I don’t know where else to post this without sounding like a clueless jackass, because my other socials I have people I know irl on them and I don’t want them to be offended or think I’m stupid.
Last month I decided to rejoin Facebook so I could reconnect with old friends and some people I went to school with. All the funkiness aside with how Facebook handles things, I was able to find most people I was looking for and reconnect thus far.
One friend of mine, I made back in 2006, at age 11 when we started middle school. She came from a big family and her, her sisters, and her mother were very sweet people. I didn’t hang out with her outside of school a lot because a few of them had physical and mental health issues that needed care more often than not. But I did go over once in a while for a short visit. My mom and I would also give them my clothes that I couldn’t fit into anymore since they had a lot of young girls in the family. This aside, I only saw her at school.
We graduated in 2013 but I didn’t recall seeing her at the high school I went to. I don’t know if she went to another school, was out due to illness, or if she was being kept out of school for a different reason. Either way, I saw her sister but not her.
I went to find her on Facebook and noticed she had moved to another state at some point and thankfully got away from a bad situation. But I scrolled just a bit, and that’s when I saw that she had passed away in 2014. I had no clue about her passing because we had no contact in the few years prior. I did find out the cause of death but it’s not something I’m going to share.
I wish I knew sooner. I wish I didn’t delete my first Facebook account around that time. I wish we were closer. I spent 12 years without knowing.
I don’t feel betrayed by her sisters or anyone else in her family because I wasn’t close to them like I was with her. I don’t blame them. I just feel… awful.
I’ve been through the death of pets. The death of my mom. I went to school with people who are now dead. But never a friend. Not until now. It feels sour.
I went on living my life for 12 years and every once in a while, I’d think about her and wonder how she was, what she was up to, if she was okay…
I think about her a lot. I always missed her and wanted to reconnect with her. I did not want to find out any of this, this way.
I know she’ll never see this but, V, I miss you and I love you. Thank you for being my friend. Rest easy. ❤️
