prueberries & cream

✨melissa✨she/her✨gay✨ thirties flirty and thriving

[millidew]

[kesselshpil]

It was just a bad dream after all

Have you heard about that terrible story in the Good Omens finale? Ugh, I know, right? Scary.

#GoodOmens3 #aziracrow

[10yrsyart]

happy book omens week!  

this is sort of how i pictured this line when i first read it, and now i realize this is exactly how Crow would describe his experience; riddled with inconsistency and exaggeration. (Az is not buying it hahah)

Tip Jar: Kofi / Paypal :)

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[tartan-thermos]

Listen, we all laugh at how much mileage Aziraphale is gonna get out of his kinky ‘captive princess’ fantasies once he and Crowley get it together, and we are completely right and correct to do so. But we’ve all been sleeping on the other half of that equation. Because Aziraphale’s the one who’s been setting up these, “Oh no, I am dramatically imperiled (and/or mildly inconvenienced); where oh where is the dashing and devilishly handsome knight who will save me?” scenarios for centuries - but Crowley’s the one who’s been turning up unfailingly, again and again and again.

Because Crowley? Crowley wants to be the hero. Crowley wants to be James Bond. He wants it so badly it hurts, bullet-hole windscreen transfers and all. Crowley’s deep, dark fantasy is that he can be good - but also a little bit bad. The rogue agent, the wild card, the one who doesn’t follow the rules, and doesn’t much truck with listening to his superiors. Crowley’s deep, dark fantasy is one in which he gets it right; in which he does the right thing at the right time, and has the right witty comeback in the right situation, and instead of being punished, he saves the day and wins the heart of the genderless celestial being of his choice. Crowley’s deep, dark fantasy is one in which he is never not in control of his situation; one in which he bounces back easily and stylishly from all manner of fights and challenges and adversity; where he faces nothing he cannot overcome with the right combination of wit, ballsiness, and a little Hollywood luck. Crowley’s deep, dark fantasy, the one he can never, ever admit out loud, is one where the world is simple and uncomplicated in the way nothing in real life is simple and uncomplicated; a world in which the good end happily, the bad unhappily, the baddies are dispatched in PG-13 fashion, and none of it needs to be questioned or second-guessed at all.

Crowley’s deep, dark fantasy is one in which there is nothing so dastardly, nothing so terrible or fearsome, that it cannot be solved by a guy in a flash suit arriving in the nick of time with a fancy car, and a complicated watch, and a pen that can write underwater.

[aduckwithears]

The end of good omens 3 except instead of Satan and God showing up in the bookshop it’s the delivery man from s1 to pick up the backup copy of the Book of Life that has been there all along.

[wingly-coded]

I had been lost to you, sunlight

And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight

Oh, your love is sunlight

Oh, your love is sunlight

But it is sunlight

[jerreeeeeee]

the way i understand the difference between blorbo and The Character is that blorbo activities are 1. fun and 2. voluntary. when youre rotating blorbo in your mind you’re playing with your tuoys. but when The Character has got ahold of you then you are a tortured artist being plagued by visions

[the-halfling-prince]

"I need to see them suffer" I say about a character who already does nothing but suffer

[evilscientist3]

Theyre called draculas because they drank u. La

[jame7t]

Did anyone else hear just one single angelic note

[wizardshark]

[amygdalae]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[amygdalae]

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

[toonlink1210]

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

[rainbowhyperfixation]

[playablekairi]

it hurts like hell to love this well but no one falls the way we fell

[zmpl]

it’s funny how we’re getting to the point in the AI lifespan where you can feel the desperation from tech companies to have you use their AI features. instagram has moved their AI effects to the top of the menu when you’re creating a post for your story, exactly where the draw/edit button used to be. gmail is creating one-click AI-generated replies right before you open up the text box. spotify put a beta AI playlist generator on the front page that looks just like a search bar so all of their users accidentally click on it when they go to search for a song.

tech companies are shaking in their boots trying to prove to shareholders that their investment in AI is worth it, to the point where they’re tricking their users into using the AI features even for a split second in order to fudge the numbers. like awww is your little environment-destroying toy not wielding the results you hoped for? so sad!

[cowthropologist]

Do I actually want to write this fanfic or do I just want to wallow in the delicious daydream like a pig in the mud?

[thebitchywitchyone]

Unfortunately I wish for others to wallow in my magnificent mud pit

[yaketysmax]

thank you for the magnificent mud pits, fanfic writers

[awesomebutunpractical]

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".

[willgrahamscock]

ai could never outdo my beautiful perverted mutuals

[willgrahamscock]

this is because they write with their mind penis and have terrible childhoods and horrible luck, which seems to be the key factor in writing shakespeare level smut