i have seen this post on my dash 7 times now and every time i think more loudly, 'this is what Batman villain The Penguin's dialogue sounds like when they let him be fun to watch.'
I've decided to share my headcanons (things that haven't been confirmed canon, but haven't been disproved either, and I have evidence for them so it feels like they're more like theories but I'm probably gonna use them in fanfics if/when I write one and some of them are not that serious, i just found them funny) for Private (TPOM), most of these are based on canon or semicanon stuff. (The Episodes/Movies/Specials which I got the idea/evidence from are in these brackets)
WARNING- YAP SESSION BELLOW THE CUT
1) Low-Key Genius, but keeps it on the downlow- he knows the secret ingredient for a love potion (Madly Madagascar- Valentine's day special), he somehow knows exactly what is needed to make an antidote for the super ray (Mort Unbound- tpom episode), he made makeshift TNT with nothing but candy (When The Chips Are Down- tpom episode) and he built an entire mech suit (Untouchable- tpom episode) with lots of tech stuff and it hasn't turned evil, so far better than whatever Kowalski makes, however it did get dismantled by wasps (Siege the day-tpom episode)😕, also there was a commentary where the movie!penguins' VAs were discussing over the 1st movie and Private referred to himself as "the codes guy" and Skipper told him not to brag or something similar, I can't find that commentary right now but I remember watching it and saving it in a youtube playlist, but it's since been privated or it's not available in my country ig (Commentary On YouTube by The Movie!Penguins, which may or may not be hidden in your country)
2) Bipolar- this one is purely based on the comment Cupid made- "We want to be bipolar" (Merry Madagascar special), but it also fits him weirdly well, however I am not a psychologist/therapist or anyone who has studied this particular subject so I can't exactly provide commentary
3) Forced Personality- [now I just wanna clarify that this isn't character bashing, he's my fave] He usually forces his personality into a one dimensional box, when he's Private, he's cute, when he's Mr.Tux, he's charming, he mostly does this to avoid getting backlash from the other characters,"You sure shattered my dreams","I like all my men one-dimensional" (Mr.Tux- tpom episode), also he got stabbed by Skipper for quoting Shakespeare (Operation Break-Speare- tpom episode) and sure, the sword was fake but Skipper didn't know that when he stabbed my boy [that was metaphorical, I'm younger than Private, who's canonically 20 in the show]
4) Hates Manfredi & Jonson- You expect me to think he tried to smother both of them after 'hearing only the first half [of the order]' (Maurice at Peace- tpom episode), mind you he has disobeyed orders before- multiple times "Private, slap yourself!", "No!" (Cute-Astrophe- tpom episode), "No Sweets", Private then proceeds to sneak sweets to recon (Skorca!- tpom episode), and he has questioned orders a lot more (Truth Ache- tpom episode), don't you think he would've doubted the order or asked for clarification or something? Cause the way I see it, he tried to murder 2 of his teammates on the base of an order which he didn't think twice about, he thought the whole team was on-board, so clearly there's one conclusion- he hated them and thought the team hated them too.
5) Every Time He Curses, The Universe Breaks- "In the event of a water emergency, place the vest over your head, then kiss your *pop* goodbye" (Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa), the universe censors him in unconventional ways, sometimes the safety vest pops, other times lightning strikes- it depends on the swear word, and the world doesn't like when he swears, that's why Private swearing can have the most disastrous of consequences, and he will be using that as a weapon in the future and maybe destroy the world in the process
6) Guilt-Related Hallucinations- he has had those in at least 2 instances, 1st- when he thinks he killed Mort, where he hallucinates Mort's ghost (The Penguins Stays In The Picture- tpom episode), and when he thinks he doomed his friends [although that's more of an auditory hallucination but same difference] (Private and the Winky Factory)
7) Anxiety- he sleep walks in one episode for a few seconds, until he bumps into Kowalski which wakes him and prompts him to yeet his sleeping mask [yes I still use yeet, sue me] which can be a sign of stress or anxiety (Invention Intervention- tpom episode)
8) Lots Of Exes- "Mr.Tux left nothing but a trail of broken hearts and shattered dreams" (Mr.Tux- tpom episode), I swear there's more to that quote and I'm gonna make it up [why do you think I gave him so many exes during tpom ship week 2026?]
9) Gambler, Alcoholic, ect- there are no hints to him being an alcoholic but I like to give him more problems [DRINK RESPONSIBLY], we already know the story Private gave us, but there has to be more to his backstory, if it was just a friendly competition at mini golf, The Amarillo Kid wouldn't have set the base to explode, also we saw that King Julien was gonna lose everything to The Amarillo Kid, so clearly this is more than just a game of skill, it's taking a risk with your money [I DO NOT CONDONE GAMBLING, IT'S A BAD ADDICTION, I AM JUST SPECULATING A FICTIONAL CHARACTER'S BACKSTORY, WHICH MAY INCLUDE BAD HABITS], and clearly it was a game that was deciding who wins or loses it all, and after Mr.Tux left no one was willing to bet on anything with the Amarillo Kid, he was almost out of everything he owns and without anyone else wanting to take a chance so that The Kid could win some more things, so he needed to find Tux again, ...but where and how? (Mr.Tux- tpom episode), later The Amarillo Kid comes seeking help, people finally decided to play the games of skill with him, but he lost, and now two brothers want to take his armor and use it as a guacamole bowl, alas those are the risks of gambling [DON'T GAMBLE, I SAY AGAIN, GAMBLING IS VERY BAD], (Showdown on Fairway 18- tpom episode)
That's all I have for now, I'll see later if I have more ideas
Disclaimer for anyone not familiar with what I write, since I've been in this fandom for 10+ and grew up with the show, not the movie, so I follow show canon. Which means if I'm not shipping Rico with Julien, then he's absolutely being shipped with Kowalski. If that makes you uncomfortable, maybe skip this one.
“Please tell me at least one of them knows,” Marlene begged no longer able to stay silent about the obvious pining that had been unfolding in front of them for the last hour. It had been cute at first, seeing Rico stare at Kowalski with heart eyes every time he thought the man wasn’t looking or paying attention. But it had become fascinating when Rico got up and Marlene caught Kowalski watching the other man with some degree of longing. Since then, it had become downright painful to see them steal glances and practically melt into each other’s spaces as the night went on.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
You can also find it below
“Please tell me at least one of them knows,” Marlene begged no longer able to stay silent about the obvious pining that had been unfolding in front of them for the last hour. It had been cute at first, seeing Rico stare at Kowalski with heart eyes every time he thought the man wasn’t looking or paying attention. But it had become fascinating when Rico got up and Marlene caught Kowalski watching the other man with some degree of longing. Since then, it had become downright painful to see them steal glances and practically melt into each other’s spaces as the night went on.
“Nope,” Julien replied as he set a new drink next to her. “You’re more than welcome to join the betting pool.”
“There’s a betting pool?” The idea was tempting, but also how many people were seeing what she was seeing for one to exist. “Just how many people are aware of…that.”
“It’s a hefty pot so just about everyone who has ever seen them together,” Julien leaned against the bar top. “However, I am not allowed to join which is like totally unfair.”
“Because it’s a conflict of interest and you have an advantage.” Skipper cut in glaring at the other man as he rejoined Marlene at the bar.
“Ugh, Rico and I broke up like forever ago. You can’t keep it against me.”
“I can and I will as long as you two are still attached to the hip.”
“Wait, is that why you broke up?” Marlene turned away from where Rico and Kowalski were talking to Roger. “Does he not know?”
“Honestly, there is very little difference between a Rico who fully trusts you and a Rico who is in love with you,” Julien explained. They had both felt the shift in the relationship when mutually slipped out of a romantic love and into a platonic one. It still didn’t stop them from being flirty or touchy with each other, which certainly didn’t help the situation. “But Sky Spirits only know if Rico can tell the difference at first. We’ve had some interesting conversations though, both of us wouldn’t mind taking a drink of that glass of water.”
“Which is exactly why you can’t be in the betting pool.” Skipper tried to block the mental images that followed Julien’s statement. “Honestly, the better question is, does Kowalski even know he’s not straight?”
“How would you know he’s not straight?” Marlene couldn’t help but argue. As painful as it was to watch the two, she couldn’t help but play the devil’s advocate. “I’ve only heard him pine over Doris.”
“There is one straight man on the team and he’s over there.” Skipper inclined his head to the other side of the room where Private was talking to Bada and Bing. “Point is, both of them are completely oblivious, and it’s going to take one of them to nearly die to realize it.”
“I don’t think it has be to that extreme,” Marlene started but her attention has pulled back over to the pair when Kowalski’s laughter filled the air. She turned just in time to see the genius grab onto Rico as he cackled at something that had been said and Marlene was willing to bet that the flush in his face wasn’t just from his drinks. She turned back to Skipper and Julien shaking her head. “Maybe just some more liquor and then lock them in a room together.”
Skipper snorted at the suggestion and then sighed. “Unfortunately, no outside interferences. They have to figure it out for themselves, which is why I’m doubling down on a near-death confession.”
“I’m going to be less pessimistic and say they’ll figure it out between Christmas and New Years.”
“With or without alcohol?” Julien grinned and opened up an app on his phone.
Marlene glanced at the pair once more before deciding. “Alcohol, I’m not that optimistic that they won’t need a nudge. They’re too oblivious.”
Hello hope you’re are okay question:is Skipper Kowalski Rico are actually brothers or not ? Hope you have a good day
Skipper and Kowalski did share military history together, so they have a bit of a brothers-in-arms dynamic that goes further back than the other two. But none of them are familially related, if that's what you're asking.
gummygunk
dailybridgerton
ellievsbear
baratheonpilled
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
