[inacatastrophicmind]

Every Destiel touch in season 14

[boredpanda]

Perfect Handwriting Examples That’ll Give You An Eyegasm

[lchupanibre]

that fuckin alien ass mystique handwriting stealing demon kinda terrifies me

[blossomandglow]

Yeah they just kind of buried that in there like whatever

[gabriellabolton]

When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connected in the great circle of life. The Lion King (1994) dir. Roger Allers, Rob Minkoff

[dailynaomiscott]

x

[mickeyandcompany]

The Nightmare Before Christmas was released 25 years ago today. (October 29, 1993)

[chessys]

my favourite quality in a person is being that one person who listens to your story when no one else is paying attention and asks you to carry on if you start and get talked over

[localstarboy]

Calling teachers by their first name 😂

[sim-simma]

I’m frank

[captainmarvall]

reasons deadpool needs to be in the mcu

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[izzzzzzieeeeeeeee]

Every time I go downstairs to the laundry room, this pigeon tries to seduce me.

[antioch-ameno]

“we have incompatible genitals” is now my favorite excuse.

[just-shower-thoughts]

When millennials are in nursing homes bingo night will be replaced with retro Mario kart tournament night, etc.

[best-of-memes]

Rich people showers

[officialkeikoandgilly]

[labyrinth-runner]

reblogging for that gif

[immenseheadaches]

i’m sorry i couldn’t help myself 

[laterovaries-deactivated2017022]

Not gonna not reblog this….

[atomskdluffy]

The drawings are a necessary addition. (Gargle shower and fireplace showers still best)

[mr-prism]

*muffled screams*

[sunnyddlgblog]

I had to

[coffeetwosugars]

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

[actualtrashbag-deactivated20170]

holy f uck jane

[coffeetwosugars]

its a serious question

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

[coffeetwosugars]

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

[coffeetwosugars]

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

[generallyhuxurious]

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

[coffeetwosugars]

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

[the-negotiator]

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

[coffeetwosugars]

now that u said it im really surprised as well

[rainnecassidy]

what the fuck did i just read

[manynamedshe]

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

[thewinterotter]

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

[audsbot]

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”

“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”

“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

[constant-instigator]

Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“you what now”

[andhumanslovedstories]

I can’t believe in the year of our lord 2k16 and today I stood in an actual Blockbuster in the state of Alaska

[threesideddream]

officially a museum

[2winpeaks]

[cornchipz-revival]

when you are under the word count for an essay

[prokopetz]

Trainability in cats is a funny thing.

My cats understand and will obey a number of verbal commands, one of which is “go away”. I don’t use it often, but if they’re bugging me and I’m trying to work or doing something that could be dangerous for cats, I can tell them to go away, and off they go - they’ll only keep pestering me if there’s a serious problem they need me to look at.

That said, their idea of a serious problem that requires my attention is somewhat eccentric. Previous instances have included:

There was an unfamiliar car parked across the street

Their water bowl was four inches to the left of its usual position

One of them had puked on the stairs and they didn’t want to walk past it

It was raining

One of them saw a weird bug

[hollowedskin]

These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.

[readysteadytrek]

≧◡≦  Spot and Androids  ≧◡≦

[pippinthepenguin]

I