xoxo @phobix - Tumblr Blog

XOXO

Hey there MTV, I'm Doll(face), and welcome to my crib.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

About me:

I'm an adult with a BA

I'm androgyne (they/them or it/its)

I'm bisexual

and this blog looks so much sexier on desktop.

#this just started as a brainless chatter blog but now it's where I stick my fav posts #a peppering of horny and stupid here n there

loucifersbitch

if you need me, i’ll be sobbing on the floor. humans, man

sailatina3

gawdland

"divorced the wife today. Probably wont get the kids. Drank beer that was 300 caIs. Gonna go yell at minorities on facebook."

#oldmanblogging #this is an old man blog #this is what makes us old men #the big lebowski #hell is a middle aged man #male testeria #man interrupted #humbert #nickleback #im just a man

calellon

unfortunately i could never be nonchalant because i am not well in the head and also my soul is on fire

hppjmxrgosg

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

#this feels like my That's Not My Neighbor breakup recipe piece

redstonedust

sticks my finger in the barrel of your gun so it backfires on you looney toons style but the gun moaned and now none of us know what genre we're in.

galaxywarp

obsessed w this fucking tweet

snarp

Only when global IP law is fairly reformed will audiences be able to experience my challenging cinematic masterpiece, Spiderman 0: He's Not In This. Where you go into the theater and it screens a randomly-selected entry from the database of all films in existence that never mention or depict Spiderman in any form. We literally can't even build the database until we fix the legal situation, I fucking checked.