View My Stats      I'm finally writing fanfic. At unpredictable intervals with varying results. Probably lots of The Witcher (Netflix) and various LOTR and Hobbit stuff.
Iâve gotten a lot of people asking lately, and I know that itâs easy to miss pinned blog posts (especially on mobile) and I do have an AO3, itâs pillage_and_lute or follow this link.Â
Iâve been updating it pretty regularly, so I think the only stuff not on there yet is some of my ask answers
Long time no see! Life has been crazy as life often is, and since The Witcher 3's third dlc was announced I had been itching to replay... so I did! And it made me want to make myself a new phone background. I love Geralt to death.
"witcher fell off when hcav left" "witcher fell off when s2 was dogshit" "witcher fell off when (insert racist bullshit about yen and triss' casting)" WRONG. real witcherheads know netflix witcher was never that good it was just one of the few shows that had dropped right before covid halted every other show from being made for over a year and a lot of very very depressed people saw a funny bard that sings nice and clung to that with a vice grip. even if it meant watching a mid gritty game of thrones baby where he was only in half the episodes of the first season. core part of my personality btw
Geralt's a fake ass homosexual if I had Joey Batey trailing after me for 20 years singing ballads about how amazing I was and tenderly stitching up my wounds after I got my ass kicked and gently washing my hair and was so devoted to me that everyone called him my bard I would've fucked him so hard that his vertebrae would be shooting out of his mouth like a pez dispenser but maybe that's just me.
(For next time youâre looking for prompts) I really like your writing, and when I thought of this I wondered what youâd do with it: Geralt and Jaskier are together, but agree to pretend not to be for their next stop. Maybe one of them wants to win an old bet, or Jaskierâs not 100% sure his betrothal to a local noble has been officially dissolved, whatever, (not homophobia), fluff and high jinx ensue. Anyway I hope something unexpectedly nice happens to you today.
Hi Dahliavandare! Thanks for the blessing in my inbox đ„°
This ran away from me, tons of backstory about Jaskierâs family. Just, way too much.
âGeralt, darling,â Jaskier said hesitantly. âI have an errand we need to run, and Iâm not sure youâll like it.â
Geralt hummed noncommittally. They were resting at their camp outside of Hagge and the warm summer air and the feeling of Jaskier curled against him had lulled him into a warm, fuzzy stupor.
âYou see,â Jaskier continued, fiddling with the buttons at his cuffs. âIâm a noble, and you know that of course.â He laughed awkwardly. âAnd Iâve been lucky enough to pawn most of those responsibilities off onto my much savvier sister, but there are certain niceties that landed families observe that--â
âSpit it out,â Geralt grumbled, although not bad naturedly.Â
âIâm betrothed,â Jaskier said. âAnd we need to go to Gwendeith to break it off.â
Geralt turned to look at his beloved. âYouâre engaged?â
âBetrothed!â Jaskier yelped, then saw Geraltâs expression. âOh, dear heart, thereâs a slight difference in meaning, especially to nobles. Engaged implies an intent to marry--â
âAnd betrothed doesnât?â
âWell, sort of, but Iâve been betrothed practically since I was born, engaged would imply Iâm sort of planning the wedding. Itâs a contract, a social contract. My family and my betrothedâs are pretty minor nobles, so really itâs just a way of saying âmaybe someday our kids could marryâ. It isnât the hard and fast marriage it might be if I were, say, a prince.â
âThen why do it?â Geralt asked. Most of the time he was happy to understand as little of the lives of the gentry as possible, but Jaskier was important.
âHonestly,â Jaskier sighed. âI think Papa arranged it because he cared for me, Mama too.â
âIt takes away your choice,â Geralt began.
âIt doesnât. A betrothal like mine and... Iliana, thatâs her name, only met her twice, itâs sort of social insurance. Especially for her, but for me as well. Nobles are supposed to marry, so, if at some point neither of us had found love we could marry one another. For Iliana thereâs the security of having a husband, although from what Iâve heard she can handle herself fine, and for me its assurance of heirs if that sort of thing concerned me, and companionship for us both.â
It sounded...mostly sort of logical to Geralt.
âBut I love you,â Jaskier said. âAnd I donât want to be betrothed to anyone because I love you and, someday, whenever you get over you allergy to the concept of commitment, Iâm going to put a ring on you.â
Geralt hummed gruffly but said nothing. There was a slim golden band hidden away in his bags and he be damned if Jaskier got to propose first.
âI will. Anyway, I need to tell Iliana. Iâm sure she wonât mind. I met her once when I was seven and again when I was nineteen.â
âNineteen, when?â Geralt asked. Most of Jaskierâs nineteenth year had been spent at Geraltâs side. Most of every year after that too.
âJust before I met you. I had travelled east to meet her originally, and was going back west when we met.â
âTell me about her?â
âIlliana? Oh, well, she told me that she was fine leaving the betrothal in place because itâs standard, but that she doesnât care for men in that way so sheâd never give me heirs and would have my balls nailed above her door if I ever told her she had to.â
âSounds like sheâd get along with Yen.â
âI fear theyâd take over the world,â Jaskier said. âAnyway, I told her no worries since, honestly, heirs just arenât important to me. Then we agreed that when either of us found love weâd break the betrothal and that would be that.â
âHmmm.â
âNo, Geralt, tell me what that means. Is that a âokay, letâs go to Gwendeithâ hum? A âIâm angry that youâre betrothedâ hum?â
Geralt shifted to poke the fire. âItâs a âI think thereâs more you need to tell meâ hum.â
âAh,â Jaskier rubbed the back of his neck. âThatâs the thing. We have to go in person because a letter would be rude, but also...we have to pretend not to be together, while weâre in Gwedeith.â
âWhy?â
âItâs politics, dear heart. It would be shaming to Iliana, socially. Personally, I donât think sheâd care, but itâs a courtesy thing.â
âI donât do a lot of lovey stuff anyway,â Geralt said.Â
âYou think you donât,â Jaskier said. He began to unroll their bedroll.
âWhat do you mean, Jaskier?â
Jaskier turned to him, smiling indulgently and gilded in the firelight. âOur lives have molded around one another, my love. When I stand beside you your hand goes to my back or my shoulder. You order dinner for me because you know just what food I like. When Iâm tired you donât have to ask whatâs wrong, you just lift me onto Roach behind you.â
Geralt hadnât even realized he did, but he knew it was true. Jaskier leaned over and pressed a kiss to Geraltâs slightly furrowed brow.
âWhen my boots are wearing thin you buy me new ones before I even notice. When Iâm cold you give me your cloak. If I fall asleep with my head on your shoulder youâd rather sit like that all night than disturb me.â
Geralt shrugged awkwardly. âYou buy me beeswax,â he said. It seemed a fair retort. Jaskier bought him beeswax to put in his ears when cities or sometimes monsters were too loud for Geraltâs senses. âYou only buy light scents, even though I know you like bolder perfumes.â
âYes,â Jaskier said, taking one of Geraltâs large, scarred hands. âWe love eachother very much, and itâs obvious to people who care to look.â
âThat could be dangerous,â Geralt began, his head spiralling towards worry for Jaskierâs safety, but Jaskier cut him off.
âNo, dear heart. Itâs obvious to those who care to look. The sort of people who would hurt me for loving you, well, most of them think you canât love, so they donât look for love, and they donât see.âÂ
Geralt sat back. People saw what they expected to see, it was true.Â
âWeâll travel to Gwendeith,â he said. âAnd unbetroth you.â
Jaskier kissed him and his lips tasted like the jerky theyâd eaten for supper.
-- -- -- -- -- --
The trip to Gwendeith was long. It was at the very edge of any map, past Posada to the east, tucked into the Blue mountains. They traveled along the Dyfne river, taking the occasional contract but making good time. This far from anything, there were few people to be troubled by monsters.Â
They stopped in Posada one night, eating dinner in the corner of a familiar tavern. This time, however, Jaskier was much better received and the bread ended up on the table rather than down his trousers.
Past Posada, and almost to the end of the Dyfne river, Geralt asked, âWhy did your parents pick Iliana? How did they know of her?â Lettenhove was entirely the other side of the continent, a tiny island off the coast of Poviss with two villages and a couple flocks of sheep.Â
Geralt only knew of it from Jaskierâs descriptions, which were mostly stories of the ice cold sea and rocky cliffs. He tended toward calling it âidyllicâ and âpicturesqueâ altough occassionally âthe arse end of the worldâ and âcolder than an ice giantâs ballsack.â The first time Geralt had taken Jaskier to Kaer Morhen heâd feared for his bardâs safety in the cold of the mountains, but Jaskier hadnât even blinked an eye, merely bundling up in a hugely wooly cloak and mittens.Â
âAh, well,â Jaskier said. âLong story, but Papa was in Temeria, see, since nothing ever happens in Lettenhove, because we have more people than sheep, he getâs sent on diplomatic missions a lot. Heâs good at it, and he can be spared. He loves it too, even though heâs sort of retired he still does them. Takes Ma, calls the trips his little âsunshine vacationsâ.Â
âYou get your personality from your father, then?â Geralt asked. Jaskier didnât talk about his family much, and Geralt got the sense that, rather than this being because they were horrible, Jaskier simply missed them too much.Â
âDefinitely. Maâs lovely, and brilliant with just everything to do with her hands, but sheâs not good with people. I got her looks, though.â
âI should thank her, then,â Geralt said, smiling.Â
Jaskier chuckled. âYes, sheâs the reason for the long lives, too, fantastic story.â
âFinish the one about your father and Gwendeith first.â
âRight, so Papa was in Temeria, and so was Ilianaâs father, sort of the mayor of Gwendeith, as I understand, although not back then. Heâd gotten robbed, though, and Papa had won a horse and quite a lot of gold in a card game. It might have been Gwent, I canât remember. If you ever meet Papa you should ask him. Anyway, he gave the extra horse and gold to Ilianaâs father.â
âSo your betrothal was a debt?â
âGoodness, no. This was years before I was born, Papa hadnât even met Ma yet. No, they struck up a friendship, because when Ilianaâs father got home he had a mage send a message to Papa to thank him and they struck up a friendship.â
âSending messages by mage? Thatâs expensive for a penpal.â
âAh well, that actually ties in to the story about Ma. Maâs got magic, just a little, sheâs a hedge witch of a sort. The issue is, hedge witches mostly use plants, and Ma couldnât grow grass, so she mostly works with wood. Anyway, she has a friend, her very best friend, is a mage. They grew up together, and my Auntie Szarlotta sent my Papaâs first few messages back to Ilianaâs father.â
Geralt smiled atop Roach. Jaskierâs storytelling pace was as familiar as Roachâs saddle, and it was calming in a way.Â
âSo, Auntie was sending Papaâs message when Ma came in to visit. Thatâs how she met Papa, because sheâd only just moved to Lettenhove. Auntie says it was love at first sight, but Papa insists that Ma turned up her nose and ignored him for months.â
âWhich one is it?â
âKnowing Ma, probably both. Sheâs a little like you, so the second she realized she liked Papa she ignored him so she wouldnât have to deal with it.â
Geralt huffed good-naturedly.
âAnyway, Auntie Szarlotta agreed to send Papaâs messages for free, and she even included a way for Ilianaâs father to send them back, so long as he wrote his response on the back of the same paper. She always timed it though, so that Ma was over when Papa was there. And I guess the rest is history.â
âExcept the immortality.â
âRight, well, Ma got really sick when she was pregnant with my sister, I was little so I barely remember but Papa was so worried, and Ma looked really pale. Well, Auntie got really worried, freaked out a little, and she found all these old spells to try to make Ma well again. I remeber the light, she was working in a room of the old lighthouse and I could see the light of her spells from my window. Anyway, eventually she tries some on Ma, but they donât work, and she just keeps trying.â
Geralt had an image of a frantic sorceress being watched by a young Jaskier through a crack in a door.Â
âBut I suppose some of those old spells need a little time to work because nothing at all worked and then they all sort of worked at once. There was this big, bright light and then Ma was well, and she and Papa havenât aged a day since then.â
Geralt glanced at his lover, who looked the same at fifty as he had at twenty. âAnd you donât age? What about your sister?â
âKsenia hasnât aged either. She looks like Papa, just so you know, grey eyes, blonde hair. Sheâs got two kids, now, but I havenât met them.â
âDo the kids age?â
âRight now theyâre very young,â Jaskier said. âI didnât stop aging until nineteen or twenty, so I suppose weâll have to wait and see.â
âHow do you know she has kids?â
âOh, well, Auntie Szarlotta sends letters to me, but we travel and itâs hard to send them right to me, so I just pick them up at Oxenfurt.â
âHmmm,â Geralt said. He needed to go to Lettenhove. Jaskier had met his sort-of-family, he should meet Jaskierâs.Â
âIâd love to go see them...â Jaskier said, wistfully.Â
âWho?â
âMy niece and nephew, theyâre almost two and three years old now.â
Geralt picked Jaskier up by the collar of his doublet and placed him onto the back of Roach.Â
âWeâll spend the winter in Lettenhove this year,â he said as Jaskier wrapped his arms around Geraltâs waist.
âReally?â
âHmmm.â
Geralt needed to ask Jaskierâs father for his hand in marriage, anyway.
-- -- -- -- -- --Â
They made it to Gwendeith just after mid summer, riding into the little town at noon. Despite the season, the little mountain valley was shaded and cool. Jaskier shivered slightly and Geralt had to resist the urge to pull his cloak from his pack. From that point forth, they werenât supposed to be in love.
Fuck.
They had to request a meeting with the mayor, which didnât surprise Geralt. In a town such as this, logging and mining were the main industries. Trading for food to last over the winter began early and was of the utmost importance. That left Geralt and Jaskier, unfortunately, sitting with a man who introduced himself as Sir Boris.
Apparently he was a retired knight who acted as a sort of captain of the guard, except there wasnât much of a guard. His wife Lady Olenka joined them and the two of them talked about their grandchildren until Geralt could feel his eyes rolling back in his head.Â
At any other time, Jaskier would have placed one gentle hand on his wrist, which would have fortified Geralt, but they couldnât.Â
âBut youâre here for Iliana,â Sir Boris was saying. âDreadfully sorry you canât see her today, Iâm afraid thereâs been an issue with the lumber trade to sort out. Youâll just have to have my darling Lenka and I as company until thatâs done.â
He sent a huge wink to his wife, a slim, elegant woman, who chuckled and playfully hit him on the shoulder, to which Sir Boris pretended to be wounded before throwing back his head and laughing hugely. Everything the old knight did was huge, he was a large man with a round, red face and large belly and a laugh that could shake walls.Â
âItâs no trouble,â Jaskier said. âIâm sure preparing for winter is a year round project here.â
âOh of course,â Lady Olenka said. âBut once itâs here we can all relax, and spend time with family.â She leaned forward as if imparting a delightful secret and said in a stage-whisper, âBoris has been our townâs Father Winter for the last four years.â
Jaskier made impressed âoohâ noises and Geralt tried to at least look like he understood that.Â
Boris laughed again. âItâs this lot,â he said, slapping his round stomach. âBetter than some old geezer with a pillow down his shirt, eh?â
Geralt hummed in agreement.Â
âAnd you must make a lovely Mother Winter, Lady Olenka,â Jaskier said politely.
She smiled, lines crinkling around her eyes as if drawing a road map. âItâs not as important as Father Winter, of course, but I rather pride myself that I plan a very good Midwinter festival.â Geralt got the sense that behind the modesty she was quite proud, and, he suspected, with good reason.
âBut, you must tell me,â she said, modestly changing the subject. âIs there to be a missus Pankratz, now that youâve come to see Lady Iliana?â
âI am a man in love,â Jaskier said. âAnd I am hopeful that an engagement will come soon, yes.â
âOh dearie thatâs just lovely,â Lady Olenka said, patting Jaskierâs cheek. âAnd youâre such a nice boy too, little young looking to be betrothed to our Lady Iliana anyway, although sheâs a very dear woman.â
âWe just love her,â Sir Boris said. âSheâs a great mayor, not keen on marriage, but nobody minds, she just seems to have adopted the whole town as family.â
Lady Olenka patted her husbandâs broad shoulder. âIt was smart of you not to bring your love here, though. Thereâs some nobles here from Lyria, thatâs who sheâs been trading with, and I think theyâd like any excuse to disparage here.â She lowered her voice again. âYou know how those lot are about having women in charge.â
âI canât relate,â Sir Boris laughed. âLenkaâs the ruler in our house.â That got a laugh because it had to, and because Sir Borisâs laugh was surprisingly infectious.Â
âGood on you bringing a bodyguard too,â he said once the laughter had abated. He slapped Geralt companionably on the back, which was like being hit by a friendly battering ram. âWitcher too, donât get many up here, but I bet youâre the safest man in a hundred miles.â
âOh, dear, donât you know?â Lady Olenka said. âLord Julian here is a bard as well, he goes by Jaskier and sings all about witchers.â
âReally?â Sir Boris said, looking at Jaskier. âBlimey, imagine that. Good on you, finding a niche in the market.â
Geraltâs ears were beginning to ache. Friendly though Sir Boris might be, he didnât seem to have a volume level below âdeafeningâ. He was tired and overwrought and he just wanted to cuddle up with Jaskier in a bed. It wasnât even suppertime, though.
They sat through another hour of hearing about Boris and Olenkaâs eighteen grandchildren.Â
âAnd three great-grandchildren,â Boris added proudly.
Geralt was thankful Jaskier could carry the conversation. He longed for a kiss, though. Now that he knew he couldnât have one, his lips fairly ached for one.
Supper was a large affair, with one of Boris and Olenkaâs childrenâs family over for dinner as well. Geralt was seated across from Jaskier between two small children who, apparently, needed to be separated at dinertimes to prevent bickering. They contented themselves instead by asking Geralt every question they could think of, often making him wrack his brain for child appropriate answers.
It wasnât just witchering questions, either. He answered such questions as âWhy is the sky blue?â (Because itâs Meliteleâs favorite color). Immediately before answering âHow big are dragon scales?â (The small ones are like pebbles and the big ones are like shields.)
Jaskier smiled at him over his bowl of stew, eyes sparkling. Geralt loved children, and Jaskier loved seeing them adore Geralt.
âSo, Lord Julian,â Boris and Olenkaâs daughter began. âYour lady love, tell us about her?â She smiled Lady Olenkaâs warm smile and Jaskier did a good show of seeming bashful.Â
âMy love is unlike any other,â he began. âAnd if youâll pardon my saying so, Iâm a poet, and so must wax poetic.â
âWouldnât settle for anything less, lad!â Boris bellowed cheefully.
âMy darling has fair hair, like moonlight,â Jaskier said, and the table oohed appreciatively. Geralt felt his ears get hot.
âAnd eyes like summer,â the bard continued. âI could get lost in them. No eyes could compare.â Geralt kicked him under the table, but Olenka was sighing sympathetically.
âBut of course,â Jaskier said slyly, my heart is best held by my loveâs lips.â
Boris chuckled knowingly. âIâll bet it is, my boy,â he said, winking. Olenka slapped his arm, but she was smiling. Geralt felt hot.
âIâm afraid, however that my lover is quite modest, and wonât appreciate me extolling too many virtues,â Jaskier finished. âSo I must finish with, I love them very much, and it is for them alone that my heart beats.â
Therewith leaving every person at the table (those above the age of twelve, at least) with misty eyes, Jaskier helped Lady Olenka clean up supper. Geralt helped put the dishes away.
After dinner they were led back to the mayorâs house. âIâm afraid the negotiations donât seem to be finished,â Lady Olenka said. âI had hoped they would be quick, but it seems not. If the issue wasnât resolved today, I wouldnât bet on them being resolved too early tomorrow, either. You two donât have pressing business elsewhere?â
âNo, my lady,â Jaskier said, although if they lingered too long they wouldnât make it to Lettenhove for the winter, as it was, it would be close.
âIâm sure sheâll be able to see you soon,â the lady said. âHereâs your room, and Master Witcher, your room is just at the far end of the hall.â
She said goodnight and Geralt hoped she couldnât see the slump of his shoulders.
Separate rooms.
Jaskier smiled ruefully at him and they parted for the night. Geraltâs bed was large and comfortable, with clean linens and feather pillows, but he barely got a wink of sleep.
-- -- -- -- -- --
The next morning found Jaskier and Geralt breakfasting in the tavern, owned, apparently, by another of Boris and Olenkaâs grown children.
âDid you sleep well?â Jaskier whispered over a plate of sausage and eggs.
âFine,â Geralt grunted.
âI couldnât sleep a wink,â Jaskier said. âWant my last piece of bacon? Iâm stuffed.â
Geralt took it gratefully, slipping Jaskier his fried slice as a trade. No matter how Jaskier protested that he was stuffed, he always had room for a fried slice.â
âTerrible woman,â said a nasal voice at the next table. âJust impossible to do business with.â
âI agree, overemotional, you know how they get,â agreed another voice. Jaskier made eye contact with Geralt. The accent was Lyrian.
âNot even married,â said the first speaker. âWhat a disgrace. If my daughter got to her age without children Iâd just die of shame.â
Geralt pitied his daughter.
âOh of course,â said the second man. âAttractive, though, for an old maid.â
The first man snickered cruelly. âThinking a little wooing might soften her up?â
âIt always does, women like that, theyâre just angry because they havenât found a man.â
âWonât your wife mind?â
âAre you going to tell her?â Both men laughed unpleasantly.
A serving girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen, came around the tables, presumably one of Sir Borisâ many granddaughters. She took their plates onto a tray and smiled when Jaskier slipped a few coins onto the tray as a tip.
At the next table one of the Lyrianâs snapped their fingers impatiently. The girl rolled her eyes. Geralt was pleased to see that, although she served him professionally, as she walked away she âaccidentallyâ tread on his foot.
âWhat pathetic pieces of shit, the pair of them,â Jaskier said as they stepped out into the sunlight.Â
âHmmm,â Geralt agreed. Then he looked around quickly and pulled Jaskier into an alleyway, urging the bard deeper into the shadows.Â
âWhat? Geralt di-â
Geralt smushed his lips gracelessly to Jaskierâs, crowding him up against the wall. Jaskierâs hair between his fingers was so familiar and comforting, as was the little sigh Jaskier let out.
They pulled apart and Geralt rested his forehead against Jaskierâs. âThatâll tide me over for a while,â he whispered. Jaskier smiled.
âAre you master Julian?â
The pair sprang apart, looking in alarm at the red headed boy at the far end of the alley.Â
âYes...?â Jaskier said.
âOnly, Pa said to come find you, and he said youâd be with a big man dressed all in black.â
âAnd you found us here?â Jaskier asked.
âDidnât know youâd be here, did I?â Said the boy, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets. âItâs the shortcut through to the tavern, but then, I figured heâs the only big man in black around.â
Geralt inclined his head, feeling his ears go hot.
âLady Iliana has time to see you now,â the boy continued, oblivious to the awkwardness.Â
âBy all means...lead the way,â said Jaskier.
They were led out of the alley and back to the mayorâs house by the messenger boy.
âOut of curiosity,â Jaskier asked. âIs your grandad Sir Boris?âÂ
âYeah, thatâs him,â said the lad. âHe made me a toy sword for my tenth birthday too.â He pointed proudly to the wooden sword tied at his hip with some string.
âIt makes you look a proper hero,â Jaskier said. Then he pulled out his coin purse. âA copper for bringing us the message and...another to not tell anyone what you saw.â
The boy looked between the two of them shrewdly.
âNot even my best friend? I tell Mikhail everything.â
âNot until Geralt and I have left.â
âThree coppers total,â the boy said promptly. Jaskier handed them over good naturedly and the boy flashed a gap toothed grin before taking off.
Geralt and Jaskier shrugged at each other, before finding their way to the main room of the mayorâs house. A broad shouldered woman of about fifty poked her head out of a door.
âJulian?â
Geralt and Jaskier went inside.
âYou look well,â Iliana said, sitting behind a large desk and gesturing to a couple chairs. âYou haventâ aged a day.â
âAnd you look as lovely as I remember,â Jaskier said.
âFlirt. Come to ask me for heirs?â
Jaskier shuddered. âNo, my lady. I remember your threat well. I think you know why Iâm here.â
The two Lyrians barged through the door.Â
âDid I ask you to enter?â Iliana said, coldly. Geralt felt an unusual curl of fear set up in his stomach, she was a distinctly fearsome woman.
âWell,â said the first Lyrian.
âYou were so beautiful, I couldnât wait on seeing you again,â said the second, slimily.
âOh I say!,â Iliana said, standing. She placed her hand over her chest in a delicately offended way, which was ill suited to her. âYou sir are too bold, and in front of my betrothed too!â
The Lyrians looked, panicked, at the people sat in the chairs. As Geralt was seated in the chair nearest the door, and therefore nearest them, they came to the wrong conclusion. The blood drained from both their faces.
âWhat an insult!â Iliana continued. âYou should be ashamed! What a lack of diplomacy!âÂ
Beside Geralt, Jaskier snickered. She was laying it on a little thick.Â
âWhy,â she continued. âI ought to write to your king! Iâve never been so insulted. And Iâm sure my beloved will want to sort out this insult too.â She fluttered her lashes at Geralt.Â
Geralt nearly jumped out of his seat, but thankfully his brain caught up. He stood, growling a little theatrically and placed one hand on the hilt of his steel sword.
âOur apologies my lady,â the first man said hurriedly.
âOur mistake, weâll just--â they dissappeared out the door.
âWhat a fearsome couple,â Geralt heard whispered as the door swung shut.
Iliana sighed satisfactedly and kicked her feet up on her desk. âIt seems I should thank you,â she said. âThat is going to make negotiations much easier.â
âIâm sure you always get good deals,â Jaskier said.
âYes. I get the deals I want.â
âYou know why Iâm here,â Jaskier said.
âYes.â
âDo you agree?â
âTo disolve the betrothal? Of course. Never found a lover for myself so I never bothered but, well, I just donât do romance.â
âSome people donât,â Geralt said, thinking of Eskel.â
âIndeed,â Iliana said, smiling warmly at him. âNot all of us have a soulmate to sing us songs.â She laughed at their surprised faces.Â
âOh you fooled them, and you may have fooled Boris and Olenka, but Iâve heard your songs, Julian. Itâs written right into everything you do.â
She began rummaging in one of the drawers in the desk. âI donât mind, of course. So few people know weâre actually betrothed...there it is.â She pulled out an old piece of paper. âIâll just rip it up if thatâs fine by you. Youâll have to do the same to yours of course.â
âWeâre going to Lettenhove this winter,â Jaskier said. âIâll do it as soon as I find it.â
Iliana smiled again. âFather always did say that your dad had a horrible filing system.â
âHe filed all his papers on the floor, yes, although I imagine my sister is neater.â
Iliana tore the paper in half without ceremony and placed the contract in the waste paper bin. âLettenhove is very far away, Julian, will you get there in time?â
Jaskier glanced at Geralt.Â
âI donât know,â Geralt said.
âNo matter,â said Iliana. She began writing something on a new sheet of paper. âOur logging teams float lumber all down the Dyfne and Pontar rivers. Show this to the dockmaster at the tip of the Dyfne and our riverboat captains can get you to Novigrad.âÂ
She pulled out another sheet of paper. âOnce youâre in Novigrad, show this to the harbormaster and heâll get you to Lettenhove.â She looked at their shocked faces and smiled. âOur lumber is the best, and itâs used in everything, including ships. Iâm willing to cash in a favor in order to get rid of a useless betrothal.â
âThank you, my lady,â Jaskier said bowing deeply. âIâll have my Aunt Szarlotta send a message once our betrothal is fully extant.â
Iliana stood and shook his hand. âIâd appreciate that.â
âOur fathers were penpals,â Jaskier said. âPerhaps we should keep up the tradition?âÂ
The mayor inclined her head. âIâd like that. I may be too busy to write often.â
Jaskier waved a hand. âI can only pick up messages when I pass through Oxenfurt, but I like to make friends with powerful people.âÂ
The two of them shared a smile.
âNot to rush you out my door,â Iliana said. âBut I do have a lot to do, winter comes early up here, and I know it does as well in Lettenhove. even with my help, you two should leave soon.â
Geralt and Jaskier left that afternoon, just after a hearty meal at the tavern.
-- -- -- -- -- --
Across the continent and some weeks later, Jaskier and Geralt stepped onto the docks in Novigrad.
âI donât think Roach liked the river boats,â Jaskier said as Geralt led her off. Roach whinnied and shook her mane emphatically.
âSorry, girl,â Geralt said. âYouâll have another long boat journey, and this time I doubt weâll stop so you can run about on land.â
âNah,â Jaskier said, as they walked toward a tavern for supper. âBoats from Novigrad to Lettenhove stop around the coast on the way, sheâll get plenty of exercise. Itâs something to do with the currents.â
He petted Roachâs muzzle softly as they stabled her at the inn beside the tavern and Geralt felt his heart go out to his bard. Jaskier cared so much for Roach. Geralt thought again of the gold band in his pack.
âCâmon,â he said. âLetâs eat.â
-- -- -- -- -- --
Slightly more than a month later, after a slow, coastal boat journey, and then another between Inis Porhoest and Lettenhove, Geralt, Jaskier, and their faithful horse, stepped off the final boat.
âWelcome home, Master Julian,â said a fisherman on the dock.
âDoes everyone here know you?â Geralt asked.
âPretty much, thereâs only about three hundred people here.â
News spread fast among three hundred people and Jaskier and Geralt were greeted enthusiastically at the door to the very small castle. A blonde woman who could only be Ksenia, Jaskierâs sister, flung her arms around him, and withing a moment Geralt was being gathered into the hug by a slightly older looking couple.
âJulek,â said the blonde man, pulling back. âMy boy, youâre home, and you brought this stunning man, wow, what a looker.âÂ
âPapa, donât be embarrassing,â Jaskier said. Geralt flushed clear to the roots of his hair. Apparently when Jaskier said he had his fatherâs personality he meant all of his fatherâs personality.
They had dinner as a family, including Jaskierâs niece and nephew, Cecylia and Prot. They had questions for Geralt, and he was grateful for the practice heâd had in Gwendeith. It was an enjoyable meal over all, and afterward Jaskier was distracted by his Aunt Szarlotta while Geralt slipped away to ask Mr. Pankratz a very important question.
The two of them returned to the main hall to see Jaskier pretending to be a dragon, while Cecylia and Prot bravely fought him with butterknives, but he straightened up when he saw the look on Geraltâs face.
Geralt took his hand and Jaskier squeezed it three times, it was their code, asking if Geralt needed to go somewhere that wasnât so hard on his senses. Geralt smiled and shook his head, swallowing nervously around the lump in his throat.
He got down on one knee and pulled out the gold band. âIâm...Iâm not good with words.â Geralt swallowed again, wishing he could borrow Jaskierâs eloquence for five minutes or so. âMarry me?â
The words were barely out from his mouth before Jaskier was tackling him to the ground, pressing kisses all over his face.
âOh Geralt!â he said. âWait--â
Jaskier looked up at his mother, who smiled and was handed a paper by his Aunt Szarlotta. Mrs. Pankratz ripped the betrothal contract in half.
âYes,â Jaskier said, laughing. âI will marry you!â
Then they kissed on the chilly stone floor.
-- -- -- -- -- --
Dear Lady Iliana, Mayor of Gwendeith
The former contract has been voided.Â
Szarlotta of Lettenhove
P.S. Geralt and Jaskier are engaged and send their love.
If you do not like the change that was just made. Send a support ticket and comment on the post and then
Crucially
You should log out of tumblr
We all should
Take a break for a couple of days
Make them see a DRASTIC DIP IN ACTIVITY
Because that more than anything else is going to make them realize this is a bad idea.
Edit to note: you can come back to check if theyâve rolled it back of course but I recommend not *doing* anything. Donât post new art or reblog memes. Make tumblr a ghost town for ~2-3 days
why does this have 32k notes? itâs just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. itâs just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain