My Life

To get stuff off my chest Food I like Anything else I like

[perveerest]

The embers have not gone out

I find myself here again through the path of least resistance. Or more specifically the path of procrastination.

My life has progressed still further than I could ever have imagined, since all that time ago when I'd first started this blog to rant about my misfortune. It's funny now, to look back and see what I was willing to put myself through. I do not believe in karma but I can muse that I went through a tough time and  have cosmically earned a good time. Enough of this though, I could go on forever.

Christmas is nearly here and so my thoughts turn to presents and what I'd like and what I think would make for good presents for other people. On my secret Santa list I went for my usual trio of things; something useful, something to last, and a foodie treat.

I am looking forwards to being able to use my new staff discount and purchase a few good things cheaply. I like to know what other people ask for Christmas. It's a small insight to what people think they need/ you learn a little more about them or what they expect. I compare it to how important I rate these things. Can never go wrong with chocolates! Socks though? Really? How exciting must your life be if socks are the only things on your list? Although, a nice pair of Christmas socks does sound comfy and warm!

Procrastinating? Yes, after my degree I wasn't sure which path my life would take. Alas, before me stands another set of nearly 15 exams! I wasn't prepared for this. I struggle to cope. My 'life' has slowly disintegrated, my attention diverted to this new and important aspect. I am grateful however, where once I looked at life and had no objective and too much free time and yet somehow still got nothing done, to where I can appreciate my time and look back and consider it such a waste.

[perveerest]

The lines of friendship and the boundaries of responsibility

This for me is the beginning of a sad one involving a friend that I'll call A. I went on a family holiday recently, there I met a friend of some family's family.. Anyway, we got on like brothers, so much so I even stayed with his family for a few days and had the opportunity to meet his friends and play pool, do some archery and even did some Karting.

Coming back from holiday led to the inevitable drifting that occurs between friends. We stayed in touch with the occasional text. Recently we spoke again, inevitably I told him of my recent success in the getting a job department.

Baring in mind that we have only known each other for about a week, I received a text within a few days after A found out I have job. At first he asked me what I did- normal, I told him. Then, how much I earn- weird, I offered a vague response. Then he asked me for money- hmm, it just so happened to be a nice multiple of the amount I offered..

So he began with he needed my help with something and I, for the life of me, didn't know what he would ask. When asked why he needed the money, he began some story about his admission money going missing. That actually he had gathered a large amount of money and that he needed only a 'little' more. Does this count as my responsibility? He told me not to tell his parents because they would be cross.. Clearly if something serious had happened he'd be okay with turning to them. I've met them and they are decent people. Am I a bad friend?

I began to question his entire intent with getting in touch. It hurt to think that he didn't want my friendship and that his entire interest lay in getting money from me. I was angry both with him, and myself. How could I have been so naive?

I said no. It was simple in the end, he was after all a stranger, well an acquaintance. He asked for too much. It was not my responsibility to cover him, half way across the world. I work damn hard for my money.

This didn't go down well, as can be imagined. I don't know if we're friends anymore. Not like I care about this anymore, it just seems like such a waste. I have no intention of talking to him. The way I see it, the next move is his. He decided to care when he thought he could get money from me and now he can decide to care knowing that I won't..

[perveerest]

Not a failed blog!

It's been a while since my previous entry. That is not to say that this now can be considered a fail. Things can be explained, people do become busy, and I couldn't have been happier.

Almost the day after my previous post my life changed in ways I couldn't have even imagined. Well I left my work experience, literally walked out whilst my 'boss' had gone abroad..

An opportunity presented itself in the form of a temporary position. One that I appreciated so much when it came to me, but one that I couldn't fully appreciate until I gained some more insights and knowledge. I have somehow, through a series of fortunate events, landed what I would consider a 'dream job'.

There have been so many small happy milestone moments in the past few weeks there has been no reason for me to turn to this blog for my complaints.. This is not something I will complain about ever, I'd always choose to be living the happier life with no/ little blog rather than just having a blog..

I'm going to leave this one on a good note for the first time. Having lived the life of a student and then someone who was unemployed and then one who was working for nothing, it's safe to say that I wasn't a great spender. Now that I have an income of sorts, I constantly amaze myself whenever I can even get myself a treat because it's such a foreign concept to me! :)

[perveerest]

More about work experience

Where does one draw the line? Alone again in the office. Something my boss really ought not to do. I'm not meant to be here unsupervised. Anyway, he's not going to be here for a while, that's something I just have to get used to. However, his clients are now all turning to me. The anger they have that their questions are being left unanswered or worse, that they're talking to me (who they are beginning to realise doesn't know anything about them nor their problems), who is useless. That's okay to a certain point, I take their messages and offer them a false hope of returned calls and answers. In the end it's not up to me to answer their queries and call them back, that's outside of what I'm allowed to do. Frustration builds as they spend hours waiting for call backs. Finally giving up the game, breaking, calling me once again. I can't pass their calls on, so they turn on me. Angry, bitter, and sometimes just rude. 'Why didn't you call me back?' 'I've been waiting all day!' 'Don't you know this is important?' Some people get so angry I fear they're going to make an office appearance. I think one of the worst ones though, was being told that I'm not good at my job. He thought I should have the power to get my boss to call him. Right.. So, where to draw the line? It's not like I'm getting paid to take this abuse from any of these people. I've not been left any number to get in touch with boss. In a pathetic way, I was self proud that he thought I was even capable of running the office by myself. Realistically though, I'm just being abused. He's gone on holiday and needed some idiot to take the calls, the abuse and to sit bored in his office.

[perveerest]

Struggles of work experience

This is the beginning of my career and instantly I'm stuck in the cycle of needing work experience to get a job without being employed due to lack of experience. Finally, I have broken the cycle and I'm getting work experience and I can begin applying to other jobs, paying jobs. I have begun to reflect on the experience I am gaining. Turns out I literally only have the name of the company to add to my resume, I don't do anything particularly noteworthy. In fact, I spend hours doing nothing because my boss goes out. It's actually against the contract he signed when he said he would take me on for work experience. At this point I should clarify, I am very grateful that he has given me this opportunity, it is something real to add to my resume. However, I'm not learning anything or gaining any new skills as such. I went to the shops to get him lunch.. I wasn't expecting to be challenged yet still I am surprised by this whole experience. Under appreciated, overseen and unpaid. I know I am here to be gaining 'experience' but I feel as though I am not. I have to stick it out though for that good reference, that is the only thing that keeps me here.