& stay not a grown up

When I was young I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.

[lesbianpeachs]

are you a finger guns bisexual or an awkward thumbs up bisexual

[lesbianpeachs]

everyone keeps saying “both” and I suddenly feel regretful I asked a bunch of bisexuals to make a choice

[justsomeantifas]

person with a degree in a field: *says something accurate about said field* someone who has never even had a high school course in said field: wow you should really take a class in that field because you sound like an idiot. even I, someone who has never studied this in my life, know you’re wrong. person with a degree in a field: 

[rotfae]

me, visibly crying tears of joy and love: holy shit

[antiandrogen]

“, bones reveal” is killing me

[theliberaltony]

[playfulparenting]

This episode made me cry. I'm so proud and thankful!

[playfulparenting]

Obviously important news for the future. Excuse my messy handwriting.

[hyrude]

i was in a thrift shop the other day and they were playing the most unsettling variations of normal christmas music, culminating in this rendition of the 12 days of christmas except it was like 12 guys all singing over each other and going “no!” and interrupting the lyrics with random other phrases until they deadass just started singing 5 golden rings to toto’s africa. can anyone confirm that this is a real song and not that i stroked so hard i astral projected into a universe where everything is somehow worse than it is here

[flaminggoosememe]

https://youtu.be/2Fe11OlMiz8

I remember listening to this in grade school. I am going to go get some Chinese food.

[pizzopaps]

this is what my anxiety attacks sound like

[tchrgleek]

Oh I needed this laugh this evening. Thank you so much.

[honeysucklepink]

In case anyone didn’t want to leave Tumblr and just hit “play”

[npr]

Long live Leontyne Price!

As it turns out, the celebrated soprano is doing exactly that — today marks her 90th birthday.

The sound of Price’s radiant voice got people talking even at the local weddings and funerals she sang at in her youth in Laurel, Miss. Later, thanks to a prominent Laurel family, she had financial backing to study at New York’s Juilliard School. Price’s student performances drew attention there too, leading to her first big break in 1955.

Leontyne Price At 90: The Voice We Still Love To Talk About

Photo: James Heffernan/Metropolitan Opera Archives

[sandandglass]

Kyle Kinane - Loose In Chicago (2016)

[basdos]

[rainbow-bear]

A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne; this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children’s pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants.

[ademigodgirl]

The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.).  The other kids cheated and got different seeds and planted them.  The little girl didn’t cheat and was not able to grow anything because the seed was dead.  She was the only one who didn’t cheat.

[lizthefangirl]

damn

[zorascreation]

Nothing like original fairy tales! 

[roachpatrol]

i get the moral it’s trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the kingdom’s doomed. you don’t appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in charge of like… the army, or something. the department of agriculture. 

i’d send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid knows:

a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn’t fuck around when they didn’t) 

b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or are observant enough to do it themselves)

c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren’t great gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the work— just what you want from a child ruler and their regent)

all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so early and in a situation with such high stakes. ‘whoops i didn’t grow a plant’ sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like ‘i give up on ruling my country’. 

you know, i think i’d also send agents out to encourage the kids to destroy each other’s plants. let’s see who’s good at seige warfare, too.

[incorrectdiscworldquotes]

Did Lord Vetinari write that post?

[mongolman101]

Either Havelock Vetinari, or his second cousin once removed, Niccolo Machiavelli.

[bowsersex-deactivated20220424]

No offense but in Santa Clause is Coming to Town (aka Santa’s Origin Story) young Santa be lookin kinda cute. Like if he was real and looked like that, I’d be probably be up all night on Christmas Eve, not to sound like a thot 🤔

[megamindmutual-deactivated20191]

do you take constructive criticism?

[jokeboyfriend-is-remaking-deact]

did da vinci take criticism on the fucking cistine chapel let them speeak

[megamindmutual-deactivated20191]

you know i was gonna say that the post is good but this reply had such raw power that i died as soon as i saw it. this is my ghost’s attempt to make contact from the other side

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

I’m never gonna let you dumb pieces of shit forget you made me view all of these with my own eyes on my very own face.

[ourexes]

wow she beat him again

[chaisexuality-archive]

anyways i dont wanna see m*lanie m*rtinez on my dash ever again because she is literally a fucking rapist

[chaisexuality-archive]

update: melanie admitted that this story was true

[girloleander-deactivated2018042]

and she didn’t even actually apologize? “she never actually said no…” that is not an apology an apology is showing remorse not vindicating yourself from your wrongdoing. there were many ways the victim said no, she just may not have said it verbally.

[accidentalharrie]

Daily reminder that Chance is my (second) favorite person in the world. (x)

[yesterdaysprint]

Barnard Bulletin, New York, December 20, 1935

[daisyjazzridley]

*male celebrities worrying about getting their career ruined*

all of us: