Hopping on this train, I give you the FUCK TROLL by Fucks Per Page Ratio. The answer is definitely not who people think it is
FUCK TROLL (decided by Fucks Per Page, as opposed to total fucks in the comic)
Eridan - 8.2 fpp (82 fucks over 10 pages)
Eridan comes in at THREE TIMES the next highest FPP ratio. If Eridan had as many pages as Karkat, He would have 2,665 fucks, which is more than Homestuck has overall.
Runner Ups (None of whom come even close)
Gamzee - 2.76 fpp (268 fucks over 97 pages)
Karkat - 1.72 fpp (559 fucks over 325 pages)
Caliborn - 1.37 fpp (208 fucks over 151 pages
Sollux - 1.23 fpp (74 fucks over 60 pages)
Dave - 1.02 fpp (494 fucks over 482 pages)
Dirk - 0. 68 fpp (184 fucks over 272 pages)
Meenah - 0.55 fpp (117 fucks over 214 pages)
Roxy - 0.40 fpp (144 fucks over 358 pages)
Vriska - 0.33 fpp (126 fucks over 386 pages)
John – 0.07 fpp (54 fucks over 764 pages)
Jake - 0.12 fpp (41 fucks over 330 pages)
Terezi - 0.11 fpp (39 fucks over 355 pages)
Jane - 0.11 fpp (30 fucks over 271 pages)
Rose - 0.05 fpp (21 fucks over 406 pages)
Jade – 0.02 fpp (7 fucks over 432 pages)
Also a list of characters in order of pagetime, just for shits and giggles, because I had to figure it out to calculate the FPP ratios.
Jade - 324 (Edited for possesion, and pages of ‘discussion’ where she had absolutely 0 text)
About what you’d expect with the Beta kids at the top.. Except that Jade’s page count is super inflated by things like Condesce-possession, and long strips of pages where she’s considered to have dialogue in 15 page long discussions with nothing but an occasional emoticon, or ‘yup’. Taking those out leaves her somewhere down with the ghosts and some of the alpha kids, and I may do an exact count when I have the time.
I also plan on adding Mituna and Erisolsprite to the Fucks Per Page count, out of curiosity, and to see if the addition of Eridan to even a sprite makes the ratio skyrocket.
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