Untitled

reverse solipsist

[pocketss]

distressing things to say to your friends

[monstrous-ideas]

Its been five years of it’s august and the flow of time still haunts me

[dorothygale]

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

[worldbuilding-tomfoolery]

you're also, like, thinking about it a little bit whenever you see one, and it's annoying because not only is it wrong but it's also taking up mental bandwidth and you can't delete net zero information at will

[anik]

i love this guy

[oneheadtoanother]

[beholdingslut]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

Visit Original Link

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

[punkrorschach]

happy first day of pride everyone

[hopelesslyshippingthem]

This is insane. But understandable that a corporation would be like, "Yes. Let's pay someone money to make a vocalised list of words we can't say. This is reasonable."

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[anyroads]

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

[mindovermuses]

But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?

[muffinflarp69]

There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.

[zinjanthropusboisei]

Hell yeah CLRG!

[mitchipedia]

[duckbunny]

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

[duckbunny]

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

[pseudomasochist]

Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs

[fractoluminescence]

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

[duckbunny]

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[monkeyislandtwo]

why r callouts always like "please dont harass this person and dont go after them. anyway heres every single detail of their life gathered by stalking and their private profiles for all to see"

[monkeyislandtwo]

"please don't go after this person! now let me post this document for every single one of my followers and list every single one of their usernames"

[cannibalisticdespair]

[cardassiangoodreads]

I have to say the weirdest thing about this website’s faux-progressivism isn’t the misogyny or Islamophobia or antisemitism or transphobia or any other of various bigotries — sadly, par for the course for the left across time — it’s the way opposition to the death penalty is treated like it’s inconceivable to so many here. Granted, a lot of them are the moral guardian respectability politics types who aren’t actually as left wing as they think they are, but it’s still funny how many people who’d frame themselves as various shades of radical are like “why wouldn’t you want to execute a pedophile / murderer / rapist?” like the only possible reasons could be sympathy for that pedomurderapist.

And you have to be like: "Well, my friend, it’s actually because I don’t think anyone should be executed. I don’t think the state (nor any other kind of vigilante justice group you come up with outside of it) should have that kind of power, particularly given how many are found to be innocent decades later."

Which is a position so "radically leftist" that it’s the law in normie liberal democracies across the world and slightly less than half of the US states. No fewer than four red states (Alaska, Iowa, North Dakota and West Virginia) are to Tumblr Radicals’ left on this issue.

[sebsketchs]

sticker design for pride this year! 💞🏳️‍⚧️

[official-anti-jkr-posts]

This is an official anti-JKR post

[omegaversereloaded]

ilove when someone posts about an issue that's supposedly plaguing society and it's painfully obvious that said issue is not a thing that matters if youre not on tiktok

[nianeyna]

reminds me of this reddit comment I have saved

[threeeyedharemp3]

first day in the time loop it is not a loop yet. i go about my day and its a pretty good day and when i make my evening cup of tea i wish all days were like this

[threeeyedharemp3]

second day in the time loop and in the moment before waking i have a dream about something i have to do tomorrow. i do not realise i will never get to do it.

[threeeyedharemp3]

third day in the time loop i get hit with a wave of deja vu sitting in traffic. i am bored of the songs on the radio.

[threeeyedharemp3]

fourth day in the time loop i realise i am mouthing along to my lecturer even though i do not know anything about the sampling of early electronic music.

[threeeyedharemp3]

sixth day in the time loop my friend says hello to me and i say 'yes i know'. she looks at me funny and i apologise. she starts telling me about her girlfriend and i simply do not care. i feel mean for not caring. when i get home i accidentally walk into a doorframe which does not improve my mood. i realise i already have a bruise on my elbow.

[threeeyedharemp3]

seventh day in the time loop i realise there has been a cloud shaped like a weasel outside my bedroom window for the last week. i think 'what are the chances of that' and then i realise the chances are very very low.

[threeeyedharemp3]

eighth day in the time loop i skip everything i had planned to sit by the river and read. i know all about the sampling of early electronic music now and if i have to listen to the radio play summertime or my friend talk about her girlfriend and her stupid cat one more time i am going to scream.

[threeeyedharemp3]

ninth day in the time loop the irony of hearing summertime every day becomes apparent. i am trapped in an endless summer day. i remember the saying about not being able to stand in the same river twice so i make a point of standing in the same river for half an hour on the off chance i'm doing it at the same time as i dipped my feet in yesterday just so i could be the exception.

[threeeyedharemp3]

tenth day in the time loop it is very obvious that no one else know they are in a loop. i wonder if the whole world is looped and i'm just the only one who knows it or if i'm the only one who is looped and the world is seeing endless double exposures of me. i wonder which loop is the real one.

[threeeyedharemp3]

eleventh day in the time loop i wonder if i'm aging at all.

[threeeyedharemp3]

twelfth day in the time loop i start to think about video games. playing the same level over and over and over again. you die on the same point of the level every time but you re appear the start to have another go. i wonder what part of the day i am stuck on. which obstacle i have to beat to get to move on to tomorrow.

[threeeyedharemp3]

thirteenth day in the time loop i am remembering everything now. i do not think i did at the start but i can definitely remember what i had for breakfast yesterday morning because that was today. my friend calls me in the middle of the night asking why i wasn't at the lecture. i start telling her that i've already been to that lecture six times when it hits midnight and the loop resets.

[threeeyedharemp3]

fourteenth day in the time loop i drive as far away as possible to see if i still wake up in my bed when the loop resets. i get a cheese and pickle sandwich from a gas station but it sucks so i leave without paying. i do buy a packet of gum though. just not the sandwich. i wonder how food works in a time loop and suppose food consumed gets um-consumed. the radio stills play summertime and as i drive i think about the inherent time loop of a song. the exact same four and a half minutes over and over and over again. i wonder if we have a god complex about our favourite songs. i wonder if i am getting to wound up in the themes of the time loop and if there is an easier way to solve this than getting philosophical. it is a long car ride and i have a lot of time to think. but still only twenty four hours.

[threeeyedharemp3]

fifteenth day in the time loop i get up early wash my hair and sit outside on the porch. a woman walks past with her dog. they were not there on the fourteen day and i think this is a good sign.

[threeeyedharemp3]

sixteenth day in the time loop i open my diary and see that i have been writing on the same page over and over and over. i turn the page and write 'today is tomorrow' in big letters.

[threeeyedharemp3]

on the seventeenth day i the loop breaks. i still don't know what i did. i don't think it was the diary page because that reset but the world didn't. or i didn't. or something. i go to the scheduled lecture and i'm so relieved its not about early electronic samples i get lost in the lecturer's voice and forget to take notes. i order a piece of lemon cake from the cafe because they didn't have it yesterday but they do today. i hang out with my friend and she tells me about some endearing silly thing her girlfriend did and i laugh. it's a nice day. i find myself thinking 'i wish more days were like this' but i don't think i do, actually.

[just-spacetrash]

in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job

[fvckw4d]

Thanks to Equestria v Sugar Sprinkle, cutie mark interview questions are considered hiring discrimination, so if anypony asks you any cutiemark related questions or even alludes to any questions about your cutiemark such as "In your own words, describe your life purpose" you can and should refuse to answer. Know your rights, ponies.

[spooky-fubuki]