“dying was easy. living was so much harder - that was the most important lesson altan had ever taught her.”
“he hit me and it felt like a kiss”
“take what you want, it said. i’ll hate you for it. but i’ll love you forever. i can’t help but love you. ruin me, ruin us, and i’ll let you.”
“he hurt me and it felt like true love”
“‘you’re so much stronger than i am’ said altan. then he let her go.”
“he used to call me d-n, that stood for deadly nightshade, ‘cause i was filled with poison, but blessed with beauty and rage”
“altan likes to let his hatred fester, likes to incubate it as long as he can.”
“give me all of that ultraviolence”
“fuck altan, fuck his legacy, and fuck his trident.”
“i love you forever, i love you forever”
“she had not always known the shape of him. she had loved a version of him. she idolized him. she adored him, an idea of him, an archetype, a version of him that was invulnerable.”
“‘cause i’m your jazz singer and you’re my cult leader”
“sometimes, fleetingly, the visions became a terrible twisted fantasy where altan was not hurting her. a version where he loved her instead, and his strikes were caresses. but they were fundamentally irreconcilable because altan’s nature was the same as the fire that had devoured him: if he didn’t burn everyone around him, then he wasn’t himself.”
“taught me that loving him was never enough”
