it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon
why aren't we doing this?
you 𫵠you can join the breeding project.
Jules of Nature

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Today's Document
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Not today Justin

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@pinkribs
it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon
why aren't we doing this?
you 𫵠you can join the breeding project.
wish lion's mane jellyfish would stop doing that
doing what?
i was going to say doing THAT
but apparently this photo is fake which is an enormous burst of relief to my already fragile, suddering psyche.
sadly though THIS photo of a barrel jellfish is real
donāt like that
Yeah sure that photo is fake, but what ISN'T fake is the fact that the largest lion's mane jellyfish found was about 36 meters long. The average blue whale is about 25 meters long btw.
Here if you'd like to see it:
we DO NOT TALK ABOUT TENTACLE LENGTH that is VERBOTEN
damn, the girth on those tendrils tho
WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT TENTACLE GIRTH
Idk what the fuck yall talken about but I see jellyfish and by god do I love dem on bread.
Some of my favorite jellyfish (sorry if I go on a tanget and vear off jellyfish)
are the Stygiomedusa gigantea, which I believe is also called the blanket jellyfish, but like dude look up a video of it moving it is chilling and fantastic! This thing is 10 meters long, so not the largest here, but ohohoho look at my love
It is a deep sea jellyfish and is one of the largest invertebrate predators known. However, according to Cambridge, it has been consistently recorded in the twilight and sunlight depth zones down south so do with that what you will :)
If we want to keep going down the large and length category of ocean creatures, allow me to introduce the current longest recorded ocean animal. A deep sea siphonophore that clocks in at around 46 meters; my beautiful death halo
Technically siphonophores are hundreds upon hundreds of tinier organisms that grouped together to make a bigger one, but for all intents and purposes, this is one animal. Some of them are incredibly beautiful!
However there is also ones not so pretty, main one was something I saw a month or so ago and it looked like someone had fused like a dozen human limbs together and they were flailing to move and jesus christ yall can go mentally scar yourselves.
Man I canāt find a good picture but Deepsea Oddities has a really good video on them (and on other ocean related things⦠mostly deep sea)
Oh hey, I drew a siphonophore mermaid awhile back, or as I like to call her (them?) a siphonosiren.
Woman murders man in broad daylight
beautiful like to reblog ratio on this
That's because people are reblogging it every time they see it. Like I'm doing right now lmao
woo i am such a fan of dramatic plants. just prissy fucking plantlife, be it unreasonable or implacable or ostentatious. plants, man
u know what yeah, letās talk about weird nonsense plants
1. Living Stones
these plants imitate rocks. who does that?
imagine deciding to straight up evolve into rocks as a defense mechanism. i had a whole rant planned but now iām remembering that i have, in the past, on multiple occasions, daydreamed about being a rock. like that has been a recurring theme in my rich inner fantasy life. i would not forsake the opportunity to evolve into a stone.
2.Ā Hookerās Lips
ostentatious. flamboyant. vulgar. garish. randy. dare i say whorish? yes. this plant is whorish.
pucker up you hussy
3. Hoya Hearts
overused trope. lacks subtlety and creativity. truly, they just went with the first thought to pop in their head, no brainstorming involved. āho ho ho iām just gonna grow into a fucking HEART, thatāll show em!ā Needy & basic bitch. looks cute on a desk
4. Lifesaver Plants
manages to be both psychedelic andĀ disapproving. reminiscent of a prudish great auntābut like, one who did a lot of LSD in the 70s. evidence of an alien lifeform who crash landed and then decided, fuck it, iām gonna rent a one-story in the midwest and decorate it with vintage wood paneling & floral upholstery. probably smells like stale weed and glass ashtrays
5. Happy Alien Flowers
yes that is their NAME. sort of anticlimactic, but take a gander:
they are absolute sluts for drama, as demonstrated by the little hussies pictured above are YELLING AT ME. they bring to mind seagulls engaged in a Shakespearean blood feud. this flowers have committed aggravated manslaughter and probably got away with it too.
6. Bat PlantĀ
aka Catās Whiskers aka Devil Flower. how fucking emo is that??? this plant listens to mcr and is probably the gay cousin. they never got the hang of eyeliner but that doesnāt stop them from trying, bless em. their impetuous devil-may-care persona is hindered by their crippling social anxiety. iām immensely fond of this plant. theyāll come into their own once they graduate and move away from college, but in the mean time they sit with the tech crew at lunch. you go little Bat Plant!Ā
Ā 7.Ā Dancing Plants
total band kids. also called Semaphore Plants, bc they look like theyāre trying to flag down a plane. nifty fuckersĀ
in conclusion, three cheers for whiny, namby-pamby, scatterbrained plantlife
so youāll reblog THIS and my Non-ComprehensiveĀ List of Cursed Bird That Piss Me Off,Ā butĀ Whimsical Creatures Failing To Tempt Me Into The Ocean is where tumblr draws the line huh
I am absolutely delighted to show you this orchid the āNaked Manā. Itās an orchid native to the Mediterranean and it looks like a lil dude with a tiny penis
PROPORTIONALLY SPEAKING
If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.
Oh hey! Havenāt seen this in forever! Didnāt reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.
Gonna make one hundred soups this year. Starting off with kapustnyak, carrot soup, chickpea soup, and parsnip soup.
4% complete.
8% complete baybeee. This may end up being a long post. Hope you like the colour of the soup.
Can't stop won't stop. 15 soups so far.
Slowed down for a minute because vet bills ate up my grocery budget but made it to 20%, baybEEEE.
Whoops I slowed down but BAM, 25%. I'm gonna make a comeback baybeeEEEE.
I AM BECOMING SO POWERFUL
Four new BEAN BASED SOUPS, the first one trailblazing because it was a taco soup recipe courtesy of @alex-of-1000-dumbasseries. 61 IN THE BAG, 39 TO GO.
I am also linking my soup planning doc because I can, and it's easier than tagging all of them individually.
Have I lost all my followers yet? NOT YET. Time for more soups. I'm up to 70 now.
OP this is a gorgeous post and Iām so proud of you
Thank you, I will take these codfish words to my grave. Also, I have achieved 8 more, putting me at 77 soups. How is 70 plus 9 photos 77? I'm glad you asked.
Earlier, I forgot to include a photo of my cock-a-leekie-soup (#57) - pictured above as the first one of this set - and also I MADE TARATOR TWICE by accident so I've struck one from the record since I'm trying to make 100 soups here, not 99 and one twice.
A new bowl approaches. Bought myself some soup bowls from the 70s with goofy little geese on them for my own birthday (though I did not get them in time for my miyeok-guk), because what else is free will for. This puts me at 86. I JUST MIGHT MAKE IT? SOMEHOW?
A COLOURFUL BATCH featuring another Certified Tumblr Soup because people kept recommending Yeto's Soup, and they were right.
How am I at 92? ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN A QUITTER.
100/100!
STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!
OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?
Snapshot - photographer reader x bf yugyeom. established relationship. implied smut and some flirting. mdni, 18+, mildly nsfw if you squint.
Hairstyle
Got7 x reader A/N: I am so obsessed with Yugyeom's AOMG era. He burned those damn skinny jeans the moment he left JYP. If there's a song for this fanfiction- it would be Hey daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher. (Someone please get Yugyeom a girlfriend š«) Word count: 2485 Warnings: None just some fluff ______ You turned off your phone with a pout, still frustrated that Yugyeom hadnāt responded to your texts. You checked the time zoneā2 AM in Germany, and here you were in Japan, wide awake. Your family had decided to spend the holidays here with Jacksonās family, while the brothers, Mark and Yugyeom, were off vacationing in Germany.
"Stop checking your phone," Jackson teased, sneaking up behind you. "You two were just FaceTiming earlier."
"I canāt help it!" you huffed, crossing your arms. "I miss him already."
Jackson chuckled, draping an arm over your shoulders and shaking his head. "Why donāt we go shopping? We can pick up something for them. Itāll take your mind off him until he wakes up, wherever he is."
It actually sounded like a good idea. Plus, you still hadnāt figured out what to get Yugyeom for the holidays. With a nod, you followed Jackson out for a shopping spree.
The streets of Tokyo were alive with dazzling lights and festive decorations. Christmas in Japan had a different kind of magicābright illuminations, couples walking hand in hand, and stores filled with limited-edition holiday merchandise. You tugged your coat tighter around you, still feeling the winter chill despite the warmth of the city.
Jackson dragged you into a luxury store first, insisting that Yugyeom needed something stylish.
"Look at this," he said, holding up a designer jacket. "This would look amazing on him."
You tilted your head, picturing Yugyeom in it. "Hmm⦠it does suit him."
"Of course, I have taste," Jackson grinned. "Unlike you, who was about to buy himāwhat? A stuffed animal?"
You swatted his arm. "He likes cute things! And he would actually keep it."
Jackson rolled his eyes. "You are so whipped."
"Whatever," you muttered, moving to another section of the store.
Eventually, you settled on a sleek silver ring that you knew would look good on his fingers. Simple but meaningful. It felt like the perfect gift.
Just as you were about to pay, your phone buzzed.
Kyum š: You awake? Kyum š: I miss you.
You couldnāt stop the huge grin that spread across your face.
Jackson groaned. "Oh my god, youāre smiling like an idiot. Youāre literally hopeless."
"Shut up," you said, quickly typing back.
You: Go back to sleep, it's 3 AM there! Kyum š: Not until you tell me you love me.
Your heart skipped a beat. Damn him.
Jackson peeked over your shoulder. "Oh my god, are you guys that cheesy? Get a roomāwait, no, get another country."
You ignored him, chuckling as you typed back.
You: Fine, I love you. Now sleep.
A reply came almost instantly.
Kyum š: I love you more. Also, buy me something cute.
You giggled. Jackson groaned dramatically. "I swear, this is worse than a K-drama."
But you didnāt care. Because no matter how far apart you were, Yugyeom always had a way of making you feel like he was right there with you.
"Seriously, what the heck? It looks like we bought out an entire store!" Jackson groaned, struggling to carry all the bags filled with the items youād picked out. You hadnāt even really thought about it, you just grabbed anything that reminded you of your boyfriend. Damn, you missed him so much. ------------------- Thanksgiving had come and gone, and you were already back home, but Yugyeom was still in Germany. Heād be there for another two days, and the separation anxiety was killing you. FaceTiming wasnāt enough, either youād fall asleep first, or he would. It was so frustrating. All you wanted was to cuddle him.
Your phone buzzed, nearly slipping from your hand as you eagerly checked, hoping it was Yugyeom. To your disappointment, it was Bambam. You werenāt even back at your dorm yet, and he was already asking to meet up.
Bam: Where are you? You: At home. Why? Bam: Too bad! Can we meet up around the area? The YSL bag Iām about to give you canāt wait.
Your eyes widened at the mention of a YSL bag.
You: You're lying. Prove it.
Bambam sent a photo almost immediatelyāa sleek black Saint Laurent bag sitting pretty in its box.
Bam: Doubt me again and Iāll give it to Lisa instead.
You rolled your eyes, but you were already reaching for your coat.
You: Fine. Where are you?
Bam: The cafƩ near your place. Hurry up, before I change my mind.
You huffed, grabbing your things and slipping on your shoes. The thought of seeing Bambam and securing a brand-new designer bag was enough to make you move fast.
As you made your way to the cafƩ, your phone buzzed again. This time, your heart skipped a beat.
Kyum š: Where are you going this late?
Damn. Did he have a sixth sense or something? You hadnāt even texted him yet.
You: Bam wants to meet up. He said he has something for me.
Kyum š: At this hour?
You bit your lip. Uh-oh. Someone was grumpy.
You: Itās fine! Iāll be quick.
No reply.
You sighed, pushing the door open to the cafĆ©, only to be greeted by Bambamās signature smirk.
"You look nervous," he teased.
You plopped down across from him. "Yugyeom is being weird."
Bambam laughed. "Ah, heās jealous."
You frowned. "Of what?"
Bambam wiggled his eyebrows, pushing the bag toward you. "Of me, obviously."
You rolled your eyes, but a small smile played on your lips. If Yugyeom was jealous, then maybe⦠just maybe⦠he was missing you a little extra tonight.
He handed you the YSL box containing the bag.
"Thanks, Bam!" you beamed.
Trust Bambam to be stylishāhe could easily pass as a stylist someday.
Your eyes lit up as you began unboxing it. What the heck? This was absolutely gorgeous.
"Glad you like it! It took Yugyeā" Huh?
You paused mid-unboxing and looked up at Bambam suspiciously.
"It took who?" You pressed.
Bambamās eyes darted to the side, and he coughed into his fist. "Uhāwhat? No one. I mean, I justāumāfound it and thought of you."
Your jaw dropped. "Bambam."
He sighed, slumping in his chair. "Okay, okay! It took Yugyeom forever to pick that bag for you, alright? He called me six times asking if youād like black or beige, if the gold chain was too much, if the size was rightā"
Your heart skipped a beat. "Wait⦠he picked this?"
"Yeah, duh." Bambam rolled his eyes. "Why do you think he was acting weird earlier? He probably wanted to give it to you himself."
You stared at the bag in your hands, warmth spreading through your chest. Yugyeom picked this. He was the one worrying over every little detail, making sure it was perfect for you.
Your phone buzzed again.
Kyum š: Are you home yet?
You bit your lip, trying to fight the stupid grin forming on your face.
Bambam groaned. "Ugh, you have that lovesick look. Just call him already!"
You laughed, clutching the bag closer. Maybe you would.
You still hadnāt replied to Yugyeom, too caught up in admiring the bag heād picked for you. You couldnāt help the fluttering in your stomach, it was so thoughtful of him. Even as you got home, you couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.
Your jaw dropped, even the bag you are holding, when you entered your house.
Yugyeom was sitting on your couch. You almost did not recognize him because...... what the hell did he do to his hair?
Yugyeom was sitting on your couch.
Your heart stopped. "W-What the hell?! What are you doing here?!"
He grinned lazily, stretching his long legs out. "Surprise."
You blinked rapidly, trying to process his presence. "You're supposed to be in Germany!"
"Yeah, well..." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly guilty. "I, uh, cut the trip short."
Your eyes widened. "Why?"
Yugyeom smirked, leaning forward. "Because someone was too busy staring at a bag to text me back."
Your mouth opened and closed, heat rushing to your cheeks. "IāI was justā"
"Just what?" He stood up, stepping closer. "Too distracted by the gift I picked for you?"
You swallowed hard, your pulse racing as he invaded your space. "Maybe."
His smirk softened, and he reached out, brushing his knuckles against your cheek. "Did you like it?"
You looked down at the bag, still stunned. "I love it."
Yugyeom hummed in satisfaction. "Good. Then I don't regret flying all the way here just to see you hold it."
Your breath hitched. "You flew back for me?"
He grinned, tilting his head. "Well⦠yeah. And maybe because I missed you like crazy."
Your heart was doing backflips at this point. "Idiot." You whispered, but you were already reaching up to pull him into a hug.
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. "Yeah, yeah. But I'm your idiot." āAnd what the hell did you do to your hair?!ā you blurted out, slightly pushing him to take in his whole new appearance. His once dark locks were now light brown, tousled messily as if he had just rolled out of bed. Yugyeom smirked, running a hand through his newly dyed hair. āYou donāt like it?ā āIāThatās not the point!ā You threw your hands in the air. . āYouāre supposed to be in Germany! And now you're here, looking like some K-drama second male lead who's about to break my heart.ā
He let out a low chuckle. āDamn, is that what I look like? Should I go back to black?ā You shook your head in disbelief, stepping closer. āNo, itās just⦠Why? And why do you look like this?ā
You had to admit, his new look did something to you that you couldnāt quite explain. He looked... magical.
āWanted a change. And⦠I missed you.ā
Your breath hitched. āSo you impulsively dyed your hair and hopped on a flight back?ā
He shrugged. āPretty much.ā
You stared at him, your emotions a chaotic mix of disbelief, fondness, and something dangerously close to love. āYouāre insane.ā
He smirked, tugging at your wrist, making you stumble forward slightly. āMaybe. But you love me anyway, donāt you?ā
You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the way your heart was hammering in your chest. āDebatable.ā
He laughed, pulling you close to him once again āThen I guess Iāll just have to make you admit it.ā
You remember you have to give him what you bought from Japan also.
Your eyes widened as you suddenly remembered the shopping bags in your room. You quickly turn around making Yugyeom raise an eyebrow at your sudden movement.
"Wait, I got you something," you said, rushing over to grab them in your room, neatly wrapped package from your shopping spree in Japan.
Yugyeom smirked, watching you with amusement when you returned. "Oh? My girlfriend spoiling me now?"
"Shut up," you muttered, shoving the bag into his hands. "Just open it."
He chuckled but did as you said, tearing into the wrapping like an eager kid on Christmas morning. His eyes lit up when he pulled out the limited edition designer hoodie you had painstakingly picked for him.
"Shit," he muttered, running his fingers over the fabric. "This is sick. You really know my taste, huh?"
You shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant even though his reaction made your heart swell. "Well, you should look good if you're gonna keep making impulsive decisions like dyeing your hair brown."
He snorted. "You love it. Admit it."
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. "Are you gonna try it on or not?"
Yugyeom smirked, standing up and pulling the hoodie over his head in one swift motion. It fit him perfectly, and damn, you had to admit he looked really good.
"So?" he asked, striking a playful pose.
You bit your lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction. "Yeah, yeah. It suits you."
He stepped closer, leaning down slightly. "That all?"
You huffed, looking away. "Fine. You look hot, okay?"
He grinned, his hands sliding around your waist. "Knew it."
You groaned. "I hate you."
"Liar," he whispered before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
You hesitated for a moment before reaching into the shopping bag again. Your fingers brushed against the small velvet box, and suddenly, you felt nervous. It wasnāt that serious, but still⦠buying a ring for someone felt kind of intimate.
Clearing your throat, you pulled out the box and handed it to Yugyeom. "I, uh⦠I also got you this."
He looked at the box, then back at you, curiosity flickering in his eyes. "A ring?"
You nodded. "You always wear them, and I saw this one and thought itād look good on you."
Yugyeom opened the box, and for a moment, he just stared. Inside was a sleek silver band, simple yet elegant, something that screamed him. His long fingers traced over the metal before he slipped it onto his ring finger, testing the fit.
"Damn," he muttered, holding up his hand to admire it. "You really know me too well."
You shrugged, trying to act casual. "If you donāt like it, you donāt have toā"
"Shut up," he interrupted, stepping closer. His fingers curled around your wrist, tugging you toward him. "I love it."
Your breath hitched when he lifted your hand, pressing a kiss against your knuckles. His lips brushed your skin so softly that it sent a shiver down your spine.
"Does this mean I gotta get you one too?" he teased, his voice low and playful.
You rolled your eyes, ignoring the heat creeping up your cheeks. "Just say thank you, idiot."
He grinned, his fingers lacing with yoursāthe ring on his hand shining under the dim light.
"Thank you, my idiot," he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your lips this time.
You wake up to darkness. The curtains are closed, not even the moonlight peeking through the gaps tonight, and the other side of the bed still empty. You frown as you reach over to the space where you're sure your boyfriend was when you went to sleep. You felt him slip into bed sometime between closing your eyes and actually drifting off, that odd little slice of time where reality wasn't quite solid but not quite fluid either.
You stretch and sit up, looking around the bedroom but there's no sign of him here either. So you get up, throwing on the hoodie he left tossed over the back of the chair in the corner yesterday, and padding out into the apartment. You find him in the kitchen.
"Kyeom?"
It's too dark to see the blush on his cheeks as he spins around at the sound of his name but you can picture it anyway. You find yourself smiling even as you rub your eyes and shuffle closer.
"What are you doing? It's..." you glance over at the time, the digital numbers lit up on the front of the oven, and frown. "3am. Kyeom why are you even awake? It's late."
His smile is sheepish and your eyes narrow in suspicion as you step right up to poke at his chest. Itās bare, as usual, and his tattoos are on full display even in the dark like this as he reaches up to run a hand through his hair. Itās already in disarray, like heās been frustrated for a while, and you wonder how long he's really been awake.
"Babe..."
He sighs and folds you into a hug, swaying back and forth lightly. You melt into his touch. Heās warm and soft and he still smells like the body wash you love from his shower earlier. You wrap your arms around his waist, cheek resting against his chest as you let your eyes close for a moment.
"Kyeomie."
He presses a kiss to the top of your hair and his hands slide down your arms to hold yours as he steps back to show you what, exactly, heās been up to. You canāt help the smile that lights up your face when you see what he's been working on.
"Oh..."
He clings to your back like a koala, arms wrapped around your waist as his nose nuzzles into the crook of your neck. You know itās mostly so you canāt see his expression but you donāt need to. The way his fingers play nervously with the strings of the hoodie say everything you need to know about what heās feeling. You take the hand tugging at them in both of yours, lifting it to your lips and letting them rest against his knuckles.
"This is what you've been hiding from me all week?"
He nods against your shoulder and you squeeze his hand lightly. "I know your birthday isn't for a few weeks but I wanted to practice. Gyu's been helping. I wanted to make sure your actual cake is perfect."
It's just like your sweet, silly boyfriend to overthink even the smallest of details. Heās not a cook, you both know this, but you have faith in the power of Kim Mingyu and his skills in the kitchen. The cake looks cute. It's yellow, his favourite colour, with what you think are meant to be flowers and vines piped along the sides.
It's a little messy and a lot lopsided but frankly, you're impressed with the decorating. You always underestimate his creative skills and ability to pick up new things so quickly.
You can feel his eyes on you, watching for your reaction as you sway in his hold. You turn your head to find big brown eyes wide with worry and quickly lean up to press a kiss to his cheek.
"Kyeom it's lovely."
He scrunches his nose and makes a displeased sound somewhere in the back of his throat. "Itās a mess."
You laugh and shake your head. "No baby. Could it use a little work? Sure. Is it still the cutest thing you've ever done, which is saying a lot because you're incredibly cute daily by the way? Also yes."
He just blinks at you. "I think we need to go get your eyes checked tomorrow."
You consider the cake. "Okay, I'll admit I'm not seeing it in the light of day."
He nods, hand squeezing your waist and pulling you closer against him.
"Can we taste it?"
He considers this. "Right now?"
You shrug. "Why not? We're already awake arenāt we?"
You both look at his masterpiece. "If itās awful please be nice to me."
You pat his cheek and step away to get two plates down from the cupboard. "No promises. I'm supposed to give honest feedback."
"Yes, about my music or my outfit or the movie we just watched yesterday. Not about my feelings."
He's sulking. You coo, reaching up to pinch one cheek as you set the plates on the counter. You grin when he just pouts at you, arms crossing over his chest. You lean up and press a kiss to the pout, making him smile even as he tries to hold back.
"Sorry. Sorry. I'll blame Gyu for any mistakes then, shall I?"
He nods. "His fault for not being a better teacher."
You just smile and shake you head, letting him nudge you aside to cut you both pieces of cake. "Maybe next time you want to bake something, ask Shua instead."
You hop up onto the counter and let your legs swing as you boyfriend plates up the slices of cake. They look okay from here, no burnt bits that you can see.
"I'd rather not embarrass myself in front of the hyungs thank you. Kook's already had the time of his life taking videos to blackmail me with for years to come."
You grin. "Think he'll share some?"
"If you ask nicely, probably." Yugyeom's betrayed glance has you rocking forward to grip his bicep for support as you laugh so hard you're practically draped over his shoulder. He pouts but one arm slips around your waist to steady your shaking frame and he keeps it there until he's sure you're steady.
You wipe the tears from your eyes and press a kiss to his temple. "Hey, you're cute when you get frustrated. Don't blame me for wanting more content of my adorable boyfriend."
He sighs. "I should never have introduced you to my friends."
You grin and wrap your arms around his neck, cheek pressed to one of his. "Aww, but baby you love that we get along."
"I do." He admits. "And I love that you and my brothers are friends but thatās so many people laughing at me."
You hum, watching his expression as he continues.
"You're supposed to be on my side, not theirs."
You smile softly, hand resting against the side of his neck as your thumb brushes back and forth in a soothing windshield wiper motion against his soft skin.
"I am on your side Kyeomie. Always baby."
He pulls you closer, moving to stand between your thigs, and drops his forehead to rest on your shoulder. You hum softly as his arms come around your waist and you wrap your legs around his. It's silent for a moment and when he looks back at you his expression is soft, unguarded, and unsure. You cup his cheek in your hand, leaning in to kiss him slowly.
"Honey, I'm always on your side. It's our side. Even when I'm laughing at you."
You promise, nose to nose with the man who still makes your heart skip a beat every time he looks at you with those big brown eyes so full of love. Every time he smiles at you like you've done something incredible just because youāre walking in the door after a long day and coming home to him. You let your fingers slide along the nape of his neck and up into his soft hair.
"Next time you need help though, you know you can ask me right?"
He nuzzles his nose against yours. "I didn't want to ruin the surprise."
"Kyeom, you making me a cake is already going to melt my whole heart into a big puddle. I don't need the heart attack waiting to happen of a surprise on top of your sweetness and consideration."
He blinks and shakes his head. "Try the cake first."
You just laugh and pull back, letting him feed you as he keeps his other hand on your hip for reassurance. You try to keep your face straight but he knows you too well. Reads the signs as your brows furrow and you cough after forcing yourself to swallow. He moves to pour you a glass of milk, which you accept gratefully, and sighs.
"It's awful, isnāt it?"
"I wouldn't say it sucks." You try to break the news gently but he isnāt having it.
He takes a bite and immediately spits it back out onto his plate. You bite back a laugh at the way he scrubs a hand over his mouth.
"Baby..."
You just blink at him.
"Itās raw. The whole middle of this cake is entirely raw."
You just grin and cup his face in your hands. "Why donāt we scrap this attempt and try again tomorrow?"
He glances at the clock, turns a glare on the offending cake, and nods. You kiss his cheek until he stops trying to murder the poor pastry with his gaze and turns to pout at you instead.
"I really thought I had it this time. I followed the instructions so well I swear."
You kiss him and pat his arm. "Next time you'll get it I'm sure. We'll make a trip to the store in the morning."
He sighs and helps you down. It doesn't take long to dispose of the offending cake and clean up the kitchen. Yugyeom is still sulking as you take his hand and lead him back to bed.
"I canāt figure out where I went wrong."
You just smile and tug the covers back up over you both. "We'll work that out tomorrow, okay? Together."
He softens at that, glancing over at you. "Together?"
You nod. He finally gives in, curling around your back as you get comfortable.
"Okay then."
The next attempt comes out much better, to both of your delights. You even let Yugyeom talk you into helping him bake one for Jackson next. Mostly for the satisfaction of watching the man open the cake carrier to lay eyes on the intricate blue and red design you two worked so hard on and regret every life decision the minute he asked his first question.
"What's with the butterfly?"
Your boyfriend's whole face lights up at this and you grip Jaebeom's arm to keep from collapsing on the spot.
"Papillon."
That's all it takes for Bam and Youngjae to cheer, running over to see for themselves. Yugyeom bounces on the spot, murmuring the lyrics to himself, and Mark joins you in clutching your stomachs to hold in the laughter. Itās not until Jinyoung, the shit disturber that he is, starts playing the song through the speakers and the dance party begins in the kitchen that you truly lose it.
Youngjae, BamBam and your boyfriend are so thrilled it's cute to see they're still Jackson's biggest fans. It takes you, Mark and Jaebeom together to keep Jackson from smashing his whole face into the cake just to ruin the design and stop them. Jinyoung is not helpful, just clapping for his little brothers' antics and grinning at Jackson's embarrassment.
"I am never teaching any of you how to bake ever again."
"But babyyy..."
"No! Mingyu's turn! I'm done! I can't breathe."
You're not sure your ribs recover until days later and Jackson, as his revenge for your role as accomplice to his embarrassment, makes sure your liver complains for a week.
The way your boyfriend's whole face lights up every time he tells the story is worth the temporary discomfort.
the older i get, the more i appreciate the competency and cooperativeness of those politicians who got together to kill caesarĀ
60 agreed to kill him and only 23 followed through with the plan, if I remember correctly.
iām american do you know how siked i would be to get 23 senators to agree on direct actionĀ
According to Christopher Andrew apparently only one stroke was actually fatal
that is exactly as effective as I expect most political action to be tbh
I think itās my duty to tell the world that not only a single stab was fatal, but also a bunch of those senators accidentally stabbed each other (and some of them died because of the wounds) cause they were panicking so much while attacking Caesar
this is it. this is the taxpayers money in action. incredible.
Jealousy | GOT7 Fake Texts
Pairing: Reader x ot7 Genre: fake texts/reactions, fluff and smut Requested: Yes ā£ļøWarnings: Dirty talk/sexting, explicit language, jealousy, slight angst, power dynamics-ish A/N: Ty for a GOT7 request :)
Home | Masterlists | Become a Lovelynaut
GOT7 Lovelynauts: @cozypaint @ktt-nz @lezleeferguson-120 @ib022 @Cristy-101
bf!jackson wang insta stories
a/n: sorry to anyone whose requests i haven't gotten to. this has been in my drafts for a hot minute, so i figures i'd just post this so i have some new content on my page š
jayb, mark, jackson, jinyoung, youngjae, bambam, yugyeom
bf!yugyeom instagram stories
jayb, mark, jackson, jinyoung, youngjae, bambam, yugyeom
taglist: @cixrosie @weird-bookworm
"comparing apples and oranges" has always been funny to me as an expression because people's go to exampe of two things so radically different that they defy any useful comparison are apples. and oranges. like you would struggle to find a more comparable pair of objects than that. theyre literally sold right next to each other in most stores.
wikipedia has a whole ass section dedicated to international variants of the idiom so let me quickly run through them
see this is even worse than oranges. pears and apples are like the most comparable things ever. france takes another L
ok so this is what i mean. these are measures of temperature and texture and are in fact not very comparable. молоГŃŃ ŃŠµŠ±ŃŃŠ° ŠæŃŠ¾Š“олжаем в ŃŠ¾Š¼ же Š“ŃŃ Šµ.
colombia wins most vivid image invoked hands down. would not want that to happen to me.
and i think we can all agree romania wins this hands down. everyone give a big round of applause to romania
insanity that they trained us to dislike body hair. body hair. that's just fuzz. that is just FUZZINESS!!! humans being fuzzy, it's one of our most adorable traits????
Me when I hiccup
I'm Not Certain Any Human Being Has Described The Experience You Are Describing
Your bones don't ache after hiccuping one too many times?
*inhales*
Careful, if you do that fast enough it hurts your bones
āwhatās the worst fruitā i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. āthe worst fruitā⦠has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt
Red Delicious Apples
5th from the bottom on applerankings.com
May I someday gain the same level of succinct cutting vitriol criticism as the applerankings.