"I would speak for eternity if you asked it of me"

"Life is too long and too hard not to let fiction allow us an escape from it at times." - N Sewell 30s, she/her (credit for my avatar goes to greyhands.tumblr.com - amazing artist!)

[phoenix-onfire]

I have a 6-hours long overnight trip ahead, so what better thing to do than replay book 3 Nate-route for the millionth time!

It made me want to gush some more about my favourite fictional RO so don't mind me, it's just time for my "let's swoon over N" post.

Heads up: book 3 spoilers! And a long post, with a long list and screenshots (just a few random ones because if i were to add every screenshot I want, it would be never-ending :D)

Specifically, things that made me fall in love even more with N , behind the cut.

So. Many. Kisses!! Impulsive kisses, top-of-the-head kisses, temple kisses, forehead kisses, cheek kisses, nose kisses, hand kisses, palm kisses, knuckle kisses, collarbone kisses, neck kisses, lifting-MC-in-the-air kisses, fairytale kisses, soft kisses, passionate kisses...

Supporting MC and always being there for them, no matter what. Being MC's haven, managing to calm them down with their voice and their embrace. Always knowing when MC needs them close

Countless hugs, strong embraces and cuddles

Doing anything and everything to make MC happy

Staying awake all night just to prepare a picnic for MC - baking the pies themself!! Totally a keeper.

Random footmassage without hesitation - because whatever MC initiates, they reciprocate right away

Drawing a bath for MC and tucking them in...or basically, geuninely caring for them in any capacity

Sexy outfits: summer outfit, combat outfit, dinner party outfit - and he gives the best compliments (either the sweetest or very suggestive)

Wild, horny side, with loads of teasing, innuendos, smugness

True, honest, deep worry for the person they love because they just care so.fucking.much!

Protective, powerful side (first trapper fight, auction scene...goosebumps!)

Ya rouhi. Love confession. In tears!!

Opening up about their past to let MC a little bit closer, despite how clearly painful and difficult this is for them

Vampire talk

Cloud-watching

"I think i did, too."

It's a non-exhaustive list and it may be all over the place, so it was time to cut it short. But feel free to add anything else you can think of 😉

[agentnatesewell]

Some other favorite parts of mine (as i love all of the moments you mentioned!)

Then I would speak for eternity if you asked it of me to then have their conversation broadcasted to everyone in the warehouse because of a technology failure (which makes me wonder, does the warehouse have bluetooth but not wifi?)

This answer to if the detective tells N they think they’re in love with them - just the shock at the confession

The discussion about being there for each other before the Verda dinner. Walking into a conversation that they know will stress them, subjects brought up that they know they will be uncomfortable with, because this matters, it’s important to the detective

That they will fight and undo three hundred years of loss, pain, and grief, worry about being judged to not be the villain in the detective’s love story. That they will work and they are working

Not N route specific but the sense of family and togetherness and setting things aside to be together with breakfast and meal time

That line - about are they even real - is one of my faves as I’ve definitely hc’d it

[phoenix-onfire]

Beautiful examples, I love all of these scenes too!

And you just reminded me of some i wanted to include but there were too many others in my head...

The shocked reaction to the confession you mentioned is my favourite on the research route, which is my canon for Arya. But my favourite love-confession reaction from N is actually on the combat route:

The shock, the desperation, not believing what he's hearing, the tight embrace, the deep and desperate need to be together... Perfection!

Omg how could I forget to mention the "I would speak for eternity" scene when it's literally the title of my page! Especially since Arya was crying before and Nate picked up on it and was ready to be there in a minute and ahh. It's also the perfect continuation of the book 2 "I would fight through any form of technology" scene... N vs. technology results in the most adorable scenes! (Also, if there's no wifi it's definitely because of F :D)

You've put your thoughts so eoquently, i agree with each and every point you mentioned and loved them whole-heartedly. N is simply the best.

One more scene, about their last discussion...This is what Arya says and Nate's reaction is absolutely wonderful:

The worry. The respect. The love. They will be okay.

[phoenix-onfire]

Late night N thoughts again...and ugh I'm so deep in my feels now!

In light of everything that happened in book 3, I was thinking back to some of Sera's old asks and my heart is broken all over again.

In particular, Sera describing N with this gif:

Adding to this, she said that Sia's Dressed in Black would go on N's playlist.

The lyrics, my gosh! It literally made me cry the first time I listened to it thanks to that ask.

Anyway, longer thoughts behind the cut.

This also reminded me of book 2, how the description of the warehouse is different for each RO route. This is N's:

"gentle green-and-red vines sweeping over the broken walls as though trying to soothe the scars of time" -> this, coupled with the broken mask gif, hello? 🥺💔

Oh N, the epitome of are you even real because you're so perfect and incredible that I cannot believe you really exist, for the Detective. Or basically, for anyone who knows them even a tiny bit. Or just meets them. They radiate kindness, gentleness, intelligence, caring... They make people around them want to be better. Needing to be better, just to be a smidgen as good of a person as they are. Their light just shines so incredibly bright.

And yet...

N, this wonderful, beautiful, gentle, precious, caring person...Just utterly broken on the inside. But keeping up appearances for the sake of others. Trying not to burden anyone, helping and protecting everyone, at any cost. They put everyone before them but especially MC. As seen in book 3, N is ready to give everything for them. They would give them them their life.

Despite everything, they are not letting their imperfections and the secrets of their past show because of being afraid of how the Detective would perceive them. Their deepest, most broken parts are still kept hidden behind that mask of perfection. Terrified to let it slip. And that is truly heartbreaking.

While Sia's song speaks of a very, very, very dark and lonely past, it also shows the hope that came with the appearance of the right person. So the light is here for N too already. It's time for them to not only shine their light at others but to be able to let it in, too. To let the Detective cleanse their darkest thoughts. To truly heal and believe they are enough. More than enough. They are worthy and need to let go of their guilt. Soon. I hope.

"Yeah I had locked my heart

I was imprisoned by dark

Life had broken my heart, my spirit

And then you crossed my path

You quelled my fears, you made me laugh

Then you covered my heart in kisses

I was hopeless and broken

You opened the door for me

Yeah I was hiding and you let the light in"

[phoenix-onfire]

Hi!! Sorry to bother you, but I've been seeing your speculations about N's X tier ability and I love the idea of the touch transference! But I noticed in my B2 playthrough just before B3 came out- in the post nightmare scene where the MC goes and finds their RO, MC hears N humming an enthralling tune (I don't remember the exact wording rip 🪦). Idk if it will mean anything other than they have a nice voice, but I haven't heard anyone talking about it. I think it could go well with the touch thing! Almost a siren quality.... and he was at sea.... 🤷🏼‍♀️👀

Apologies for the belated reply but haven't been using Tumblr much during my holiday!

Thank you for the question, I love discussing theories so I'm glad you reached out☺️

Honestly, I had to look up this scene to check the wording because I never thought of it as being significant before:

I assume that at this particular point it was supposed to just mean that N has a beautiful voice, one that attracts the Detective. However, I love your theory, it could definitely go well with N's abilities! It's literally described as being "like siren song"👀

I think it's kind of a "package deal" if that makes sense: N's tier X abilities include touch, voice and likely simply exuding their feelings and being able to influence others like that (at least when N is at their strongest... like thinking back to the mirror scene, we didn't see N touch anyone there (although it could have happened before the carnage started), or during the auction when the crowd simply parted for them without noticing.)

I really loved N's voice being described in the auction scene as "molten gold: liquid smooth", it just showed how powerful they really are and proves that their voice is part of the influence. Remember how even Sera said that "words are their power" - even if it was meant in a different context, it would fit in this sense, too: not only what they say but how they say it.

Also, it comes up so many times during the books when N's charms come into play, the smoothness of their voice is one of their trademark qualities😌

Thank you for this fun ask, would love to hear more theories if you have them😉

[phoenix-onfire]

I have a 6-hours long overnight trip ahead, so what better thing to do than replay book 3 Nate-route for the millionth time!

It made me want to gush some more about my favourite fictional RO so don't mind me, it's just time for my "let's swoon over N" post.

Heads up: book 3 spoilers! And a long post, with a long list and screenshots (just a few random ones because if i were to add every screenshot I want, it would be never-ending :D)

Specifically, things that made me fall in love even more with N , behind the cut.

So. Many. Kisses!! Impulsive kisses, top-of-the-head kisses, temple kisses, forehead kisses, cheek kisses, nose kisses, hand kisses, palm kisses, knuckle kisses, collarbone kisses, neck kisses, lifting-MC-in-the-air kisses, fairytale kisses, soft kisses, passionate kisses...

Supporting MC and always being there for them, no matter what. Being MC's haven, managing to calm them down with their voice and their embrace. Always knowing when MC needs them close

Countless hugs, strong embraces and cuddles

Doing anything and everything to make MC happy

Staying awake all night just to prepare a picnic for MC - baking the pies themself!! Totally a keeper.

Random footmassage without hesitation - because whatever MC initiates, they reciprocate right away

Drawing a bath for MC and tucking them in...or basically, geuninely caring for them in any capacity

Sexy outfits: summer outfit, combat outfit, dinner party outfit - and he gives the best compliments (either the sweetest or very suggestive)

Wild, horny side, with loads of teasing, innuendos, smugness

True, honest, deep worry for the person they love because they just care so.fucking.much!

Protective, powerful side (first trapper fight, auction scene...goosebumps!)

Ya rouhi. Love confession. In tears!!

Opening up about their past to let MC a little bit closer, despite how clearly painful and difficult this is for them

Vampire talk

Cloud-watching

"I think i did, too."

It's a non-exhaustive list and it may be all over the place, so it was time to cut it short. But feel free to add anything else you can think of 😉

[phoenix-onfire]

What pet name did you choose for N?

Babe

Love

Honey

Sugar

Darling

You chose your own (if so, what is it?)

Voting ended onMay 5, 2023

[phoenix-onfire]

I've just been reading the tags and thank you for all the replies, it's a pleasure to see how everyone chose their petname!

Not surprised "Love" is the most popular option from the default ones though👀

And so many of you choosing to call N "My life" (in different languages) is just beautiful ❤️

[serenpedac]

I repeat you

He would think back on that night later. On the moonlight spilling over her, her pale face framed by the soft shadow of her hair. He would remember how she had mapped his face, first with caresses, then with feather-light kisses; memorising it, as he had memorised hers.

The moment, that night had come to an end just like any other, but there was beauty in that, Nate thought. Beauty in the passage of time, in those moments, fleeting and evanescent.

She would have agreed.

Tears ran in hot trails across his skin, while above, stars wheeled through the sky like they had for centuries and would for centuries to come.

Read the full fic here

It's mostly sweet and romantic, I promise

[serenpedac]

It’s been a couple of weeks since the TWC Book 3 release and I’ve been amazed at how talented people in the fandom are. Reading beautifully written fic and insightful character analyses, as well as seeing gorgeous art has been wonderful. Honestly, I’m in awe and just wanted to say thank you for sharing your thoughts and art and writing. Thank all of you <3

[phoenix-onfire]

There's another thing that I can't stop thinking about: the concerns N mentions in their last POV scene when talking with MC's BFF. With each vampire, they bring up a different fear and I find this so interesting! It's making me wonder whether all of them are stemming from the same fact/event in their past or there's more to uncover here (yes I'm clearly betting on the latter 👀)

...and I'm once again wondering if this goes similarly on the other RO routes? Depending on who MC's BFF is, do they worry about different things in their last PoV? Or is it only N?

I'll include the screenshots soon but in summary, N mentions 3 concerns:

1. Not going to be right for MC

2. Becoming the villain in the detective's story

3. Not going to be enough for MC

Now, are these even different worries or am I just overthinking and they are all referring to the same thing? As in, N thinks they could become the villain of MC's story because of what they have done in their past and the potential of losing control and hurting MC again. Which also means that they are afraid they aren't right for MC because they could be dangerous for the detective. And they aren't enough because who would want to spend their life with someone who has done such terrible things in their past.

It may just be me but I don't find this explanation satisfactory enough, their concerns seem to be more complex to me. Their past deeds (#theMassacreOnTheBoat) definitely always come into play but N has a lot of other worries besides that.

They are just so complex and so broken behind that carefully crafted façade! They harbour so much pain and self-loathing!

I think this also has to do with their conflicting feelings about their own vampirism and longing for humanity. They don't think they are good enough for MC, likely having trouble reconciling their immortality and the morality of being a vampire and everything they have done in their past... They miss humanity and maybe they are also afraid they cannot provide MC with the security they need and the happy life they want to give them and it's breaking my heart💔

Especially since to MC, they are everything they could wish for and more. There are many times MC is wondering how someone so perfect could be real...aaaand one of my favourite lines is MC thinking of N as their haven🥺

Anyway, it's time to cut my ramblings short and show the scenes I'm talking about. I loved every dialogue (my canon BFF route is Mason) but I must say, Felix' conversation feels like the most heartbreaking one for me, he truly hit bull's-eye there.

Mason

Adam

Felix

I have so many feels and thoughts on this topic but my post is long enough as is.

As always, any inputs you have are welcome!

[agentnatesewell]

My friend and I were playing together and she picked M bff and I picked A bff and I was delighted to see how different the LI/BFF scenes were. Thank you for providing them all here!

Thoughts behind the cut because they are long - but I do think it is an all encompassing worry plus their relationship with the BFF

In my opinion, I think these are all part of the entire scope of fears that N has with this relationship (the one romantic relationship that was worth going through all of this for - which is part of why that last scene with the detective feels like an attempt at a break up even though it wasn’t). It’s N’s guilt of what they are, it’s their fear of what they will do to keep them from harm/save them, it’s how they worry of the detective’s opinion of them after they find out want they did and what they are capable of (tier x), and then their withering control … they want the detective to be happy and safe and satisfied with them. But they know, they believe Sanja’s reading, and perhaps the closer they get the closer they are to breaking.

(But everyone knows N to be good, to be kind, to be just and fair, and to be safe. Everyone knows what they did, no one judges them for it. Falk didn’t. But they need to have that confidence in themselves. Positive affirmations, please).

As for the BFF - I think it comes down to their relationship with them. A knows N and has known N for 300 years. They know each other so well they can read their facial expressions and body language. When N brings up the stories, A understands, and understands their metaphor. Enough so to give them just the advice that they need - sort of a, please tell me I can do this. I can be the hero.

For M, they needed the objective, blunt advice. Especially seeing how well, how easy M gets along with the detective. Take the feelings out of it a little bit. See the relationship for what it is, something lovely and beautiful. Something worth it.

For F, I especially love N seeking F’s advice. F is empathetic, can understand the emotions. It’s interesting that N says “why would I know that” here. But you see F is the one that can sort of … read the detective here? A reassurance. Where the emotion is taken out of the M discussion, it’s redirected in the F discussion.

Okay! That’s enough of my ramblings! Thank you for a wonderful, thought provoking post!

[phoenix-onfire]

Thank you for putting this into words way better than I could, I think you summarised their scope of fears beautifully. These really seem to be just different facets of their all encompassing worries and I love your take that whichever fear is brought out depends on their relationship with the BFF.

Your analysis of N's relationship with each member of UB is spot on. I especially love the contrast you highlighted between M and F, the emotion being redirected to F's conversation.

Yes, I'm not surprised F is the only one who actually seems to be perfectly aware of the detective's emotions. There's also a line on the non-relationship route where F says they can practically feel what N and the detective feel for each other when they are in the same room🥺 Their enhanced empathy makes them the most equipped for giving advice when it comes to feelings. This dialogue is so beautiful, how they get from light-hearted joking (which F always sprinkles into the conversation) to N's deepest fears.

Because I feel like F is the only one who could coax out N's most paralyzing fear, and the way Mishka described it is the most heartbreaking one out of the 3 dialogues:"The real fear that claws at Nate's heart nearly pierces through his chest."

To me, this seems to be their ultimate fear, not being enough for the detective. Of course they worry about so much more, and are afraid of hurting MC but it really feels like the worry that runs the deepest is the fear of the detective realising that N is not who they think they are.

And it's so heartbreaking to see them struggle this much with all the guilt they've been carrying for literal centuries, especially since like you said, no one is judging them, only N themself. And this fear of losing the detective (in the sense of them rejecting N after they find out their secrets) truly makes them freeze and be unable to open up as much as they deep down are longing to.

I can't wait for the moment we finally get to reassure them, because I know that there is not a single thing N could say that would make my detective see them in a different light. The moment Nate finally feels comfortable and confident enough to open up and share his full self with the detective, Arya is just gonna be over the moon that he trusted her! She will be there for him, support him and she will do everything in her power to help Nate through it.

Ugh okay I think it's time to cut my post short too because otherwise I'll go on forever.

But thank you so much for your wonderfully written analysis, it's such a joy to be able to discuss the layers of N's personality, fears and relationships in depth!

(And also thank you for helping me get the ropes of Tumblr, I'm such a newb that I had no idea about the "readmore", now I do and it's a game changer, with posts as long as I usually write :D)

[phoenix-onfire]

There's another thing that I can't stop thinking about: the concerns N mentions in their last POV scene when talking with MC's BFF. With each vampire, they bring up a different fear and I find this so interesting! It's making me wonder whether all of them are stemming from the same fact/event in their past or there's more to uncover here (yes I'm clearly betting on the latter 👀)

...and I'm once again wondering if this goes similarly on the other RO routes? Depending on who MC's BFF is, do they worry about different things in their last PoV? Or is it only N?

I'll include the screenshots soon but in summary, N mentions 3 concerns:

1. Not going to be right for MC

2. Becoming the villain in the detective's story

3. Not going to be enough for MC

Now, are these even different worries or am I just overthinking and they are all referring to the same thing? As in, N thinks they could become the villain of MC's story because of what they have done in their past and the potential of losing control and hurting MC again. Which also means that they are afraid they aren't right for MC because they could be dangerous for the detective. And they aren't enough because who would want to spend their life with someone who has done such terrible things in their past.

It may just be me but I don't find this explanation satisfactory enough, their concerns seem to be more complex to me. Their past deeds (#theMassacreOnTheBoat) definitely always come into play but N has a lot of other worries besides that.

They are just so complex and so broken behind that carefully crafted façade! They harbour so much pain and self-loathing!

I think this also has to do with their conflicting feelings about their own vampirism and longing for humanity. They don't think they are good enough for MC, likely having trouble reconciling their immortality and the morality of being a vampire and everything they have done in their past... They miss humanity and maybe they are also afraid they cannot provide MC with the security they need and the happy life they want to give them and it's breaking my heart💔

Especially since to MC, they are everything they could wish for and more. There are many times MC is wondering how someone so perfect could be real...aaaand one of my favourite lines is MC thinking of N as their haven🥺

Anyway, it's time to cut my ramblings short and show the scenes I'm talking about. I loved every dialogue (my canon BFF route is Mason) but I must say, Felix' conversation feels like the most heartbreaking one for me, he truly hit bull's-eye there.

Mason

Adam

Felix

I have so many feels and thoughts on this topic but my post is long enough as is.

As always, any inputs you have are welcome!

[phoenix-onfire]

As promised to @mysterioustinyangel here are the screenshots of the RO scene during the "UB vs. Sin" scene on the LT route.

Just for the record: my MC is in a relationship with Nate and this was a Nate-focused run-through of the LT so I'm not sure whether the scene is any different for a different setup!

[phoenix-onfire]

I'm so glad we can get friendship scenes with every member of UB, regardless of whose BFF path we are on! I love these genuine friendship moments with Adam☺️

[phoenix-onfire]

What pet name did you choose for N?

Babe

Love

Honey

Sugar

Darling

You chose your own (if so, what is it?)

Voting ended onMay 5, 2023

[phoenix-onfire]

This scene has been living in my head rent-free, it was such a powerful moment! "I will give you everything I own and more. I would give you my life."🥺

I haven't played the other RO routes yet, so I've been wondering, how does it go for them? Are they all using their unique abilities to get through the crowd? Or does it go similarly?

Because this scene made me think we finally got a glimpse at Nate's tier X abilities. I highlighted some parts: the crowd parting without noticing, placing his hand on the supernatural's shoulder, his tone like molten gold and looking pale afterwards...

...And now I'm back to thinking about the whole Queen's Sabre massacre and how Nate is clearly feeling guilty about his past, yet he was judged as not guilty by Falk. Ugh, how I wish we found out more about his past! I do have my theories but I so want to hear it from him, especially since it's clear how much this is eating him up... He's so afraid to open up to MC!

In any case, I loved seeing Nate's other side in this book! (And I don't mean his horny side now, even though that was a treat too😏) He has always been as careful as possible when fighting their enemies but in book 3, there are plenty of instances where he loses his control because MC is in danger. It's clear how much he's been holding back.

The first time I read the auction scene, I got goosebumps when he showed up, seeing him in such power and control!🔥 And I have a feeling this is still far from his full abilities...

Either way, I would love to hear your thoughts and any inputs about how Adam/Mason/Felix scene looks like!

[allisondraste]

I’ve only played N and F and I will say that N’s navigation through the crowd feels much more like they’re using some sort of Tier X influence where as F is just pushing through the crowd and threatening (very cutely I might add) to throw hands if anyone else dares to raise a paddle. “You’ll seriously regret it.”

I’ve thought for a while that the scene we get from the house of mirrors with N shows us a scene where they have used their powers. The pirates are literally mauling eachother apart seemingly against their own will, and N says they’ve never killed anyone by their own hand. I kinda think they caused that in a fit of rage and despair after what happened to their brother and the rest of the crew of the ship. N fears what they’re capable of and so much of their carefulness is directly related to that.

It’s just a theory but 👀

Here is Felix’s scene just for your curiosity:

[phoenix-onfire]

OMG, thank you so much for the Felix scene!! Comparing the two, now it feels so much more clear that Nate was using his abilities! I just got unsure because I didn't really find anyone mentioning this scene for Nate and I was so excited when he showed up at the auction the way he did... I was afraid I was just overthinking😅

Yes, yes, yes! That's exactly what I was thinking about his power too, that the massacre was caused by him on the ship! He was feeling endless rage against the Admiral and whoever else hurt his brother and most likely also bloodlust as he was just turned...so whatever he felt was pouring out of him and making everyone on the ship tear each other apart. It just fits.

And with the little pieces of backstory we got, I've been wondering if the Admiral was like the Trappers and that's why Nate says he had experience with that type of people, someone who made a deal with the supernatural (i.e. the pirates, who are vampires - or at least one of them is, Nate's sire, not sure about the rest) to supply them with "food" for riches...

I just always found it interesting how Falk still judged him not guilty, even though his judgement works on the basis of whether or not the individual feels guilty. And Nate clearly does. So my theory is either that he was found not guilty because it happened after he turned and he was not in control of his abilities (maybe he is not even completely himself in that state?) or because the people that were killed were all deserving of the death. But I doubt this second option, because the fact that literally everyone on the ship died, it wouldn't be too realistic to think that not one person was innocent. Anyway, enough of my ramblinga :D

I will say though that I think the first instance where it seems like Nate is capable of transfering his emotions to the person he controls (and most likely not intentionally) happens already in book 1. Because every vampire manages to calm Kate down when they are questioning her. But when Nate does it...she doesn't just calm down and continues to reply meekly. There's a clear change in her behaviour and she reacts with a vehemence that I always thought was actually how Nate was feeling, pouring out onto Kate:

And the fact he can control emotions and probably even unwillingly make people's emotions boil over makes perfect sense. (I really liked how @agentnatesewell called it "emotional touch transfer", it just seems to be such a fitting description!) It also would explain why Nate is the only one Rebecca warns not to hurt MC. I remember how surprised I was by that, when we also have Mason...

And why in book 3 during their talk with MC after the blood drive he says he would "never want to hurt" MC, instead of confidently saying he would never hurt them... And why he is so shocked but also grateful during Verda's dinner, if you say you trust him a 100% and know he would never hurt you.

Nate is clearly extremely powerful and with MCs blood, this could turn into unimaginable levels:

Oh I'm just so excited to finally be able to talk about this and putting the pieces together!

So thank you again for your excellent input ☺️

[thecryptidenthusiast]

You’re going to ruin him, because that’s all you know how to do. Because he’ll let you. Clinging too tight to the memory of what was, he’s cutting himself on the broken pieces of you just to keep you close. You’ve told him he’d be better off without you, because he’s never known what’s good for him. And there’s the selfish, cruel part of you that’s glad he’s too stubborn to listen.

You’ll hurt him, and you care. You hate that you do. You hate that it isn’t enough to stop you.

With more confidence then you’d ever have if he could see you, your hands wander. Cup his face between your palms just to feel the scruff of his beard. Bury your fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck just to make him shiver, to hear the soft hum deep in his chest. For these few stolen moments, he’s yours to touch. To explore and memorize like this will be the last time.

Like you deserve something like this.

Wordless, because you don’t trust your own voice, you tug at his shirt until he gets the message. His laugh is almost giddy as he leans back enough to pull it off, and there’s a soft thump as it’s probably tossed to the other side of the room.

Laughing, like he can’t believe he’s got you in his bed again. Would it be a lie if you said you didn’t believe it either? You weren’t sure anymore.

Your hands move again. Trail down, fingers finding scars as easily as you would if you had your sight. Most of them you were there for. Patched him up, or held him together until he could get proper help. Others…

Others, you gave him.

[phoenix-onfire]

You're going to ruin him, because that's all you know how to do. Because he'll let you.

Most of them you were there for (...) Others, you gave him.

Just wow. I could quote more but the beginning and the end were especially strong...

How amazing is this story? Beautiful writing, it gave me all the feels 🥺 I really hope there's more to come!

[phoenix-onfire]

These are the instances I noticed (so far) in book 3 where Nate casually thinks about MC becoming a vampire. And I really love this conflict he has within him, the duality of his feelings: on the one hand, he wants to spend his eternity with MC but on the other, he isn't sure if becoming a vampire should be an option. His desperation of not wanting to lose MC is clear as day but at the same time, whichever option he'd go for, he'd risk exactly that.

1.) MC remains human? Guaranteed death sooner or later, either by old age, or as a result of some fight. Which is basically Nate's biggest fear, not being able to defend and save MC.

2.) Turning MC into a vampire? Would they survive the procedure at all? And if they do...what would that mean in regards to their blood, their effect on the supernatural and would they be safe at all when their life is full of constant danger? Would it really make things any better?

Either way, Nate is just consumed by the fear of losing MC. Coupled with his own guilt and fear of hurting them... I can't wait to see how this conflict will unfold in the next books!

And I love that we could finally scratch the surface of Nate's and MC's feelings about Nate being a vampire while MC is not and have a meaningful, albeit short, discussion about it! So much so, that I had to try every dialogue option here, so if you haven't seen them yet, here you go:

[phoenix-onfire]

This scene has been living in my head rent-free, it was such a powerful moment! "I will give you everything I own and more. I would give you my life."🥺

I haven't played the other RO routes yet, so I've been wondering, how does it go for them? Are they all using their unique abilities to get through the crowd? Or does it go similarly?

Because this scene made me think we finally got a glimpse at Nate's tier X abilities. I highlighted some parts: the crowd parting without noticing, placing his hand on the supernatural's shoulder, his tone like molten gold and looking pale afterwards...

...And now I'm back to thinking about the whole Queen's Sabre massacre and how Nate is clearly feeling guilty about his past, yet he was judged as not guilty by Falk. Ugh, how I wish we found out more about his past! I do have my theories but I so want to hear it from him, especially since it's clear how much this is eating him up... He's so afraid to open up to MC!

In any case, I loved seeing Nate's other side in this book! (And I don't mean his horny side now, even though that was a treat too😏) He has always been as careful as possible when fighting their enemies but in book 3, there are plenty of instances where he loses his control because MC is in danger. It's clear how much he's been holding back.

The first time I read the auction scene, I got goosebumps when he showed up, seeing him in such power and control!🔥 And I have a feeling this is still far from his full abilities...

Either way, I would love to hear your thoughts and any inputs about how Adam/Mason/Felix scene looks like!

[phoenix-onfire]

@mysterioustinyangel I saw your post asking about how the UB fighting Sin scene goes in the other routes, so here's Nate's! (I think only the LI-related part changes, the rest of it is the same as in your route, with the same options to choose from.) Thanks for showing Adam's version!🥹