Personal headcanon that I know is not canon but I'll give up on it only when I'm DEAD.
Kafka can cook really well. Like- Mina burns down kitchens just by existing there, and Kafka can make Gordon Ramsey cry from how good his food is or smth XD It's all about ✨️balance✨️
He honestly gives off mama's boy vibes. He'd watch his mom cook and he would help her out, ask her a bunch of questions about all the dishes she'd make. At some point, he'd start making simple things, and then it would all spiral on from that point.
He would probably bring cookies he made himself to school and give them out to classmates. And for that, they would think he's the coolest and worship the ground he walks on.
Mina would obviously be his test subject as he started out. She'd give him her honest opinion and tell him what he should change. Little did she know she would create a monster.
I think we all can agree that Kafka is hot and in his college days, he'd feel a little adventurous (after all, he needed to get his insane dad lore from somewhere XD ). And we all know that the way to a person's heart is through their stomach. His godly cooking skills would absolutely get him biches- lol
I think cooking is one of his love languages. He loves watching people he cares about enjoy his food. He's happy that he could brighten their day at least a little bit with what he made. He remembers everyone's preferences, if someone's allergic to something, people's favorite foods and snacks.
And then he fails to join the defense force, and Mina leaves him behind. And he spirals into depression. He had no strength or want to make food himself. There was no one to cook for.
But after he meets Reno and joins the defense force, Kafka's want to cook returns. He wants to show his gratitude this way.
Someone absolutely cried when they tried Kafka’s food for the first time. Kafka makes small cute lunch boxes for Hoshina and Mina.
After Narumi found out about that, he tried to convince Kafka to join the 1st division. He failed spectacularly.
(I thought I was gonna die in the process of making this meme. WHY IS FINDING THOSE FACE PICTURES SO HARD????? Also I had to make it look somewhat presentable... it still looks shitty. Good.)
So I can't decide between: A) Nobody knows that Hoshikafmina are together. Like- ppl know that they're close but nothing about them screamed that they were together. Somehow no one ever really thought about that, and it never came up during conversations. And just in general, I think they prefer to keep their relationship under wraps and they don't want to mix it with work and tbh they have a lot of shite to do so they don't exactly have much time to spend together so no one really noticed anything.
Until one day, Reno spots them cuddling or smth and has a fucking breakdown because WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?! SINCE- SINCE WHEN?!!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!? KAFKA WOULD'VE TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT???????????????
And after that, all hell breaks loose lol
And B) Everyone knows. Like how Hoshina is a lot more touchy with Kafka or how he's a lot more relaxed around him and how Kafka makes him laugh. Or how Kafka always tries to show off for Mina and tries to do his best any time, and Mina is always looking at him with a fond expression. Or how Hoshina would literally do ANYTHING for Mina without hesitation. If she asks him, it's done. And nothing can stop him. Not even laws. Not that she'll ever ask him to do something like that.
And I think they don't mind being affectionate around ppl. Obviously, it's nothing grand or too scandalous, but it makes their relationship crystal clear. And no one even bats an eye because it's normal. Like- how you never question your parents. It's just a fact. Like how the sky is blue, we breathe air, and Hoshikafmina are together.
Both. Both is good but ahavakmwjdhdbskah what would fit more lmao
Hello! I hope you're having a good time, whatever time of day/night it's for ya
But anyway- May I introduce you to...
✨️Eldritch horrors Kafmina✨️
And btw !Manga spoilers when I'll be talking abt Kafka! You were warned!
It all started with: awwwww, what if Mina was secretly an angel?
...
A biblically accurate angel?
(That would be so hot-)
And off I go, spiraling abt how she'd look and what would the lore behind her be...
The problem is... I've got the design... but the LORE D_:
Like- I could do the whole: Oh she's here bcs it's God's wish and blah blah blah but... Idk I REALLY don't feel like it. It kinda... doesn't fit w KN8 I'm sorry.
I feel like she would technically be more of a flipping alien than an angel LMAO
Just your average eldritch horror drifting through space that saw our mud ball called Earth and decided: Ah. These little things look interesting. I wonder how it would feel to be one of them.
Or smth like that. I really need ideas lol
(and tbh, KN8 didn't really give Mina much lore or personality or anything to work with besides being Kafka's childhood best friend :_( My girl deserves better)
So- Mina has 3 states. Her biblically accurate angel state, her human state, and the mix of human and angel. Her angel state would look like smth like this:
Shocking. I know.
Also, the images are just the general idea and not the actual way she'd look XD If I could draw, my life would've been waaaaaaaaaay easier lol.
(BTW NONE OF THE IMAGES I USE ARE MINE! IF I FIND THE ORIGINAL AUTHORS I'LL MENTION THEM! PLS DON'T BURN ME AT THE STAKE LIKE A WITCH XD but I made the memes at the end myself <3 so proud of myself lol)
Her human state is just- her in KN8 and nothing else.
And her mixed state, and the thing that started this whole spiral is inspired by this awesome fella:
Ahem- so basically, Mina looks exactly like this, the same color scheme, but make her chest a little bigger,
add these head wings and eyes (The more eyes, the better :] There's never enough eyes one can have >:] ), make her freakishly tall, make the proportions inhumanly long, and make her more terrifying. Not in the eldritch-horror-so-awful-it's-beyond-human-understanding way but in a... less extreme way??? Just a bit less extreme though lol. Idk how to explain that
Annnnnd you've got eldritch horror/biblically accurate angel Mina :D God I'm so glad I came up w this idea it's so sick
And now we move on to Kafka :DDDD
Soooo uhhhhhhh idk what to call him as an eldritch horror... The kaiju king? No, that's too basic... Meireki Daikaiju? Nope- that's just wrong... Abyss Daikaiju????????
Idkkkkkk.... pls help... :_(((
So the lore is: What if the tiny larva kaiju, I'll just call Tiny for short, instead of just- hanging out for who-knows-how-long waiting for Kafka to appear, it took on the Meireki era Daikaiju on it's own. How? Now hear me out-
So we all know- cough everyone who read manga cough- that Tiny was formed out of souls of the dead people and their anger. What if Tiny just- kept collecting souls? And w time, they would only grow stronger w more souls and anger. Untill it was strong enough to at least try to defeat it.
Oh and the Meireki Daikaiju didn't merge w no. 9 so the plot would still happen.
Tiny tore into the Daikaiju and their battle began. It was long and gruesome, with Tiny trying to consume it from inside-out. And in the end, Tiny won. In... some way...
Tiny and Meireki merged. They were now one. The souls and their anger were enough to suppress the Daikaiju, but it wasn't fully under control. But at the same time, its endless thirst for destruction lessened and it became somewhat docile now that the souls permanently became a part of it.
And the war was over with no one truly winning or losing. The only question left was: what's next?
While Tiny and Meireki were now one, that didn't mean they didn't have fights over control or choices, in fact, the war was never truly over, it just meant that it became less violent and because of a different thing.
The dead souls wanted a second chance at life, and they managed to get it. They collected a new soul that was pure, not a warrior filled with anger that died on a battlefield, but a child that didn't make it during birth. And that kid was Kafka. So he became a part of this hive mind and was the one making choices and living his life. So basically, he was both just a kid and an eldritch horror that existed for ages.
Kafka's eldritch horror design is just a mix of KN8, The void entity from Hollow Knight, and the Meireki era Daikaiju:
And that’s it. All I have to say. What do u want me to say????? It... really doesn't have a single stable form bcs it's constantly shifting so it's like a void that doesn't have an actual shape and it's always changing. And a LOT of eyes. I don't have a problem with eyes. Totally.
Ah. Yes. Perfect balance. Ying and yang. Light and darkness. Perfect opposites that are meant to complete eachother.
Now to the fun part! Their interactions!!!! >:DDD
When they first met... well it wasn't the smoothest first meeting... why?
Well, let's just say they were like feral cats hissing and yelling at eachother to try and establish their territory and to scare off the other so they'd leave. Just in a... eldritch abomination way. But they didn't actually fight.
It was Kafka who approached Mina first. And I think he taught Mina how to shape-shift bcs unlike him, she didn't have any need for that before and really struggled w it. But she has easier time staying in a single form, while Kafka would shift constantly and struggle to stay consistent. His eye color would change all the time, his facial features always were different every time. Sometimes, he'd have more eyes or more fingers than necessary, and he'd have a hard time keeping his dark tendrils in check and they'd show up randomly. (Kafka never understood how humans lived with only 4 limbs)
But that was only during their "childhood" (when they first became "human")
As they grew up, they were in perfect control and no one suspected a thing. (And yes, their parents were perfectly aware that their children are not normal at all)
Honestly, I think their relationship would stay mostly the same but with some eldritch horrors shenanigans as they learn to be human. Kafka has a bit more experience as he is made out of dead human souls, but they are from an ancient era, and they don't have much to offer. And Kafka has emotions and understands what they are when Mina didn't even have that concept when she first arrived, but she learned from Kafka.
I think Mina would get attached to Kafka bcs he taught her a lot and helped her through that hard period of adjusting to this new and confusing world. And I think instead of making a promise of joining the defense force together and seeing who is cooler, they'd make a promise to stay together no matter what. Or smth like that idkkkkkkkk :_<
But I think they'd still want to join the JAKDF in this au. Both of them don't want to watch humans die in fear because of kaijus, and they have all the strength to fight them. It's in Mina's nature to protect, it's like an instinct. The Daikaiju in Kafka doesn't really care, but the souls want to fight so others wouldn't suffer the way they did.
And, like in canon, Kafka didn't make it into the defense force and Mina was there on her own for a long time. But tbh for them it wasn't really long bcs at this point, they existed for decades. But still, Mina was disappointed because Kafka could've easily passed the exam and yet... what stopped him? (Idk myself I can't think this throughhhhh ueueueueueueueue :_( )
Kafka's powers are: well... he's basically capable of doing ANYTHING a kaiju can. And some more. idk man, he's op
Mina is basically a goddess w light powers lmao. Light shields, ability to blast someone w the concentrated power of 100 suns, sending physics to hell and saying "fuck gravity", reality manipulation blah blah blah she's op like Kafka blah blah blah shut up I'm having fun lol
Your honor, they're in love. They're very wholesome even though they're two entities capable of accidentally destroying earth by sneezing. They're just cute like that <333333333333 I love to think how two eldritch horrors would cuddle and how the f-ck they make it work. They just do. :3
Now... the Hoshikafmina part.
Hoshina is just a guy. A normal human. And he must have world-ending levels of rizz if he managed to bag TWO eldritch horrors XDDDDDDDD
Ahem- I'm kidding lmao
I didn't think much through besides Mina being in her mixed state and gently holding Hoshina in both of her hands bcs compared to her, he's tiny and easily fits in her hands and she loves it.
Mina and Kafka totally don't fight, like competitive higher beings that they are, over who gets to hold Hoshina.
Hoshina is the second person ever to know that Mina is not human, Kafka is the first one obviously :p
Also, Mina totally once accidentally scared the living shit out of Narumi. Out of curiosity he wanted to look at her with his kaiju eyes, and saw a blinding bright light and a lot of eyes and some weird unexplainable shite and wings at one moment, and the other it's gone and nothing is wrong, but Mina was staring at him judgementally.
Kafka did jumpscare Narumi. Because Kafka can't exactly hide the fact that he's literally an ancient Daikaiju and a bunch of dead souls mixed together. So Narumi could easily see through Kafka w his eyes and then regret it severely bcs he saw an eldritch horror, and as the saying goes: If you stare into the void, the void stares back.
That's it folks! Thanks for coming to my TED talk and reading through this long-ass post. I really appreciate it!!!!!! If you have any ideas or thoughts feel free to share!!!! I'd love to read them :>
Kafka: Hey Hoshina- *Gets punched in the stomach* AOUGHHHH- WHAT THE FUK-
Hoshina: You are one of my very best friends, and I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too "young", you're too beautiful!
Kafka: what the fu-k are you talking about?
Hoshina: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now
Kafka: I'M NOT PREGNANT?!?!
Hoshina: Well, not after that punch you're not.
Kafka: I was never pregnant, Hoshina!
Hoshina: Oh. Are you sure?
Kafka: YES I'M SURE!
Kikoru: I'm sorry- but why the FU-K is everybody yelling over here?!
Hoshina: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test- *holds up a clearly fake pregnancy test*
Kikoru: *Without hesitation decks Kafka in the guts*
"This Is My Emergency Contact" Trend but with Kafhoshi
First shot is Hoshina chilling on a bench somewhere that is clearly a museum and is downing a slurpi before the camera pans over to Kafka who is autism-ing the fuck out so hard over a Kaiju exhibit that he's managed to capture the attention of an entire middle school field trip group, their teachers/chaperones, and the fucking tour guide.
The implication is made very clear that this was unintentional and that he didn't mean to derail some poor school's field trip, but everyone is so patiently listening to this man, who is dressing in full dad gear btw (Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, socks in sandles) and is animatedly talking about what is clearly a special interest to him to the point that the tour guide is taking notes on their phone as he's talking, that they've just decided to let this conversation run its course.
The teachers later say that they've never had a class stand so still and listen all the way through before.
You could take this a step further and say that this is a version of Kafka that has the samurai talking in his head so they're all giving him insider information on the battle itself and the tour guide comes up later asking if he's some professor on the subject and Hoshia has to try to not burst out laughing when Kafka says that he's just really into past battles against the Kaiju with a straight face.
