Fandom Mess

he/him this blog is Explicit - sex, gore, etc. hi! I'm a writer and artist. Multifandom. https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piratecoreart

[piratecore-art]

Hey there! Welcome to my hellspace.

We're entity of some type or possibly a collective, and most of us use he/him.

Updated fandom list!!

I give up. This is a mess lol

fandoms you will see on here- Hazbin hotel, all for the game, and the og descendants, maybe superbat, OUAT- who knows lol

My AO3 is here:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Everyone who can be respectful and cordial is welcome. 💜

Feel free to Dm me about my headcanons or fics or drop me an ask!!

And if you want me to write a personalized fic for you, drop an ask or a dm- I love making dreams come true lol. Will write smut, gore, etc. Won't write underage, bodily function, anything I feel uncomfy with. Sometimes I accept payment, usually I'll do an art trade of some kind.

Thanks!!

[jasontoddscrowbars]

Bruce, nervously and gently: so, Tim. Timmy. Timothy boy. You have any plans to move out yet?

Tim:

Tim: I suddenly don’t feel like I’m in a safe space anymore.

Bruce: cmon kiddo, I’m just suggesting now might be a good time-

Tim: Jason told me this would happen, where is he, jason! Jason… JASON!

Jason, freezing as he’s rummaging in the fridge behind them.

Jason: this seems kind of personal-

Tim: I’m moving in.

Jason: I just got away from you. Do you know how hard it is to get away from a stalker?

Tim: stop being dramatic Jason.

Tim: I watch you sleep every night anyways.

Jason:

Jason: yeah, not only is he not moving in, but I’m also getting an electric collar on him that zaps him whenever he comes within ten feet of my front door.

Bonus:

Later that night Jason gets into bed. Flicks the switch off. There’s this eerie feeling though that the back of his mind. He quickly sits back up turning the light on and turns looking into his room but it’s empty.

Jason, getting a sense of dejavu: I suddenly don’t feel like I’m in a safe space anymore.

Tim, playing on his phone in his closet: I’ll protect you, boo.

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 3 (masterpost here)

*peaceful quiet in the kitchen, Alfred cooking while Tim and Jason chill on their phones at the breakfast bar*

Tim, out of the blue: hey Jay, gotta question for you.

Jason: *hums promptingly*

Alfred: *calmly stirring a pan on the stove*

Tim: would you jerk off a gorilla?

Alfred: *pauses stirring* *refuses to look behind him*

*a beat*

Jason: *hums, remarkably open-minded* can i get more context of the conditions i'd be under?

Alfred, sighing heavily: *slowly begins stirring again*

Tim: like- you know that trend of trying to figure out who would win; 100 men or 1 gorilla?

Jason: ya.

Tim: well somebody online brought up the strategy of like. whacking it off and then taking it down while it's vulnerable. and i keep thinking about it.

Jason, instant and casual: well s' a natural thing to think about, you're at a very crucial time in your human development. hormones ablaze, nothin' to be ashamed of, Timmy.

Tim, unphased: -shut up, i'm serious. i'm just wondering like, if all of us- bats i mean, if all of us were up against one gorilla and we had to fall back on jerking it. which one of us would take the bullet? like would you do it for us?

Alfred, pointedly, teeth gritted, without turning around: dinner will be ready in twenty minutes, you two.

*a beat*

Jason, sounding slightly confused: yeah we know Alfie, we've been here the whole time- anyway, Tim,

Alfred: *dead-eyed staring forward as they continue talking*

Jason: -in what universe would we have to resort to jerking this thing off? if we're up against a gorilla i'm fucking shooting it in the face harambe style. i've done worse, i can take it.

Tim: no you don't- *sigh* you don't get it. the whole point is that we get no weapons whatsoever, just pure unaided humanity against a formidable angry gorilla.

Jason: we're trained vigilantes?! i don't think we'd have an issue?!

Tim: it's a fucking hypothetical Jason. in a world where we didn't have those skills-

Jason: i'd be dead way before we got to the gorilla- Tim, i know you have that whole hero-worship thing goin' on with me, but you realise that with those skills i lost to just a guy holding a crowbar, right? what makes you think that without the skills i would even make it to the gorilla fight? let alone hold my own against it?

Tim: well no- that's what i'm saying! i'm saying that if you couldn't fight the gorilla, would you whack it-

Jason: -no you're not! you're talking some bullshit about me never having been trained by Batman, and i'm telling you i'd have been fucked way before i ever got to the gorilla. if this is a batskill-less fight then i wouldn't fuckin' be there.

Tim: no but- *groans* you are so finicky- ok so we have the batskills, and you made it to the gorilla fight,

Jason, matter-of-fact: gorilla would be dead within minutes.

Tim: OK BUT WE CAN'T FIGHT IT.

Jason: oh for- why not?

Tim: i don't fuckin' know-!

*footsteps from down the hall*

Tim: there's gotta be some kind of reason that physical combat won't work- oi, Damian, Damian!

Damian, entering the kitchen: hm? Pennyworth, father is wondering what time he should come down from his study for dinner.

Alfred, dead inside: tell him he should probably just stay up there.

Damian: *confused*

Tim: Damian! what would stop you from fighting a gorilla?

Damian:

Damian: respect for the species, i suppose?

Jason: ok well would respect for the species lead you to jerk off the gorilla?

Alfred: he is thirteen, Master Jason.

Damian, unphased: in what context would a gorilla wish for me to stimulate it sexually?

Alfred: lord help me.

Jason: in the context of god apparently won't let us fight it.

Tim: that's not what i said-

Jason: i don't understand why we're jerking this thing off. you said in the beginning we were jerkin' it so it would be vulnerable enough for us to take down; but you just said we can't fight it. so at this point we're just subjecting poor little Damian to being this gorilla's concubine for no reason. we're gonna get it vulnerable and then just do nothing about it.

Damian: do i get hand sanitiser for afterwards?

Jason: no, god also took away our tools and weapons- is that your only issue with this?

Tim: NO I'M NOT- i'm not saying we can't fight the gorilla at all, i'm just saying the gorilla has outclassed us and we have to fall back to whacking it off to lower it's abilities!

Damian: in what universe would a gorilla outclass us, we were trained by Batman.

Tim:

Tim, flat: gorilla was trained by Lady Shiva.

Jason: w- i was trained by Lady Shiva. you were trained by Lady Shiva; for longer than me! you fight the gorilla!

Tim: ok but you understand that if me and the gorilla had the same training but the gorilla is way bigger and way heavier then the gorilla would still win, right? that's why i'm wondering who would whack it off, who would we sacrifice?

Jason: well- Damian, apparently, since his only gripe was 'will i get hand sanitiser afterwards'.

Damian, hissing: i never said i would do it i was just trying to gather more context-

Jason: i mean the question nobody's asking here is would the gorilla even want it?

Tim: what do you mean?

Jason: i mean, if god locked us up with the gorilla; no tools and no escape, then logically the gorilla is also locked in right? he's just as much a victim as us. why do we gotta resort to sexual warfare? can't we team up with the gorilla to fight god and get out?

Tim: w-

Tim, thinking:

Tim, decisive: no the gorilla would be ok with it. the gorilla doesn't care about being locked in, it just wants us all dead. the strategy here is getting the gorilla to fall in love with us.

Damian: regardless of if the gorilla is 'ok' with it, it being locked in without escape is still coercion. we can't do that to the gorilla.

Jason: .....i dunno...

Damian: what do you mean 'i dunno', you're literally the guy who shoots people like that in the alley without hesitation.

Jason: well yeah but that's people-

Damian: SO WITH ANIMALS IT'S OK?

Jason: w- no, hold on NO, NO NO, I DIDN'T MEAN- i hate this fucking conversation, because that's completely out of context and it sounds horrible. i'm just- does it sound horrible to say- Alfie, does it make me horrible to say that if i had to decide between gang-banging a gorilla and the gorilla gang-banging me and my family, that i would choose to gang-bang the gorilla? like it's worst case scenario BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE THAT'S LOGICAL?

Alfred: *speechless*

Dick, having just entered the room: what the ever-loving fuck are you guys talking about in here?

*silence*

Jason: ok fuck this- Dick, if you had to whack off a gorilla to save Damian from having to whack off a gorilla, would you do it?

Dick:

Dick: like for a certain amount of time...? or just-

Tim: to completion. we're killing the gorilla during the post-nut-daze.

Dick:

Dick: then yeah sure.

Jason: boom, problem solved, we'd send in Nightwing. happy now Tim?

Tim: yeah that makes sense.

Jason: great. Alfie, when did you say dinner would be ready?

Alfred:

Alfred:

Alfred: i really need to retire.

[flowerf1elds]

Dick tends to ask a lot. Especially, ask about people around his little brother. Is totally bc he's worried about Jason's safety and not bc the thought of anyone trying to catch Jason's attention makes his brain scream "why is this person talking with my little wing?"

Dick would be up to his space when he's back from a mission asking all types of questions "How was your mission?" "Are you hurt?" "What about a bath?" And then when Jason is soaking in hot water Dick will start cleaning his hair, massaging his scalp and then: "who was that guy that talked to you at (specific date and time) on the port?"

Jason can't see his face but knows the drill, "some goon from the person we are investigating."

"we..?"

"the bats, remember? Bruce said we should team up for this and— oh, that's good," Dick had started to massage Jason's shoulders, making him relax further. Dick chuckled.

"Right. But what about—"

And the rest of the bath and evening is spent answering Dick questions, being hugged and manhandled around their apartment. That's fine with Jason, he doesn't need to do anything other than talk with Dick and the conversation will naturally steer to casual when Dick is satisfied.

–💐

[spiffy07]

guess who has a(nother) new obsession

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[kaelio]

Recipes from Portland's famous but long-closed Rheinlander restaurant. This cookbook was produced in a limited window before Chef Mager's death. All of these fucking slap.

[ladyvean]

For my fellow vegan/vegetarians, these sound scrumptious and look pretty simple to make substitutions!

[kaelio]

just to be clear

[certifiedsoupposts]

certified soup post

[kaelio]

It's sooo good

The lentil soup post is yeah beyond amazing. I know lentil soup doesn't seem like it could be that good. You simply don't Know how beloved the rheinlander lentil soup was. This was a famous soup here.

[eldritchdilf-deactivated2025061]

Contrary to popular belief the biggest beginner's roadblock to art isn't even technical skill it's frustration tolerance, especially in the age of social media. It hurts and the frustration is endless but you must build the frustration tolerance equivalent to a roach's capacity to survive a nuclear explosion. That's how you build on the technical skill. Throw that "won't even start because I'm afraid it won't be perfect" shit out the window. Just do it. Just start. Good luck.

[piratecore-art]

Start and get it wrong and look at the bits you like and save those and do it again and it's still wrong but better and again and it'll never not be "wrong" but it'll also always be better and sometimes that's the point

[piratecore-art]

[dovesndecay]

I see a lot of folks defending their vitriolic repugnance towards toddlers with cries of "but my sensory needs!" as if children are not also in possession of sensory needs. As if you, an adult here on Tumblr.com, do not have the capability and resources to learn the skills or acquire aids for coping with competing access needs. Or, y'know, just the option to leave, the way children most often do not.

You're holding an actual child to higher standards than you hold yourself, but it's the child that should be removed from public and community spaces. For your comfort.

Go fuck yourselves.

[motherblackcap]

I heard it was that time of year again.

[piratecore-art]

[depsidase]

[riggio037]

[greyladyrae]

This, if Tuesday was as far back as the Nixon administration. Tricky Dick knew (and his staffers have admitted on the record) that the best way for him to get reelected was to exclude the counter culture and black community votes. So he pushed for legislation that made marijuana illegal and a felony, because convicted felons can’t vote, and the common denominator for his targeted groups was marijuana use.

The government has been broken for a really long time, and we’re living through the consequences of that

[piratecore-art]

This last re-blog is SO important. Just because we pretended, because we taught in schools, because we were told, that racism was solved and democracy was real, doesn't mean that was true.

It was never true. It was just comfortable. Don't base your beliefs on what is comfortable.

[stillnaomi]

unless you want to teach small kids about a laundry list of sex acts, they're not going to even recognise many acts of CSA as sexual in nature. instead, we need to have children who are raised with an expectation of bodily autonomy and who feel comfortable complaining when they're made or asked to do things they don't feel comfortable with. we need children to have the expectation that those complaints will be taken seriously and that they'll receive backup to make sure situations like that don't continue. if their desires for bodily autonomy are consistently ignored, how can we expect them to speak out when something confusing and uncomfortable happens with their parent, cousin, or babysitter? we've already taught them that what they feel comfortable with doesn't matter

[redstonedust]

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

[alloutshirt]

no i didn’t skip that song because i don’t like it, i skipped it because i don’t have the emotional stability to listen to it now

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM