Petite Poule Rouge: Pâtissière @petitepoulerouge - Tumblr Blog

I saw some weird ass conspiracy video thing today of like 'we were never meant to have access to yeast, that was cultivated in a lab and it harms us' bullshit and I was like well first off there's no such thing as 'meant to' and second of all um? the long history of acquiring yeast from beer foam stretching so far back ??????

moniquill

....you can acquire yeast FROM THE AIR.

If you want to make sourdough started from scratch, the process is 'mix water, flour, and maybe sugar if you've got it, then WHIP IN AS MUCH AIR AS YOU CAN' and let it sit. And this works. Because there's yeast there. In the air.

turtlesandfrogs

Not only is there yeast in the air, it's on a bunch of fruits, too. Ever rubbed a blueberry, plum, or grape, and it was slightly darker underneath? That thin film is wild yeasts. There is also yeasts that live on human skin (and not just pathogenic ones!). We are never without yeasts.

supreme-leader-stoat

knighthawkchapter

You do not have access to yeast; yeast has access to you.

#figures the baking sideblog would rise from the dead via yeastposting #yeastposting #no bread only pain #I am professionally employed as a baker again #but jeezo peets they finally did it: got me making bread full time #boulangerie

tik-tok-ify-the-tumblbeast

wrenchinator-central

Chocolate guy has learned how to make corrugated cardboard. he is a powerful eldritch being who cannot be contained. The only reason we seem to be alive is because his interests are exclusively in the making of delicious lifelike desserts.

bunjywunjy

PACKING TAPE?? fucking PACKING TAPE??

#this guy man #amaury guichon

dduane

Possibly the Kingdoms' favorite bread: a simple pan-regional accompaniment to all kinds of meals and snacks

Two kinds: the basic crisp thin oatcake, and a baking-powder raised variant.

#I may have to play with this #where I come from slightly sweet oatcakes are THEE cookie of Folks With Taste #the fancy coffee shop sometimes does them half chocolate dipped like a black and white cookie #and I use my great grandmas recipe for those #but I have not had an unsweetened oatcake #Will report back when I get around to it

depsidase

sunshineandlyrics

New fear unlocked for Masterchef contestants:

When the Chocolate Guy (Amaury Guichon) sets the challenge!

prismatic-bell

ALMOST SIX HOURS FOR THIS CHALLENGE

Just for the record, the longest amount of time I have ever seen given on Masterchef was two hours. During which you had to complete multiple dishes, and come up with an entire menu basically off the top of your head.

They just got FIVE HOURS AND 45 MINUTES, WITH A RECIPE AND PRESELECTED INGREDIENTS.

FOR ONE ITEM.

Like I know everyone on this site is like “chocolate guy is a genius!” but I feel like you really need to know what an insane amount of time this is for Masterchef, and also that I have never seen them actually provide A RECIPE before*, to really grok just how technically brilliant this is.

*okay, I stopped watching for the most part around season five and then skipped around a couple seasons. Still. That’s a pretty decent chunk of time to say “they just don’t do this.”

#amaury guichon #so I once(once) briefly considered taking a summer set of masterclasses with chocolate guy #and by briefly I mean someone asked me if I was interested in doing it #and I immediately had a nervous breakdown and said I didn’t think I could handle it #i mean LOOK AT THAT THING #incredible honestly that is art

konzaprairieunofficial

Oh y’all a very good baking idea came to me last night and I couldn’t fall asleep because I was thinking about it

konzaprairieunofficial

Preliminary sketch and logistics

konzaprairieunofficial

Meringues in the oven now, curd is made, sponges made, graham cracker crust made, just the Swiss meringue buttercream left. Gay cake gay cake gay cake gay cake gay cake gay

konzaprairieunofficial

The gay is happening

konzaprairieunofficial

Gay cake is happening. It’s happening.

konzaprairieunofficial

Almost done

konzaprairieunofficial

Okay, she’s done. The gayke is done. I decided to not add the extra meringue rainbows I made and I nixed the sprinkles around the sides idea. I like it more simple on the outside. Can’t wait to cut inside and see how my rainbow layers look lol

konzaprairieunofficial

Cheers, queers!

#gay cake gay cake

serafaina

OK. OKAY. YOU GUYS.

I am LOVING the fucking chocolate guy’s netflix show! It’s FANTASTIC! Anf hold on to your fucking boots y’all cause it’s actually not what I was expecting at all!

Do you miss the gentleness of the Great British Bake-Off? THIS SHOW IS SO KIND AND GENTLE! For fuck’s sake, NO ONE GETS KICKED OFF! No. No, Listen to this! When they lose the first challenge (a pastry one), the punishment is… They get private lessons with Amaury to help improve what brought their scores down instead of competing in the second chocolate challenge.

When the one black lady contestant messed up the first challenge I was super bummed and like, OF COURSE. But NO. She got lessons! She struggled! she worked hard! and she won a later challenge! GROWTH MY DUDES! They are there TO LEARN and GROW and Maybe Win a Big Prize!

They ALL get to stay and keep doing their best! and at the end the one who did the best overall is the one who gets the money prize!

Look at this lovely line up! they make COOL LOOKING FANCY THINGS! Amaury tells us how he does some of the fancy things he does! They OFFER TO HELP EACH OTHER WHEN THEY FINISH EARLY AND GET PROPS FOR THAT! (not taunted for not using their own time better). The set up even kinda makes the one who is like, I’m in it to win it, is the villain and doing bad. The rest who are like, I’m here to learn and grow and maybe make friends! AUGH YOU GUYS!

Amaury is soft spoken and kind, and has a pretty voice and a pretty smile and that’s nice to watch too. The chefs are talented and artistic and they actually give the THE TIME to make nice things! It’s not “Wham out some half-assed garbage in 2 hours so we can shotgun the production and laugh at your garbage” like most cooking shows nowadays. NO! 14 hour challenges! They’re still hard, but they get to actually make cool stuff! fancy stuff! Stuff I want to look at and cheer for them!

The episodes average 38 min and aren’t a huge time commitment, the first episode being the longest one, and there are only 8 total so it’s not like you have to really get in for the long haul. \

WATCH IT! Pump it! we need more cooking shows like this and less that are sad and mean!

#to watch #i hatemost cooking shows because they stress me out #I have legit trauma from the brief period of my life where I was in a baking competition #the competition itself would have been stressful but fine #but when you lined it up with a physical trauma and one of the worst emotional months of my entire life #it was like a nightmare #sorry for the tag novel #anyway this sounds good #the school of chocolate #amaury guichon

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE