emperorbrn:
the tension in his posture lessens , still there’s a feeling of uncertainty that coils inside him at seeing the other . life has not been kind ; while li jun understands pressure and grief , he can’t help his biting hesitance to keep his walls down — he doesn’t want to be hurt again , but he doesn’t want to hurt amen , either . love should be healing , he thinks as he stares quietly . he clears his throat as if to drag himself from his thoughts , and flashes a small smile . “ i guess you’re right , ” he finally replies and his voice betrays his previous act of composure .
if he’s honest , he’s thought about what he wants to say for an agonizing amount of time . yet here he is now , feeling like that child who couldn’t properly express his emotions . there’s so much and so little all at once . so , he doesn’t dig into dissecting anything , yet . he puts on a smile again , unaware of when the first faded into his air of neutrality . this time it’s more confident , like it usually is . “ we should go inside . ” it’s painfully not what he wants to begin with , though with their circumstances , it’s easier in private . everything always is . “ i think we … deserve some time to catch up . ” there’s a light trace of hope in his words then as he observes amen’s expression carefully . “ don’t you ? ”
Even though it had only been a year since they had last seen each other, it felt longer. It felt like a hundred years. And he felt worse since the last time he had texted him. Saying that he couldn’t see him again. It hurt him more than anything. But when he saw his face now, he wanted to hold him, to tell him that he didn’t want to lose him again. But how could he when he hurt him?
But the smile brought reassurance to him and the question made his heart stop for a second. Amenhotep didn’t answer, except he grabbed the male’s wrist and pulled him into the room. Without even so much as a word, the Pharaoh brought Li Jun into a deep kiss. Pushing his former lover up against the now-closed “door.
“I missed you. I missed you. Please forgive me.”
He begged against his lips.
