whenever i need someone to talk to theres never anyone around

if i look back, i am lost
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whenever i need someone to talk to theres never anyone around
when you have money to invest in vacations, hot tubs, and fancy dinners but none to invest in your child's future.
people always told me to dream smaller, or maybe just not quite so big. they didnt expect much from me, and i expected everything from me. i am an independant person, i have learned that my parents nor anyone else will carry me through life. though i am grateful for the help that i recieve, ultimately i am my own responsobility. my actions and my path in life depend on me and my decisions. my reality is the only one i will ever know in this life, and what can be imagined can be achieved. my dreams can become reality if i so will them into existence. i am not giving up. i will manifest my future by the decisions i make in my present. i cannot be broken only transformed into a stained glass kaleidscope of wisdom, i am here to learn. i am here to evolve. to become. be better everyday than i was the last. and i will be the greatest version of myself. i am an artist, i will be a master.
is there no middleground? but just an endless series of dramatic highs and lows.
there is only so much sympathy one will have with mental illness they feel pity and sorrow for me but they cannot feel what i feel cannot fathom my private agony my lonely despair they become frustrated because they cannot understand
what a luxury it must be to have control of one's emotions and not just one's facade.
i dont have the eyes for symmetry i can appreciate it but not express it asymmetrical is me abstract picasso faces and mixed emotions
whatever you managed to do today; it was enough
whatever you manage to do tomorrow; it will be enough
whatever part you play in this world; you are enough
"As Intimate as Brushstrokes" by Josee Demboski
my mother is lilith not eve
i want to be a great artist and writer but for now i am just a burden to bear a thorn in your side a pebble in your shoe but i promise one day i will be great
we used to talk about how high we were in terms of distances “where are you at?” “milwaukee, how bout you?” “oh im right where i want to be.”
"Demons&Angels" by Josee Demboski
"Jeffrey's Smoke Sesh" by Josee Demboski
"Sitting with Intention" by Josee Demboski