitch).
"The common people are coming in now; may you all have a wonderful night tonight!" Your father had made the announcement from the podium as a guard tapped on your shoulder to escort you up.
"Your highness," He held his hand out and you declined his offer heading to the steps without him. You never understood why he confined you to the upper deck when commoners were entering, you'd be down there anyways greeting people later, what did it matter if you started down there?
"King of Luxors seemed to be enjoying your company. We haven't been too close with their kingdom either, he would be a good suitor." Your father smiled as people began entering the vast room staring in awe at the scenery around them.
For this event, your parents put their all into making it the most festive and beautiful ceremony yet. Roses hung from the ceiling, fell down the walls, and sat in the tables. Vines decorated the chairs and streamers were placed all around. Guards were wearing their usual uniform, but each adored a flower pinned to their chest. You insisted on flowers being the main thing here, purple roses.
"I don't like him," you didn't go into specifics, as if your father would care, but the King was too touchy for your liking. He rested a hand on your leg for far too long and his demeaning nature just didn't sit right with you.
He seemed to be the type to silence his wife, she was only there for his intimate needs and superior ruling. He wouldn't love you. He would just use you as another trophy in his life.
"His family has been very kind to us these past events." He continued. "They have offered aid to our farmlands."
"Nice." You gave a laden smile as your fingers grip the sides of your chair.
"Royal family of Daegu has also suggested some sort of merge." You perked up a bit at his words, eyes scrunching together at the proposition.
"You mean the family we have had a feud with for years?"
It was known that Candor and Daegu were not on the best of terms. Years ago, there was a war that almost obliterated both lands. Since then, there has been this unspoken tension between the two and your father has been trying to find a solution since the war. He knew of their eldest son, and he knew that possibly there could be a marriage to bond the two cities. Though he wasn't sure if the rival city would nip at his proposition but seeing the family at the royal event this evening, he was almost positive this arrangement would work out.
"Yes," He took a sip of his wine placing the cup down, "It is likely he will be in the running for your future husband. Please get to know the fellow tonight at this ball."
Min Yoongi. His name was bitter against your tongue and the aftertaste of it was enough to make bile rise from your throat. He was a ravished man, one that took after his parents identically. His mannerism and ideals directly mirrored that of his fathers. He was basically a carbon copy of everything wrong with the King of Daegu, but you had to admit he had the serene beauty of his mother.
His face was overwhelmingly stern with hints of delicacy laced throughout his features. His lips pout out and his eyes were like those of a raven. His dark hair was fluffy and sat perfectly atop his head, you were almost sure if he were to walk there would be a slight bounce in the locks. His outfit fit that of his personality, dark with underlying hints of softness. His jacket was black along with his trousers. His shoes were also black with hints of silver in the buckle and a small green embroidered MIN on the side. His pants adorn a silver belt that screamed wealth at the very sight. His button-down shirt had silver buttons that trailed up his midsection stopping at his chest where a few buttons were left untouched. His jacket adorned a pendent, the family pendent of two serpents intertwined with each other. In the middle his name was engraved on this silver in a dark green ink. He was sight to see, and definitely wasn't one you wanted to see for long.
"I'll try my best to." You turned away from the Min family's table on the upper deck peering down at the ballroom below.
You would be lying if you said you weren't looking for someone. Of course, you were trying to spot the very person that made the last ball all the more interesting. You weren't sure if where to find him and even if he were to be here tonight. If he was a commoner, it may be likely he wasn't allowed inside the ball, since this is a more formal event only the few who had gotten sent an invitation was allowed inside. It was luck of the draw you hoped he got picked.
"Princess Y/N," Turning to your right you were faced with Min Hoseok, the youngest child of the two esteemed Min children.
"Hello Prince Hoseok," You took his hand bowing to him while he placed a tender kiss on your own.
"How is the special guest doing tonight?" Hoseok was the kindest of the Min family and quite possibly the only one you have had a decent conversation with. He was the odd one out of the family, always too bright against the dullness of parent and siblings. He was the sun among the dark moons.
"As good as any special guests of courting balls are," You let out a solemn giggle.
"So have you heard the news?"
"Ah yes, the news that I am possibly going to be wedded to your oh so wonderful brother? Yep." You sighed bringing your hands together to play with your thumbs.
"I do wish there was a better way," Hoseok pursed his lips together as his hands found their way to his pockets. "Mother and father told us it is what is needed to bring peace. Bring peace my ass they just want wealth."
"It's fine, Hoseok. At least I'll get to see you more often."
"True, seeing me is a plus. But it doesn't seem fair." His lips jutted out in a protest. His soft features show sadness, and you tore your gaze from his face afraid you will cry right there.
"Nothing is fair in this life." And it was true, nothing in royal life was fair. Nothing in common life was fair. Nothing in life is fair.
m
It was easier than you thought slipping away from the confines of your parents. They seemed to have gotten drunk earlier than you expected, the stress of finding a suitor must have made them down the drinks at a faster pace letting you leave them to their own happiness.
Jasper didn't follow you, he assumed you were just going to wonder around like you usually did. Which was valid because that's what usually happens when your parents get shitfaced.
It was hard to avoid the people rushing to get a glimpse at the princess, thankfully a secret corridor known to those in the palace helped you make your escape to your confines easy and painless. Upon entrance you tore off the mask placing it on your bed. You kicked off your ugly heels placing them beside your nightstand. Getting the too tight dress off your body was a task you didn't expect to take as long as it did. The dress with tied in several knots and halfway through you contemplated cutting them, but it would cause too much suspicion.
Finally, you undid the ties letting the dress fall into a heap at the bottom of your legs. You stepped out placing the dress on your bed next to your mask. You looked down at it with saddened eyes.
If only you parents let you do what you wanted to do with your life. Love whom you wanted to love, be who you wanted to be. But of course, that couldn't never happen. You're a princess.
The black dress was easy to get into, it wasn't as expensive nor as complex as the one on your bed. It was simple. Something you were used to but liked greatly.
You put your hair down letting the loose curls fall down your back. You looked... simple.
Smiling at your reflection you placed the black mask on your face letting it cover more than half of your features. Your lips were the only thing showing along with part of your nose.
Leaving your room, you began your trip to the ballroom. It was a short distance from your living quarters using the hallways you've done before but it seems luck was not on your side tonight.
"Excuse me miss," It was the voice of the stable boy who probably left the party because of how he hated seeing the royals live it up, "You can't be here."
"I-" You paused trying to make an excuse, but Jimin noticed your worry mistaking it for a genuine lost commoner.
"I won't tell on you don't worry. Let me lead you to the ballroom." He held his arm out for you to grab as he graciously directly you to the ballroom. "Don't get lost again. The next person to find you might now be so kind."
"Thank you." Your lips curved up into a smile for the boy who you had known for years. "Thank you so much."
"No problem. Enjoy your night." He then left going back down the same corridor you just left.
Standing at the edge of the chaos you were pleased to not see stares slowly gather in your direction. People carried on with their normal tasks, the party went on, and you were able to be a part of it entirely now.
Walking around no one gathered at your feet, no one stopped you to have a conversation, no one tried to court you. It was pure bliss.
"Hello there! What can I get you tonight?" Seokjin, who was manning the drink station, leaned against the counter with a towel around his shoulder.
"Just water, please." You leaned against the counter too waiting with anticipation to see if he'll notice your act.
"On it!" He flipped through glass in his hand scooping ice and pouring water into it. "For the lady."
"Thanks, Seokjin." You smirked taking a sip from the dainty straw waiting for his reaction.
"Who-" He squinted at you taking in your appearance further and it was as though everything clicked in his mind. "Y/N?"
"Shhh!" You quiet him down hoping that no one nearby hear him. "No need to say it so loud."
"Wow you did it. You finally did the masquerade switch. I've been waiting for this to happen; I should have guessed it would be tonight."
"What can I say?" You took another sip as he still stood there surprised at your actions.
"Man, if you get caught finding a suitor will be the least of your worries." He sucked in some air grabbing the towel to wipe down the access water on the counter.
"I'll just have to be extra careful tonight." You gave a determine smile placing the cup down on the counter. "I shall go mingle as a commoner now."
You were giddy stepping away from the counter passing people from all social classes and backgrounds.
As exciting as the experience was it you weren't sure exactly what to do. You can't just talk to people; you were sure how to approach them they usually are the ones doing the approaching. Dancing alone doesn't seem like the best idea, it would be quite awkward to say the least.
"You look lost," A hand lightly sat on your waist allowing the passer to slip past you in the crowded area. His hands were soft and his touch delicate.
"Just a bit," You looked up to see Taehyung with his hand on his hip and the other resting at his side.
"Well, you should work on that it makes you stand out more." Lifting his hand from his hip he held it out for you. "Now let's go dance!"
He snaked you through the crowd to the dance floor as the band began to play a partner dance song. It was common practice at the ball for everyone to dance and then switch partners throughout trying to converse with as many others as possible. You never participated in the practice because you father didn't want you touching "common folks' grimy hands".
"I'm exciting to finally try this." You were quick to follow in Taehyung's footsteps having him guide your move. You knew how to ballroom dance, but it had been a bit since you have done it.
"It's lots of fun. Chat with your next partner." And with that he flung you to the next person and you crashed into their hands as they began to dance immediately.
"Gorgeous dress." The man commented, his lips poking out from under his rather long mask. His jacket hung big on his arms, the sleeves hitting the lower part of your palm in his right hand.
"Thank you." Dancing with him was different from Taehyung. This man didn't seem to want to lead, he knew the steps but not confidently enough.
"Are you apart of a royal family or from a village?" He followed your guide, which was subtle not to expose your stance in a palace nor make you seem like you don't know what you're doing.
"I'm from a village. Draken down the road." He spun you around and your dress beautifully flowed our circling your area.
"I'm from Grubster." Grubster. A village you were familiar. It was basically the trash can of the land, exactly why it is called Grubster. The village was ridden with disease, poverty, and crime. Your parent had abandoned the town about a year ago not wanting to deal with the issue eventually letting it spiral out.
"Ah Grubster. Is it still bad there?"
"Bad? That has to be an understatement. Ever since the King and Queen abandoned the town it has been downhill. I hope when the Princess rules it will be better." His statement warmed your heart and caused your lips to curve up.
"She will." With that you switched falling into the arms of another person. This one be a prince that you met earlier in the night. His cologne was enough to know that it was him and the cocky smile too. You disliked him when first speaking and the thought of having to do it again formed a headache.
"Hello pretty lady," His voice was high pitched and not pleasant in anyway. He gripped your waist a bit too low and looked down at your breast for a bit too long.
"Hi," You said through gritted teeth. The rest of the time dancing he tried to make small talk but immediately went silent when you mentioned you're a commoner. He moved his hand up but of course his eyes still peeked down your dress.
It was the last partner to have during the dance and the prince you were with spun you a bit too hard causing you to stumble into the next man. His hands reached out to catch you and he steadied you.
"Whoa there." Due to the pace of the music you quickly had to compose yourself and begin dancing.
"Sorry," Your eyes peeked up and the familiar mask form nights before was right in front of you. He wore a different tux, and his hair was slicked back. He wore a smile on his face giggling at your clumsiness.
"It's fine." He knew how to dance but he wasn't as forceful as past partners you've had were. His pace was just right, and his grip wasn't too tight. "How's your night going."
"Surprisingly well." You chirped. "Usually, I don't enjoy these things."
"Don't enjoy? Why's that." He bit his lip in contemplation as his eyes scanned your features that could be seen.
"Well tonight I did something different with my looks," You smiled at the thought of your dress, your mask, and your flowers adorn on your wrist.
"Yeah, I see that. Still kept the same anemone flower though. Was hoping you'd switch it up."
Your body tried to freeze but he pushed you to keep going in the mess of dancing people. He figured you out, how could he? You spoke with him once for almost less than five minutes and he already could see through the facade.
"I don't know what you're talking about." You decided to play coy. Act like you don't know what he's talking about and make it seem like he is crazy for insinuating such a thing.
"It's okay I don't tell anyone, your highness." He winked, it was visible through his mask. "The flowers gave it away of course, otherwise very well done."
"Who are you?" You questioned once again.
"Like I said that's a mystery, my lady." He spun you around for the final part of the song. His hand encircled around yours once more and pulled you flush to his body for the final pose as the last note hit. "Now why are you hiding as a commoner tonight?"
People began clearing the floor and going about what they did before the special dance.
"None of your business," You stayed pressed to his body for a second too long and break it once you realize that.
"Ah I guess you're right." The mystery boy followed you down the path to the lonely table in the corner. You wanted to sit down and survey the area, see how those interact with each other.
"Are you following me?" You raise your eyebrow, but the act was hard to see behind the fragile mask.
"I want to spend time with the lovely lady," He bowed for effect. "And it seems like everyone else that I talk to here doesn't like my company."
"How sad," You let him sit by you because, while you may be playing tsundere you do like his presence. He was easy to talk to and fun to joke around with. He didn't seem to like you for your status, and you have to owe him one for not giving away your cover.
"It really is but at least I have you by my side." He hits his elbow against yours before leaving back into the terribly uncomfortable chair.
"Hey mystery boy," his head perked up as you let your finger brush against your lip, "how much do you like flowers?"
You watched at the male stepped around the garden making sure to press his hands against each and every flower he meets. His eyes filled with glee with each rustle of the flowers in the night wind.
"So, I'm guessing you love flowers." You giggled crossing your arms over one another seeing his turn around.
"Love? Of course I love flowers. How else would I have known what the anemone meant?!"
"True I should have suspected that from the start." You moved towards the center of the garden and plot your knees down.
"Back where I'm from we don't have many flowers, and if we do, they are dark." He moved his way towards you dropping down too on the grass, his hands dug into grass.
"I can't imagine living in a place like that. These flowers are the only that keeps me going lately." You sighed letting yourself lay down and now look up at the starts. Mystery boy joined you and looked up also.
There were a couple of moments of silence, the only thing being heard was your breathing and the occasionally wind.
"JK." He broke the silence as his hand rested on his stomach. "Call me JK."
"Huh, JK," you said it yourself smiling that he told you his name, or at least part of it.
"Yep, JK." He repeated.
It was silent again, but it was comfortable. You felt comfortable with him here in this moment. You haven't felt this comfortable with anyone since you met Jin, and that had been years ago. Everyone else wanted something from you, only liked you because you were the next heir to the throne.
Turning your head, you faced him to notice him already facing you. A smile was adorned on his face.
"What are you looking at?"
"You." A blush creeped on your face as you turn away in embarrassment.
"You're a commoner aren't you." You said absentmindedly. "Or perhaps you are a prince who actually is worth my time."
And you hoped he was a prince. If he were a prince you can get to know him, marry him even if that's what he would like also.
"My lady I'm only a prince for today. It is all an act." He rested his head against the soft grass again, eyes trained on the stars above now.
"And I am a commoner for tonight." You sat up a thought circling in your mind. "But perhaps for right now we can just be ourselves.
"And how do you suppose we do that?" He sat up resting on his hands cocking his head to the side.
"Let's take off the masks, the labels, and just be... us?" You suggested but the silence that followed made you think perhaps it was the right thing to say. "You know what it's dumb. Forget what I-"
"No!" He quickly stopped you. "No, it's not dumb at all." His hands lifted stopped right beside your cheeks. "Can I?"
"Yes." You tucked your bottom lip into your mouth as he grazed his hand behind your head. His other hand came to grip the mask at the front of your face. The whole time you studied his features. It was strange seeing it so up close and in this moonlight. His dark eyes were even prettier in the light.
Undoing the string the mask fell limp in his grip. You gave a small smile as he stared at your now bare face.
"Can I?" You raised your hands too enclosing the soft material of his mask. He nodded and you slowly inched towards the ribbon material on the back. You wanted to see his face, you wanted to see the man behind the mask.
"Your highness," Before you could tug at the string a strict voice called out to the two of you in the garden. Both of your head's whip to see Jasper with Herndery. The two of them looked disappointed in your change of clothes and disappearance at the ball. "We've been looking everywhere for you."
"It seems we know why now that we couldn't find you." Hendery had always been the meaner of the two, and the one you disliked the most.
"I'm assuming it's time for the closing ceremony." You said through gritted teeth. How stupid of you to have your cover blown in such a way.
"Yes, it is madam. Please retreat back to your room and change back into your other dress." Jasper held his hand out for you to grab. Tears filter in your eyes as you step away from the man you know as JK.
"Did you know this was the princess?" Hendery questioned the male.
"No, no he did not. Not until I took my mask off."
"Well then, sir. It is best for you to leave us as once." Hendery guided his leave and JK bowed.
"I enjoyed the ball your highness."
And with that he left, and the tears began to pour.
SYNOPSIS: After forming a bond with an unidentified stranger at your family’s ball, your parents send you off to marry Min Yoongi in attempt to mend their relationship with the Min family. Having to forget about the stranger and accept your new life, you end up being closer than you think with the mysterious man that you couldn’t seem to shake off.
Pairings: ??? Jungkook x reader, Prince Yoongi x reader
WARNINGS: slightly abusive parents, future smut, violence (each chapter will mention specific warnings)
A/N: Hi! This is my second written work that I am publishing so please be kind!! I hope you all enjoy and if there are errors let me know :) chapters will be listed below!
EACH CHAPTER WILL HAVE A SONG. FEEL FREE TO LISTEN WHILE READING.
ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
warnings: mentions of bullet wound and taking a bullet out, mentions of stitches, blood, cursing
A/N: i struggled to write this so it probably sucks but the plot be picking up 👀 also unedited as of right now, will fix later
LIBEROSIS: The desire to care less about things.
"I can't accept this." You threw down the bag in front of the male who sat eating his cheeseburger hidden away in the back of the hospital cafeteria. His legs were spread across the timid booth and his elbows rested against the table.
"Too bad." He pulled his sandwich closer to his face taking another mouthful of the meat before shoving the bag back towards you. "It's yours."
"Jungkook." You looked around to make sure people weren't nearby. "It's fucking ten thousand dollars."
"And?" He now reached for his bag of lays, he threw chips in his mouth as your eyes widen down at his lax figure.
"What do you mean? I can't take ten thousand dollars from you guys!" You whispered. "I told you it was fine just take the money back."
"Y/N," He lifted the bag pushing it towards your body, "Just take the damn thing."
You huffed realizing you really couldn't fight him on this. It was a surprise when you opened the small bag last night to reveal stacks of cash with a little smiley face sticky note on it saying 'enjoy :)'. You knew it was risky to take it, who knows where that money came from. But with what it looks like now you have no other option but to take it.
You stood there for a moment looking around before walking away from Jungkook heading back to the ER unit getting ready to finish your last hour of work. You've been there since 3 AM, and at 1 PM you would enjoy the glorious freedom of having two days off work. It was due to your extra hours helping the last few days at the surgery unit.
Walking back, you noticed a familiar man standing at the front desk running his fingers against the counter. He impatiently looked around the room peering down the halls to see if any nurse would pop out to help him.
"Your friend is in the cafeteria," You don't make eye contact as you grab a few charts reviewing their files.
"You work here too?" The individual tilted his head, curiously eyeing your figure wondering why he's never seen you here before. He's been here plenty of times recently but had never spotted your face in the crowd.
"No, I just wear scrubs and cosplay Grey's Anatomy." You look up making eye contact with Taehyung, "Yes I work here dummy."
He looked down at the bag you placed on the counter raising his eyebrows, "You shouldn't leave it out like that, you know it's a lot of money."
"I know was trying to give the damn thing back to Jungkook but he wouldn't take it," You sighed bringing your hands up to rub your eyes. "Are you going to go look for him?"
"Don't need to he's already coming this way," He pointed his head in the direction of Jungkook who had his hands in the pocket of his jacket as he took a bite of an apple.
With that you walked away heading to your first patient's room. It was a teen girl who was experiencing some vision issues, like seeing white spots, and her primary care provider advised they get it checked out due to past heart issues.
Thankfully, it was nothing big, just migraines which you knew too much about, and the doctor was able to send her home safely after giving her a cocktail of medicines to ease the pain.
After that you saw a few more patients that varied in situation, and thankfully none were stress inducing enough to give you a headache, so before you knew it you were back out doing paperwork while your fellow co-workers around you talked.
"So, let's talk about the cutie that got transferred to our department." Lisa wiggled her eyebrows and Tina clapped excitedly. "What was his name again? Junko? Jung-"
"Jungkook got transferred here?" You interrupted her, the file in your hands slamming against the table.
"Yeah! Asked for an hour switch and got put with us!" Tina confirmed grabbing the paperwork from the printer beside her. "He is so hot."
"Truly a walking god. Man, I want to have a night with him. Have you seen those arms?" Lisa's hand supported her chin as her gaze travels across the room in a daydream.
While the two of them seemed quite happy to have the handsome boy in your unit, you were quite the opposite. You wouldn't deny that Jungkook was not everything you could ever ask for in a man. He was incredibly beautiful, soft skin blending with his soft features, the small mole below his lip being something you found cute. He had a body to die for, the scrubs did not do its job of hiding his toned, muscular arms. The material clung to his biceps and when he would carry something heavy, his arm veins would be on display causing many of the staff to water at the mouth. He was a perfect guy, at least seemingly perfect, but you knew the truth. He was a gang member, mafia member, whatever the hell he was in. He was a criminal and probably killed people. No matter how attractive he is you did not want to get mixed up in any mafia shit.
"Speaking of the sex God." Tina lowered her voice as Jungkook strode down the hallway, a big box of supplies in his very pretty hands, arms flexing and veins out. He walked with another newbie, Minhyuck, and they seemed to be laughing at something one of them said.
Along with the others, your eyes trailed his figure as he continued down the hallway nearing the desk you all were at. The pen in your hand spun as you spiraled into various thoughts, all of them surrounding the man before you.
He was a mafia member, and he was also your coworker. Knowing this information is enough for you to try and get him fired, to have him not be your coworker who is a mafia member anymore, but if you did that you would probably be on the 9 AM news found in a ditch. So, you decided to just let him stay. He wasn't causing any trouble and was there for a half decent reason; he wanted to take care of the mafia members when they get injured. He wanted to save a life and who were you to deny that.
"Y/N!" Though you were staring, you were zoned out to the point where you didn't realize that Jungkook had looked over to your desk.
When he called your name, your eyes widened, and you quickly looked away back to your file. With the box still in his hand, he jogged a bit to reach the desk placing on the counter and leaned over.
"Y/N. Fancy seeing your here." He tried to catch a peek at the file you were holding but you shut it and looked up to him.
"I literally work here. And this is confidential patient information. Stop snooping."
"But I'm in your unit now." He smirked. "Can't I see the files?"
"It's not your patient." You grabbed the stack of files and stood from your seat no longer wanting to converse with him. Lisa and Tina were giving you weird glances and Lisa even managed to kick your chair lightly (to which you gave her a glare). "Don't you have supplies to put away?"
He looked to his left where the large box was placed and where his fried used to be. "Yeah. I'll see you later. You too Lisa and Tina."
Once Jungkook left you stood too taking your leave before Tina or Lisa could stop you.
"Are you stalking me?"
You were walking on your route home, white sneakers hitting the wet pavement and sending small splashes out. Your jacket hung over your body keeping the rain from fully reaching your skin, but the thin cloth material could only do so much. While walking home you, were able to pick up on things that would happen around this time. The nighttime walk was the easiest to fine differences, not much happened during the night, but walking today at 1:10 pm it was a bit more difficult to spot the raven-haired boy trailing around you.
"How did you notice me tailing you?" He was behind the wall but peeked around when you spotted him.
"It's not that difficult to notice." You weren't entirely wrong. Noticing someone following you isn't hard, not when you pay attention.
"Yeah, but I trail people for a job. I'm supposed to be good at it." Jungkook huffed placing his hands i his pockets.
"I guess you got sloppy." Jungkook's phone began to ring, and he quickly shoved his hand into his jeans answering it.
You tried not to listen; you were never one to zone in on conversations others had, but you could still hear small details. It seems he was being summoned someone, the flow of swears after showed it was urgent and something quite damaging happened. The hand through the hair was another cue that this call was no good.
"Ok, yeah I'll come right away. No, I don't need someone to pick me up I have my bike." He hung up and jogged to catch up to where you were. "Hey. We need your help with something."
Eyebrows raised waiting for him to explain.
"You up to stitch up another bullet wound?"
You thought the ride there would be the scariest thing of the evening, but when you saw the sight of Park Jimin lying on the table, blood-soaked shirt and jeans, nose swollen and arms cut, you realized you were wrong.
Jungkook rode a bike, not just any bike, a big, huge motorcycle that he used to whip around lanes and run red lights. You held on for dear life in those moment wondering if the next truck would hit you two, and it thankfully didn't. Pulling up to the gated mansion, shivers ran through your body and your body tensed at the sight. When Jungkook rushed off the bike it took you a few more seconds to follow still trying to reorient yourself.
"Y/N?" Jungkook snapped you out of trance and you stumbled with the duffle bag in hand to reach the door. From there you followed Jungkook who was approached by three different men, one being Taehyung, and they explained the situation. You avoided looking around not wanting to remember being here at all, you just wanted to help Jimin and leave right after.
"The Kangs? God damn it. How did Jimin not see them?" Jungkook finally reached their makeshift infirmary door sliding it open to reveal Jimin and another man. Jimin was on the table losing his consciousness by the second. Blood was dripping from the table to the floor, and his shirt was stained red. "How the fuck did they sneak up on him?"
"A group came out of nowhere trying to get information out of him. They didn't want to risk bringing him to another location. It was a power move too." The man to the right explained.
"What information did they want?" Jungkook and the man exchanged looks while you began to set everything up. You stole from the hospital grabbing materials after Jungkook stated that it was bad. Once everything was laid out you decided to move in and cut Jimin's shirt off to expose the wound.
One bullet wound on the left side of his stomach and three stab wounds scattered around. He looked like hell and the sight of it made you queasy, but you stomached it down to get working.
"Do you mind placing this in his mouth? When I do stitches, he won't want to bite his teeth to shreds" The man who sat beside Jimin nodded and grabbed the rolled towel from your hands placing it in Jimin's mouth. In your haste of grabbing (stealing) materials you forgot to grab something that would reduce the pain.
After that you got to work. Biggest thing was getting the bullet out. With the tools you grabbed it would be easy once the bullet was located. Jungkook had returned to your side and prepped the other materials.
"Jungkook. You never told me he was on the brink of death." You breathed out hurrying to remove the bullet. "He's going to need a blood transplant do know his blood-"
"He's type A, same as me." Jungkook replied.
"Is anyone else type A? I need your help and you can't sit down and give blood for that." Bingo you found the bullet. Removing your finger, you reached for the tool and lodged it in his wound. Jimin let out a cry in pain while his body fidgeted around.
"I am." The boy with blond hair raised his hand.
"Perfect. There are blood bags and IVS in the bag." You blew the stray piece of hair out of your face as you pulled the bullet out. "Have Jungkook insert the IV and have another person watch it."
"Okay Jimin, time for the hard part."
Three wound stitches later and a whole lot of sweat, Jimin was finally in a stable (at least as stable as he could be in a non-hospital environment) condition. The blood transfusion went well, and the blood loss lessened.
"Wow you are literally a lifesaver." The man who gave the blood for Jimin, who you found out was named Hoseok, helped pick up the various blood-soaked rags and empty medical containers.
"That's my job." You were also picking up the spare containers throwing it into the large garbage bag in the middle.
"Yeah, but what you did was amazing. We could have lost him. You saved two of our men's lives." A new person stood in the doorway, his figure towering over everyone else in the room. His bulky arms cross as his body used the door frame for support.
"It was really nothing." You felt small in his presence but also felt a sense of security.
"I'm Namjoon." He stepped forward reaching his arm out. "I apologize for not being able to meet you sooner. I had some business to take care of."
"It's fine." After shaking his hand, you continued to clean not wanting to stay in this mansion any longer than necessary.
There were two things that Namjoon would follow up with. The first would just be a simple thank you, possibly some praise for your hard work. He would shove another check in your direction and send you off with four months' rent. He would make sure you felt appreciated for what you did.
The second option is he would offer you a job. Yes, a job. He would offer you work at this mafia mansion to be their personal doctor. You would fix up the men and nurse them to health. Pay would be more than exceptional. But if you denied he could keep prying you to do it. You didn't know him, from speaking with him before and seeing him now, you didn't think he could be one of the dirty mafias men but looks can be deceiving.
"You don't need to clean, my men will take care of it. Please rest." He pulled out a spare chair and urged you to sit in it. Awkwardly walking, you reach the chair and sit. Namjoon pulled a similar chair out for himself and sat across from you. "Thank you for you work today. And the other day too with Taehyung. You truly have done a good deed for this family."
Family. Mafias were family. A bunch of rag-tag random men, some actually blood related but most not, working under a boss that claims everyone there to be family. Family.
"As for pay we will give it to you upon your leave. And since you have said not one but two lives, you will be put on our no harm list. I will have someone detail that later." He paused.
You knew of the no harm list. It was a list of individuals who have done a great deed for a mafia, and this deed put them on a list that would ensure their indefinite safety. If a different gang were to attack, Bangtan would save them.
"But I do have a question for you, Y/N."
"How do you know my name?" Your body stiffened in the chair, hands clutched the sides in anticipation. Did Jungkook expose you after saying he wouldn't?
"We are very crafty with searching people. Also, Taehyung is pretty good at remembering where he was." Namjoon explained and you nodded slowly. "Your file was pretty blank. Most information unknown, like your childhood, but that's not the point. We want to offer you a job here-"
"No."
"I didn't get to finish." Namjoon seemed disgruntled when you cut him off, something you have done before. "I wanted to offer you a job, but you seem pretty sold to not take it."
"No, I don't want the job. I prefer to stay out of mafia business." You stood up. "Actually, I would like to leave as soon as possible. I can inform Jungkook of proper care procedures and such."
"Of course, Y/N." Namjoon stood too shoving the chair to the side. "The job is always open if you change your mind. I will have one of my men drive you home. Thank you for your help."
"My pleasure."
You were a mystery. Jungkook knew it the moment he saw you at the office. He wasn't a creep by any means, but he did take an interest in you when you saved a little girl on his first day. Your passion for this job was tenfold but he could see a glint of guilt in your eyes. When the show was over your face fell and eyes zoned out.
After that day he went to his computer and searched your name. It wasn't hard to find at the hospital, the desk and timesheets had everyone's name, and but finding you in the systems proved more difficult. Very little information was provided, only subliminal items such as your name and address were shown. No previous address nor schools attended were on record. It was as if you were a ghost before the age of fifteen, and that intrigued him. You were the mystery he wanted to solve.
And fate stoke that very night you found Taehyung bleeding out on the side of the rode, the one link he needed to talk to you more and find out more about you.
"Jungkook." It had been long after you were given a ride home by Hoseok, and Jungkook sat in the room with Jimin checking up on him every now and then. "I would like you to keep an eye on Y/N."
"Why?" Jungkook tried to make out Namjoon's figure in the dim room.
"Something doesn't sit right with me."
Jungkook agreed.
"How is the first fifteen years of her life erased?" Namjoon thought aloud.
Namjoon turned to leave but stopped in his tracks. "And Jungkook, while watching her make sure to keep track of those around her."
